Is It About The Chase Or The Girl?
by Sishopper
Summary: The relationship between James Potter and Lily Evans hasn't always been trustworthy, their arguments most often heated. What changes between them, to the point that James finally gets the girl of his dreams? And just how do the Marauders and the war factor in? Starts from the summer after fifth year, hope to be as canon compliant as possible. Rated for swearing and hints, MWPP era.
1. Chapter 1

Title: **Is It About The Chase Or The Girl?**  
Author: Sishopper  
Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Romance/Angst

 _The relationship between James Potter and Lily Evans hasn't always been trustworthy, their arguments most often heated. What changes between them, to the point that James finally gets the girl of his dreams? And just how do the Marauders factor in? Starting from the summer after fifth year, hoping to be as canon compliant as possible. Rated T for swearing and hinting._

 **I hope you all enjoy this fanfic and that you add it to your following/favourites. Please don't forget to review, it really goes a long way.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything else in that world, I can't even afford gum.**

 **Chapter 1**

 _The rain pours down, shattering the cement. It tears the road and rips out the grass. Pouring through the cracks in the roof, it swells through the holes in the windows, and tears through them until they're twice their size. You can feel it in your bones and so you rejoice and praise in it's homecoming. The way it is calming while being catastrophic, to people and nature around it. It's coming, you can always tell. It arrives with dark clouds, in a deep grey sky and it changes the world to match. If you're outside when this happens, it's like you can almost smell the change and destruction of wildlife and the rips and tears of human life. It is powerful and strong, a force not to be reckoned with. And yet some do not realize just how murderous it can be._

 _For it has no fear, as there is nothing that can harm it. But it is the thing most victims fear, because it holds the unknown._

The sky seemed to be looming over the family car, just coming from King's Cross Station in London. Lily Evans had spent most of her day looking up at the sky, admiring the rain and ignoring the painful memories that beckoned from the corners of her mind. When she paused long enough, they all came rushing back to her.

 _Lily had been at the lake's edge after writing her O.W.L. exam for Defence Against the Dark Arts, looking over her transfiguration notes while her friends relaxed beside her when she saw a crowd gathering around a clump of students. Lily had a bad feeling that it had something to do with Severus and Potter and, all the while muttering to herself (all her friends could hear was 'James Bloody Potter'), she stood up and stormed over to try to dispatch the crowd. She arrived just in time to hear James utter what she was sure was some cutting remark, followed by 'Scourgify!', causing pink soap bubbles to stream from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him until Lily was close enough to do something._

 _'Leave him ALONE!' She bellowed, pink patches covering her cheeks in her anger. She wanted to punch James in the face –and she would've too, if they'd been alone. But as it stood, she didn't want the younger years to think that physical violence was the way to solve a problem –even though it sure as hell made Lily feel better._

 _James and Sirius turned round with James' free hand immediately jumping to his hair, just as Lily approached the boys. 'All right, Evans?' said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly irritatingly conversational, as if he wasn't just choking her best friend on the ground with soap._

 _'Leave him alone,' Lily repeated. Lily stared at James, every sign of her great dislike of him evident in her expression. 'What's he done to you?'_

 _'Well,' said James, appearing to deliberate the point, 'it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…' Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Peter included, but Lily didn't, and nor did Remus Lupin –she gave him points for that, though they merely cancelled out the negative ones for not doing anything to dissuade the confrontation from happening in the first place._

 _'You think you're funny,' she said coldly. 'But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.' She swore in her mind as soon as she saw James' response cross his mind. She knew before he even opened his mouth what he would say and she swore vehemently when she was not proven wrong._

 _'I will if you go out with me, Evans,' said James quickly, practically jumping at the opening that Lily had inadvertently given him. 'Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.' Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off, though James was so focused on the redhead before him that he paid no attention to Snape; spitting out soapsuds as he crawled, Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand._

 _'I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,' exclaimed Lily adamantly._

 _'Bad luck, Prongs,' said Sirius briskly, turning his focus back to Snape. 'Oi!' But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood._

 _As Lily's heart froze and her mind went blank, she was unable to prevent what happened next._

 _James whirled about and a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants. Many people in the small crowd cheered; Sirius, James and Wormtail roared with laughter._

 _Lily shoved away her feelings to deal with later –though she was unable to stop her furious expression from twitching into a small smile and, after forcing the ironic memories of when she had cast the very same jinx on her best friend –in private! –after he made a sarcastic comment about wanting to see what type of undergarments Professor Taylor wore out of her mind, turned back to James and snarled viciously, 'Let him down!'_

 _'Certainly,' said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground._

 _After disentangling himself from his robes, he quickly got to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, 'Locomotor mortis!' and Snape keeled over again at once, rigid as a board._

 _'LEAVE HIM ALONE!' Lily shouted furiously; she had her own wand out now and James and Sirius eyed it warily –with good reason, as they had both felt the brunt of her fury coming from her wand's end many, many times in the past._

 _'Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you,' said James earnestly, though he looked rather reluctant to do so; his fear of retaliation was great and he did not look forward to the pain it would undoubtedly entail._

 _'Take the curse off him, then!'_

 _James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse._

 _'There you go,' he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. 'You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus—'_

 _'I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!'_

 _Lily blinked. She opened her mouth, paused, closed it and opened it with narrowed eyes once more, 'Fine,' she said coolly, nudging aside her fury. 'I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.'_

 _'Apologize to Evans!' James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him._

 _'I don't want you to make him apologize,' Lily shouted, rounding on James. 'You're as bad as he is.'_

 _'What?' yelped James, suddenly looking affronted and upset. 'I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!'_

 _'Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.' She turned on her heel and hurried away, furious with everyone there, but most importantly, herself._

 _'Evans!' James shouted after her. 'Hey, EVANS!'_

But she didn't look back. She hadn't spoken to either Potter nor Snape since then, not even five days later once they were all on the Hogwarts Express heading home.

Try as she might, not speaking does not mean that she didn't think about them. She spent the lengthy train ride to London from Hogsmeade staring out the window up at the sky and thinking about them, (much like she did now) ignoring her friends and only murmuring some vague response when they tried to bring her into their conversation about their extensive traveling plans for the summer. Now, in a different kind of car, with the same sky and thoughts on the same boys, she did the same thing when her parents tried to ask her how her fifth year at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, went. Because, you see, Lily Evans was not normal. In fact, she was as far from normal as one can be –much to her sister's chagrin. Lily Evans was a witch and, coming from a family of muggles (non-magic folk), she had grown up knowing nothing of the amazing world that was just under her nose. That is, until she met a certain hooked-nosed, greasy black-haired boy, who happens to be the very Severus Snape that she couldn't stop thinking about, along with the annoying prick of a boy called James Potter that has been obsessed with her since the end of first year. But, looking up at the sky, Lily could forget about all that –she certainly tried, even as tears streamed quietly down her face like they'd been doing all day. As the car pulled into the driveway, Lily looked up and saw a curtain shift. She hoped it was the wind, rather than her older sister, Petunia. _Oh well,_ thought Lilly, _maybe this summer will be better than the school year._

She tried not to let the roll of thunder feel too much like an omen; even if she didn't put any stock in Divination, that didn't mean she couldn't take a hint.

* * *

The beginning of Lily's summer passed quite unexpectedly, because to the Evans household, normal meant days filled with condescending remarks, furious and embarrassing reprimanding and tearful conversations with so much built up regret, rage and loss between two sisters that it became almost unbearable. This certainly dubbed as normal for the two Evans sisters, as relations between Lily and Petunia only continued to deteriorate. After the first two weeks of July passed, Lily took to passing time at the neighbourhood park, like she used to when she was a child. Only this time, she was there all by herself.

On days that she couldn't bear the loneliness at the park, she'd stay at home and read a book to ignore the loneliness there. Lily was alone throughout the days, due to the long hours her parents kept–her mother was a nurse, her father a history Professor –and Petunia leaving first thing in the morning; she'd come down the stairs into the kitchen fully dressed, grabbing an apple on her way by, and, without any words to her family, leave to spend the day with Vernon.

Vernon Dursley, or Vermin as Lily calls him when Petunia wasn't nearby, was Petunia's boyfriend of five months, two weeks, and three days –Petunia had taken to bragging about her exploits in the letters their mother forced each sister to write, and she ridiculed and taunted her sister whenever she had something that Lily didn't. In this case, that just so happened to be a boyfriend. Vernon was a beefy blond 18 year old, with very little neck and a nose that was constantly turned upwards in distaste. One could always count on Vermin to have something negative to say when Petunia invited him for supper. On those occasions, when the young couple were not in the room, Lily and her parents would discuss rather hopefully the possibility of a breakup rather than a proposal. It seemed that one night, Petunia heard Lily say so, as Vernon was then invited over for dinner every night for the following week.

Briefly, Lily considered inviting Severus to the park, as she used to, if only for a break from the constant loneliness that followed her everywhere. But she reminded herself that things had changed between them, and that some things could never be forgiven. She told him as much, when one day, he surprised her at the park and had begged for her forgiveness. She left him standing there, staring after her, and went home. She preferred even the empty house to her looking at Snape, even as both left her feeling drained and weary.

 **Please review and let me know what you think, especially if you have any ideas- I'm all ears. Cheers!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Please don't forget to review!**

 **Disclaimer: I'm flattered, but no, I am not J.K. Rowling.**

 **Chapter 2**

 _Everything shatters when it rains, everything tumbles when the earth shakes and everything's burned, when a heart breaks. Hope is one emotion that will tear you apart. It will lead you on, and break away, leaving you defeated and stranded when you were perfectly fine before. Before you were given hope, you were closer to accepting the horrid truth. When people say you can stand tall and conquer everything, it's just a lie. Hope is worse than feeling rage and terror, for it causes pain everywhere when it does not live up to expectation, and it is undefeated. All things may come to an end in such a cruel world, and those who accept this early in life don't get brought down so fast. But if hope comes through with it's promises, it is the most wonderful thing in the world._

* * *

James Potter spent the train ride from Hogsmeade like all the others; surrounded by his friends, in his seat by the window, in their typical compartment, the very last car on the train. This specific compartment has always been theirs, ever since they claimed it at the end of their first year, and his seat had yet to change. When the four first year boys had claimed this compartment at the end of their first year, they decided that seeing as they would be friends forever, they needed something to mark the compartment with –and did so over the door with a lightning bolt-shaped mark, in the hopes that it would always represent their energetic personalities. Four years later, they were on their way home from their fifth year at Hogwarts and were the most notorious pranksters the school for witches and wizards had ever seen; and as that really is saying something, everyone's pretty sure they more than lived up to said expectation.

But today, James was not in the mood to do any planning for ways to live up their reputation, which happened to be exactly what his friends were doing around him. While reminiscing over past pranks, reliving their annual end of the year prank, and already starting to plan their return of the year prank for September, James did not join his friends. Instead, he alternated between staring at the lightning bolt mark, outside the window and at his friends. While James laughed when he knew he should, and prompted the story-telling as needed, his mind was elsewhere the whole time. His mind was on _her_ , as it had been since the day of their Defense O.W.L. exam.

He couldn't believe that Lily had taken _Snivellus's_ side in this. After everything that little creep did, Evans would have to be blind not to notice the obsessive adoration with which she was treated. James had no idea how Lily could stand Snape's massive crush on her and ridicule him for his. _I mean,_ he thought, _it's not as if I go around calling her a- a -_

'Like you're any better, Prongs?' asked Remus. Apparently, at some point, James started muttering his rant rather than thinking it, and loud enough to the point that Remus, who sat right across from him as usual, could hear every word. 'You bully her best friend. Or at least someone who _was_ her best friend.' Remus added, with a hint of sympathy. The other three winced at this, recalling the painful moment and pitying Lily, for what her supposed best friend had called her, even knowing that she'd hate having anyone's pity –especially theirs –directed towards her.

'Oi, Prongs, you just need to find yourself another girl to fret over this summer.' contributed Peter Pettigrew. 'Let Lily realize what she's missing out on, and have some fun in the meantime, right?' laughed Peter, with James finding his optimistic view on the situation to be irritating; after being obsessed with the same girl for four years, even though he knew that she despised him, he'd tried nearly everything to get over her.

It was because of this that James didn't join in with the laughter, instead giving a small smirk and going back to staring out the window. Remus didn't laugh either, but rather regarded James contemplatively. James waited until they had all resumed their conversation –Remus included –before going back to his train of thought, and he spent the rest of the ride doing as such.

After getting off of the train at King's Cross, James could've sworn he saw a redhead, his favourite redhead, wiping her cheek with her head bowed, hurrying across the platform to her parents. With his heart residing somewhere in his kidneys after seeing the teary expression of Lily, he studied the Evans family and was not surprised that Lily's sister was nowhere to be found, even after not seeing her sister since Christmas; Petunia Evans made her younger sister's home life hell, and as such, James often found himself clenching his fists and biting his tongue whenever he saw her –not that Lily ever really complained about her, at least not to him, but he'd been friends with Marlene McKinnon, Lily's best friend in Gryffindor, since they were little and Marly'd mentioned certain things throughout the years. He knew that there would soon be more tears falling from Lily's eyes because of her sister, and the helplessness he felt because of it did not reason well with him.

* * *

The following morning had James walking into the kitchen to see his parents sitting down to the table, which was laden with breakfast foods. Pouring everyone a cup of tea and grabbing a bagel, James joined his family.

'So James, how many hours do we have you all to ourselves before we can expect to see your three friends, each laden with trunks, on our doorstep?' joked Mr. Potter, his crinkling eyes shining in laughter before widening in astonishment just as the doorbell rang.

'I'm guessing none.' Said James confusedly, as he rose from his seat and went to answer the door. 'Padfoot! Are you okay? What are you doing out of bed before noon?' As James joked and let his friend into the entrance way, he noticed a red mark across his face, along with a black eye and a bloody nose. Lowering his voice, James led Sirius up to his bedroom murmuring 'Sirius, what happened? Who did this?'

Waiting till James' bedroom door was firmly shut, Sirius went straight into his friend's bathroom, opened up the vanity cabinet that hung above the sink, and began dressing his wounds and taking many different healing potions, while James shifted uncomfortably in the center of the room. James had time to note that he was walking with a slight limp as he moved around before Sirius quietly called out from the bathroom, and said 'You know relations aren't well between my family and I.' He came out of the bathroom then, and looking at the ground, avoiding his friend's eye, he asked almost hopelessly, 'Do you think I could crash here for a little while until things calm down?'

James knew that he would be there for Sirius when his friend was willing to open up about what happened with his family, and that Sirius would not do so until he himself was ready. Tossing him a pair of fresh clothes and conjuring up Sirius' old bed from the last time he stayed, James smiled slightly and almost worriedly, it seemed, said 'You'll always have a bed here, Padfoot. You should know that by now. Don't ever think otherwise. Just let me go tell my parents.' And with that, James left Sirius, who was still looking at the ground by his feet, and pretended he didn't see his friend wipe away stray tears as he went back downstairs to his parents.


	3. Chapter 3

**For the record, the chapters will usually get longer later on throughout the story, unless the specific chapter is a filler.**

 **Disclaimer: I am not able to be the author of this amazing world, as I was not even alive when it was first created.**

 **Chapter 3**

As the summer progressed and Sirius became as much a part of the Potter household as James, the pair were nearly inseparable. It had taken a long conversation between Sirius and Mr. Potter in his study later that day, though Sirius eventually settled in and lost the haunted look in his eyes –James was so determined not to allow it to return that for the first two weeks of summer vacation, the boys would floo to London together and spend their days wandering around Diagon Alley, having fun and joking around.

The boys missed playing quidditch the most about school, even above pranking, flirting with girls (Sirius) and seeing Lily Evans (James). They often spent hours a day inside Quality Quidditch Supplies, their favourite store; which was shortly followed by Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Shop, of course. They would often be found in the quidditch shop, wandering around the aisles, tossing a quaffle between themselves, and having to dodge around the other customers to avoid hitting them; the last time they had hit a client, they'd been banned from the shop for a week, and so the boys deemed that hitting people with the quaffle was not a worthy cause.

Near the end of their second week of holidays, Sirius decided to secretly apply to a job offer from the Leaky Cauldron, the pub that hid the entrance to the alley from the muggle streets of London. It had only taken Sirius three days at the Potters to admit that he never wanted to go back to his family home at Grimmauld Place; James, of course, had known all along that Sirius would be staying for good, and he was just as ecstatic as he had been since he had asked his parents for their permission –even if Sirius had yet to admit to James the reasoning behind him leaving so suddenly. Seeing as Sirius was the most stubborn person that James had ever known, aside from himself and Lily, he was not surprised when Sirius refused to let the Potters provide everything for him, even if they considered each other family.

And so, as dramatically as possible –because he's Sirius, and he's rather fond of being an oxymoron (though James just calls him a moron) –he announced one morning that he was recently employed, before bolting from the table and leaving the Potters to their confusion.

'James…what have you done with Sirius?' hesitantly asked Mrs. Potter.

James, after a minute of repeatedly opening and closing his mouth, said 'I've no idea, Mum.'

Once James had gotten over the abrupt shock of the announcement, he followed Sirius upstairs with as many questions as he could fit in his head.

'Hey Padfoot!' he called, taking the stairs two at a time. 'What's up with the job, huh?' he asked, as he walked into their now-shared room and sat on one of the beds, unable to tell whose it was, given as both were as messy as they possibly could be. With quills, spare parchment, candy wrappers, pillows and maroon and navy patterned duvets on both, Mrs. Potter always exclaimed that it's a wonder that they could distinguish the beds from the rest of the room. The walls were a pale gray, and covered in photographs of the Marauders, the Potters and Lily Evans. There was an exceptional amount featuring James and Sirius, as well as Lily, who was with her roommates, or by herself so she didn't have to take one with James; she'd always been constantly worried what the wizard photograph would show James doing for the rest of their lives. She did however consent to taking one with Remus, who she happened to consider a friend, despite his Marauder status, and a copy of it was hung up on James' wall as well.

On the opposite wall to the beds, framed by red drapes, was a huge bay-window that looked out onto the Potters' private Quidditch Pitch. On the right, there was a large fireplace that took up most of the wall, leaving room for two huge closets, one on either side and both full with clothes belonging to each boy. The fireplace was stone-tiled and framed by two worn brown leather loveseats, facing each other with a coffee table between them. The door to the bathroom was on the opposite side of the room, along with a large desk and all of James' many wooden bookshelves, all of which were packed to the brim. He had maroon rugs covering most of the wood flooring, but that did not always keep the chill off of the feet during the colder months. There were currently two beds set up along one wall, both of which were on the same wall as the hallway door and each bed sported their Hogwarts trunks at the foot, currently stuffed with various odds and ends, such as candy, school bags, and various letters written over the course of the school year.

Walking in, James could hear Sirius inside his own closet, attempting to figure out which trousers to pull on. When he came out, he was looking rather panicked, clad in only a pair of black jeans, his pale and toned chest glimmering with nervous sweat.

Sirius flopped onto his bed, rather noisily, and wailed, 'Prongs, you have to help me! I have nothing to wear and I can't afford to be late! How do people handle not having a uniform to wear everyday? It makes life so much simpler.'

James, chuckling this time, repeated his question after handing Sirius a black and gray stripped t-shirt. 'What's up with the job?'

After pulling the t-shirt on and fiddling with the collar, Sirius mumbled some sort of response.

'Come again?' inquired James.

'I can't always be dependent on you and your family. I need to find some way to manage buying all of my school supplies for next summer,' the boys had already done all of their shopping for their next year, as James liked to go over his Transfiguration textbook in August. 'Not to mention everything I'll need for after Hogwarts. We graduate in two years! And I'm so bloody broke I wouldn't know how to survive the first month on my own. I need the money, and I've already been a burden on one family enough in my lifetime. I don't want to be a burden on someone ever again.' He finished quietly.

James walked over to him and pulled him into a bear hug. 'That's not possible, Padfoot. You know that.' He whispered, pretending not to feel the death grip that was holding onto him.

Sirius winced while he pictured the hug as a lifeline, keeping him alive, but always a heavy burden on everyone he cared about.

'C'mon, let's get you to work so that I can have a good laugh at you, yeah?' James asked, leading Sirius over to the fireplace. He stepped in and in a flash of green light, he disappeared, knowing that he would soon be followed by Sirius, now and forever.

* * *

While Sirius worked, James took to wandering Diagon Alley by himself. He would go back to the pub on Sirius' breaks, and sometimes he'd stay to chat for a time afterwards, grabbing a butterbeer as he did so. But most often, he was alone.

That is, until he ran into Lily Evans, who happened to be escaping Snape at the park and the silence at home, and so was looking for a little company. She just wasn't looking for _James Potter's_ company. ' _Figures.'_ she muttered to herself just as he started calling her name.

'What are you doing here, Evans?' James asked, grinning broadly. _Maybe she found out I've been here all week and was hoping to run into me!_ He thought to himself.

 _Great. Just because Remus told me he's been here all week, now he's probably thinking I wanted to run into him!_ Lily groaned to herself. 'Wipe that smirk off your face, Potter. I'm meeting up with Alice, Dorcas and Marlene at Fortescue's. Sorry, no guys allowed.'

'Aha! So you noticed I'm a guy! Well, that's a step in the right direction anyways –much better than a toerag. And it's not as if you had a choice in the matter or not, but I was already headed to the ice cream shop before I ran into you. Seeing as I'm famished, it's highly unlikely that I'll be going anywhere else.' James spoke with a smile that irritated Lily constantly; it was the one that he would wear when in public, instead of the one he saved for a friend, especially when they made a joke.

Lily had lost count how many freckles he had, but she knew that when he smiled the real smile, they all appeared, more brilliantly visible than what was ordinary. It unnerved her continuously that she noticed such things about him, when her only opinion on him was supposed to be that he was an irritating, shallow prick and nothing else.

As if he was sensing her confusing thoughts, James beamed at her as he opened the door to the ice cream parlour. Seeing the three other girls already seated at a table, James took Lily's order and then went to the counter to place it while she sat down. Two minutes later, James set down her chocolate milkshake and his own vanilla one and pulled up a chair.

Lily had known as soon as she had walked in that she would not be getting out of the inquiries of her friends that would be following the next week, as to why she had come in with James and why he had paid for her. It took her only a moment to realize this, but as soon as she did, she couldn't quite quell the blush that sprung up over her cheeks; nor the small, satisfied smile either.

 **Thank you all so much for those that have gone to the trouble of adding my story to their favourites/alerts, it really means a lot to me! Make sure to send me a review, it helps to keep me motivated. Cheers!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: As much as I love Remus and Sirius, both they and their world are not my own creations.**

 **Chapter 4**

 _Underneath oceans, lakes and rivers, the water churns, distorting and reshaping the image to fit its own needs. The darkness is no better, preferring to hide within itself in a child's bedroom wardrobe, or in the space between the basement light switch and the corridor in the hall. Underwater, every colour becomes a different shade than what it is meant to be, and when you shine the light on something, it may no longer be recognizable from what it led you to see in the dark. It hides in the darkness and the silence, where no one can see, where no one can hate. Everyone tells you to hide in plain sight, but when you do that, you feel exposed. So you prefer to hide in the water and the dark. You would prefer to not see the burdens that your mind convinces you that you inflict on everyone else for being who you are, not realizing that everyone sees you for who you are and loves you for it regardless. When you hide who you are, you fight with yourself daily. You feel like a part of yourself is missing. No matter the reason, not being able to show your true self is painful for anyone that is forced to do so. It is human nature to be afraid, but it's brilliant to be unique. It is perfect to accept your differences, and it feels even more so when you show it._

* * *

Remus had always been fond of silence, finding it to be one of the few things that can calm a racing heart, a churning stomach, a reeling head. Because of his fondness for quiet, he sometimes had absolutely no idea why he spent his time around the other Marauders; on most nights, it wouldn't be until little after two in the morning that the Marauders would make their way up to bed from the common room, even if it was a school night.

However, once James and Lily were halfway into their milkshakes, Remus walked into the shop and joined the group of girls and James at their table, with an order of his own. He said that since all of his friends would be there, he wouldn't want to miss out on the fun and that an afternoon spent out of his own quiet house seemed much more pleasant that the alternative; Lily could relate.

James, however, knew him too well for him to get away with that excuse. It was because of this, he knew, that Remus refused to meet his eye.

It was this final action that had James developing his own theory. He figured that it was more to calm the two of them down, should any arguments arise, rather than to escape the silence waiting for him at home. Having a tendency to participate in lengthy debates whenever they were near in proximity with each other, arguments between James and Lily could get quite loud, and could go on for days. They would stop being funny after the second day to all who took part, both participants being extremely competitive, but neither Lily nor James had a clue as to the reason their friends would still find their spats adorable.

The likelihood of an argument –more commonly known as feud –between them is always dependent upon certain instances. For example, if another guy were to so much as admire Lily's handwriting, James would develop a foul mood. In such a state of mind, he would make some horrible decisions, most often of which turned out to make some sort of remark to Lily. She would then retaliate with her own remarks, for a girl who'd be at least a year older would've just brushed past, managing to hike her skirts up to her thighs as she did so, or brush her hair off her shoulder so that it would reveal a full figure, trying to catch James' eye without anyone else noticing – which would often include James himself, not that Lily paid any attention to him in these circumstances. In fact, she often used these situations to prove to herself that James only wanted what he couldn't have, since she was unable to come up with another reason for deserving so much attention from him, thusly deciding that this was all a game to him; Lily was never fond of loosing.

Their record so far, with the same topic, was achieved in their fourth year after a particular thought-provoking History of Magic class during which Lily had sat beside Caradoc Dearborn, a rather attractive looking Hufflepuff in their year, and so James had sat himself beside a Hufflepuff, Selena Abbott -the most flirtatious female in their year. It had taken twelve days and fourteen hours before James had set aside his ego and went to Lily to apologize. Even then, however, it wasn't because he thought she was in the right, which is what she still believed, but rather as James realized that he's rubbish in potions and desperately needed help with his homework; Remus was in the Hospital Wing and was therefore unavailable, though he wouldn't have helped him anyways.

Now in the shop, Lily seemed to notice the questioning glances that James was sending out, with Remus carefully avoiding his eye. She then caught on to what James had assumed the real reason that Remus was here, and why today was a special occasion where fighting was not the best idea.

The way things had ended at the end of last year's term came rushing up to Lily, leaving her slightly dizzy. The memory of that day would be there waiting for her every time she closed her eyes. It pained her, but not as much as Snape did when she realized that she was still hoping that he'd go back to being the boy that she had called a friend, and even more so when she realized he never would. It had taken that day for her to realize that he was a lost cause, and that all traces of her best friend since she was nine were gone. She did not, however, blame James, shockingly as it was –she'd usually go about blaming him for everything, whether it was his fault or not.

As soon as the two realized their friend's motives for coming, there was a brief moment of awkwardness, thankfully broken by James.

'What do you lot say to bringing this to the leaky cauldron? We can grab some butterbeers and say hullo to Sirius.' Interrupted James. Lily breathed a sigh of relief that only James seemed to understand as the group all nodded and all five of them made their way up the street to the pub. On the way there, James and Lily fell a little ways behind, giving James the perfect opportunity to do what he has felt he had to do, ever since he saw the same redheaded girl wipe away tears on the platform.

'Lily…' started James awkwardly, just barely loud enough for her to hear. 'I really need to apologize to you, and I would've done it sooner, I swear, it's just that Remus –well, he might've threatened to use chains to restrain me in the compartment on the train, as soon as I mentioned going to find you. But I really need to tell you how awful I feel and that I'm terribly sorry that you lost your best mate because I was _bored_.' James said, looking sullen and so remorseful that Lily decided, for once, to take pity on him.

'Not sure that what happened is entirely your fault, to be honest,' She started, ignoring his shocked expression as her eyes shifted about uneasily. 'But either way, you weren't the one I was really upset with. I've been called a mudblood before, and last year, I was hearing that term thrown at me almost daily- ironically though, none of the Marauders were ever around when they did so.' With a half-hearted chuckle, Lily adverted her eyes, narrowly missing James clenching his fists and tense posture, and continued. 'Sev's been different ever since we started Hogwarts, ever since he started hanging around with his house mates.' Ignoring the boy beside her, she blundered on. 'I mean, I still saw him as the little boy I grew up with, but I didn't want to see how much he's changed. We'd met before Hogwarts and he was the one who told me I was a witch. He'd been my best friend ever since. He was there when things started going bad with Petunia; we were only nine then.' She added with a slight hitch in her small voice. She took a moment to compose herself, and she let out a great sigh, turning to meet his eye once again. 'Sorry, I'm not usually that emotional.'

'Loosing your best friend, Evans, it's not something everyone can handle. I don't know what I'd do without the other Marauders, I doubt I'd survive the night. Change is always hard, but you have people you can rely on. You've got Marlene, and Dorcas, and Alice, and Remus.' _And me_. He added silently, assuming that that particular comment would be most unhelpful while he was trying to apologize. 'And Hogwarts is pretty huge you know. I'm sure you could avoid him until you're ready, but that doesn't really seem like your style.' With a chuckle at the redhead, he opened the door to the pub and walked over to the bar with her in tow. He continued while they were waiting for everyone's orders. 'Besides, your problems read out like one of those hand lotion muggle programs that are always on that picture box-thing, with the girl going to the first guy that will listen, and then he'll give her some amazing advice; only, without the dancing and signing thrown in.' He said, with one of those sincere smiles that always gave Lily uncomfortable butterflies in her stomach; she wished she could just call an exterminator for them and be done with it.

Hiding the blush creeping up on her, she let her hair cover her face as she started teasing him. 'Hand cream muggle shows? Do you mean a soap opera?' she said with a chuckle. Then, realizing what he meant, cried in indignation 'Hey! My life is not some melodrama soap, where the heroine is some weak pansy. When have you ever watched a soap, Potter? Plus, I don't sing!'

'Oh, Evans, I'm sure you have a lovely signing voice; all the proof in there in your shrieks! And my mum got one of those moving picture screens for my parent's 40th wedding anniversary last year. She loves those shows. Dad got it all specially set up for her so that the magic didn't interfere with any of the elektrecal thingys.'

After a short, awkward pause, Lily threw Potter a bone. 'If you stop hexing people who don't deserve it, _including_ Slytherins, I might just agree to stop calling you worse than the Giant Squid- but only because you aren't as slimy.'

They were laughing so hard that James could only sputter a 'Thanks Evans.' Still laughing, Lily went to their table, her narrow hips swaying, her arms loaded with butterbeers and a bright smile on her face. It was her first real smile of the summer.

* * *

After spending the afternoon with Alice, Dorcas, Marlene, Remus, James, and Sirius, who came over to their table during his breaks, Lily went home feeling very perplexed. She didn't have long to ponder these thoughts, mind you, for she had just taken off her coat when there was a knock on the door. Lily didn't even get the chance to open it, before it was thrown open, and in walked a smiling Marlene. _Damn_ , thought Lily, _I was hoping for some more time before this started._

'So.' Marlene said, with a huge grin breaking over most of her face, one which Lily found most irritating at the moment.

'Miss me already, Marls?' Lily said with a huff, a nervous smirk gracing her face. Closing the door after her friend had walked in and practically jumped onto the sofa in the next room, Lily walked over to her and sat down across from her on the couch, keeping that ridiculous grin plastered onto her face. The redhead tucked her feet up underneath her so that she could face the- still grinning- brunette. _Let's just get this over with._ She thought, voicing the sigh that followed her thoughts. Lily had just faced Marlene with an expectant face, when the door burst open, yet again, and in came Dorcas Meadowes. The blonde looked at Marlene with a proud smile as she went to sit on the floor, crossing her legs as she did so, staring expectantly at Lily, reminding her very strongly of a young child waiting for a story. Lily did not notice the third teenage girl, for she came in after Dorcas, and was the only visitor who closed the door and took the time to take off their shoes before joining the rest in the living room. Lily was looking quite overwhelmed as Alice Griffiths sat on the chaise, directly facing the couch, with the coffee table, and now apparently Dorcas, in between.

There was a silence, as everyone sat, staring at Lily, leaving the teen feeling very put-out as she kept on glancing between her friends' expectant faces and the door, hoping for someone who would actually save her rather than team up with her friends.

'Lily. _Spill_.' Growled Dorcas, with bright brown eyes that were twinkling in amusement, reminding her very much of their headmaster, Professor Dumbledore.

'What?' asked Lily shyly, looking at anywhere but her friends faces. She glanced anywhere she could in order to avoid their gazes, before she resolutely turned to face her friends once again. Steeling her resolve, she admitted 'Fine, fine. I know what you're all going on about and I get it…'

'Lily, after _last_ year we thought-' interrupted Marlene.

'That you would _never_ speak to him again-' intruded Dorcas.

'Only to find you, walking in, _with him_ -' contributed Alice.

'And then he went and _paid_ for you-' interrupted once again Marlene, gesturing frantically to ensure her point was made.

'I know! I know! I'm aware of the situation, alright? And it's not like you guys are helping! Nor are you letting me explain!' Lily barged in, steeling everyone with a withering glare. Even Marlene looked a little worried. Taking a deep breath, Lily continued, only finally explaining her side. 'I never meant to run into him, but I can't deny I knew that he was most likely going to be there. When we made plans to meet at the ice cream shop, I knew that Remus had mentioned that James had taken to the streets of Diagon Alley, what with Sirius working there over the summer and all, but I didn't want to let that ruin it for everyone else. So, it wasn't much of a surprise that we ran into each other, and as for him paying for me, that was only because I forgot to grab my wallet. I had just figured that I would bum some ice cream off of you guys, but of course none of you ordered my favourite.' She added with a slight nervous smirk.

They were all staring at the redhead, and Dorcas was making slight hand gestures to carry on. Marlene finally voiced what all of them were thinking: 'But what about what happened at the end of term, Lil? You swore that you would never talk to him again after what he did to Snape.'

Here Lily looked downwards before she continued, taking a slight pause before she started with the whole explanation yet again. 'I don't think I really blamed James for what happened between Snape and I. I was just mad that because of what he did, I had to finally accept the person that Severus was becoming. He was no longer the person that I grew up with, I just didn't want to see it. I was mad that I didn't realize it sooner, and I took it out on James. Not that James wasn't a bullying arse who deserved everything I sent him, but that day got out of hand. I've talked to Remus about it over these past few weeks, and James sounded really upset. Especially when Rem told me what he had been like on the train ride –apparently, he had felt just as rotten as I had. So, when he started apologizing to me today, I might've decided to cut him a little slack. I made him promise to stop hexing for no reason, and… I left it at that…' She finished lamely.

Taken aback by the long explanation, her friends could do nothing but stare at her for a few more moments. Suddenly, all hell broke loose.

'Oi! Griffiths! You owe me a galleon!' yelled Dorcas.

'Do not, Meadowes! She never said she was in love with him! The bet lasts until next Summer break, and you're just afraid that you're going to loose!' Alice shot back.

Meanwhile, Marlene had tackled Lily, jumping right onto her lap, with cries of horror at how Lily could've possibly been blaming herself for this, all the while congratulating her on turning to a more peaceful approach with James. 'Now we can actually hang around with the Marauders while you're around! I'm so glad we don't have to hide that from you anymore and maybe now you'll actually join us! You should _see_ what they're like at three o'clock in the morning, they just start harping on each other, and they're too wasted to pull off successful pranks, but _bloody hell_ , do they try! And-'

'HOLD UP!' shouted Lily, finally letting everything sink in around her. 'Alice. Dorcas. You guys were betting on _what_ exactly?' demanded a furious Lily, her face reddening with evidence of her famous temper.

The two girls in question, who were trying to make themselves invisible at the moment by shrinking into each other, admitted 'We were betting that you would admit to being in love with James before next summer holidays…' muttered Dorcas, avoiding the redhead's eyes.

As an added thought under her breath, she continued 'And I am _so_ going to win.' However, she was reduced to sputtering the last word, because Lily had just launched a throw pillow at her friend's face.

'I suggest you prepare to loose that bet, Meadowes.' Lily told her firmly. Turning to Marlene, she continued her little rant. 'What was that bit about you all sneaking off to spend time with the marauders?!'

'Oh, err, nothing really, I mean, it's not as if we do it every night, Lil!' said Marlene quickly, who was rather against the idea of getting a pillow to the face. She had had plenty of experience in the past with that, mostly due to her snide comments, and even when Lily was cracking up on the inside, her throws hurt. Remembering the painful memories, she blamed the Evans' parents for signing their daughter up for baseball every summer until their third year; the girl had quite the arm. It was a shame she didn't own a broom, she could've been the best beater Gryffindor had seen in years, aside from Black. Marlene resolved to have a talk with James about convincing Lily to try out for the quidditch team before resuming her train of thought, while sinking into the couch to better avoid the advancing redhead.

Joining in, Alice said 'Yeah, and it's more like every second, and on the weekends! Oh _shit_!' She swore, as Lily turned herself towards the blonde. Her only saviour was Remus, who decided at that moment to knock on the front door. For the third time that day, the door opened without consent, and Remus walked into the living room, placing his shoes by the door, his being one of the only pairs. It was because of this that he seemed so surprised to see all of the previous fifth year female Gryffindors, but it also might have something to do with the fact that aside from Lily, who still clutched the pillow and had a murderous gleam in her eye, everyone seemed petrified.

Until Remus asked 'uhhh, whaa- what's going on?', then they all seemed freed from their state of horror and thanked Remus profusely for saving them from Lily's wrath. They did, however, refrain from indicating what that wrath was about. Shortly after mouthing 'Later' to Remus, Dorcas got hit in the face with the pillow for the second time that day. _Must be a record, even I haven't gotten two hits in one day!_ Thought Marlene with pity _._


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I barely have enough time to write what little I do.**

 **Chapter 5**

 _When the tides turn, everyone clambers onto the beach to discover what has been left behind, cast away, or unwanted by the foaming and frothing sea. Excitedly, the children gather piles, claiming all that they can, before their competition can see all the amazing things that they've gathered. They take all that they're able into their arms, and run away to their homes, arms full. Some parents become upset with all of the garbage their children bring home, and thus the children have taken to smuggling their treasures into their bedroom through the window, with the help of a few trusted companions, but most parents just, remembering all of their own treasures from their own childhood, some of which are still in their own bedrooms. The parents can feel the nostalgia pouring off of each other, and choose to bask in its glow rather than return to adulthood, to the bills piling up on the table, to the ailing family member, or to the anger that is always waiting around the corner. Those that will choose to stay, for a moment, as a child, rather than an adult, might be only looking for a way out of responsibilities. They might look for a way that will leave them as care-free as before, a moment without burdens, just to be able to give their shoulders a rest. Their best advice to give anyone who bothers to ask is this; enjoy life while you are young, play and live, but take school seriously enough so that your life will only get better as you get older. For all, that way of life, the carefree, happy, untroubled life is not possible. For some, death, pain and suffering comes earlier, and no parent wishes to bear witness to this._

* * *

James was nauseatingly happy that evening. It was to the point that even his parents picked up on his good humour when they were rushing out of the fireplace, having just gotten home from the Ministry.

With his being the Head of the Aurors, Fleamont Potter kept late work hours, which were only becoming later and later as a certain Dark Wizard gained followers. His wife would often be occupied until later in the evenings as well, for she only got busier as an acting member on so many different committees. As both had such late work hours, Euphemia Potter would often wait the extra hour, catching up on paperwork, to leave with her husband.

It took but a moment for Euphemia and Fleamont Potter to be surrounded by their son after coming home that night, and even less time for them to realize that their son was behaving bizarrely. Mrs. Potter looked questioningly between her son –who was currently jumping around his father in circles, talking quickly enough for everyone to be unable to understand anything that he was saying –to Sirius, who looked slightly amused, but more so apprehensive than anything else.

'Sirius… what's wrong with James?' Mrs. Potter muttered under her breath.

'I've no idea, Mrs. Potter. Give me a minute.' He said with a determined gleam in his eye as he dragged the still jumping James up to their room and tossed him onto a bed.

On their way upstairs, neither of them hear the words shared between Mr. and Mrs. Potter.

'It's about a girl, isn't it?' Euphemia asked her husband.

'Most definitely.' Answer he, before continuing. 'I, for one, look forward to meeting her.' He added with a smile in his wife's direction, as they headed to the expansive kitchen to start on the supper that awaited them, prepared quite exquisitely by their son.

While the Potters did have a house elf in residence, they would not think of having poor old Twitch do the entirety of the cooking. They would ask him to help out for extravagant meals when they hosted, or for breakfasts when no one could even see straight because of how early it was, but Twitch was mainly employed to help out only with the cleaning, as both the Potter men were horrible with cleaning spells, and the Manor was much to big for one witch to tackle all by herself –even with magic. So instead, the Potters took it upon themselves to cook their meals, and taught James to do so as well –they had tried to do as much with Sirius, but he couldn't tell you the difference between a bread knife and a paring knife, and so was unquestionably hopeless in the kitchen. Mr. and Mrs. Potter hoped that James would be able to get through to him before he moved out; James had grown up to be the best cook out of them all, which they greatly appreciated when coming home from a long day at the office to a delicious meal already prepared.

'Let us hope that this is the one he's been pinning over since the end of first year. And maybe he'll finally shut up about that _Snivellus_ bloke as well.' Added Mrs. Potter, before shuddering at how often these past summers she's heard him talk about this girl, and the boy that always ends up in detention with the Marauders for duelling in the halls.

* * *

'Out with it.' Sirius told his best friend.

'I don't know what you're talking about.' Said James, bouncing his legs.

Sirius scrutinized James, looking from his big, goofy smile, the light flush covering his face, and his eyes, which were brilliantly lit.

Ever since the end of the year, James would become distracted a few times per day, with a faraway look in his eyes and a frown creasing his forehead. Today, however and ever since they had met up with their friends in Diagon Alley earlier that week, James has not stopped smiling, although he did space out more often than before. Sirius had a feeling he knew the reason for the sudden attitude shift; _Evans_.

'James. What in the bloody hell is up with you?' demanded Sirius with a sombre impression upon his face as he sat down on the edge of his own bed, facing his friend.

'She… She… She forgave me. I'd actually thought I'd ruined my shot with her, but _Lily Evans forgave me_!'

'Of course this is about Evans. She is the only bird that will _ever_ have this effect on you.' muttered Sirius, just loud enough for him to be heard, but James never reacted. Resolving himself to bring his friend back to himself, Sirius thought, _This is for you, Mrs. Potter._

'Prongs, mate' he said gently 'just because she forgave you for ruining her friendship with her best friend, which for the life of me I'll never know why, doesn't mean that she wants to go out with you.'

'Of course it doesn't, Padfoot! But at least this way, I can talk to her, get to know her. And she'll get to know me! She won't have Snivellus whispering in her ear and so I'm free to make my own impression. Even if its only as friends, I'll take being as close to her as she'll allow it. If only I can find a way, I suppose I shouldn't be asking her out every time I see her, but that might prove to be difficult, –'

 _This should be interesting_ … thought Sirius, as he tuned his friend out to start flipping through the assigned homework for their summer holidays. Even doing homework was better than hearing James going off about Lily, a little fact Sirius had learned back in second year.

* * *

It was only a few days later, nearing the middle of the second week in July, when Remus and Peter showed up at the Potter's, both laden with their trunks and belongings for the rest of the summer. At the beginning of the week, James and Sirius had run downstairs and thrown themselves at the feet of James' parents, begging for their friends to be allowed to stay for the rest of the summer.

'We're _bored_ , Dad! Pleeasee!?' begged James.

'Yes, come on, Mum! Pleasee?' persisted Sirius.

James paused, and with a wide smile on his face, he turned in his friend's direction. While Sirius did not notice what he had just said, for it sounded so natural to him, everyone else had. It might've been because of this that, with barely contained smiles, the Potters agreed to their two sons' pleading. For they did now, indeed, have two sons.

On the morning of the final two marauders' arrival, it had taken a substantial amount of less shouting on Mrs. Potter's part to get both her boys out of bed before ten that morning.

'Maybe we should've allowed this at the beginning of summer. Would've made things a hell of a lot easier.' She muttered to her husband as she sat down.

Mr. Potter, while turning the page on the Daily Prophet responded just as the boys were thumping down the stairs. 'Good luck after today getting all four of them up before noon.' He said with a chuckle.

The two boys had rung the bell at eleven, with their parents thanking the Potters profusely for their generosity before walking back down the driveway to disapparate.

Not only was it considered rude to apparate so close to one's home, it was also impossible when it came to Potter Manor. With Mr. Potter's position, they had taken many more safety precautions than a normal wizard would with the house, many of which were used on Hogwarts itself, including the Anti-Apparition Charm. Once they had brought Remus' broom to the broom shed outside –Remus had brought his own _Cleansweep 47_ , but Peter would be borrowing one of James' old ones, as his family could not afford one of their own –they all shouldered the two boys' luggage and brought it upstairs.

While Sirius conjured up the final missing two beds in their bedroom and James used an impressive and extremely complicated extension charm on the two closets, Remus and Peter both became quite comfy on the couches, talking to one another and catching up on their summers so far. They were joined by the other two, who both unceremoniously plopped themselves beside them. What had started out as a peaceful conversation turned amusing and extremely enjoyable as James left and came back two minutes later, arms loaded with sweets of all kinds and butterbeers after raiding his kitchen. They started planning pranks, ranging in various degrees of amusement, skill capabilities and effectiveness. Some were so far-fetched that the one who suggested them would get wrappers thrown at them and the un-wrapped and un-eaten sweets launched at their heads, with loud and care-free laughter ringing throughout the entire afternoon.

The Marauders were going all out for their reunion, with James bringing in a firewhiskey bottle that had escaped his parents' extensively charmed liquor cabinet in the late afternoon. Once something went in there, James would never be able to reach it. Not that that kept him from trying, of course.

His parents had told him that once he was old and mature enough to be able to identify the charm that was set on the cabinet and was able perform the counter-jinx, he would be allowed into the cabinet without _all that much_ fuss. He had yet to figure it out. It had become a challenge of sorts, one that a Gryffindor would be never be able to pass up, and for the first week of every vacation that he went home, he would try out all of the charms that he had learned in school. The Cabinet of Death had been its name ever since third year.

They continued to plan prank after prank, passing the bottle back and forth between them. They had just finalized their beginning of the year prank when Sirius had an idea.

Smiling mischiefly, Sirius was looking between his friends faces, hoping to be as dramatic as possible before he was forced to spill his guts. Sure enough, he had just turned to smile at James when Peter got up and sat on him.

'Oi, Wormtail! Get your fat arse off of me!'

'I won't be moving my beloved arse until you spill. You drank at least a third of that bottle, Padfoot. I'd be more worried of the pressure I'm putting on your bladder at this point.' Laughing with the others, Peter started squirming, causing Sirius to squeal.

'Okay! Okay! I'll tell. Just get off of me!' grunted Sirius. After having bolted to the bathroom, he only came back once they had all wiped the mirth from their eyes, smiling brilliantly once again. 'So, now that I've let the suspense build –' Began Sirius, with as much flair as one could put into a sentence when his fly was down.

'–Oi, Black. Shut up until you zip your fly back up, you prick.' interrupted Lupin, with everyone else sniggering behind hands.

'Shut up, Moony. Anyways, I had a brilliant idea.' Sirius asked, gazing at their impatient faces with a bright smile on his own. 'We should throw a party.' At the carefully blank expression on Remus' face, the worried one on James' and the confused one on Peter's, he continued. 'Not everyone will be invited, in fact I was thinking only the other Gryffindors in our year…' and with this, he stared pointedly at James, and smirked when he saw his friend's growing smile and twinkling eyes at that comment.

Here, James interrupted, catching onto what his friend was hinting at and throwing in some of his own ideas. 'We could convince my parents to go out for the night, and give us permission to have a few friends over-and I'm sure I could find some more firewiskey before it goes into the _Cabinet Of Death._ We could arrange for everyone to crash here, so that it doesn't matter how much we all drink and –' he added, rather excitedly

'And you two are bloody brilliant.' Interjected Peter. 'James, you could whip up some food since you're such an amazing cook, and-'

'Exactly what I was thinking, Wormtail!' interjected Sirius.

Remus was the only one who remained silent throughout the initial planning, and only when he was question as to whether or not he had any ideas did he explain.

'I'm just worried that Lily will bite my head off when I invite her.'

'Why do you get to be the one to invite her?' whined James.

'Because if _you_ invite her, she will _definitely_ bite your head off.' Black told him with a bark-like laugh. 'Especially if you whine like that when you ask her.' He added, pointedly meeting his friend's eye.

'And we don't want her hearing it from one of her friends, because then she'll think that she's unwanted.' Added Peter.

'Maybe Remus _should_ invite her. At least he's too busy being gay with Sirius to bring another date, so Lily won't get the wrong idea.' James added as a thought, laughing loudly as he had to duck the boy trying to tackle him from across the coffee table. He completely ignored the shouts bouncing around the room of 'I'm not gay, you dunderhead!', and decidedly focused instead on hiding behind Peter, who was laughing so uncontrollably that he could be of no assistance to either one of them; he did manage to trip the both of them after falling to the ground, all of them landing on each other. Sirius was too busy trying to unstick his fly to bother paying them any attention, therefore missing an excuse to smack James upside the head.

Once all of the boys had settled down, they delegated the various tasks that each one would be responsible for. After deciding it would be held at Potter Manor that Friday, it left them with three days to get the rest organized. Lupin, the only boy that could successfully perform cleaning spells (he'd been folding his socks with magic since first year) would help Twitch with all the cleaning, refusing to let Mrs. Potter help at all. James would be cooking all of their meals for the week, as well as preparing the food for Friday. Sirius, being in the unique position of working at a pub, would be in charge of getting the firewhiskey –the Cabinet of Death was left alone, its door mocking James whenever he walked by –and Peter, the only one who could write as fancily as desired, was left in charge to make up the invitations. After all their fuss, the boys had agreed upon Remus handing Lily an invitation while he visited her later that week.

* * *

'Oi, Evans!' Remus called as he walked into Lily's home early on Wednesday morning. He went upstairs to her closed bedroom door and pounded on it until a bedraggled Lily opened her door to him and went back to lying down on her bed. As was their routine, Remus followed her in and sat down on her chaise, leaning back and appreciating the silence. Looking around her room, he couldn't see much. Opening her blinds, to much complaining on the part of a grumpy redhead that was burrowing her head under her covers, Remus was reminded strongly at that moment of James, who always did the same thing. _Bloody hell, they're perfect for each other._

Looking around her room, he was taken aback once again, between the similarities of James' bedroom and the ginger's, who had fallen back asleep a foot away from him. He took note of the medium grey walls, the navy blue and grey comforter thrown over the queen sized bed, with the dark wooden headboard against the far-side wall in the middle of the room and the wooden bookshelves that were filled with her favourite books on the wall on the left. The makeup vanity that doubled as a desk was on the wall directly to the left, littered with pens, quills, paper and parchment, and was surrounded by the two potted plants that Lily had brought in from the living room. The chaise was on the left-hand size of the bed, beside it was a small table that supported her currently empty owl cage. _Must be off delivering a letter to Marlene_. He supposed.

She had a wardrobe propped up beside her plants, and multiple framed photographs and paintings adorned her walls. None of her photographs moved, as it was a muggle residence, and so she had allowed a picture of her and James to be hung up among her other friends. Smiling, James was looking at Lily, who was captured in a time of story-telling, busy laughing and gesturing with her hands, both frozen with laughter lining every surface between the pair. He Suddenly, grumbling could be heard from the bed, and _something_ started moving.

'Morning, sourpuss, sleep well?' Remus asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes and a broad smile on his face.

'Shut up, Lupin. I think your Marauder is coming out.' Grumbled Lily, before heading downstairs to put the kettle on for tea, much to the amusement of her friend.

Lily didn't mind cooking. She would often help out around the kitchen, doing the prep work or making up a salad, while her sister cursed her from the next room over for being a kiss ass. However, Lily loved cooking breakfast. In her opinion, it was the best meal of the day. It was also the only one where her parents never forced them all to eat it together during the summer. Lily hated the "sister bonding time brunches" and the forced family suppers, even though they were happening a lot less recently, what with Petunia not coming in from being with Vernon until much later. The only problem with getting Lily to cook breakfast was getting the sleepy redhead out of bed to do so. Once she was finished with her tea, she would turn on the stove and start cracking eggs. When it was just herself in the mornings, as it often was, she would make herself an omelette –her parents left for work early in the mornings and Petunia was always gone to Vernon's before her sister got out of bed. And so, when Remus came over for the day, she went all out. Lily would make way too much food for two people, requiring her to send the leftovers home with Remus in a doggy bag.

Lily had a motherly streak that was not usually noticed, for she preferred the more subtle hints, as people, if any, picked up on it less. In contrast, whenever she saw her pale, scrawny and exhausted friend, she could not contain it and would smother him with food. By taking out muffins and bagels, making bacon and eggs, pieces of toast and more, she made sure that he didn't leave until he was positively stuffed. She made a thinner version of pancakes, crepes, for him and they were presented with a flourish and always topped with either fruit and whipped cream, or icing sugar and chocolate sauce for an extra kick when needed (she never mentioned that those always seemed necessary near the full moon, but Remus sometimes got the impression that she had noticed, which utterly chilled him to the bone). All of the food would be served with an assortment of teas, coffee and orange juice.

As after every breakfast, Remus started begging. 'Please Lil, you have to! Your talents are wasted here and look at me! I'm fading away without your amazing breakfasts'! Just move in for the summer, why don't you?'

'Remus, we've been over this how many times? Can't anyone else cook over there?' She asked, laughing as usual.

'Well, yes, most of the time. But the Potters' aren't morning people –especially James and Sirius –and they all have come to some sort of understanding that you need to be both awake and coherent to be cooking –probably because Sirius nearly burned the Manor down once, but I'm not certain.' He pleaded, with a small chuckle near the end.

'You know, Rem, it would be pretty pointless for me to do so, as I would murder Potter and Black in their sleep. Plus, I'm not coherent in the mornings either.' She said, pouring herself more caffeine before getting started with the mounds of dishes.

Laughing, Remus agreed, but added 'Lily, I am certain not only of your success, but that you would be able to do so even when they're awake.'

After a day spent laughing, talking, reading and eating, Remus handed Lily an envelope on his way out the door.

'What's this?' Lily looked questioningly between the envelope in her hand and Remus.

'Read it and find out.' responded Remus. Almost as an after thought, he added 'Please come, it'll be fun. ' He walked down the driveway, up the road and turned the corner without a second glance.

Lily watched him until he was no longer visible, his slight Marauder swagger not as strong as the others', and while the front door closed with a click, she went to the couch and beheld the envelope in her hands. After a moment's hesitation over Remus' intentions (and a quick plea that he didn't fancy her), she opened the folded parchment, and let out a sigh of relief when she read its contents.

The words, quite prettily written, said this:

 _Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs_

 _Cordially invite you to a celebration of summer, along with the previous fifth-year Gryffindors._

 _Hosted at Potter Manor this Friday, the 17th of July,_

 _From 7pm until 9 am_

 _Food and drinks –alcohol included –will be served_

 _(we hear the chef's great!)_

 _Guests are welcome to stay longer,_

 _Especially considering it is home to four of them_

Finally understanding what Marlene had been on about in her last letter, Lily laughed. 'This should be interesting' She said aloud, listening to it resonate in her empty house. She then started to wonder who James had gotten to write the invitations, as it was quite obvious that not only were they handwritten, but by a girl, going by the feminine handwriting. _Why does that bother me so much? He's James Potter for Merlin's sake._


	6. Chapter 6

**Send me a few words by review?**

 **Disclaimer: I am saddened at heart to tell you all that I am but a poor Canadian who cannot afford to buy herself more books. Everything, including my love, goes to JK Rowling.**

 **Without further ado,**

 **Chapter 6**

Whatever was said about Marlene McKinnon, she never backed down from a dare. No one really knew why, but most put it down as her unrelenting Gryffindor pride not permitting her. No matter, as whoever knew her could tell that she was, without a doubt, a Gryffindor –with or without her performing rambunctious actions to the amusement of herself and others.

Marlene was a rather stubborn brunette. She used her exceeding-wit and sarcasm for amusement, but also as an indicator of a foul mood. This left her often seemingly to be quite testy to people who didn't know her, but also as someone who came across as trustworthy and reliable.

Only her closest friends knew her well enough to be able to tell when a Slytherin's spiteful remark hit home, taunting her enough so that her clenched hands were trembling in their anger, just waiting to be released- either by using her wand or throwing a punch, Marlene often found that she didn't have a preference. Whichever obtained the best results, she'd say. It took a lot to get that rise out of her, and not many who did survived afterwards.

If it wasn't for Marlene standing up for herself, Sirius Black never had any qualms about helping her out. They never mentioned it to one another, but they both had similar reasons to hate the house of Slytherin, and both have been defending each other since their third year. Marlene, to anyone who didn't know her, was seen as a fearless beauty. To the marauders, she was seen as McKinnon, a girl –almost one of the guys –who you mess with at your own risk, but be prepared to suffer the consequences. To Black, she was a life support and a trusted friend. To Lily, she was not merely a pretty face, but a beautiful person and her best friend.

Marlene always spoke her mind, rather bluntly, which often had other girls flocking towards her for relationship advice or her opinion on one matter or another; they knew she'd tell it like it was. It didn't matter that she has been in a real relationship only a handful of times, and even then, each one barely lasted the month before she'd kick them to the curb –each with her reasons, all seeming perfectly validated in her opinion.

There was Caradoc Dearborn, a rather attractive Hufflepuff in their year, who had asked her out this past year; he had sat with Lily one History of Magic class the year before, trying to figure out a way to ask Marlene out, but became apprehensive of approaching them for months afterwards. This was possibly due to James Potter being jealous, with a confrontation ensuing –Caradoc learnt that day that he rather liked his hair the blonde/brown color that it was, and knew for a fact that he _didn't_ like his ears being on his arse.

Once he had gathered his wits and asked Marlene out the following year, he was very wary of the Marauders and their antics. It was because of his distrust, especially towards James and Sirius (who obviously helped James in his jealous pranking, as he always did), that was ultimately the last straw. McKinnon dumped his arse a week after he told her that she needed to stop associating with the two boys, claiming that he didn't understand the point of loyalty, and that her mates always come before herself.

It was because of this that Marlene was currently sitting on Lily's bed, trying to help the redhead choose an outfit for Potter's party, three days from then.

'Lily, c'mon! How hard can it be? Just pick one already!'

'But I have nothing to wear, Marls! What am I going to do?'

'Come on, Lils, time for some shopping.' Marlene got off her friend's bed and left the room, dragging the redhead by her wrist. It took her twenty seconds before they returned, if only so that Lily could throw on a shirt; they didn't think it would be wise to be going out in public in a bright blue bra.

'I'm sure James wouldn't mind if you wore _that_ to his party…' Marlene muttered impatiently, as they finally left the house, properly covered this time. In all honesty, Marlene was probably right.

Throughout the entire day, Marlene accompanied her friend into every store that they could find, muggle and wizard alike. In the end, they had laughed away all of their issues, ranted about everything from snobbish girls at school to the Marauders and their pranking tendencies, to why Lily actually wanted to go to the party in the first place, instead of staying at home with a good book –which is what she has done for any other party invite by Potter.

'Marlene, I think I'm going insane.'

'You think?' asked McKinnon, taking a minute from browsing the clothing on the racks, to stare in amazement at the pretty redheaded girl beside her. Avoiding the smack aimed at her shoulder, Marlene continued 'Why, what's up, Lils?'

'I'm just so confused, about Potter. I was so sure that I hated him, for years, but now… I mean look at me! I'm going to a party at his place, stressing about what I'm going to wear, even after what happened with Snape. What's wrong with me?' Lily finished, with a dramatic flair as she tossed her head back with a sigh.

'Do you hate James? All the time?' questioned her friend, a slight smile hidden beneath her cough.

'No, I don't think so.' She said thoughtfully. 'But I swear I don't fancy him!' she finished in a rush, with a pointed glare at her friend.

'That's not what I'm saying Lils.' She said patiently. 'I just think that you don't have him figured out as well as you thought. You know he's pranking a lot less? And what pranks he does pull, they're mostly harmless. He doesn't pick on people for fun anymore, except maybe for Snape.' Lily didn't look in a rush to interrupt anymore after Marlene added her last point, just thoughtful. McKinnon thought she might be able to get away with making one more point before getting something launched at her face. 'Besides, maybe once he's toned down his ego some more, you'll actually say yes to a date.' She said with a smile, no longer hiding behind a cough. She was not prepared for having to defend the rest of her body; Lily, using quick reflexes, managed to start poking her friend repeatedly in her sides with the clothes hanger.

'Ow! Ow! Stop it! Stop, Lily stop it, please!' she begged, laughing and squealing as she tried to run away.

 _It seems that Little Miss Marlene is ticklish…_ Lily thought as she started laughing at her friend. Taking pity on her, Lily changed the subject. 'So, I'm thinking this shirt, with these shorts and those shoes.' She said, lifting up two articles of clothing, whilst pointing at a pair of comfortable looking sandals over on the shoe rack.

'Perfect.' Said Marlene, smiling. They started laughing as they heard McKinnon's stomach growling, and went to pay before heading out in search of food.


	7. Chapter 7

**Please review, this chapter was really hard to get finished!**

 **Disclaimer: I really hate doing these, because it reminds me how utterly un-creative I am. Here it goes; HP is not mine.**

 **Chapter 7**

On the night of the party, all of the gryffindor girls were gathered in Alice's bedroom, as her parents weren't home and she didn't have any siblings. As much as the girls agreed that nothing was going to happen that night, none were all that enthusiastic when it came to explaining that to their parents. Mutually, they agreed on saying that they would be staying at the Meadowes residence for the night, keeping Dorcas company- not that they wouldn't be, of course, they just wouldn't be _staying_ at her house. It was a cheeky truth, as Alice's grandmother called them.

'Alice! Hurry up! I need to use the bathroom!' Dorcas hollered, pounding on the door until she heard the shower turn off. Opening the door, she saw Alice Griffiths step out of the bathroom, a towel covering her body and her hair up in another one.

'Knock yourself out, but there isn't any hot water left.' Alice said, chuckling as she bolted upstairs and away from her friend's reach. She closed the door to the spare bedroom - where the girls left all of their bags - just as the sounds of the water turning on and then off, a scream, and yells of 'You twerp!' could be heard from downstairs.

'What did I tell you?' Alice muttered, giggling as she finished towelling off and got dressed. Five minutes later, she emerged in a tight, short pair of dark jean shorts, a deep red coloured tank, and a gold locket dangling from her neck. Carrying her shoes, a pair of black strappy sandals, she joined her other friends in Dorcas' bedroom, belting out a laugh as she saw Dorcas glowering at her over the heads of their other friends from across the room.

'Have a nice shower, Dork?' Alice asked, a small smile on her lips and her shoulders shaking as she attempted to hold in her laughter, if only for her friend's benefit.

Lily and Marlene were looking very confused at their friends' antics, but attempted to tune them out as they finished getting ready for the party- they had been the first two people to shower, and as they had finished doing their makeup, they moved to their hair. Marlene doing a wavy-braided sort of look, Lily with messy curls.

'That nickname is only allowed to be used from friends. And _friends_ leave each other hot water!' Dorcas hollered at her, launching a pillow at Alice's face. Unfortunately, she did not have Lily's aim nor her force, and Alice was able to knock the pillow aside, despite her fits of laughter.

Setting down the hair curler, Lily got up and launched a pillow at both girls. Alice's laughing was interrupted as a shocked look appeared on her face, but once Lily demanded to know what was going on and Dorcas pointed to her, she couldn't stop laughing long enough to explain. After regaining her composure, Alice gave a brief explanation of what happened and watched, shocked, as Lily performed a cleaning spell on Dorcas, who had not been able to shower.

'Lily! That was underage magic, you could be expelled. Aren't you supposed to be a prefect?' asked a shocked Dorcas, examining her freshly washed and dried hair.

Marlene chuckled 'Dork, you're house is registered with the Ministry of Magic. They aren't able to tell who performed the magic, just where it was done. They won't spare it a second look at what Lily just did, because they just assume your parents did it. Trust me, I do it all the time at home.' Marlene said with a smile.

'If only James knew she had a rebellious side; he might propose then and there!' Alice said, a new fit of giggles following another pillow launched at her face.

'Shut up, loser.' Lily said, handing her a hairbrush, a look in her eyes that said she should stop talking and take the brush. The overall effect was unfortunately ruined however, by the small smile on her face.

* * *

The week leading up to the party was quite stressful for one of the Marauders. Thankfully, he was hidden, or rather placed, in the kitchen, and therefore out of anyone's way. The only problem was that he was in charge of doing all of the cooking, which meant that he was surrounded by knives while he was distracted. It was a good thing that his father, head of the department for Aurors in the Ministry, insisted upon all of them learning a few basic healing spells, otherwise it would've seemed as if James actually wanted to loose a couple fingers.

James wasn't known for being distractible. While playing Quidditch, it has so far been proving to be impossible to get his head out of the game, but it had never really been put to the test; Sirius has never really been seriously injured and Lily was not on the team –James has always wondered why she didn't join, he thought she flew brilliantly in their first year flying lesson, but of course he was not of the most biased opinion, nor had he seen her on one since.

After Moony had returned from Lily's, he had barely stepped a foot inside before James was pestering the poor werewolf for information.

'Well? How did it go? What did she say? Did she say she'd come? What were you two even doing all day, anyways?-'

'Whoa, Prongs, let me stop you there. I don't know what she said, I left before I got an answer.' James was halfway into opening his mouth to demand why the hell not when Remus continued. 'Don't you dare interrupt me, it's better this way, trust me.'

'How? How could it possible be better?'

While Remus knew that James had no intention of whining, that was, unfortunately, what was going on - and it had to stop. 'James. Stop. Go back to the kitchen, let me have a shower, and then I'll explain.'

Remus left his friend in the foyer, and while going up the wide staircase down the hall, he heard shouts of 'Well, why do you need a shower so bad? Remus? Remus!'

Laughing quietly to himself, he ran into the shared bedroom to gather a change of clothes. He saw Sirius and Peter lounging on their beds and, both having heard the entire conversation between Remus and James, smiled knowingly at each other, before Remus crossed the room and closed the door to the bathroom with a quiet _snap_.

After he towelled off, Remus quickly got dressed and ran a comb through his slightly shaggy, light brown hair. Looking into the mirror, Remus was able to see four, no five, scratch marks that covered his face thanks to his 'furry little problem' as James called it. Silently, Lupin would be the first to admit that he looked horrible, in need of a long sleep and a whole month of constant eating before he would look less sickly. _Maybe_ I _should move in with Lily_. He thought with a chuckle _._

Huffing at his reflection, Remus exited the bathroom, waved farewell to Sirius and Peter, who by now had moved on to the couches and were gossiping like thirteen year old girls- 'Nah, we're not together, she kisses like a slug' 'No way! But all the guys are drooling over her.' 'Doesn't mean she's any good, Wormtail.'- and went downstairs. He turned down the lightly painted hallway, filled with family portraits taken during multiple vacations or Christmas breaks, and entered the kitchen in search of his impatient friend.

The kitchen was all the way at the back of the house, facing the point where the quidditch pitch and the forest met in the middle, forming a large room shaped in an upside down 'v'. With multiple windows covering as much of the two exterior walls as possible, the kitchen was by far the brightest room in the house. Most of the wall space that was bare of windows was instead covered by cherry wooden cupboards, with a pale cream coloured marble countertop. There was an island in the middle of the room, with a large breakfast nook able to fit 6 nestled up in the corner covered by windows. Everything in the room was meant to be serene and calm, as the sun was bright enough when you haven't had your morning coffee yet, which was why the walls were painted a pale and subdued yellow.

'Remus!' pounced James. 'I'm sorry about the whining, but I really don't understand why you didn't wait for a response.' James said, taking a seat at the table, continuing with his cooking while still managing to stare Remus down.

'Do you want to come as needy? James, you ask her out every shot you get, and where does that get you? She says no, every bloody time; and I hate it, I hate seeing the look you get on your face every time it happens. This way, at least no one's trying to convince her, at least none that she can blame _you_ for, I can't speak for her friends, and we can see if she's actually willing to come and hang out with all of us, including the boy that she's been yelling at for more than five years.'

'Alright alright. Fair enough. Oh! That reminds me. We'll have to ask Twitch about making breakfast for all of us, I'll finally be off of kitchen duty.' James said in a wistful manner.

'I wouldn't stress to much about that, mate. I think I know someone who'd be quite fine with making enough breakfast to feed an army.' Remus said, chuckling.

* * *

On the night of the party, everyone was rushing. The boys were pushing Mr. and Mrs. Potter out the door, the girls were pushing each other out of the way for the shower, the boys rushing to get set up, the girls bickering over the showers while getting ready, the boys finally taking showers and throwing on shorts and t-shirts, with the odd comb going through the hair and then girls trying to figure out a way to not freeze their butts off during the broom ride over.

It was finally settled that Lily, in a pair of white-washed high-rise jean shorts and a flowing forest green tank top, matched with black sneakers and a silver charm around her neck, would perform a heating charm on everyone to keep the body heat inside, and would then remove it when they landed. Their _hair_ was a much bigger issue. Since Alice had gone with a French braid, she didn't really have to worry, nor did Lily, as, going with a messy-curl look anyways, she could easily tie her hair up in a ponytail for the ride, claiming that she didn't care that much regardless. Dorcas, with her long straight blonde hair, decided to tie it up in a ponytail for the ride as well, and Marlene just said ' _Sod it'_ when it came to her medium-length, wavy brown hair, in a very Sirius Black-way. She got on her broom with her hair down, knowing what it would look like from her Quidditch playing and deciding that that would look fine with her black shorts and her thin white t-shirt.

As Lily didn't own a broom of her own, which happened to be a main reason for her not playing on the Quidditch team, aside from Potter, she would be borrowing one of the Meadowes' for the night. Marlene, being the only girl who knew the directions to the Potter household from the back of her hand, would lead them all, Lily bringing up the rear to make sure none of them were seen.

Lily absolutely adored flying. While she had a slight fear of heights, this never applied to when she was soaring through the sky on a broom. Unable to enjoy the feeling of leaving all of your doubts and fears on the ground as often as she would've liked to, Lily made up for it now. She had volunteered to be in the back mainly so she could practice her spinning and drops- she loved seeing the ground rush up to her and feeling herself soaring away once again from all of her troubles. Flying left her head reeling and her face smiling, her mind calmer and her body freer. Often, before practice sessions started in the mornings in her First Year, Lily would ride out on one of the school's brooms, but you didn't get as much of an appreciation for the activity while you were constantly looking over your shoulder, praying you wouldn't be spotted, or trying to figure out what was throwing the ten year old broom off course once again.

As the much-too-short broom ride –in Lily's opinion anyways, as she was one of the two who really didn't care what happened to her hair when it came to flying –was coming to a close, Lily could see her friends start their descent. Dropping, aside from spinning through the air, was her favourite part of flying. And so, with as much excitement contained in her small body as possible, Lily went up even higher, waiting to see which house her friends landed in front of- this happened to be unnecessary, however, as there was but the one house, if you could call it that, within many miles.

And so, with a brilliant smile on her face, she dropped through the air, her laugh echoing all around, and causing more than one head to turn.

* * *

When James heard the brooms landing on his quidditch pitch, it was with a nervous smile that he, Sirius, Peter, Remus and Frank Longbottom- the other boy in their year, who had arrived yesterday to help with the preparations- went outside to greet the girls. When he saw only the three figures, his smile fell, thinking that Lily had not decided to come. Once he saw a fourth figure still circling up in the sky, from quite a height he had to confess, he realized that Marlene was showing off and that Lily must've already been on the ground. James did not stop his frenzied search for the redheaded girl, a broad smile covering most of his face, until he heard her laugh, a sound he would recognize anywhere, coming from far above, and saw her plummet, taking his heart with her.

He was reaching for his wand that he saw her friends pointing and cheering, but it wasn't until Remus put his hand on his arm, a silent command to not interfere, a broad smile covering his own face, that James actually paid attention as to what was going on.

Lily was still in control; she was doing this on purpose; Lily could fly better than most of the quidditch players on the field, and he never knew!

Feeling like someone had just jinxed him with a Cheering Charm, he watched as Lily got off her broom, her hair a gorgeous mess, with the most dazzling smile on her face he had ever seen.

 **Here is someone who seriously needs ideas for the next chapter! Seriously guys, I need Marauder pranks, questions and dare ideas to ask, anything! Even if I don't use it in the upcoming chapter, if I like the idea, I will include it somewhere down the line.** **R & R!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm so sorry it took me this long to update, I've been really busy and I didn't really know where to end it.**

 **Disclaimer: If I had to pick between becoming the author of this magical world or living in it, I would still be a tiny Canadian teenager with no income, but I would be content to my wildest dreams, as I'd make sure that I'd see Remus Sirius and James every day.**

 **A/N: Cheat, if anyone's unaware, is also known as Bullshit, and it's a card game where you are encouraged to bluff/cheat your way to victory by discarding all of your cards before your opponents. If someone thinks you're cheating (lying about what you discarded) they call Cheat/Bullshit and if they're right, you have to pick up the discard deck, and vice versa if they were wrong. (this ruins almost as many friendships as Uno, and they have the pickup four card in Uno …)**

 **Thank you to those that sent me reviews, ideas and compliments. I gushed over them all.**

 **Rockabillie: don't worry, that is definitely coming up, but first I want to establish a sense of friendship between the two so that Lily can feel the loss, almost. Know what I mean? I don't know what I'm talking about half the time, so I'll say this; It'll be coming, in a way that I'm hoping really won't be cliché, (I hate it when that happens). I just don't know when.**

 **Please don't forget to R &R, telling every Potterhead you know about it, and adding it to your favorites/alerts**

 **Chapter 8**

Once Lily landed and got off the broom, it took her awhile to be able to stop smiling. Even after performing the counter charm for the heating-jinx she had placed on all of the girls, she still had a bright smile covering most of her face. It covered even more after James walked over, a look of complete shock and delight on his face like she had never seen before.

'I was not expecting that Lily-Flower! Dude! You need to try out for the team!' exclaimed Sirius.

'Sirius, I don't think that name applies anymore. By the looks of it, she could kick your ass on a broom. And I was expecting nothing less from you, Lils.' Said Remus.

'Thanks, boys.' said Lily. 'What did you think James?' Lily asked, smiling secretly.

'I think you're amazing and you're completely in shit for never telling me. Brilliant job, Evans.' Said James attempting to look upset, but still unable to contain the shock and glee.

* * *

Later in the evening, after everyone had been given a tour of the gigantic Potter Manor, they all gathered around the kitchen eating, drinking and laughing, multiple discussions going on all over the room.

'I hate not finishing books! It's horrible. Lily, care to weigh in on this?' asked Remus, interrupting the redhead's heated conversation between James and Dorcas over quidditch.

'What's the point in even reading the book if you don't want to finish it?' asked Lily, turning away from the two, lifting her finger in the air, a silent command to hold that thought.

'Remus, didn't you bite Sirius one year for trying to take your book?' asked Alice with a laugh.

'Oh, I remember that! That was while Sirius and I were carrying Remus down the stairs for dinner and he only had one chapter left.' James said with a fond chuckle.

'Oi, you didn't even get bit! You were only carrying him, I was the one trying to wrestle the book from him!' cried Sirius indignantly.

'And _that_ is why you got bit!' smirked Remus.

After awhile, the group set up all of the food and brought their drinks into the family room. Lily laughed when she saw James pointing between her and the television set, as if to prove that he had been telling her the truth back in Diagon Alley.

'Listen up, fives. a ten is speaking' said Sirius Black with a look of delight covering his features as he ignored the protests coming from, mainly, the other Marauders.

'He doesn't look so much like a ten when he's been woken up at six in the morning after a night out with a girl whose name he doesn't even know' James pointed out to the laughter of all those unmentioned, while Sirius merely grimaced, knowing he had no defense aside from a 'At least I get some!'.

'Some what? Herpes?' teased Remus, coming to his friend's defense.

Lily wasn't quite sure what was going on, as she had never really hung out with the Marauders before, but taking the cue from her laughing friends, she realized that the boys weren't serious and laughed along with the rest.

' _Anyways_ , as I was saying, before you lot interrupted me-'

'You mean while you were calling us mediocre?' inquired Lily, earning her a high-five from James and Marlene. Sirius tried hiding how proud he was, mainly because her sass had been directed at him, but was unable to do so. 'Shut up, Evans. We should play _my_ version of cheat.' The girls looked intrigued, if not a little wary, whereas the guys merely looked terrified. They had already played before and James shuddered at all of the things he had revealed at the end of that game. 'Do we have to? That version is dangerous.' James shuddered once again, piquing Lily's interest. _There seems to be a story there…_

' _Scared_ , Potter?' teased Lily. 'How do you play, Black?'

'Alright, so, the aim is to get rid of all your cards by playing them to a discard pile. Since cards are played face down, it gives players the option to lie about the cards they are playing, but if the lie is exposed they must pick up the pile. My version, is that on top of being able to lie, you can cheat by using magic and any other means necessary, but if you have to pick up the discard pile, you have to take a shot. The amount of shots increase for the amount of times you've picked up the pile. So if you've picked up the pile seven times, you have to take seven shots.' Explained Sirius excitedly.

'The last time we played, by the end, James was doing shots by the dozen.' Remus patted a wincing James as he said that, muffling his laughter as he did so.

'Seriously, Potter? Your game's weak!' laughed Dorcas.

Remus, Peter, Frank and the girls nodded their willingness to play, and James reluctantly agreed as well. Sirius dealt up the cards, talking away as he did so.

'I can't wait for you guys to see drunk James Potter. When Marlene, Alice and Dorcas are around, he doesn't usually drink as much as he normally would- probably so he doesn't make that much of an idiot of himself in fear that the girls would tell Ginger- but that's only because we don't play these games. He gets wasted every time. It's hilarious.' Laughed Sirius. The Marauders and Frank, who actually spent a lot of time hanging around them all in their dormitory and in the common room, started sharing stories of drunken James throughout the years, much to their friend's dismay.

'In fourth year, -' started Remus, already chuckling.

'No. Not this one! That's not fair, Remus.' Protested James. He then sat there, pouting, or rather trying to, as his eyes twinkled with merriment as he remembered his own take of the story, while Remus continued on with his story. His pouting only ceased when Lily went over and sat beside him, patting his hand in comfort. In all honesty, Lily did not know why she had felt so inclined to move, only that with his bottom lip pulled down his face, she had to do something so that she would no longer be facing him. She didn't want to think about what would've happened if she hadn't moved, but pretended that her only motive was to hear Remus better, who was now on her right side, instead of comforting the pouting boy seated on her left.

The rest of the group pretended not to notice all of this while James and Lily were aware of everyone but they still managed to share discreet looks of wonder and glee without the pair picking up on them. They also had to hide their smiles, and some did so better than others, mainly everyone verses Alice and Peter, neither of whom were particularly good liars. (The Marauders had to be careful with what they told Peter to say when it was his job to cover for them during a prank, and therefore resorted to using him mostly for spying instead.)

' - I think this was his first time drinking, but, anyways, he did _not_ handle his booze well. We had all gathered around the fire in the common room, around three o'clock on a Sunday night, rather a Monday morning, I guess, and we started playing a game of exploding snap. At first, once the cards started exploding all over the place, James started freaking out, thinking the fire was going to explode. He started spitting at it, trying to put it out, and then he- he-' Remus was unable to finish his story, as he dissolved into a fit of giggles. He might've already consumed a shots of firewhiskey, however he was adamant that there were no effects on him whatsoever. Therefore, Frank picked up the torch, continuing the story for the werewolf, who had fallen to the floor in his fit of laughter. 'And then he got the _brilliant_ idea to put it out with water. The only problem with his genius plan was that he was too drunk to realize the difference between water and tequila – Muggle version of firewhiskey – and started dumping three quarters of his bottle, the one that he had previously been drinking right from the spout of, before any of us realized what he was doing. By that time, the only thing we could do was shove the table away and have Sirius tackle James to the floor, otherwise he might've set both Gryffindor tower and himself on fire.' Stated Frank.

'That's not even the worst part!' interjected Peter 'Afterwards, he got all pouty, (much like he was before Evans here went to comfort the cry baby) demanding that whoever drank the three quarters of his tequila had better fess up and give him their drink, because he was feeling "rather thirsty and could use a nice cool drink." . He was so hung over that he couldn't even bear to flirt with Evans because he was so focused on not being ill all over the corridors.' Peter finished with a laugh, while James just humphed and asked when they could actually start playing the game, rather than continue their own, twisted version of bullying.

At the end of the first round, Lily was amazed at the amount of cheating that went on during that game. Apparently, Dorcas knew the game by the American name, Bullshit, as that was what she would yell while pointing at who she assumed was the offender because, apparently, she was quite competitive.

Sirius was almost going out of his way to cheat, if only for the booze, as there was no way he could be so good at pranking and yet leave everyone laughing and immediately pointing at him after he put cards down, his cheating evident in the spell he used or rather the careful way in which he put his cards down (he likes to try to smuggle three or four extra cards in).

The girls soon realized how competitive each one was, as Lily went out of her way to not cheat, opting to make it look like she cheated, and yet was nearly undetectable when she actually did. James and Peter fell for it nearly every time, and Sirius would always be the only one to call her out whenever she actually cheated, which led her to believe that he wasn't as drunk as he acted and that that was merely Sirius letting loose and having fun.

All the other Marauders were greatly enjoying themselves as well, and Lily found that as long as it wasn't at anyone else's extent, she quite enjoyed hanging around them.

Alice was almost as hopeless as Sirius, only Lily knew that it wasn't on purpose. The girl had a rubbish poker face, and would fidget after every hand in which she cheated. Frank knew her too well as well, as whenever Lily hadn't been paying attention, he would be the only other person to call his girlfriend out.

Marlene was almost as good as Lily was, having drunk only five shots to Lily's four by the time the game was over.

James wasn't the worst, not when compared to Alice, but he still ended up taking nine shots, only one of them being intentional. The others managed to stay in the middle, but it was debated as to who the winner was. They never ended up discarding all of their cards when they decided on moving onto another game, and so it was debated as to what was the ultimate goal in that version of the game- and therefore, who had won- : Taking the most shots, Sirius, or the least, Lily.

Mutually, after much debate over the winner, Lily was congratulated by being ordered to take five more shots. Once she had finally caught up with the drinking, surprising everyone with her ability to withhold her alcohol - the girl wasn't even tipsy! - the group decided to leave the cards alone and they all moved to the family room.

Some settled on the various loveseats and couches that were arranged in a sort of L shape around the large room, but Lily and James both sat on the floor, leaning up against the wall to better face their friends. (Remus would go on to describe to friends and family in the future that it was like they gravitated towards each other from the start, earning him a smile from James and a whack from Lily.)

The group of friends decided to play Never Have I Ever, a drinking game where one person makes a statement of something that they have never done, and anyone who has must take a drink- it usually resulted in Sirius being extremely hung over the next morning, James only a little better.

'Alright. As the victor, Lily goes first.' Announced Remus, handing Lily a bottle from where she sat on the floor.

'Ok, never have I ever… skipped class-without having a good reason.' Sirius made a snide remark, asking what was her definition of a valid reason, but she whacked him with the pillow by her hand before he had the chance to wink at her properly. He went on to demand retribution, by tackling her and beating her with a pillow. He didn't get many hits in, as Lily soon flipped him over and abandoned the pillow, resulting to just punching him in the sides. James started tickling him, if only because Sirius had kicked him in the head when he went to tackle Lily. After Sirius was back in his rightful spot, on the other side of the room, Lily's statement earned more sarcastic remarks from the entire group, as everyone aside from Dorcas, who happened to be quite studious, took a drink. Right next to her, it was James' turn.

'Never have I ever been in a muggle theatre performance.' James declared, laughter in his eyes as both Remus and Peter shamelessly took a drink. They simply blamed their mothers, who were quite close to each other themselves, and both of whom enjoyed having their houses to themselves far too much for women with teenage boys. To all of their amazement, Marlene also took a drink. 'What? I was fourteen and I found out Marcus, the attractive boy from across the road was going to be in it. Too bad he was gay, but I snogged that guy Thomas instead. You know him, Lils. Tall, black hair, _amazing_ kisser?'

'Why would Lily know him by his snogging abilities?' Interrupted James, staring at a blushing Lily. She shoved his shoulder as she nodded her agreement to Marlene, looking a little wistful.

'Never have I ever broken into the kitchens at school.' Declared Alice. She wasn't surprised when Frank and all of the Marauders took a drink, however her eyes bulged as she saw Lily take one as well. 'You know I would bloody do anything short of killing a man to get chocolate.' She sniffed at Alice.

A truer statement could never be said about Lily Evans. In their fourth year, Remus hadn't been paying attention in Potions, as he was feeling under the weather. The full moon was two days away, but no one aside from the Marauders knew why that would have any effect on him. Accidentally, Remus blew up half of the potions classroom and asked Lily to take the blame because Slughorn loves her and would never give her detention. Lily agreed on the condition that Remus gave her chocolate, and so Remus started carrying around chocolate wherever he goes to give to Lily when he needs to borrow notes or something, keeping this habit for at least the rest of his Hogwarts years. Just in case.

'Never have I ever been compared to a firecracker.' Remus said, laughing as James, Lily, Marlene and Sirius each took a drink.

'Never have I ever rolled down the stairs, covered in bubble wrap.' Laughed Peter, as both Frank and Alice blushingly took a drink. However, it is suspected that their blushing had more to do with them remembering the snogging that had followed, rather than the activity itself.

After a while of playing the game, James was delighted. He now knew even more about Lily, in that she was _quite_ the prankster herself. Turns out, she had been the one who kept on pranking the Marauders in second year, and her only defense was that she wanted them to stop strutting and she thought it was the perfect excuse to practice some spells that she had taught herself. She had used a sticking charm on them in the Great Hall one morning, so that the boys ended up missing a whole day of classes because they couldn't separate their arses from the bench. She also turned Sirius' hair pink and gave him clown makeup – neither of which couldn't be removed for 48 hours, as that was how long it took them to admit that they had no idea how to, turning to the school nurse for help - gave Peter a pig's tail, never allowed Remus to shower with any hot water and had cast a jinx on James that made him belt out Christmas carols for over three hours. They all laughed at the memories, Sirius, Remus and Peter sending her mock glares, but James just looked at her with approval and pride in his eyes. The Marauders remembered that they had never figured out exactly _how_ one person had managed to do all of those things, let alone someone in their year, as aside from themselves of course, no else was that intelligent. Of course, they weren't as intelligent as they knew the counter-curses, but they ignored that detail as usual. Frank knew that they were getting pranked, however he was never involved as he didn't strut, at least according to Lily. James vowed to bring her up to their dormitory one Saturday afternoon and let her reconsider her opinion then.

* * *

Much later into the evening, the friends had all broken up into groups. Lily was talking to Remus and James, Sirius with Dorcas and Marlene, Peter was in the corner snoring softly and Frank and Alice had disappeared sometime earlier, probably going somewhere to snog in peace.

'I don't see the point in rereading books.' Said James, much to Lily's incredulous eyes.

'What is wrong with you? What about you, Remus?' Lily turned to her friend, hoping to gain at least someone on her side. To her disappointment, Remus shook his head, stating that he couldn't see the appeal. 'If you already know what's going to happen, then what's the point?'

'What's the point? What do you mean, what's the point? When you read something the first time, sure it's good and all, but if you really liked it, when you reread it, it's like you're going on that second date, with the person that intrigued you so much the first time that you just want to know everything about them. It's like being welcomed home, after a long time being somewhere where you didn't really want to be. You can prop your feet up on the table, walk around in your sweats, and just enjoy it. You still laugh where it's funny, because – just like when retelling for the fifth time the tale of one of your pranks – the jokes stay the same, but you aren't blindsided anymore by whatever sadness or grief is included. You get to notice whatever detail that you missed, one foreshadowing something on the way, and you get a tingly feeling inside you that makes you want to yell at the characters for not noticing it themselves. I love reading a book the first time, but I live for the books where I can read them over and over and over again.'

James could not focus his attention as Remus responded, hearing something faintly along the lines of 'If you already know the mistakes that'll be made, how can you stand to see them being made over and over again?', but he found that he was no longer interested. All he cared about was seeing her eyes light up once again, to hear her talk with such passion that his heart ached. He wanted to bear witness to that for the rest of his life, to be apart of her life everyday, to have debates over as many topics as possible. Because he knew, that when she got that glint in her eyes, that he would do anything to never let it fade.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I'm touched that anyone could believe that I am as creative as JK Rowling, but considering I'm using her 1) world, 2) her characters, and 3) her plot, I'm afraid it disproves that theory.**

 **Great big thanks goes to all those who have followed, favorited and/or reviewed my story, please keep it up!**

 **I have no way of knowing what everyone wants to see out of this story, so drop by and give me a review so I can get some input. Jokes, stories, raves, sub-plots and especially pranks are more than welcome!**

 **A/N: you know those cute marauder-themed headcanons that you see on Facebook, Pinterest, and Tumblr? I plan on including as many of those as I can- as long as they're relevant- because I really love them. Therefore, I will additionally include in my disclaimers that anything you RECOGNIZE from somewhere on the internet IS NOT MINE. But I love it all, and so it shall be included, as long as I like where it'll take the story. Usually, it just gives more character development, rather than adding anything to the plot.**

 **Without further ado,**

 **Chapter 9**

The talking, story-telling and laughing went on throughout the entire night, and well into the morning. Once Peter had woken up from his nap and Alice and Frank had slipped back into the room, a slightly staggering Remus yelled out 'TWISTERRR!' at the top of his lungs as he produced the game from behind his back. Even with the mass groaning erupting from the others, they all agreed to join with large smiles covering their faces. Sirius was the most excited of all, jumping about like an excited puppy. After setting up the game, it was decided that Peter - still a little sleepy from his nap, would man the panel while the others would play the game.

Once they were all standing around the mat, Peter called out 'Right foot, Blue!'. Sirius was standing in the middle, stretching his foot over the row of blue and the row of red, because 'You lot'll be so surprised, just watch how far I can bend over backwards.' He said with a wink in Lily and Marlene's direction, much to James' annoyance and Remus' sigh. The girls just laughed and challenged him to prove it by winning.

After fifteen minutes of playing, it was only James, Lily and Sirius left. Lily's left hand was thrown over James' torso, touching the red, and her right foot was in between Sirius' legs, on the yellow. Sirius stopped taunting Lily about it when she reminded him that she'd much rather kick him there than do anything else. He was so shocked that when he moved his left hand near her head on the blue and she pretended to bite him, he shrieked and fell over, loosing the game. James, laughing so hard, would've fallen over, had it not been for Lily's left foot, right under his lower-back.

Trying to ignore the warmth emanating from his torso, Lily focused on her feet. When she moved her left foot over James' torso, along with the hand that had not moved for two minutes, she started to doubt the calls that Peter made. She highly doubted that they were still playing fair, forgoing the panel for calling out whatever would render the two in the most compromising position possible. Her train of thought was confirmed by the muffled giggling coming from her friends, who were all huddled and seemed to be debating their next call. Finally, with a 'Right hand, Blue!', Lily moved hers to just beside James' right thigh, and his went near her head. That movement meant that he was almost lying on top of her, pinning her with his other hand, stretched over her onto the green, with her hand and leg thrown over him. Staring into his eyes, she wasn't so sure that she could identify what she saw amid the hazel and flecks of gold and blue. She just knew that she was in no particular hurry to move, aside from moving her hair so that it could better cover the blush rising up her cheeks.

As James looked down at her, he knew what his friends were doing. As he looked into the bright green eyes staring back at him, for once not filled with tears or hatred, but glowing with embarrassment and laughter, he found that he didn't care all that much. He could tell by her shifting that she wanted to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks, but she couldn't quite get the required height to do so, as his body was barely hovering over hers. As they called out the next move, for a left hand, he knew that that would mean that he'd be directly on top of her-it was either have it over her head or across her chest. He knew which one she'd prefer, and frankly, with the company giggling not seven feet away, he knew which one he'd prefer too. Moving his hand over her head, he was pinning her on both sides.

Laughter in his eyes, he murmured 'Hi there, Lils. Fancy seeing you here.'

His face was covered by his smile, lighting up his eyes and covering his freckles. Judging by the way that her laugh caught, he quickly reverted back to his usual smirk, a little upset that he had no one aside from Sirius that preferred his real smile.

That is, until he heard her whisper to him, so quiet that no one else could hear, 'If I'm around, don't ever make that smirk again. I like the real one much better.' He was so shocked that he almost fell down on top of her. Sadly, in doing so, she lost her balance and fell. With a small smile, she said 'I guess you win. Congrats.'

And then she was gone, out from under him and stalking towards the group and grabbing a pillow on the way. James laughed when he saw the girls and Remus start apologizing and trying to escape from her while Sirius was calling them cowards and dared them to face her. He, Frank and Peter were the only ones who had no idea what was coming, and, therefore, were unprepared for the whack that followed. Sirius was knocked to the floor, and sat up looking dazed. He then looked at her in wonder as she started on Marlene, Alice, Dorcas and Remus.

James looked for Peter and was not shocked when he saw a rat peeking out from under the couch. He started laughing but stopped when he realized what Lily would say when she started looking for him. Glaring at the rat, he pointed to the couch, where there was just barely enough space for Peter to switch back.

Once Lily had exacted revenge on all their friends, she tossed bottles of butterbeer to everyone, taking one herself and walking over to James, who still sat on the mat, chuckling from the redhead's antics. She breathlessly hauled him to his feet and handed him his butterbeer, drinking her own with a wide smile.

After they had all stopped wincing when Lily glanced in their direction, the group of friends gathered once again around the kitchen table, sharing stories and telling jokes.

'One time, Filch was chasing us down the corridors because he caught us trying to paint Mrs. Norris pink, and Peeves started pelting bits of chalk at him because ' "no running in the corridors" .' laughed Peter.

'To be fair, though, we did hang Mrs. Norris on the chandelier right before that as well…' Put in Remus, with a chuckle.

Laughing, Lily said 'The things that I've done to Mrs. Norris are far worse than hanging her on a chandelier and turning her pink.'

'Oh yeah? Like what?' asked James.

'Well, for starters, trapping her in every single suit of armor that I see her near is liberating, but not as much as closing her in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.' Continued Lily.

'Wait, you're telling me, that you've been the one doing all of that?! We have been signing your high praises since third year!' Sirius exclaimed with incredulous awe.

'Just because I don't get caught doesn't mean that I don't rebel.' Winked Lily.

After the hoots of laughter died down, Frank started chuckling and said, 'Does anybody remember when James, Peter and Remus wrestled a kicking and screaming Sirius into a Christmas tree, trying to put him on top because Sirius is a star, ?'

Laughing, Marlene asked, 'Wasn't he only wearing gold colored, skin-tight pants at the time?'

'So glad that you remembered.' Purred Sirius.

'Only because it gave me nightmares for the next month.' Retorted Marlene, to everyone's amusement. She winked at Sirius, who looked like he was trying not to laugh himself.

James had set up Frank in his/The Marauder's bedroom, and the girls shared their own down the hall, but none of the beds were occupied more than four hours that night. Everyone decided that it was time to crash around four in the morning, and so Lily went with the girls to the shared bedroom.

Collapsing on the bed, she laid awake, staring at the ceiling, long after the regular snoring of Marlene and the sound of Dorcas muttering in her sleep could be heard. The only indication that Alice was sleeping was the stench emanating from her side of the room- anyone who thinks Alice is ladylike has obviously not shared a room with her while she's asleep. The smell is worse than Lily's Father after a chili supper.

In a baggy shirt that went to her hips and a pair of loose short shorts, Lily went back downstairs to the kitchen. Leaving the lights off, she grabbed a glass of water and went to look out at the moon. Or rather what was left of it, for the full moon had been the previous week. She stared up at the stars, admiring their beauty. This was why she went down to breakfast in the mornings with bags under her eyes, or makeup covering her face- she didn't like performing magic on anyone before she's had some caffeine in her, just to be sure no one ends up with an additional head. She didn't bring any makeup for tonight, but she figured that with how late everyone else went to bed, let alone the amount of alcohol consumed, she wouldn't look the worst for wear. So she continued her staring, and she would've for quite awhile yet, had someone not coughed from behind her.

* * *

Ever since before he can remember, Sirius never willingly missed eating a late night snack. Starting from when he was younger, Sirius and his Big Cousin Andromeda, or Andy as he always called her, would sneak downstairs to find whatever pastry they could. Once she was disowned and had moved out, he vowed to never do it again, because that was _their_ thing. That didn't last long, as the next night he was sent to bed without supper for being late and missing lunch.

He forced himself to creep downstairs after hours of debating with himself, and he hated himself for being in a position that made him do this without her. He went back upstairs with only an apple, leaving the pastries as further self-punishment to himself for what he felt had been further betrayal of his cousin.

But as he kept on getting punished, night after night of being sent to bed without supper, he stopped thinking about it. He would take apples, cheeses, and whatever else he could, but he never again took the pastries. It wasn't until his little brother, Regulus, got sent to bed without supper one night, that he ever brought someone else along. That night, Reg had defended Andy at the supper table against the whole family, and had immediately been dismissed. Sirius was too shocked, but he recovered enough to try to defend his brother. He too was dismissed. That night, Sirius quietly tapped on his brother's door and waited. When a sleepy Regulus opened up his door, his eyes widened in curiosity when he saw his brother, holding out his hand to lead him in the dark.

As he took Sirius' hand, Reg knew that he was the only family member he would've done so with, so quickly. Regulus usually kept the rest of the family at a distrustful distance, but that never worked with his older brother. Leading him downstairs to the kitchen, they both crept past the house-elf, Kreacher, and went into the kitchen noiselessly. It was then, that for the first time in many months, that Sirius reached up above the pantry shelves, and grabbed the pastries.

Handing one to Reg, he took one for himself and then proceeded to grab cheeses, meats and fruits. That night, they feasted in Sirius' room. Even though he was a Gryffindor, the room was decorated in Slytherin's colors, green and silver, and Sirius hated his bedroom the most of all in the entire house, even more than the drawing room with all the dark objects and the damned tapestry. They did that every night afterward, for years, until Sirius got his Hogwarts letter.

* * *

It only took Sirius a week before he found the kitchens at Hogwarts, and in his mind, it was a week too long. Always afraid of not having his next meal, Sirius always ate an extreme amount of food. The only reason that he was so scrawny was because he spent half his days running around the castle, trying to get to classes on time because he overslept in the previous one. However, every time he went to the kitchens, he never had any pastries.

Sirius had been going to the kitchens only for a week or so before one night, he heard someone else there, sitting at his preferred table by the House Elves. Before rounding the corner, Sirius took a moment to brace himself, cooling his features into that of an air of importance, of authority, in hopes that his presence might not be questioned there.

Rounding the corner, Sirius walked into an invisible wall and stumbled. He swore at how rotten his luck was. Fearing that the person would hear him, he froze. In doing so, it gave him time to realize that he wasn't the only one who swore. Nor was his the only sounds of breathing that he heard.

'Hello?' Sirius whispered, stumbling around with his arms out, trying to feel for the invisible wall. His outstretched hands met with a cool, smooth fabric and he yanked.

The head of James Potter became visible, his body closely followed as the rest of the fabric fell to the floor. He tried to pass off a smirk, but Sirius, who had grown up forced to attend boring wizard functions and parties, knew that it was only to conceal his nervousness.

He didn't know James very well. Even though they were both purebloods, his parents didn't attend the same kind of functions as his, or if they did, they were the odd one where no kids were allowed. So they only really met on the Hogwarts train. Sirius had been reclusive, only sharing the same compartment because there were no others left, as James had befriended Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin, two boys in their year. Aside from making small talk in the mornings, Sirius didn't talk much with the other boys. Not that he wasn't relieved, because after all, it's what he had dared to ask for, but being in gryffindor, shunned from his family -while lonely, it wasn't the worst thing that happened. No, it was the fact that he had a feeling that Reg wouldn't be the same when Sirius came home. The nagging feeling that his family had gotten to him and that he wouldn't want to sneak midnight snacks anymore. Because that had been the one thing that had brought the vastly different brothers together. Feeling quite depressed, Sirius hadn't made quite the effort to make new friends as he should have, which was why he was quite thoroughly shocked when James visibly steeled himself and opened his mouth, words spilling out of his mouth in his nervousness.

'Um, hi. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be here, but it's just that I wake up starving in the middle of the night and I heard something about the kitchens so I had to find it. Please don't report me to McGonagall!'

Sirius was so shocked that he started laughing. He explained that he has never been in a position of authority in his life, mainly because he was always too busy pranking and being a pain in the ass to be reliable.

Once the boys got to talking, they found they rather enjoyed each other's company. They decided to sit down at the table, and after a few nights of walking down to the kitchens together, Sirius grabbed some pastries while James explained what the cool, soft fabric was and how he had been made invisible.

Ever since then, the boys would go down to the kitchens as soon as one's stomach started grumbling. Especially if it was in the middle of the night. And when Sirius came over to James', James would make up the pastries right then, laughing at whatever he and Sirius were talking about, and while the pastries were in the oven, both would be at the sink doing the dishes. It usually ended up with whacking each other with the towels, but those fights always ended as soon as the timer went off for the oven.

* * *

Once everyone had gone to bed, James and Sirius spent a few extra minutes tidying things up in the living room and then went to bed themselves. James had barely lain down on his bed when he heard Sirius' stomach growling loudly, and both boys broke out in laughter.

Going down the stairs, they tried to be as quiet as possible, hoping to avoid waking anyone up. Sirius had just reached the doorway to the kitchen when he threw out his arm to block James' path, drawing his wand as he did so. Only when James caught up to him did Sirius recognize the figure staring out the window though James knew the instant that he saw the red hair glowing in the window. Coughing, the boys stepped into the moonlight and gave small smiles when Lily turned her head, smiling as she took in the disgruntled exhaustion pouring off the boys. However, she laughed when she heard both the boys' stomachs growling.

* * *

 **Thanks again to all that read this, please send me a review and let me know what you think? Thanks everyone!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Alright, so I really feel like I owe everyone an apology, I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I've been absolutely swamped with exams. Thankfully, those are over, and so I'm crossing my fingers so that I might be able to get ahead of my writing before school gets busy again.**

 **Please, please, please review, it really helps. Constructive criticism, compliments, ideas for the plot or character development are absolutely welcomed, and please feel free to PM me.**

 **Disclaimer: While the absolutely brilliant writing is mine (mind you, I might be a bit biased) if given the choice, I would much rather be living in this world than the amazing creator of it, JK Rowling.**

 **Chapter 10**

'Mornin'. You boys hungry, or what?' Lily asked with a small smirk, seeming to come out of a daze. She had an odd sort of twinkle in her eyes that had yet to fade, and James had to pretend like he knew how to breathe properly. _Damn, I love those shorts,_ he thought, as her short pajama shorts barely concealed anything of her thighs, leaving her long and shapely pale legs almost glowing in the moonlight. As Lily's usually quite modest, James was taken aback by how toned they were, hoping she was as fit as she looked. _With those legs, she should easily be able to run the laps during quidditch practice. It's a good thing she seemed to adore flying. Bloody hell I want her on the team; but why hasn't she ever tried out before?_

'It's kind of a long story.' Sirius smiled sheepishly. James had never actually heard the full story, as Sirius would claim that it was quite long and extremely boring. James knew that that was a load of bullshit, but he didn't want to press his friend into revealing something so private, especially when he could tell Padfoot felt uncomfortable whenever James brought it up. He was therefore surprised when Sirius got out all of their baking stuff, and started telling them both about how he and his cousin Andy, and then Reg, and finally James had all snuck down to the kitchen for food and pastries, and how it had evolved when they were at the Potter's to them just baking.

After a long silence where Sirius wouldn't meet neither James' nor Lily's eyes, James got out Padfoot's favorite cookbook and began looking for something that they were in the mood for.

Both boys looked up and laughed, surprised, when Lily tied her long red hair up into a quick, messy braid and went to wash her hands asking 'So, what are we making?' along the way. When she saw their incredulous looks, Lily looked at them amusedly and said 'You didn't honestly think that I would go back to bed when I know that you two are baking, did you? Whatever you're making had better have chocolate in it though.'

'Fair enough.' Laughed Sirius. 'What do you think about chocolate cheesecake, then?'

'Sounds perfect.' Said James, as he went to gather the ingredients.

'You'll love it, trust me.' Sirius said to Lily with a wink.

'You had me at chocolate.' Laughed Lily. 'Tell me what to do.'

By the time Sirius had passed her the eggs and told her they needed to crack six of them, Lily had already cracked four. Gaping, James and Sirius stared at her.

'What? I cook with eggs all the time.' She continued with her beating, until she noticed that the boys were still looking at her skeptically. 'I love making breakfast, just ask Remus. I make enough to feed an army when he comes over.' She smiled, almost shyly.

James blinked and exclaimed 'So _you're_ the one who's relieved me from kitchen duty! Remus never told me you could cook.' He looked at her appreciatively, earning him a whack in the arm from the laughing redhead.

'Wait, so you mean that you made all of the food that was served tonight? What about your House Elf, Twitch?' Asked Lily. Sirius smiled as he saw James practically _preen_ over the fact that Lily appreciated his cooking, _and_ that she remembered Twitch's name- not many wizards would bother, but the Potters considered Twitch family. Smiling over his friends' stupidity, Sirius started on the cheesecake as James and Lily kept on talking, which soon turned to bantering, barely getting anything accomplished aside from launching flour at each other.

When there seemed to be a truce settled over the flour –after they were both covered head to toe in white -Sirius spoke 'So Lily, how come you've never tried out for the quidditch team before? Surely it wasn't purely because of Prongs over here?' He said, a small smile as he jerked his head in the direction of his indignant best friend.

'Hey!' Cried James. 'That wasn't it, was it Evans?' He asked worriedly, risking a glance in her direction.

'Partly,' Lily said with a slight smile, looking down at her hands. 'Only it's not the entire reason.' After pausing for a heartbeat, giving Sirius just barely enough time to shoot a warning glare to James in case he tried to interrupt her, Lily continued. 'I've never owned my own broom.' She said simply. 'In first year, I fell in love with flying, but the school has that policy of first years not being allowed on the team. So I would practice on the quidditch pitch in the mornings- before everyone else woke up, sometimes before even the sun was up, just racing the wind down to each end of the pitch. By the time second year came around, the morning before tryouts, I went down to the pitch early again, like I used to, only by then I noticed how little control the brooms give you when you need to turn, and I didn't want to use an unreliable one during games. But I refused to ask my parents to buy me a broom of my own, and I didn't want to risk braking a friend's if I were to borrow it. So I just never bothered trying out. Giving me another reason to avoid the prat over there was just a bonus.' She finished with a weak smile, shooting a mock-glare in James' direction and continued with making the dessert.

'You know the Potter's have their own private quidditch pitch, right? The boys, McKinnon and I practically spend all summer out there, but it sucks because we're a player short of even teams. I'm sure James would let you borrow one of his brooms to practice with for the summer.' Sirius said, trying to come off nonchalant, but utterly failing by stealing looks between the two.

'Absolutely.' James said without missing a beat. Smiling, he added 'And after seeing you fly today, Evans, I need to know which position to plan you in for the gryffindor quidditch team this year.'

Lily was still trying, and failing, to think up an excuse for not going- which turned out to be harder then she thought it would, if the effort it took in hiding her smile said anything- when James brandished the dessert, declaring it ready to be eaten. After a few minutes of contemplative chewing, Lily declared appreciatively 'I have to admit, you guys make a damn good cheesecake.', as she devoured her piece of cake.

Once they cleaned up the kitchen, Lily started giggling to herself.

'What's so funny, Evans?' Asked James, a confused smile gracing his mouth.

'Nothing- nothing, really.' Lily gasped, her shoulders shaking.

'Don't make me tickle it out of you.' Said Sirius, with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

'Don't you dare, Black!' Lily said, glaring at him, in an attempt to regain her composure. While a few chuckles escaped her, she managed to look at them in the eyes as she said 'I was just thinking at how different things are; just earlier this week, Remus begged me-like usual- to move in with you guys during the summer because of my cooking. I told him that that would be very counter-productive, as I would smother the two of you in your sleep.' Here she pointed at the boys seated in front of her, both of whom looked equally affronted, but when Lily continued, she couldn't tell if it was directed at Remus or her for laughing. 'Remus contradicted me by adding that I'd probably get away with it even if you both were awake.' She said, chuckling to herself quietly to herself as she took another look at James' and Sirius' faces.

'Oi!' Demanded James. 'Did you hear her?' He demanded of Padfoot, who looked rather indignant himself. 'You could not take us!'

'Yeah! _Jamesie_ over here is an extremely light sleeper, so fat chance of getting away with that!' Lily almost fell off her chair at _Jamesie's_ look of mortification and outrage, but Sirius merely continued. 'And, I'd like to see you take us when we're awake. We've spent years doing quidditch training you know. There's a reason all the girls claim my body belong to a god!' he huffed.

Turning on his friend, James said, 'There is no way I'm a light sleeper, _Paddy_.' Sirius stifled what Lily suspected was a growl in his throat, and looked at Potter with a wicked gleam in his eye. James, ignorant as usual, merely continued. 'Not with the way you snore in your sleep- and at least I don't growl, either. You know you do that thing, where it looks like you're a dog who's chasing your tail? And don't even get me started on how many times you've kicked me in your sleep! Bloody annoying.'

When James finished, the gleam that Lily had seen in Sirius' eyes seemed to be reflected in James'. When Sirius and James both stood up, rather abruptly, and turned towards the door leading to the backdoor, Lily followed with a sense of foreboding, hoping that the boys were always like this and that it wasn't over something she had said.

When she made her way outside, Lily was just in time to see what looked like the end of a scuffle, with both boys on the ground panting, until she saw both boys stand up. Glancing over their shoulders at Lily, the boys smiled slightly. 'Hey Lils?' Sirius called, as he walked farther away from James, while she was directly in the middle. 'Please, for once in your life, don't interfere? Oh. You, uh, might want to stand back a bit.' He said, sounding pleading, sheepish and amused at the same time.

Lily, who was utterly confused by this point, could do nothing but back up, and opened her mouth in shock when she saw James and Sirius whip out their wands- _Where did they even put them? They don't even have pockets.-_ and begin to launch charms and jinxes at each other.

' _Alarte Ascendare_!' James bellowed, as Sirius shot up into the air.

Sirius managed to cast a _Cushioning Charm_ , and then retaliated with 'Anteoculatia!'

Sirius wasted a good minute laughing as James realized what Sirius had done, and he voiced cries of outrage as he felt the antlers that had grown on his head. 'Mine are SO much nicer, Padfoot!' Bellowed James - who was trying to look upset, but only managed to pull off amusedly annoyed- which confused Lily immensely, however it caused Sirius to double over once more in fits of laughter. In doing so, it gave James time to cry out something that Lily didn't quite catch, but caused Sirius to sprout a long, shaggy black tail which was wagging in excitement, as well as upturned-ears on the top of his head. They both started laughing at each other, as neither had removed the spells of the other so far, and paused for a brief moment. Suddenly, they both whirled on Lily with laughter and shouts of ' _Augmenti_!' and ' _Avifors'._ Lily, who had only just realized that it was all a game- and therefore perfectly normal- was only just able to put up a shield charm that blocked the jet of water and the spell that would've turned her into a bird.

'Nice reflexes, Evans!' She could hear James calling appreciatively over from the other side of her shield charm, the wide smile evident in his voice – as was the challenge. 'How about we see if you can _actually_ turn me into a toad, as you've promised countless other times!'

'James, you should know better! It's been 76 times, since September!' Laughed Sirius.

Lily could've sworn that their voices were coming closer, and knew her shield was only blocking her line of sight. Once it fell, she would be taken by surprise, and she did _not_ want to deal with those two gloating. Lily thought, with everything she could, ' _Ascendio!'_ and much to her relief, and surprise – because Merlin knows she needs help with her non-verbal spells – Lily shot into the air, rising high above the heads of James and Sirius as she let her shield charm end. She was also pleased to note that they had indeed, been approaching her, and that they were surprised when they didn't see her once her shield fell.

'Since when can you pull off non-verbal spells, Evans? We haven't even covered those yet!' Sirius exclaimed, in an oddly proud voice that Lily rarely heard.

'Actually, _you_ haven't. I read the textbooks before-hand during the summer so that I don't stress as much during the year -it also gives me something to do during the day. I'm _very_ grateful, as I'm sure you could imagine, that I started with Transfiguration first.' Lily cackled, as she Summoned Marlene's broom up to her.

'We can fly too, Evans, you sure you want to go there? I doubt you can see much up there- the sun isn't even up yet.' James called to her.

'James, I think you're forgetting something; this is what I'm used to!' Lily called as she sped off to where she saw the Quidditch Pitch peeking over the trees.

Swearing, James and Sirius chased after her –after finally managing to get a hold of their brooms –with bright smiles adorning all three of their faces.

* * *

James Potter was having the best night of his life. First, he stands a decent chance of convincing Evans to try out for the quidditch team, as long as she gets a broom –which he doesn't think will be a problem, as long as it was anonymously given; then, it seems as if she can be in a room with him and Padfoot for hours on end without trying to strangle either of them; she can not only handle her own in the kitchen, but actually enjoys it; _and_ she likes reading up on the transfiguration textbook before hand as well? _I am so very screwed,_ He thought with a smile.

Over the wind, James could hear Padfoot whisper to him 'Why didn't you tell her you can do non-verbal spells too? And I know you can, because you've been practicing on me since I got here.'

James smiled as he looked at her form zooming across the pitch and explained 'I don't want her to think that I was showing off, or make her feel bad. I didn't know that she already knew how, and I obviously can't do much more about it now, but at least we got her to play quidditch. Thanks for helping out.' He told his best friend, and they both picked up their speed in an attempt to entice Lily into a real game, positive that this time, she would not refuse.

* * *

Lily knew exactly what James and Sirius were up to, but she really didn't mind so much, at least once she was back on a broom. After quickly determining that they would rotate positions to see which one she liked best, Lily started off as playing Keeper to James' Chaser and Sirius' Beater – with more than a little bit of nerves, as those were the positions the boys normally played.

'Ready, Lils?' called Sirius.

'Let's do this.' Answered Lily, refusing to let her nervousness show in her voice.

As the game commenced, it became apparent that Lily was not a skilled Keeper, however she certainly wasn't the worst one the team had ever had. Soon enough, James swapped with her so that she could try out the Chaser position, and while that went marginally better, he knew that she would be more restricted in her flying than what she'd be best with. There was also the matter of the other members on the team, and their positions, which James –as the quidditch captain- nearly forgot about. Sheepishly, he considered his options; as it stood, there was only a Seeker and a Beater position available anyways, as James, Marlene and Dorcas were the team's Chasers- and all had superior skills than Lily at said position- Sirius was the remaining Beater- sadly, Brown had left at the end of last year- and Frank was the Keeper- once again, not the right position for Lily regardless. The previous Seeker, Amelia Bones, had left that year as well. So, with those positions in mind, James decided to change things up. He had Lily do drills, trying to see how fast her reflexes were and how just how well she could maneuver her broom –and Merlin, was he _impressed_.

From what Lily could see, James was practically jumping with glee on top of his broom. 'Oi, Potter! You'd better not fall before you tell my why you're so bloody happy.' She hollered.

'Happy? You think this is merely James being happy?! Evans, he is bloody ecstatic. Hell, we could've won the championship for years had you been on the team! I'm more pissed that you weren't on the team before, but James has always looked on the positive side of things.' Sirius said, as he flew over to her to get a better look at his friend, who was now in the middle of doing victory laps. 'C'mon Prongs; Evans here has some eggs that need cracking. If you can manage to not break your neck in the meantime, I'm starving and Lily's in charge of breakfast.' Sirius bellowed as he and the ginger landed on the grass, James following shortly behind.

* * *

Remus had heightened senses once a month, thanks to his "Furry Little Problem" as James had royally dubbed it in their second year -most of their class were under the impression that Remus had a poorly behaved rabbit, and James and Sirius never done anything to discourage that. However, he still had better eyesight as well as a stronger sense of smell than normal people. This did not apply to animagus', and so while he knew when James and Sirius went downstairs to bake –Remus was a light sleeper, and it was a very common habit of theirs - neither he nor Peter stirred until they could smell the bacon, eggs and pancakes, among other things, cooking sometime around eight in the morning. Recognizing the smell of some foods that he'd ever only seen Lily make, he smiled and wondered at what state of living his two friends would be in when they encountered the definitely-not-a-morning-person redhead (however, that implied that she'd actually gone to bed, which never happened).

Sure enough, just as Lily was finished with the first round of food, the other three boys' toes touched the floor of the main floor, noses up in the air and practically running for the kitchen. As Remus was the only one to expecting it to be Lily cooking, he was the only one that didn't come skidding to a stop in shock, like Peter did, thereby causing Frank to run into him. It ended when Lily resolutely stepped over the mountain of teenage boys on the floor, already on her mission of going upstairs to wake up the girls.

Five minutes and much screaming later, Alice, Dorcas and Marlene were coming down the stairs completely soaked, while Lily sported brown fur, ears and a tail that resembled that of a doe –Sirius chortled over his pumpkin juice at this, as did Remus and Peter as they looked between Lily's grinning and unabashed face, and James' own pleasantly confused one. 'What- what happened to you four?' Managed Remus, in between fits of laughter.

'They didn't want to get up. And _apparently_ , they didn't like the way that I woke them up; so, they retaliated. I don't know if any of you boys could pull this look off, but I seem to be rocking it.' Lily stated simply, with a bright smile as she finished serving everyone just in time as the Daily Prophet arrived with a plain barn owl. After making eye contact with the rest of the Marauders, James paid the owl and took the paper, proceeding immediately to bury his face while reading, effectively smothering his sniggering.

'James!' Dorcas gasped, 'You can read? Who knew.'

'Aw Dork, at least _he_ knows where the library is at Hogwarts.' Countered Sirius.

'Like you're one to talk, Black.' Marlene joined in, a small but wicked small on his face. 'You're the only person I've ever met who got a paper cut and went running to Poppy, screaming about the dangers of blood loss and how you insisted on being admitted over night. _"Oh! The agony!"_ ' She said, with in an almost perfect imitation of her friend's wailing voice.

Remus cackled as Sirius stuck out his tongue and opened his mouth to continue the discussion, only to be interrupted by James. Sirius smirked, thinking that his friend was coming to his defense, but the smirk fell away soon after James started speaking; 'What's a six letter word for irritatingly loud?'

'Sirius.' Called Lily, as she had just sat down beside James, so that she could better see the crossword he was working on.

'Hey!' Pouted Sirius

'Ha! It fits! Thanks Lils.' James said with a wide smile, causing Sirius to frown even more –much to their friends exceeding amusement. 'What's a word that's a mix between angry and sad?'

'Disgruntled' offered Remus.

'Miserable' added Alice.

'Desolate' contributed Lily.

'Smad.' Said Sirius, with a triumphant expression on his face. However, the intended effect was rather ruined by the overly-dramatic wink he directed at Lily and James, who were directly opposite him and looking at him with a mix of exasperation and amusement on both of their faces. Everyone else just huffed, and Remus told him to stuff his face with breakfast before he did it for him.

Sirius had just opened his mouth once more when Remus spoke up. 'You know… duct tape can't fix stupid, but I'm sure it could muffle the sound.' Remus said wonderingly, glancing at an offended Sirius with a polite smile on his face as everyone else started sniggering into their food.

Once the kitchen was all cleared up and they had all sat back at the table, two people could be heard bickering as they emerged from the fireplace. Sharing confused looks with Sirius, James called out 'Mum? Dad? Is everything okay?'

'Oh yes, James don't worry about it. Your father here's just being the biggest prat I have ever seen. Honestly, Fleamont; you know better than to move things around in the pantry. It's why you aren't allowed in there in the first place!'

'Since when have I been banned from the pantry, Euphie?'

'Since the last time you moved things around!' Mrs. Potter huffed, storming into the kitchen with a redness to her cheeks, her husband following sheepishly behind. Looking slightly surprised at the amount of teenagers gathered at the kitchen table, Mrs. Potter greeted them all with 'Good morning, dears. Sorry to excuse myself so early, but _someone_ has a pantry that needs to be organized and restocked.' And with one final glare at her husband, Mrs. Potter turned on her heel and left the kitchen, muttering something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like _bloody potatoes_.

Mr. Potter, who had refused to make eye contact with any of them, suddenly looked up with a brilliant smile on his face and started laughing. He laughed for all it was worth, finally managing to gasp out a question, addressed as they usually were to the Marauders. 'Okay –which one of you –broke into the pantry –and hid all of the potatoes?' He laughed.

Peter, James and Remus turned quizzical expressions on each other, before turning to point at Sirius unanimously, with laughter in their eyes.

Taking another minute to compose himself, Mr. Potter high-fived Sirius, ruffled James' hair –not unlike the way his son has a habit of doing so –and left the kitchen, trailing after his wife –but not before he shared some words of wisdom to every male seated at that table; 'Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested; everything you say can and will be used against you.'

The group of friends tried to avoid eye contact, that is until James felt Lily's shoulders shaking with repressed fits of laughter and he couldn't contain his own any longer. The rest joined soon after, the sounds reaching all the way to Mrs. Potter's semi-annoyed ears and smiling face.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Sorry – still Canadian.**

 **Chapter 11**

After everyone left the Potters', Lily flew back to Marlene's place to drop off the borrowed broom and started her walk home. Grateful for the opportunity, she planned on spending the time trying to work out her muddled emotions over last night.

Confused couldn't even come close to what she felt like after spending so much time with James and Sirius, but she found herself surprisingly looking forward to doing it again. Not knowing what she'd been expecting exactly, she didn't know why their warmness surprised her –in all of her years at Hogwarts, she had no idea just what James was willing to do for Sirius, and vice versa –but it hadn't been them baking at four in the morning. She found herself rather awed by their loyalty to each other. _If only Sev was like that._ She sighed. While she had refused to voice the nickname out loud after their falling out, she couldn't quite seem to manage addressing him by his full name in her head –she wasn't quite ready to let that go, even though she knew that she should.

Her emotions were still chaotic when the park where she and Sev used to spend their days came into view, half an hour later. Ignoring the painful memories that resurfaced, she turned her back on it just as the afternoon sun glinted off of the yellow slide. She did not however, go deaf –no matter how much she wished she did.

'Lily? Lily, I'm sorry, please wait for a second! I need to talk to you.' Severus called, running over to her from across the park.

'What do you want now, Severus? I haven't slept since yesterday and I'm really not in the mood for this.' She huffed impatiently, silently cursing herself for not taking the longer route home, if only because it took her far away from the park.

Severus looked somewhere between anxious, miserable and pissed off. 'Why haven't you slept? Where were you? Are you okay?'

'Where I've been and what I've been doing is none of your business anymore, Snape.' She said coldly, her eyes narrowed.

'You're just like them. Potter and Black and Petunia and everyone that we ever said that we would never let each other be like! People that we never _wanted_ to be like. I guess you've changed then, because the Lily I knew would never want to be like them.'

'Excuse me?' Her brilliant green eyes were now so squinted that the only thing that was in her line of vision was him, and her cheeks were bright red splotches of colour. With her raw, uncontrolled magic tangible in the air, they both knew it wouldn't be long before she lost control. In the past, whenever she got into one of these moods, he'd back down almost immediately –he knew when to pick his battles. This time was different; he shifted nervously, but held his ground. 'And here I was, thinking that you wanted to apologize.' She said, in a tone that plainly said that she didn't give a damn.

'You've never sounded so much like Petunia in your _life_. You're _just_ like her; I guess you aren't so special after all.' He sneered, turning away from her.

'Don't – you – dare – walk away from me now. You wanted to talk? Fine. Lets talk. First things first; you _know_ what my home life is like. Just like how I know what yours is like.' He shifted uncomfortably once again, looking angry and indignant enough to interrupt her, but she never gave him the chance. 'You have _absolutely_ no right in saying that, in _judging_ me, _nothing_. I wasn't the one that started hanging around with your _friends_ –if you can call them that. At least James and Sirius know the meaning of loyalty. I wasn't the one who _changed_ , Severus. That was all you.'

'James and Sirius, huh?' He sneered, a look of utmost repulsion –and something far more difficult to discern –on his face. 'Of course you'd stoop that low. Is that why you haven't slept all night? Potter must be ecstatic that he finally got into your knickers –and by the sounds of it, Black must've too. Everyone knows that they do everything together.' Lily's magic was flickering between them now, building up so much tension that sparks could be felt in the air. Neither acknowledged the smell of burning grass as Snape's own magic was rising in response to his fury. 'Maybe he'll finally move on, now that he's gotten what he wants.' Unlike when they had first started this conversation, he didn't seem to realize anything was wrong. He didn't notice that she had gone deadly still, deathly pale or dangerously blank. Nor did he notice the death glare and thinned lipped expression that even McGonagall would be proud of. 'I can't believe I've been wasting my so much of my time with a filthy little mudblood slut like you, Evans.' He might've looked a little ashamed after saying that, but Lily didn't see anything through her attempts of controlling her temper.

Snape himself didn't see anything –because he was indeed opening his mouth to apologize once again –not until it was too late, and her fist was already connecting with his nose and jawline. They both heard a crack and saw blood pouring down his face, most likely from a broken nose, and Snape cried out in pain, glaring at a fuming Lily.

'I dink you broke my fukein nose, Evans! You bitsh!'

'You fucking _bastard_. I've spent five years – _five years_ –defending both our friendship _and_ you.' She yelled. 'Do you know what it felt like, having to justify the actions of my _best friend_ to my other friends, when he's the one who's prejudiced against me? When he hangs around people that have cursed me and called me names that I didn't even know could be used like that?

'Do you know what it felt like, when Remus avoided me during patrols for _weeks_ , because _you and your friends_ had cornered him and his best friends in an empty hallway to beat the living shit out of them?! I defended you to them when I couldn't even defend you to myself. And now you do this. You just assume that everything is Potter's fault –and maybe some of the fights were, but that does not give you permission to treat _anyone_ –let alone your bloody best friend –the way you've treated me. You have no idea how to take responsibility for your actions, how to apologize and _mean it_ –you never have.

'I am not a slut, and I'm not a mudblood. And I don't think your friends are aware that you're a _halfblood_ , _Snivellus_. So shut the fuck up.' She stormed away –before he could see the tears streaming down her face –leaving him gaping and still clutching his battered and broken nose.

Lily felt like shit. Emotionally, physically, and everything else that _could_ feel like shit, felt like shit. Lily had never been more glad that her house was normally empty. Walking in through the back door in the kitchen, she made her way to the hallway to go up stairs. _Crack!_

'Mistress Lily? Hello?' A squeaky voice called apprehensively.

'Who's there?' She responded, her voice cracking as the hot tears continued falling.

'Twitch is here, Mistress. Master James sent me.' The house elf responded, coming into view as Lily made her way to the living room.

'What does he want? I was just there… Why do you call me your Mistress? I'm not a Potter.' She sputtered, attempting to hide the tear tracks on her face.

'Master James has told Twitch that whenever someone stays the night, they are Twitch's Masters. Twitch thinks it has something to do with Master Sirius and Master Remus, but Twitch cannot be sure. Oh yes! Master Potter saw that Mistress Lily forgot her pajama's and asked Twitch to return them to her.' The house elf handed Lily her shorts and t-shirt.

'Thank you Twitch.' Lily sniffled. 'Tell James I said thanks as well.'

'Of course, Mistress Lily.' A skeptical look at Lily's face and a deep bow later, Twitch left the house with another _Crack!_

Lily went upstairs to her bedroom, wondering at just how much she had misunderstood James during the five years that he had vied for her attention. When she reached her room and saw the empty photograph frames on her nightstand from pictures of her and Sev, she forgot about James as the tears flowed freely once more. She curled up on her bed, hugging her knees into her chest, and wept freely over the loss of her best friend for the first time since the day of their Defense exam.

* * *

James had no idea how Lily would respond once he remembered that she'd technically be Twitch's Mistress after the party, even though he had only really meant to have that rule apply to Sirius, Peter and Remus. Knowing that Twitch liked Lily only made things worse –Twitch had a way of choosing who all that rule applied to; it applied every time to Remus and Sirius, but never seemed to apply to Peter.

James had been waiting anxiously since Twitch left for the house elf to return, and so spent his time nervously fiddling with anything in sight (mainly his hair) while hoping that Lily didn't take the news too poorly. Having said that he had been expecting the house elf, he nearly fell out of his chair at the kitchen table when the _Crack!_ sounded in the middle of the kitchen, while the other Marauders' laughter could be heard around the corner. _Gits,_ He thought.

'So? Is she okay? Did she take it well? Please tell me she doesn't hate me again.' He rushed, in a tone that described just how full of dread he was.

'Twitch thinks that Mistress Lily needs hot chocolate and someone comforting.' The house elf announced, looking directly at James as she moved to prepared the hot drink. James continued to look confused for the entirety it took to prepare the drink.

'Master Remus!' Twitch called, standing beside James with the steaming mug of hot chocolate in her hand. 'Could Master Remus please inform Master James where Mistress Lily's bedroom is?' Twitch said firmly, grabbing James' hand.

'Um, sure, I guess? Go up the stairs in the hallway, first door on the left.' He said, looking puzzled. 'And if she's sleeping, don't get close enough for her to take your eye out.' He warned.

'Twitch, what the hell is going on? Is Lily alright? Why does she need -' _Crack!_

Letting go of Twitch's hands, James looked around him dazedly –he never was a fan of Side-Long Apparition.

Once the world stopped spinning, James realized that he and Twitch had arrived in what James assumed was Lily's perfectly arranged living room, every last pillow being perfectly fluffed even if no one was around to enjoy it. Looking around, he noticed that the house seemed cold and empty. _No wonder Lils took to wandering Diagon Alley as an escape. Why isn't Marlene here, if Lily's so upset?_

Twitch handed him the mug of hot chocolate and went back to the Manor while James went up and knocked on the first door to the left. 'Lily? Is everything okay?' He called. He thought he heard muffled swearing coming from the other side of the door, and knocked once more.

'What the bloody hell are you doing here, Potter? Go away.' Lily said, sounding quite muffled. James had a hard time believing it was sorely from the door. _Screw it_ , He thought, opening the door apprehensively.

He knew from Remus that if Lily had been feeling like her normal self, she would've chucked a pillow at him for that, and the fact that he didn't had him instantly concerned.

'Lily? What's wrong? Where's Marlene?' he asked gently, cautiously approaching the bed. When he saw her curled up in a ball, attempting to hide her tear-stained face and puffy, red eyes, he no longer cared what was wrong. He just knew that he needed to fix it. For the second time in as many minutes, James did something that, if Lily had been feeling alright, she would've skinned him alive for; he sat on her bed, pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. He started rubbing her back as she started weeping onto his shoulder, her own arms wrapping around his torso. _Who the hell did this to her?_ He asked, the fury at them and the pain for her winding its way around his heart, which now resided in his shoes.

After a few minutes, her sobs slowed and finally stopped, leaving only sniffles as the red head tried wiping her eyes discreetly. _Kind of hard to do when you've blubbered all over him._ She thought dejectedly. Embarrassed, Lily tried to pull away, complaining when James refused to let go. 'James, what are you doing? Let me go.' She whimpered.

'Not until you tell me what's wrong, Lils. What happened? Is it because of you being Twitch's Mistress?' He asked worriedly, looking uncomfortable.

'No, no it's not. Why would you even think that?' She asked, confusedly meeting his eyes. James had to bite his tongue not to gape at her –he didn't particularly want her to know just how nervous he was that he'd end up doing something to wreck their friendship, or just what effect her eyes had on him. As hazel met green, he knew that she'd have to have been crying before Twitch came over and he accidentally let a small sigh of relief escape him. 'Why would that bother me? I think it's amazing that you did that for your friends.' She sniffed.

'So it was nothing that I did? You're sure?' He asked, needing to know for certain. When she nodded, he felt relieved, but no less worried. 'Then what happened, Lils?' He murmured quietly.

'I don't know if I should tell you…' She admitted, looking extremely guilty. When she saw his shocked and hurt expression before he could cool his features, she rushed to explain. 'It's not because it has anything to do with you, I swear. I just don't want you to get into any trouble because of it. You're going to be pissed.'

While he considered her words, he studied her carefully. Even on his lap, she was still curled into a ball, trying to make herself as small as possible. Her face, which still showed traces of tears, was set in an expression meant to look nonchalant –a hopeless endeavor when it came to deceiving James, as he had been staring at that face for years, and therefore knew when she was putting on a brave face –when she was secretly crumbling inside. Her face broke his heart, and it took almost all of his resolve to whisper 'Please tell me. I want to help.'

Her face crumpled, and this time she rested her head on his chest –they had somehow ended up so that James was propped up by pillows, Lily being propped up by James –as she told him about her fight with Severus. Her voice caught as she tried to leave out what Severus had said about her with James and Sirius, as well as when he called her a Mudblood again, but James caught on before she could get away with it. 'Tell me everything, Lily. Please?' He begged.

After hesitating, she reluctantly agreed. While she spoke, the tears started falling rapidly once more as she felt him tense repeatedly. Unable to bare looking him in the eye after she finished, she cried herself to sleep on his shoulder, while he rubbed her back and murmured comforting words.

* * *

 **A/N: Ok, so I have to admit that I'm very nervous about this chapter. Knowing all of your opinions on this one would really help me out with what works and what doesn't for future reference. Also, while I see Lily as someone who doesn't tend to associate with drama, and I definitely don't see her as excessively teary, I felt that her relationship with Snape definitely needed more closer than what we saw during the books. So, I wanted a scene where both sides were guilty of something, (because when things like this happen, no party's completely innocent) and where it really showed that she was done with him. And I absolutely felt it was necessary that she relaxes around James, and what better way than to start sobbing on his shoulder? ;)**

 **I'm sorry that it was a little on the short side, I had wanted to make it longer but I was afraid of dragging it out too long. Anyways, I hope it works for you guys. Cheers!  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**I would like to clarify some things regarding Snape, as well as the role he'll have in this story. I know that many people write him differently, with varying degrees of hate/respect etc. and I recognize that he is an extremely complex character. As such, not all of the blame will go to him, (Lily was throwing cheap shots in their fight as well if you noticed, and it's not like he's never provoked the marauders in the books) and he will be shown struggling with his choices, though not openly, because that's not his style. He will however become a Death Eater, following canon.**

 **Also, as I have previously mentioned, I intend to make this as canon as possible, but that doesn't always work out with the plot. Minor changes have been made; Fleamont Potter is Head of the Auror Department; the Marauders are going to school with Malfoy, Narcissa and Bellatrix Black, and a few other known Death Eaters as well; I hope to minimize as many changes as I can, but that might not always be possible.**

 **I don't know if any of you have seen the new Anne Of Green Gables movie, but the actress that plays Anne reminds me SO much of Lily! I also see a strong resemblance between a young James and the behavior of Gilbert in the movie. Thoughts?**

 **I really want to take the time to thank everyone that has dedicated their time to reading this fanfiction, to those who have followed/favourited it and who have taken the time to give me some input –it makes my day and brings a smile to my face every time I get an email notifying me. Please keep it coming guys!**

 **I really didn't mean to say so much before this chapter, but I guess that's what happens when I get writer's block! Hope you all enjoy it, it was a pain in the ass to write!**

 **Disclaimer: Ha, I wish.**

 **Chapter 12**

While Lily slept fitfully, curled into his side in the afternoon sunlight, James was still trying to curb his temper –and considering what she'd confessed about her confrontation, it was proving to be extremely difficult –an hour later. _How dare he treat her that way. No one should be able to treat someone else like that, let alone someone like her –someone kind, gentle and caring. Lily is the most strongest-willed person I've ever met –including Sirius –so who the bloody hell cave him the sodding right to be so possessive over her? He never deserved to call her a friend. She's the most incredibly perceptive person I know, but she never saw him for the slime ball git that he is. She can make her own decisions –including that he's no longer worth her effort, and that she doesn't want to date me._ James caught himself staring almost wistfully at her while she slept –at the way her mouth was slightly upturned in the corners, the rosiness to her cheeks, her long, dark eyelashes against her pale skin, and what had to be the most adorable amount of freckles he'd ever seen, spanning across her check bones and her nose –and tried to shake the feelings of despair off.

 _As much as I wish she'd change her mind, Lily wouldn't be Lily if she wasn't stubborn. I'll take being friends over me ruining everything again. I need her in my life, and I'll just have to settle for whatever way she can stand me in hers. Maybe I'll try again after Hogwarts, but she needs a friend more than anything right now, and I don't know what I'd do if she went back to hurling insults, jinxes_ and _punches at me._

That train of thought brought James back to thinking about how Lily had punched Snape in the nose, and he was glad that it was Snape's nose rather than his –it probably was broken, knowing Lily's punches.

When Lily had confessed what Snape had said about her, and James and Sirius getting into her knickers only to move on, James' jaw had clenched so hard that it still ached, even two hours later. If he'd have stopped to consider Snape hearing about the party, he'd have assumed that Snape would've made those comments to James and Sirius, like he usually did at school. He knew that he'd have taken the comments, cursed the slimy git –he was thinking bright purple hair –and have been on his way. _It's not the first time Snape's made a comment about us like that._ He thought, looking down at the beautiful red head curled into his side once more. _But this is the first time that he's confronted_ her _about them, rather than me. And it had better be the bloody last._

Trying to distract himself from his feelings, he stroked the rose scented red hair that was sprawled over both his chest and the pillow, continuing to rub her back like he'd been doing for hours. He tried to shift his weight into a more comfortable position without waking the redhead, and managed to come close enough to lying down that he fell asleep, with thoughts of her, Snape and himself still swirling in his mind, gripping her closely to himself as if assuring himself that she was still there.

* * *

As Lily slowly woke up, she nestled further into the warmth emanating from right beside her. Something pulled her closer, and now the warmth was encompassing her once again, along with a smell of pine, soap, home and some sort of spice she couldn't quite place. Breathing the strange yet comforting smell in, she relaxed as a smile of drowsy contentment appeared on her face. As her sleepiness slowly abated, she confusedly looked around her. _Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!_ She thought. She looked at the from of the boy sleeping beside her, –of course her bloody right leg was thrown over him, along with her arm, because that just made everything bloody _peachy_ –noticed that his right arm was currently being used to support her as she rested her head on his chest, and that the wonderful smell was in fact emanating from the boy that was sleeping soundly under her. With her head on his chest, she could hear his steady heartbeat and feel the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest as he slept on, completely unaware of the danger facing them if her parents happened to walk in on them. _Sodding bloody shit!_

She looked over James' chest at the clock on her nightstand and breathed a sigh of relief; it was only seven o'clock at night. 'James.' She whispered, prodding the boy in the chest as she herself sat up. 'James, wake up.' She poked him again and listened to him groaning as he tried to roll over. 'James.'

'Whaddya wannttt Padfoooott?' He grumbled, as he felt around for his discarded glasses, which had fallen to the floor. When he finally found them, he looked around confusedly, until he saw Lily stretching beside him on the bed. 'Lily?' Trying to ignore the stretching almost killed him, as the back of her shirt rode up and revealed a lean, pale stretch of skin that felt too intimate for him to be privy to.

After successively averting his eyes, he finally recalled the reasoning for him falling asleep in her bed and was torn between offering more comforting words or pretending like nothing happened. Deciding to follow her lead, he looked at the clock and turned very pale. 'Shit, Lily, I'm so sorry. I can talk to your parents if it'll help.' He said, looking nervous and determined at the same time.

Lily gave a humorless laugh and shook her head. 'It's fine, James. You don't have to.'

'If it'll help, Lils, it's the least I can do.' He promised. When Lily gave another humorless laugh, James looked at her oddly; he'd never heard her laugh like that, and he found it sounded unnerving coming from her mouth. _Merlin, when she laughs like that she sounds like Sirius does when he talks about his family_. He thought, still confused as to the reasoning behind her bitter laugh.

'James, my parents won't be home for another hour at least. Petunia usually comes home pushing her curfew, so she's not usually walking in the door before eleven. We're fine.' She had her back to him, and so all he had to base his observations on her mood were centered on her tone. Surprised at hearing her voice being so hollow, he wasn't quite sure as to what to say. He would've expected that she seemed more resenting rather than indifferent, and it pained him to see her so accepting of her situation. Feeling like she would react the same way Sirius had if he prodded her with questions about her home life, –Sirius had turned into Padfoot and started resolutely ignoring him, curling up on the floor and staring at him; and while he wasn't expecting Lily to turn into an animal, he _did_ think she would refuse to talk to him –he decided to turn the conversation onto safer grounds. 'Are you hungry?'

'Starved.' She said sheepishly.

'Good. Me too.' While James wasn't particularly hungry, he knew her well enough to know that she'd refuse to let someone cook for her, even if he could hear her stomach growling. Smiling shyly when she realized he heard it, she briefly ran a brush through her disheveled hair before wrapping it up in a messy bun, securing it with a spare pen on her desk.

'What on earth are those?' He asked, staring at the various pens and pencils that littered her desk.

'I'll explain over food.' She chuckled.

After seeing her smile, he decided that not questioning had been the best tactic. Once he fixed his rumpled clothes and exited her bedroom, he managed to get lost on his way to the kitchen. Laughing, Lily grabbed his hand and pulled him downstairs, leading him towards the kitchen, oblivious of his hand still clasped in hers.

* * *

Once James got home, he tried to sneak upstairs to his bedroom, a task which proved difficult when he was bombarded in the foyer by his mother.

' _James Charlus Potter_!' His mother's anger could be heard a mile away whenever she yelled at him, but it was especially terrifying when she used his full name–named after his Great Uncle Charlus Potter, who had passed away the year before James was born –and he was surprised that she had not lost her voice after five solid minutes of her shouting. 'How DARE you leave like that! No note, no nothing –out of my mind with worry – never, as long as I've lived–' Mrs. Potter's face was red after all the yelling, even though James knew she was no where near finished and that it was only going to get worse –his suspicions were confirmed after Sirius and his Father hurried in to the foyer, quickly followed by Remus and Peter, apparently having heard the screams that Mrs. Potter was emitting.

'We had no idea where you were –' contributed Mr. Potter, looking dangerously calm.

'And you left me to starve all day, you prat!' Sirius bellowed, tackling James to the floor. Surprised, James landed breathlessly on the marble floor, his best mate on top of him. James breathed in relief as Sirius was yanked off of him by his Father, but quivered when he met his mother's glare –it reminded him almost exactly of Lily's.

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to run off on you, I thought Twitch would've said where I'd gone.' He tried to suppress a smile of gratitude as to the fact that Twitch did not, in fact tell his parents his whereabouts, claiming only that he'd gone to help a friend –he didn't particularly want his parents to know he'd gone to help Lily, and he knew the Marauders wouldn't tell, but that was more so that they could tease him in peace about it later. Turning to Sirius, he grumbled under his breath so that only the four Marauders could hear 'Sirius, I'm sure you didn't starve –and after you falling on me, I hope that you do starve, if only to drop fifteen pounds. Fat ass.' Sirius punched James on the shoulder and after the chuckling of Peter and Remus subsided, James addressed his parents once again. 'I didn't mean to worry you, I honestly thought I'd be back before you got home.'

'Why weren't you then?' His mother asked, narrowing her eyes. _Shit_. James had hoped she wouldn't ask that, knowing that she wouldn't be pleased with an _"I fell asleep."._

'Lost track of time, I guess.' He shrugged, hopeful that everyone would buy it –but after seeing Sirius' shoulders shake from repressed sniggers, he knew that not everyone had.

'Very well. We'll talk more about this later, James; go to your room.' Recognizing the dismissal, James made his way over to the staircase and went upstairs. Once he reached the landing, Mrs. Potter called out to him and said, somewhat slyly, 'I hope Lily is okay.' Somewhat dumbfounded –he thought he'd concealed her identity rather well –James closed his bedroom door the booming laughter of Sirius and the sniggers of Remus and Peter ringing throughout the house.


	13. Chapter 13

**This chapter kind of did whatever the hell it wanted, refused to be written, and then taking the storyline in a completely different direction than what was intended. Needless to say, I'm still not entirely pleased with it, but it was a bastard to write and so I'm done.**

 **So, I'm really sorry for updating so late, but this chapter was absolutely horrid, and I'm not entirely pleased with the outcome –but it's time to admit defeat and move on to the next one. So I hope that you don't mind too much the garbage, I desperately hope that the next one will be much better!**

 **Disclaimer: I freaking wish.**

 **Chapter 13**

 _Do you know the feeling, where you realize that you've fallen in love with a voice?_

 _Not necessarily the person, the person themselves may hold no appeal, but it's the voice that you just can't get over. When you hear it, you breath catches; your heart batters, and your pulse races. But once you remember who's speaking, where the words are coming from, and the person that will always come attached to the voice, you may not feel anything. The moment passed, you move on with your life, and go back to whatever you were doing before the offending person opened their mouth._

 _But. Deep down, in a place where you know no one else will ever find out, where you know it will be safe, you relish the sounds that one person can make, the way the voice lifts for certain syllables, and drops for the end. How one person's voice can sound like crackling wood on a bonfire, and creamy hot chocolate during a fall rain. How one voice can have such an effect on you that you can't even grasp it. You just stand there, mouth open and gaping. You start to become worried that you'll attract attention, so against your heart, you turn away and put your headphones back in, go back to your friends' conversations, to the book you were reading, to the homework you were doing. You turn back to your world, where you know that that voice will never surprise you, and never sweep you off your feet. When you hear the voice speaking in tones of love and laughter, you wish to hear your name mixed in, longing to hear how it will sound, knowing deep down that that will never happen, but still wishing to hear it. To hear that voice, for the rest of your life. You keep all of this from your friends, siblings and parents, because you know they wouldn't understand. They'll think that you like the person, even when you try to tell them otherwise. They'll tease you, imitate the voice, but it hurts to hear them even trying to mimic it, because you know they do it so much better. And besides, their imitations just ends up making your ears bleed._

 _This is what it's like when James Potter hears Lily Evans' voice, only for him, it's ten times worse. It's ten times worse because he already feels something for the bearer of the voice; he longs for the girl with that voice to surprise him, long for her to pronounce his name in tones of love and endearment, and longs to be surrounded by that voice, her voice, for the rest of his life. He longs for her voice, but he's just as desperate for the girl attached to it as well._

* * *

After James left, Lily did everything she could to try to clear her mind. She tried her usual methods –hot cup of tea, a long shower, even curling up in bed with a favorite book –but nothing cleared the rattling thoughts parading around her head. By the time her parents came home, they found her curled up on her bed, the light still on and her open book clutched in her hands, while she was fast asleep and feeling as lonely and confused as ever.

Lily didn't know how or why, but after the events of those two days, she found herself more content with her camaraderie -if you could call it that -with James Potter; but that still does not mean that she felt entirely at ease with the entire situation, especially after she'd sobbed all over his shoulder. _Merlin, it'll take me ages before I can even make eye contact with him without blushing embarrassingly._ She groaned. _Knowing that you make whale sounds when you cry is ten times worse when someone else finds out_. Whenever memories arose of that day, Lily tried to ignore the painful recollections and confusing thoughts buzzing around her head whenever possible. Consequently, she resorted to furiously cleaning the house whenever she needed a distraction –which was often.

'Come on, Lils! It's quidditch; you have to come.' Marlene had walked over to the Evans' early on a Thursday morning near the end of July; it might've been because her friend had woken her up before nine that Lily had refused to let her friend in, resorting to them both arguing lightly with each other on Lily's front porch.

'Marls, I already have plans for today. Maybe next time, huh?' She asked hopefully, going to close the door on the friend that was currently frowning impatiently.

'Lils, you and I both know that you haven't had plans since the party-,' Lily tried to look upset at the comment, but Marlene responded before she could even voice her suspicions 'please, we both know it's true; all you do is clean (ew) –and that you've been hiding from everyone -especially James -because of what happened. An afternoon of quidditch would do you some good, you know…'

'Yes, I'm sure it would, but not an afternoon of quidditch at the _Potter's_ ' She said, finally walking away from the open door, effectively letting her friend inside. Making her way to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee, she muttered curses directed at Marlene under her breath, all of which included somewhere that it was only eight o'clock in the morning. Calling out to Marlene with her back still turned, Lily growled 'Marlene, you should know by now that if really want me to do something, don't piss me off and don't wake me up.'

'Merlin, Lils. You're grouchier than even Remus is in the mornings.' Lily jumped, effectively dropping the milk –therefore spilling the entirety of its contents on the kitchen floor –as Sirius emerged from the hallway behind Marlene and they both made their way to the kitchen table. 'And just as clumsy as James too, apparently. Duly noted.' He said with a grin.

'Marlene! What the hell?' Lily demanded. She then realized that all she was wearing at the moment were pajama shorts and a white t-shirt, and that she did not, in fact have a bra on –which happened to be quite evident due to the white t-shirt. She yelped before bolting upstairs to change, slamming her bedroom door as she did so.

'Well. That sounds like Peter.' Sirius and Marlene chuckled, waiting for the redhead to emerge.

Once Lily cooled her temper and listened to what the two teenagers seated at her kitchen table had to say, she grudgingly admitted that they both made quite a lot of sense. Sure, she loved the feeling of flying; sure, she hasn't flown in ages and it kills her every time she thinks about it; and _fine_ , maybe she had been avoiding everyone after the ordeal with Snape, but in her opinion, it was just better that way. Easier, almost. Her fallout with Snape at Hogwarts had been very different from the one at the park; it seemed less personal –the insults didn't hit quite as close to home, there were no tears visibly shed, and neither saw the other's pain. This time, punches had been thrown, insults were launched, and secrets exposed with a brutal force while bitter tears streamed down her face and pain shown brilliantly in his. In short, it was about as personal as that type of thing could get.

Marlene and Sirius had come in the hopes of bringing her out of her despair, and knew that the only way to do such a thing was large amounts of chocolate and quidditch –thus, quidditch and copious amounts of chocolate were apparently awaiting Lily's arrival at the Potter's. James, on his part, did not reveal the details of her confrontation with the black-haired Slytherin, stating merely that it was her business to divulge to whomever she pleases –but that there was a high possibility of him punching Severus in the face the next time he saw him. And so, after considering her options, Lily found that chocolate and quidditch didn't sound all that bad –especially since she knew that Marlene and Sirius would drag her over there if necessary, and she'd rather retain some fragment of dignity.

* * *

Panting, Sirius raced through the air on the rigorous drill that James had them going through –since their Hogwarts letters arriving last Tuesday, he'd been almost impossible to deal with once he'd known for sure that he was the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain –and almost fell off his broom when he looked over his shoulder; usually when James ran them through this particular drill, Sirius was in the lead, with either Marlene or Frank following a medium-distance away, and Remus shooting lazily around the pitch –he was always unable to be on the team do to his furry little problem and the accompanying symptoms that would make flying more dangerous than what the school was comfortable.

Only today, while Sirius was still in the lead, and Marlene and Frank were still trying to catch up to him a few meters away, _Lily Evans_ was almost passing him. _Since when does that ever happen?_ He felt the air shift, and knew without looking over his shoulder that she was right beside him now. Smiling now, he did something that he knew she would not be able to resist; he challenged her to a race. He heard a laugh carried over by the wind and, smiling to himself once more, he speed off in an attempt to catch up with the redhead whose laughter taunted him.

* * *

James was barely able to contain his awe and glee of the girl flying directly above him; awe because after everything she was going through with her family –and especially after everything with Snape –she could still laugh; and Merlin, it was a glorious laugh. Glee because he couldn't wait to see her face when she saw the broom he had gotten her –he'd promised himself that he'd track down McGonagall as soon as he mounted the steps to Hogwarts in September to give it to Lily anonymously so that she'd be able to play for the team, free of guilt. Knowing Lily, that was the only way she'd accept, and knowing McGonagall –who was desperate to keep the Quidditch Trophy in her office for as long as she could –she'd do it voluntarily just to keep it out of Slughorn's chubby fingers.

When James saw Remus land on the grass a few yards away, he wandered over towards his friend.

'Oi, Moony, did you see Evans up there? She was beating Padfoot for a while there.'

'When isn't she beating up Padfoot?' He asked, smiling and apparently unaware of the race that had taken place.

'No, you prat, I meant in the race. Padfoot challenged her –and she was winning for a while, but then she kind of went above the clouds and Padfoot raced ahead.'

'I bet you she still wins though.' He chuckled, unsurprised at his friends' antics. Remus had always had a feeling that Lily and Sirius would get on pretty well; James is pretty good at befriending people who are companionable with each other, and they seem to have a knack for finding holes in the rules, even if Lily goes about it more subtly. –Remus doubted even James knew just what all Lily has gotten away with. It definitely helps that Lily picks her battles well enough to differentiate between a worthy cause and a dubious one. Remus just hoped that they didn't kill each other first.

* * *

'So technically, knowing that a tomato is a fruit is being knowledgeable about the definition of fruit.' Remus impatiently explained to Sirius, after a lengthy debate on the topic that Remus had grown extremely tired of.

'But you wouldn't put a tomato in a fruit salad, so how is it still a fruit?' Sirius wondered, hiding his sly smirk with his hair.

'Wait, does that make ketchup a smoothie?' Interrupted Peter, who had wandered into their conversation some time ago.

'No Pete, not if you use common sense, ya nasty.' James laughed, clapping Peter on the back as he walked over to the arm chair and threw himself down, opening a book as he did so. Still feeling rather confused, Peter had just opened his mouth when – 'Oi, Prongs. Whachya got there?' Sirius demanded, launching himself into the lap of his best mate to prohibit any possible escape routes to his inquiries.

'None of your business, Padfoot. Sod off.' He said, trying to heave the offending boy off of his lap.

'Is it a book? Oh, it _is_ a book!' Sirius exclaimed rather haughtily, earning him a whack to the back of the head curtsey of James.

'I didn't even know you could read, Prongs.' Sniggered Peter.

'Boys! The lawn needs de-gnoming!' Called Mrs. Potter. 'Hurry up, and try not to learn any new swear words from them? Remus and Peter's mothers weren't too impressed last time.'

'Mom, that was three years ago. I think we've learnt them all by now!' Joked James, calling down to his mother as he finally effectively dumped Sirius, who was swearing profusely, on the floor. 'Especially Remus.' He muttered, sending the werewolf a mock glare that left the boy smirking and swaggering out of the room ahead of them all.

'And Lily says he never swaggers!' Sirius protested in tones of disbelief, picking himself up off of the floor with a huff.


	14. Chapter 14

**Even if I post some chapters that I'm really not content with, it's usually with the idea that at least I update relatively on schedule and that I can always go back and revise it later. (Chapter 1 was almost completely rewritten once upon a time) I have absolutely no intention as of this moment to abandon this story (both my Gryffindor-pride refusing me to, as well as the indignation and shame that I would feel as an avid reader to present a story without some semblance of an ending) and that doesn't seem likely to change. If anyone has any ideas on how to improve my previous chapters, or even and ideas on what you'd like to see in the future, I'd really appreciate it if you dropped me a review or even a PM, and I just want to reassure everyone of this (shout out to the person who encouraged me in a review as to keep writing, as well to all others who have sent me a review as well –they really do make my day, and I appreciate every single one. I value everything you guys do, and I want to make that abundantly clear. So THANK YOU once again.**

 **A big thanks to everyone that has reviewed, followed and favorited; it means the world to me and I want you all to know how very grateful I am of it. Thank you!**

 **Disclaimer: If I was the creator of this amazing world, then surely I'd be able to afford all of the fandom merchandise that comes with it; unfortunately, I'm not and so I can't.**

 **Chapter 14**

Lily Evans was nervous. It was a nail biting–hands shaking–heart pounding level of nervous; but she was also excited, because while it was true that she was leaving one home, she was also returning to another –which would understandably cause many mixed emotions to arise within her.

The rest of the summer had passed in a whirlwind of spending time with friends and playing quidditch at the Potter's, and Lily found that it had been much more enjoyable than it was in the beginning, and a hell of a lot less lonely. (Marlene suspected that the Marauders and their steady relationship with pranks had something to do with it, as she'd never seen her friend laugh more, but she'd never voice her opinion aloud until she made sure that Lily was nowhere near a pillow.)

And so, after returning from Diagon Alley last week with all of her new supplies, Lily had spent the vast majority of her time packing for Hogwarts. In her opinion, it proved to be a nice way of avoiding her own internal conflicts that her returning to Hogwarts would prompt, even if they were all in her head.

While she knew that her parents would be fine without her, and that Petunia would be rather delighted that she was leaving, Lily wasn't comfortable in the sense that she wouldn't be there immediately, should her mother need someone to vent to; or that she'd be unavailable to her father whenever he wanted to pull something over on her mom that required more than one person; but most of all, Lily was upset that once again, she was leaving Petunia behind, who'd then be free to fester in her growing fury and indignation towards her sister without interference from Lily –their mother tried, but that only fueled Petunia's rage more, as she thought that Lily had their parents wrapped around her finger. Lily hated giving up on someone –Snape being the perfect example –unless they gave her no other choice.

She firmly believed that there were two versions of anger; wet anger, which is when your eyes water and your voice shakes and you can't see in front of you due to of all of the tears shed all because you care too much; and then there's dry anger, which is when your face is like stone and your voice is sharp and it just shows that you're done. While Lily did not believe in abandoning family, Petunia refused anything that Lily could do, effectively forsaking everything that Lily offered. If the sisters stayed in the same room for more than an hour, tears would consequently be shed, doors slammed and voices haggard; Lily took this hoping it meant that it was because they both cared too much, therefore resorting to wet anger, rather than Petunia was done with her sister –but that didn't mean that it was any less upsetting to deal with.

Therefore, while Lily would miss home and her family, she was looking forward to the distraction that Hogwarts provided, as well as the support and reliability that her friends offered her.

It was with a sigh of relief when Lily crossed over onto Platform 9¾ on September 1st, having already said goodbye to her parents on the Muggle platform. Straightening herself, Lily glanced around the platform nervously, looking for her friends.

Spotting the Marauders was no difficult task, as she could clearly hear shouts of surprise and howling laughter, just Sirius came into view, in the middle of falling all over the place. Once he returned to a standing position, he could be seen hopping around, clutching his left foot, and the three other boys doubled up laughing. Smiling to herself, she walked over to them, a question already formed and ready to drop from her mouth.

* * *

James had been a tornado of mixed emotions as the summer neared to a close. While he knew that he'd miss his parents, he wanted to get back to school, wanted to get back into the normal routine of quidditch, pranking, classes and friends that only Hogwarts could offer. However, he wasn't a fan of being separated from his parents with dangers surrounding his father's vocation and was worried for him accordingly –and no because he didn't think his father couldn't handle the threats, but rather that James would be left in the dark if something were to happen until it was no longer a security risk to send word to the Potter heir at school. Whenever he caught himself thinking about Hogwarts with longing, he'd mentally berate himself for being so selfish.

With the Hogwarts Express leaving in two days, the Marauders had gone to Diagon Alley over the weekend with Mrs. Potter to get all of their supplies, even though no one but Remus had actually started packing –the morning of September the first left the three boys rushing rather hurriedly, finally resorting them to just empty drawers and the closets into their trunks and hope for the best. Too many times, Remus would find something that was forgotten –like the invisibility cloak –and would wordlessly hold it out until one of the others noticed it, a full smirk on his face broadened by the every-accompanying 'Piss off, Moony' that always followed.

Once all six of them arrived at the Platform, however, James gave up chastising himself as he relaxed around his friends and found ways to amuse himself while waiting for everyone else to show up; mainly, by pranking Sirius.

As Sirius took the final step that brought him alongside James, the black-haired boy discreetly waved his wand in a sweeping motion that was hidden under his robes. Once Sirius felt the subtle difference to his foot, he was too late to stop himself from falling over. _Ah, the beauty of removing one's toes always brings a smile to my face!_ James chuckled to himself, and outright laughed when he saw Sirius' look of indignation when the other Marauders joined in, laughing far more loudly and having to hold themselves upright on each other to keep from falling to the ground. Their laughter only increased when Sirius had to resort to holding his foot and hopping around, just to refrain from falling once again.

'James, what did you do?' Lily approached, trying to hide a smile. After James could've sworn he saw her lips twitch, he was positive he could see her shoulders shaking.

'Oi, _Prefect Evans_! That prat over there jinxed my toes off! Stick him in a month's worth of detentions!' Sirius howled with a wicked grin, pointing an accusing finger at his best friend, while continuing his hopping.

'Sorry, Sirius, we aren't officially at school. I can't give out detentions until _after_ the feast.' She said with a huge wink, hoping the boys weren't clueless enough as to ignore her hint. She knew that even if they were, Remus himself as a prefect would catch on to her meaning, or at least remember that particular rule. 'I can, however, charm them back.' While she did as promised, Marlene walked over to join them. She looked around curiously as Sirius sent glares towards his friends' innocent expressions until the train gave its warning whistle for everyone to embark. After all of the Marauders hugged Mrs. Potter goodbye and Mr. Potter ruffled James' hair –much to his wife's annoyance, as she herself was always trying to tame it –they all boarded the train. Lily called out to Alice and Dorcas along the way, telling them all that she'd find them after the Prefect's meeting. As she and Remus left once their trunks were stowed in the usual Marauder Compartment, James was silently marveling at the difference a summer can make.

* * *

Once they got over the stuffiness of the Prefect's meeting, Lily found that it wasn't as enjoyable as it had been last year. That was mainly due to the fact that she could feel Severus glaring at her throughout the entire meeting. She shivered as she avoided his eyes, and tried to concentrate on the Head Boy and Girl's speech.

As she focused on them, Lily examined Victoria Russell and Nicolas Levant and noticed how awkward they seemed around the other. She recognized Victoria as the sixth year Ravenclaw Prefect from last year, and found herself surprised that the Head Boy was the Hufflepuff Perfect; she had been expecting Matthew Johnson, the now-seventh year Gryffindor Prefect for the position. Apparently she wasn't the only one, as many heads had turned when he walked in with the Head's Badge pinned to his robes, and many murmurs went through the room as it became apparent that Matthew Johnson wasn't even in the room. When she saw Mark Jordan, another Gryffindor seventh year come in, the entire group had to look away to be able to hide their shocked expressions; it was almost as unheard of a new seventh year Prefect as it was as a Head not being a Prefect before, let alone the fact that he seemed to have been there to fulfill Matthew's responsibilities. _Huh. I'll talk to the Marauders and Marlene about that. Maybe they'll have heard what happened to Matt._ Lily wondered, making eye contact with Remus before they both turned away, equally puzzled expressions on their faces.

By the time Lily and Remus had returned to their compartment and rejoined their friends, Lily was feeling absolutely exhausted. Deciding that the conversation about the two seventh-year Gryffindors could wait till later, she leaned up with her back pressed against the window, surveying her friends humorous antics as her eyes drooped sleepily. She shivered, and, keeping her eyes closed the entire time, shifted in her seat before she found a warm spot, and pressed her entire body into the seat. As she fell asleep, she smelt something instantly comforting, if not immediately familiar; a smell of pine, soap, home and a combination of spices that had her clinging to it as she slouched and let all the tension of the summer out of her with an sigh of contentment.

* * *

James had no idea how long the redhead had been asleep curled into his side, but the addictive smell of roses was rapidly driving him insane. Alice, Frank and Peter made no comment, though he could see the blonde's eyes twinkle rather like Professor Dumbledore's, while Remus and Dorcas looked on somewhat contemplatively and Marlene and Sirius just smirked at him every chance they could get. Sometimes it surprised him how alike their friends were, even as he cursed the day that a female counterpart to Sirius started sassing everyone. (He was terrified whenever Lily and Marlene had _synced_ , as that was one week of the month that he had to practically walk around the castle with his shield charm up 24/7.)

As the Marauders finished their final details for the Welcoming Prank in whispered conversations, James felt Lily shift lightly in her sleep. He looked down at her and gave a small smile when he saw that the girl had wrapped her arms around his torso as she curled herself into a ball on his side, with her head resting half on her arms and half on his left thigh. He was able to wrap the odd end of his cloak around her and he had to resist chuckling as he hear her mutter something about waffles and spiders not being a very good mix. _It seems like she's a sleep talker_. He thought tenderly, with a small happy smile on his face. In doing so, he missed the looks that passed between his friends, and was soon asleep himself.

* * *

By the end of the train ride, Marlene was feeling very frustrated with her best friend. Looking at James while he looked on almost adoringly at Lily had almost killed Marlene, who usually found herself more likely to mimic gagging gestures in similar cases. She knew that Lily only spoke in her sleep if she was feeling extremely relaxed and comfortable, and she also knew that it was probably the first time she had done so the entire summer. _And of course she does it in the lap of James bloody Potter_. Marlene would have almost pitied their friends for their naivety at thinking they could always be 'just friends', even if the ginger wasn't actually fancying the boy yet –she knew that James would be just as bad, probably trying to convince himself that he would never be worth Lily's affections, that he'd probably try to keep being friends no matter how much they wanted to snog the other. Her pity would have been grater however, if she didn't want to strangle them both for the entire thing.

As the lights slowly gained in their brightness, the group of Gryffindors realized that they must be approaching Hogwarts soon. Slipping on her robes, Marlene watched curiously as James woke up Lily. Fully expecting a jinxing of some sort, Marlene was surprised when Lily just blushed sheepishly and stretched, much to James obvious discomfort. She averted her eyes to keep from laughing as she saw Alice and Dorcas doing the same, both obviously expecting the same reaction as Marlene herself.

They all gathered their things and headed over towards the carriages. As the group boarded a carriage, the nine Gryffindors all sported rather contagious grins at coming back once again. No matter what their home lives were like, they all considered Hogwarts to be home, even if it was a second one, and they were all delighted that it was welcoming them home once more.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own neither Harry Potter nor the characters created by Warner Bros, but I enjoy using them against their knowledge for my own, sick and twisted pleasures. Hope it's universal.**

 **Chapter 15**

James was feeling ecstatic. Surrounded by his friends, he looked around the Great Hall with complete admiration for his surroundings, company included –aside, of course, from the Slytherins. After the sorting was completed, the Marauders gave everyone just barely enough time to take fill their plates of the annual Hogwarts Feast before their prank began. With a wink to Sirius, Remus and Peter, James waved his wand under the table and waited.

At first, nothing happened. Everyone continued gossiping and catching up with old friends, taking hesitant bites of their food as they wondered what the Marauders had planned for this year's Welcoming Prank –last year, the food had been enchanted so that as the students started eating, the platters and plates of food would explode in everyone's faces. This year, it seemed that the Marauders had once again thought that keeping the students on their toes was worth it and thusly decided to do something different. The student had just started to relax when they heard a squeaky voice.

'I thought I saw a putty cat! I did! I did saw a putty cat!' The students glanced around the great hall, perplexed at the loud voice that surrounded them, and yet none had an idea where it originated from.

'The itty widdle putty cat. He come to pway with me! Come pway wiff me putty cat! We play tag now, Putty cat!' A yellow bird the size of a house cat could now be seen standing just in front of the teacher's table and was accompanied by a large, black and white cat with a pink nose. The bird proceeded to conjure a hammer out of nowhere, and hammered the cat in the nose, before the hammer once again disappeared. 'Wook! Putty cat is it!' With that, the yellow bird hurried away from the cat, just as a large blush of anger crossed over his rather squashed face.

Screams and laughter soon ran throughout the hall, as the bird tried to fly –which looked quite hilarious, as it could barely do more than flutter its wings; the bird ended up looking like a riled up chicken as it hopped from table to table, splattering food on nearby students as he tried to escape the large cat chasing him. The laughter spread until it reached earsplitting levels, only to be ceased when the bird cause a plate of mashed potatoes to land squarely on the head of a miss Lily Marie Evans. The hall fell silent, everyone muffling their gasps as they saw the redheaded girl stand and make her way over to the trembling group of Marauders and all were completely oblivious to the cat chase going on, as both cat and bird slowly began to fade away.

'POTTER!' Lily bellowed, approaching the horrified boy.

'Hi, um, Lily, look, I'm really sorry that wasn't supposed to happen I swear don't jinx me!' He finished with a wince, hiding his face behind his hands. The moment he peeked, however, he let forth a squeal and a curse. 'Evans, DON'T YOU BLOODY DARE -ARGH! EVANS!' James roared, as gravy slipped down his head and pooled in his eyes, ears, nose and mouth.

The entire hall held their expectantly held their breath, still waiting for Lily to start yelling, or, even better, start jinxing. They were sorely disappointed, however, when she did neither of those things. All that Lily Evans was able to do was desperately try to contain her laughter, at which she failed miserably. As her guffaws of laughter rang throughout the hall, James picked up a platter of chicken wings and approached her, wiping the gravy out of his eyes with a shake of his head.

'James, don't even think about it. James don't –POTTER! ARGH!'

With a shriek that sounded more animal than human, Lily launched herself at table, and then proceeded to launch the gathered food at James while he tried shielding himself with the empty plate from the chicken wings.

'FOOD FIGHT!' Bellowed Sirius, and immediately held Moony from the back of the head and dunked his friend's face into his own plate of food.

* * *

McGonagall was furious. Her own students did this. _Gryffindors_ were responsible for completely trashing the Great Hall, and it was only the first night back. Not only that, but it wasn't just the Marauders that were to blame – _Lily Evans_ had not only helped, but had actively _participated_. In all of her days, Minerva McGonagall never expected that Evans, a Prefect with a blazing temper and the ability to hold one of the greatest grudges she had ever seen against someone –James –had helped a group of boys –including James –in initiating a food fight –more like war –against the rest of the school.

Once Dumbledore waved his wand and all of the food disappeared, everyone settled in the Great Hall, pretty quickly. After describing all of that years' forbidden objects –all of which McGonagall suspected to be distributed between four Gryffindor boys' trunks' –Dumbledore dismissed them all to their common rooms, promising that an assortment of sandwiches would be provided. While the rest of the school dispersed –rather quickly, she might add –McGonagall had marched herself down to the nine Gryffindor students who had been by far the most enthusiastic in the battle.

Grabbing Marlene and Sirius by the ears, much to their complaining, she dragged them all along to her office.

* * *

'We only got off that easy because Dumbledore intervened. I mean, he was having as much fun as the rest of us; I could've sworn I saw him dump some carrots on McGonagall.' Remus laughed as the Gryffindors trekked up to their common room, smiling despite the docking of thirty points and the two weeks of detention that had been deemed necessary punishment.

'That might've been why McGonagall was so wound up then.' Smiled Dorcas, as she happily skipped on beside them. Trust in Dorcas to always be in a good mood after a fight.

'She didn't have to tug so hard on my ears though.' Grumbled Sirius.

'Sirius, that's only because the last time she had to resort to dragging you by the ears, she didn't hold on hard enough and you broke away and decided to play hide-and-seek with our Head of House!' Laughed Marlene.

'Oi, I did no such thing! But I totally won.'

'Actually, you didn't. She was waiting for you inside the kitchens, remember?' Said Peter.

'And everyone could hear her yelling seven floors up.' Shuddered Remus, soon to be followed by everyone else.

Nearing the dormitory, James picked up the conversation once more.

'You know what, I'm just glad I didn't get hexed.' Chuckled James, looking at Lily questioningly.

'And I'm just glad you gave me an excuse to dump gravy all over you. Merlin, I've been waiting since third year for that chance.' Lily exclaimed, a dazzling grin covering her face as she pushed open the portrait to the Fat Lady.

They were greeted with cheers as they entered the common room, causing each and every one of them to smile affectionately towards their house and its occupants. It was good to be home.

* * *

 **A/N: I know it's a short chapter, but I just wanted to end it here so that I could pick it up later on in the story. Shouldn't be too long between now and the next chapter, I have Spring Break to look forwards to next week, which promises lots of opportunities to write.**

 **In the next chapter, I'm hoping to include Quidditch tryouts (last chance to vote on which position you think Lily should play) and maybe Halloween stuff, but it all depends –I usually just let my writing take me where it wants to go, so long as it follows my loosely constructed plot line.**

 **Any and all input is more than welcomed, please don't be shy. Thank you to all those who have taken the time to do so, and please keep it up!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A big thanks to the reviews I received over the past few days, I loved the input and greatly appreciated the time that everyone took to spare me a few words. Do you guys think we can reach 20 reviews before I post the next chapter? Let's see…**

 **Disclaimer: My originality in coming up with clever Disclaimers is starting to dry up, so if I'm having that many difficulties in doing that, I highly doubt I could be the author of the HP series.**

 **Chapter 16**

 _No one could doubt that James Potter was a Gryffindor. Renown for his chivalry, bravery and perseverance, James was proud to be a Gryffindor, just like his father. James was also proud to be a Gryffindor because that meant he shared some qualities found in Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. As an only child, he grew up quite lonely and was amazed that he could love so many people at once, and that the feeling be mutual. Thankful that he could depend his life upon them, he knew that they could do likewise._

 _James Potter felt everything to its most extreme, lived life to its fullest and never looked back. He's felt guilty and tried to repair the damage done, but he'd always moved on and never made the same mistake twice. He trusted in people completely and had utmost devotion for those whom he loved. If James Potter considered you a friend, there was absolutely nothing that could stop him if he felt you needed help. He was a man who would go to the end of the earth for someone, even if they wouldn't have thought that it was necessary. While he tried to work on it, James Potter had a reputation for being rash, almost to the point of recklessness and engaging in pointless heroics. However, James would constantly disagree; it is never a pointless heroic if an impression was made, if a life saved, if a laugh uttered. James Potter wanted to please people, wanted to bring smiles on faces that were previously victim to tear tracks._

 _He set out to make people blush, causing many rumours to be spread around Hogwarts after being heard calling out pick up lines to Remus; had been seen rubbing his head against Sirius', causing both heads of hair to grow increasingly full of static; and had been heard complimenting Peter on his appearance almost daily near the end of seventh year. He did all of this because he felt sure that his friends deserved someone to show their appreciation for the fact that they existed and that they put up with his shit and that they deserve to know that he loves them so, so, so much._

 _He was always an amazing father and father figure –as many people had classified his best mate as a child, no one was surprised –and always knew the best tactic to get the tears to cease –unless it came to women, a topic of which he was absolutely worthless at (note: see Remus) –and secretly knew all the lyrics to many muggle songs, even if his absolute favourite was Don't Go Breaking My Heart –the Marauders would constantly hum it while cursing him for days after he'd belt it out in their dormitory, which he often did every weekend._

 _He wanted to make people laugh, even if they were in a time of war; even if he was constantly battling to give his wife the same level of respect that he himself had always possessed. He fought for the world he wanted his son to grow up in. He fought for equality and for justice. He fought against prejudices and racism, against judgmental people and their chauvinistic opinions. James Potter was a Gryffindor and he fought all the way to the end._

* * *

As always, the Great Hall that morning was a mass of laughter, shouting, eating and conversation. In other words, it was complete chaos. There was a level of organisation to its chaos however, and that came in the form of the High Table, and all of the professors that it sat. This only made the challenge more daring to the Marauders, the excitement in executing a prank under the eyes of McGonagall that much more appealing.

If one were to ever entre the sixth year gryffindor boys' dormitory, they would not likely know where to look first. There would be photos strewn up over the walls of course, and around every bed but one featured pictures of smiling families, that is, until third year where the wall in between two beds starting featuring family pictures that featured not one, but two smiling boys; there is a letter written during the summer after fourth year by a werewolf that has the most illegible writing that any of the boys have ever seen, and so the hand-written letter was hung up over the walls in a place of honour, having been the messiest, most illegible thing that the boy had ever written –which in itself is an achievement –and has been marked with a big red T for troll after the receiver tried to get the other members of their dormitory to decipher it, all of them failing spectacularly; there are multiple sheets pinned up across the many walls so that the boys can keep tabs on their many bets, aside from one that was hung up in the common room, betting on whether McGonagall and Dumbledore would get together or not; they have one sheet they track points on, points which are given for making good puns. One boy in particular, the werewolf with messy writing, features a rather impressive lead over the other three, the boy with glasses making a determined attempt in catching up, resolute to make it out of second place, a position in which he had remained since third year; and finally, the most conspicuous feature hung up on their walls happened to cover up the entirety on a wall, deemed as the Prank Wall. Notes, ideas and diagrams have been hastily hung up over the years, only to be removed once they have been executed, or merely pushed aside when an idea for a large and elaborate prank takes form, the shaggy haired boy and the one with glasses becoming almost OCD in their meticulous planning. Featuring magical threads linking parchment, lists of objects and people and the actions that would be required surrounding the entire thing, the boys plan out every last intimate detail to perfection before the prank is deemed ready. The only thing that has kept teachers from discovering their ideas happened to be a rather brilliant idea on the werewolf boy's part, not that that was unexpected, in which they used a spell so that only the members of the dormitory could see the ideas. When the four boys dubbed as the Marauders wanted to prank the fifth member of their dorm –which they did so carefully, as his retaliation was usually worse than the original prank –they would keep it under the bespectacled boy's bed, hidden under an invisibility cloak.

If anyone were to find a way around the spell at this very moment, they would see a meticulously planed –at least considering they did so from nine at night to four in the morning the previous night –prank, that would indeed be happening during breakfast.

* * *

As the four Marauders strolled into the Great Hall, they conjured mildly innocent expressions on their faces that were able to fool all but one person.

'What are you four up to this morning? Oh wait, I suppose I should ask first; is it safe to eat the food, or will it explode all over me?' Inquired the redhead as the boys sat down beside her. She took a sip of her coffee smirking slightly –the boys had once tried charming the coffee in her hands, but with her addiction to the caffeine, not only had she been able to identify the danger in it, but she also dumped it on the boys in retaliation; they made sure to never again attempt to prank the source of the fiery redhead's caffeine –and quirked an eyebrow when the boys clamped their mouths shut. 'No? I suppose you lot have no idea what I'm on about, right?' She stared fixedly at the bespectacled boy, waiting for him to squirm under her gaze. Knowing that her friends were always running late in the morning, he feared that he would not be saved from the redhead's temper if he continued to refuse to answer her.

'Lily, you're unbelievable, you know that?' Inquired Sirius Black, shaking his hair out of his eyes while meeting her gaze, both teenagers smiling slightly when they heard James' small sigh of relief. 'Fine. Don't touch the maple syrup, jam, eggs or orange juice and you'll be fine.' He assured her, ticking off the items on his fingers with a smug smile, innocent expression long forgotten.

Lily scoffed and turned to Remus. She looked at him pointedly, as his own expression turned from confusion to amusement. 'She wouldn't have bothered regardless. It's amazing what I subconsciously come up with at three in the morning.' He chuckled to himself. At his friends questioning glances, Remus elaborated, 'Lily isn't a big breakfast fan.' When the other Marauders started looking at him incredulously, which is understandable considering what all she made at the Potter's on the morning after the party, he found himself elaborating once again, 'Eating, I mean. She likes to cook breakfast, but she'd much rather grab an apple, a muffin, a granola bar or some other odd thing like that. Right Lils?' At her nod, Remus smirked slightly to himself while assembling his own breakfast, compromising of toast with butter, bacon, oatmeal and an apple. Secretly, Lily was rather peeved that he continued eating so little and resolved to go all force feeding his arse once again if she had to.

'What kind of person doesn't like breakfast?' Peter demanded incredulously, turning to Lily as he did so. James, who was siting beside her, started poking her in the side and on her cheek.

As she smacked his hand away, glaring halfheartedly as she did so, James confirmed his own suspicions, 'Nope. She's definitely human, though she's a bloody odd one.'

'Hey!' Lily responded, smacking him on the shoulder. Any further protests were impeded by the arrival of the post, and so James found himself treating the Ministry owl after it drooped the newspaper, even though it was left to be dunked into his cereal. As James read over the paper, his smile faded quickly. When he finally pushed the paper away in disgust, his was not the only grim face in the Great Hall that morning. The students were left subdued and shocked, panicked and terrified. Those emotions were a tangible presence that morning, as news of multiple Death Eater attacks was brought to the students attention. Many just skipped right down to the victims list, and there were more than one instance where friends could be seen comforting or leading the other out of the Great Hall, their sobs echoing in the Entrance Hall as they lost control. Even some Slytherins could be seen exiting, only their faces were masks of indifference –James would've believed their performance, if only his father wasn't an auror, and therefore hadn't been trying to hide such emotions around the boy for years.

Coming back to his senses, he looked around Gryffindor table to find many morose faces. Lily herself looked on the verge of hysterics, though he wasn't sure which emotion would win out over the others; fury, fear or panic. Even the other Marauders seemed depressed, and so, with rather forced enthusiasm, James said, 'Looks like we picked a good morning for this then.' At the nods of his fellow Marauders and the inquisitive glances coming from Lily, James waved his wand one final time and launched the prank.

BOOM!

After the initial burst of smoke had cleared, James and the others looked around the chaotic Great Hall with proud smiles on their faces. It seemed that anyone who had eaten maple syrup, jam, eggs or orange juice –which apparently happened to be almost the entire school population –was turned unknowingly into their undiscovered animagus forms. (Not their patronus forms, as they were unstable in their formation, and able to change their form depending on circumstances –falling in love, for example.)

As rabbits, giraffes, zebras, horses, hippopotamus', any other animal known to mankind, as well as various forms of dogs and cats, rampaged around the Great Hall, the Marauders were rolling off of their benches in mirth. Once they calmed down enough, they looked to the High Table were a feline McGonagall and an elephant –presumed to be Flitwick - tried to regain order. Of course, as soon as the elephant saw a mouse, the chaos was only exemplified by its screeching and attempt at fleeing. They were set off again at the sight of it all, especially when a rather flamboyant peacock –presumed to be Dumbledore –came strutting over to the boys and started pecking at their heads with bright, twinkling blue eyes.

As Lily lost herself in her own hysterics, she hollered, 'Oi Potter!' After waiting for him to make eye contact, she elaborated, 'Sod it!' As she stuffed a bite of eggs into her mouth, James watched on with awed amusement. That soon turned into surprise and fear, as she turned into a rather magnificent lioness. The lioness bore no remarkable distinct markings, aside from a few brown specs spanning across her snout (which James believed were freckles), brilliant green feline eyes and a reddish tinge to her fur, rather than a brown one. _Oh Merlin_. He swore, sharing looks of equal alarm and panic with the Marauders. _She has_ claws _now_.

'James! You gave Lily _claws_?! Do you have a death wish?' Demanded Remus, fear and amusement combining on his face.

Sirius himself had already eaten some eggs –though Lily hadn't actually seen him do so –and so Padfoot proceeded to tackle James, Peter and Remus, attacking their faces with his tongue while he repeatedly whacked the other three with his wagging tail. He had just turned towards the lioness and begun to circle her, trying to entice her into a game. His excitement suddenly disappeared, and he tensed when a small house-cat strode regal and purposeful towards them. With a hiss and a swish of her tail, the feline-McGonagall led the four boys towards her office. As they were just about to leave the Great Hall, they cast one last wistful look around and could not contain their amusement to see the peacock spread its feathers and began dancing its way across the High Table, rather enjoying himself spectacularly.

* * *

The potions wore off by three o'clock that day, as soon as classes would've ended had it been a normal Wednesday. There was more thought behind the timeline than just that, however; Gryffindor tryouts were at four that evening, and the Captain needed time to prepare everything with his team beforehand. Frankly, as James walked down towards the Quidditch Pitch, his ears still ringing from the yelling of a furious McGonagall –who had forced them to remain with her in her office until the effects of the prank wore off –he counted his blessings that she had not revoked his captaincy, even if they lost Gryffindor 20 house points.

Once everything was set up, James talked things over with his team while he waited for everyone to show. He knew that by scheduling tryouts in the middle of the second week back was rather risky –as the entire student body was steel reeling from the end of the summer and having to work extra hard in accomplishing their workloads –but he felt in doing so that those who did show up would be more inclined to take things more seriously. Once it was five past five, James decided to get things started, as he had no inclination of encouraging tardiness. Spotting bright red hair that kept on getting played with, he could see Lily's nervousness from where he stood on the Pitch. He also noticed that Marlene had leant her own broom to her feisty friend for the tryouts and he wondered just how much convincing it had required for Evans to accept the offer –James thought it would've required Marlene to sell her soul, especially considering the stubbornness that flowed in the ginger's blood.

With a silently-cast _Sonorous Charm_ , James began, 'Alright you lot, gather round! I don't want anyone on the team if they aren't serious about wanting to be there. _If you aren't dedicated, you will not last long._ I plan on starting on building up reserves this year and they will be required to attend all practices and games. I will warn you now; practices will be held three nights a week, from four until eight and on Saturdays, from one to six. Anyone who is unwilling to make their attendance to practices their priority –should they be reserves or starting –will not be around for long, so I suggest you leave now.' When a third of the crowd had disgruntledly wandered off towards the castle, leaving little over a dozen shifting worriedly, James was quick to reassure them. 'Now that we know who all is serious, practices will be held two nights a week, for three hours each, on top of a session whenever possible on Saturdays.' He grinned at the relieved expressions, especially the one gracing Lily Evans' face. He winked at her mischievously before continuing, 'I was serious in my hope to build up some reserves this year, even though we currently only need a Seeker and a Beater. We'll do tryouts for one position at a time, So; Keepers over there with Longbottom; Beaters over there with Black; Chasers over here with McKinnon; and Seekers with Meadowes.' As they dispersed, James grabbed Lily by the arm, keeping her in place. 'Not so fast, you. Try out with the Seekers first, and then move onto the Beaters. I'm almost positive which position you'll play, but I need to be certain.'

'Aye aye, Captain.' With a smirk, she sauntered over to Dorcas, hips swaying with the wind. _And she claims she doesn't saunter. As if._

* * *

James was confused. Unused to second-guessing himself, he wondered whether or not he'd made the right decision in his initial plans in regards to Lily's placement on the team.

She had flown exquisitely during her Seeker tryouts, diving and racing beautifully, even while using a slower broom. She had out-flown every hopeful for the position, even if she had difficulty in spotting the snitch at times. Six times out of ten, she got the snitch before her opponent, regardless that they had most often spotted it first. It wasn't until James saw her tryout as Beater that he was reassured. She was magnificent.

As he watched her and Sirius run through a real game situation, their task was to protect their "seeker" (who was really just Frank on a broom in the air) from bludgers so that he would be free to catch the snitch. Starting off slowly, James was still doubting his instincts over his idea of her ideal placement. As James watched Sirius and Lily circle Frank as time went on, he noticed that they soon found a rhythm that worked for each other. As they continued with the drill, their movements mirrored the others almost perfectly. He had Marlene and Dorcas trying to shoot the bludgers towards the trio as Lily and Sirius continued circling Frank. As they reacted and moved into a defensive position, they began circling the supposed seeker while twirling their bats with narrowed eyes. As a bludger aimed at Frank approached, James watched as Sirius and Lily decided who'd take it nonverbally. With a mere glance from the redhead, Sirius backed off and watched as Lily took the lead, racing over to position herself to be directly in line with the bludger, preventing it from reaching Frank whether she succeeded in batting it away or not. _She's already got good instincts for a beater and everyone knows she has amazing reflexes. Here's to hoping she's got the strength to go with it._ James watched with baited breath as Lily wound up and took a swing at the bludger. He couldn't help the yelp of glee that escaped as she launched the bludger right back at Marlene, at such a speed that Marlene had to dive to escape its trajectory, though he did try to smother it. Alice, Peter and Remus, who had all been watching the entire tryouts in the stands to show their support of their friends, did not make any such attempt in smothering their own laughter, more so at James' expense than at Lily's good aim.

Nearing the end of her tryouts, James could not even begin to explain the level of astonishment he felt at their synchronization, resorting to seemingly start vibrating on the ground in his excitement. He was pleased to see that maybe, just maybe, his practices over the summer had helped more than he thought, particularly in a building friendship between Evans and Padfoot. With one final, relived smile, James adopted his Captain Face and called everyone down with a blow of his whistle.

'Alright, you lot.' He said sternly as a small crowd gathered before him, shifting nervously. He continued, this time with a bright smile covering his face, 'That was brilliant. As a team, we want to thank each and every one of you who put in the effort to be here today. The names should be posted in the common room after dinnertime tonight with both the starting and the reserves. Come talk to me if anyone has any questions about the decisions, but I'd advise against bugging; if you want my help or my advise, do not get on my nerves. Now I suggest everyone head to the showers, because every one of you stink!'

With a few chuckles dispersed between the students, they all made their way over to the showers and then back up to the castle for the hot supper that awaited them.


	17. Chapter 17

**WARNING; extremely long A/N ahead, read if you would like to (mainly gives more information on my reasoning for certain things addressed in the previous chapter).**

 **I would like to take the time to thank a reviewer for giving me an excellent review, complete with reasons why they preferred Lily as Seeker, as well as address their views –I won't be doing this for every review, but they made some good points that I felt would be beneficial to address.**

 _HazeFest: "Still stand by my vote that she'd be a great Seeker. She had a moment where she was a lioness, a hunter. I think her spicy qualities would make her a great Seeker. She's agile. A person with a need of speed. She's patient too. All of her personality that you shaped in this story I think would make her a spontaneous and elusive Seeker. You won't expect her to strike until she sees that Snitch in the air taunting her, just like a lioness and a dancing piece meat."_

 **I will admit, I spent a long time debating her position on the team as well. However, I hope that by explaining my reasoning for her being a beater will help with the story, as well as give more development for Lily as a character;**

 **She is undoubtedly a lioness (sorry, I know that's pretty cliché, but it works out really well for how I developed her character) but as a Beater, she is still most undoubtedly a huntress. I looked into the personality of the lioness, and I found it worked both for Lily as a character as well as Lily as a beater;**

" _The lionesses are the hunters for their pride and execute their skills with precision and complex teamwork. Lionesses hunt instinctively in a cooperative fashion. When hunting in a group they fan out to surround prey and attempt to drive it toward one another. Since lions can only run 36 mph., and some of its prey can run up to 50 mph., cooperation and stealth are vital._ "

 **As much as she has a need for speed, she strategizes and overthinks everything, (see her worry that Remus had asked her out on a date) to the point that she'd rather use her speed as a hidden advantage rather than lead with it. Patience is key in aiming as well, to be certain that the projectile will go where you want it to go (coming back to her strategizing). Lionesses rely upon teamwork, a fact of which I was certain was necessary to do so with Sirius.**

 **Also, one of my main reasons for her position is that I always pictured that Lily and Sirius were close (more on that later) and that this would be a perfect opportunity to start demonstrating it. She isn't overly spontaneous, but rather that she tends to get carried away in the moment, which definitely means that she's got a competitive streak, as well as a need to prove herself –as shown when she takes the shot in the previous chapter. I also wanted to distinguish both her and James from Harry, as without his parents direct influence, he might've possessed different qualities (I imagine his constant tormenting as a child had something to do with his speed and evasive maneuvers, whereas Lily grew in her confidence before she'd try anything drastic on a broom –a self-assured and patient strategist, but a right one.)**

 **Ok, sorry for the immensely long A/N, I promise to get on with the story. Let me know what you think about anything and everything, or ask any questions you may have, either by reviewing of PM'ing me. If you have any ideas, let me know as well; I love getting input!**

 **Happy Easter/Passover for those who celebrate**

 **Disclaimer: My words are my own (and not always, as I take great pleasure in quoting stuff. Extra points goes to those that recognize them) but the world is the property of J.K. Rowling.**

 **Chapter 17**

* * *

As much as everyone knew who they wanted as beater and seeker, it took the team a lot longer to figure out the reserve team than what they had planned. As such, James went up to those that tried out to inform them that the list would be posted in the morning, but more than once ended up having to flee from a few mock-angry Gryffindors in the process –Lily going so far as threatening to jinx him, if only to be done with her nerves. Marlene had, thankfully, refused to allow Lily to use a school broom, should she make the team, but rather insisted that the redhead continue to use the Comet that Marlene had leant her during tryouts; in doing so, it lessened Lily's nerves only slightly, no longer having to worry about what broom she'd be using.

Lily descended the stairs that morning feeling worried and excited all at once. Her nerves disappeared as her smile made itself known, at least once she saw the notice for the team, drawing her attention across the common room as soon as her feet touched the floor.

 **Starting**

 _Keeper: Frank Longbottom_

 _Chaser: James Potter (C)_

 _Chaser: Marlene McKinnon_

 _Chaser: Dorcas Meadowes_

 _Beater: Sirius Black_

 _Beater: Lily Evans_

 _Seeker: Emily Sanders_

 **Reserves**

 _Keeper: Kingsley Shacklebolt_

 _Chaser: Natalie Thompson_

 _Chaser: Danielle Avers_

 _Chaser: Terry Kent_

 _Beater: Shaun Cazzion_

 _Beater: Joseph Lajoy_

 _Seeker: Nadine Boote_

* * *

As Lily made her way to breakfast that morning, she couldn't keep the grin off of her face. As she wedged herself between Marlene and Dorcas, she nudged them both with her elbows.

'You both are two of the biggest prats I've ever met.' She declared with a fake pout. 'Couldn't have told me last night, oh no! You all just _had_ to make me wait, didn't you?'

'Shut up, Evans. Or do you want to be bumped down to Reserves?' Grinned Marlene.

'You wouldn't dare!' Gasped Lily.

'Wouldn't dare to what?' Asked Remus, as he sat himself down across from the redhead. James and Sirius soon flanked him and Lily felt the bench shift as Marlene and Sirius started kicking each other violently under the table. Muffling his swearing, Sirius winced as he began crossing his legs on the bench, causing Marlene to smirk brilliantly.

'Black, hopefully detention tonight will teach you how to use a chair properly.' McGonagall called as she made her way up to her seat.

'We'll see, won't we?' Sirius tried gaining back some semblance of dignity, as he had fallen off of the bench when the Professor startled him.

Marlene snorted in a self-satisfied fashion while James and Remus started sniggering.

'Aw, did pwoor Padfwoot get into twouble again?' Teased Alice, as she and Frank made their way over and sat down with the group.

'Shut it, Griffiths, or Sirius will get _his_ boyfriend to make _your_ boyfriend run laps all practice.' Teased Remus, much to the indignation of James, Sirius and Frank.

'Why do you lot always drag me into everything?' He demanded. 'At least I have a real, flesh-and-blood girlfriend. _You know, instead of a pillow_.' Frank was smiling as James howled indignantly, dumping his eggs in his friend's lap as retaliation.

'Potter, detention tonight.' McGonagall called as she strolled her way by the group.

'Sounds good to me!' James replied, sharing a grin with Sirius.

'Separate detentions, boys. We haven't fallen for that since May of third year.' The doors to the Great Hall drowned out the cries of outrage and denial of the two boys, as well as the ringing laughter of those around them. It seemed that the professors had not forgotten when they had entailed the boys into cleaning the Prefects bathroom, only to have them smuggle a charmed squid (the ink it would spray would be extra sticky, refusing to come off of the victim for weeks) into the plumbing, setting the scene for a spectacular prank on the Slytherins. It failed miserably when the charms placed on the squid had some unforeseen side-effects, mainly that it caused it to grow. The boys ended up being covered in ink after their efforts, a fact which was demonstrated after an anonymous tip had been placed against the boys. The detentions had lasted into the next school year, but the Marauders found it was well worth it to see Snape covered in the muck –and James would go on saying for years that he never did get the ink all out of his hair, as he probably had only washed it three times since the incident.

As the post arrived that morning, Lily was surprised to see her own owl, Hooters, circling above.

As she relieved him of the letter, she opened it and began reading, automatically turning out the teasing of Marlene –'seriously, who names an owl Hooters?' –and mumbled her comeback of the past year and a half –'I was eleven, and he kept waking me up during the night. I retaliated a little, ok? Sue me.' –while the boys howled with laughter.

'I'll see you guys at classes, I forgot something in the dorms.' The redhead hurried away, to the great confusion of the seven left behind –ever since second year, Peter usually slept in in the mornings, with the Marauders saving him a bagel.

'What was that all about?' asked James curiously, turning to Marlene. Surprisingly, it was Remus who answered rather than McKinnon.

'That looked like Petunia's writing. She'll need a bit and then come back more pissed than you've ever seen her, only to break down at midnight.' Remus sighed and continued with a warning, 'Stay away from her then if you don't want to be hexed.'

* * *

Lily growled as she climbed up the stair cases, her sister's words repeating themselves over and over in her mind, and did not stop until she reached the seventh floor corridor. As she marched to and fro in front of the tapestry depicting the attempt of Barnabas the Barmy to teach trolls ballet. She waited until a door appeared and then opened it to reveal a training room. As the familiar Auror Training Dummies appeared and were programed, she growled once more as she took a fighting stance.

' _Alarte Ascendare!'_ She growled as the dummy opposite her sky-rocketed into the air. ' _Bombarda_!' She watched with grim determination as it exploded in mid air, turning to face the others as more appeared. Switching to nonverbal spells, she attacked ferociously, wand waving and hair flying. As the dummies were charmed that as soon as one was destroyed, two more would appear, Lily kept up a steady stream of attacks and defenses, until a burning pile of ashes, previously twenty dummies, were all that remained. She took a deep breath as the room conjured more –though they weren't programed and therefore made no move to attack –and went through the adjacent room to shower off the sweat, grime and tears that had culminated into her feeling absolutely filthy.

* * *

James was getting frantic. It wasn't until Lily appeared for their first class together, Charms, that he relaxed. He had been trying to find her on the map since after breakfast and had been agitated since he realized that not only was she nowhere to be found, but that she also was missing her Arithmancy class. He had no idea how she had been able to stay hidden from the map, as up to his knowledge, no one had ever succeeded in doing so beforehand.

He tried to catch her eye, but she barely looked up from her parchment throughout the entire class, and by the time he made his way out into the hallway, the elusive redhead had already disappeared. He only hoped that Sirius, whom he had enlisted in watching the map, would be able to figure out where she had disappeared to once again.

* * *

Sirius Black is an amazing chess player. Unsurprisingly, given his family, Sirius always had to plan every action, every stand he made, well in advance. He learnt how to pick his battles and how to keep the brunt of the punishments off of his brother. In doing so, he became accustomed to planning out multiple moves in advance and had an excellent grasp of both tact and subtlety that not many noticed –he supposed it was rather similar to Lily's mothering tendencies, of which he had seen through right from the beginning. He noticed things well before others, though he never used it to his advantage unless he had no other option –he wasn't a Slytherin, after all. The way his mind worked shown rather brilliantly when it came to any kind of strategy, particularly in quidditch and chess. Many people would challenge Remus in the common room to chess games, hoping to be able to brag of bettering an infamous Marauder, not knowing that Remus had only ever beaten Sirius three times in twice as many years, Peter two, and James only once.

In addition to the strategic way his mind worked, Sirius possessed the ability to lie rather spectacularly. In being apart of the Black family, he was taught –as would any other child in an Ancient Pureblooded Family –the basics of Occlumency, as was tradition. In being able to protect his mind, he could therefore protect the family secrets, of which included the heavily-protected familial magic, passed down from generation to generation of Blacks. Before Sirius had even started Hogwarts, he knew multiple hexes and curses, among knowledge on other Dark subjects, all of which were heavily protected in his mind –he had kept up with Occlumency long after his father had deemed him decent enough in the art.

While his Occlumency had no bearing on his abilities to lie in regards to facial expressions, years of taking the blame for his brother's accidental magic or poor behaviour did –though pranking certainly helped.

And so, it was only after coming to Hogwarts that Sirius felt guilty about lying, and even then, only when it was directed towards someone he cared about. While he did his best at avoiding it –he was quite skilled at skirting the truth when he felt like it –he could not hide his scent from his werewolf best friend –with heightened senses, Remus could detect emotions through smell, the level of the emotion showing in the intensity of the smell. When Lily was furious over James's antics last year and took to fuming while performing Prefect duties, Remus had had to work hard not to sneeze every other minute from the penetrating, peppery-scent. That ability did not apply to Animagus transformations, at least not to that degree, and so Sirius was able, though reluctant, to lie to James.

He felt that today counted as a worthy cause, as if he sent James after the fiery redhead, Sirius knew that he would be picking up the remaining pieces of his best friends trailing all over the castle thanks to some particular powerful jinxes the Charms Queen had under her belt.

He had been sitting in the windowsill beside the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy waiting for over half an hour until Lily finally emerged from wherever she had managed to disappear to, freshly showered once again and more than a little surprised at seeing him there.

'Black, what are you doing here?' She demanded, glancing around the corridor nervously.

'Back to Black, are we Evans? Shame.' Sirius countered, still trying to get a feel as to the temperament, even though his optimism diminished greatly by her coldness.

'Sorry, Sirius.' She amended, looking sheepish. 'Rough morning, I guess. What's up?' She asked warily, as he muttered a few extravagant curses at her knack of mimicking James and Remus with her choice of words.

'Speak.' He said, sitting back down on the windowsill with a pointed look towards her. He took great pains to look beyond the façade that she usually put on and was surprised to see hurt, betrayal and sadness swirling underneath the surface. He was glad that Remus hadn't come along, as the werewolf sometimes lacked tact when it came to matters that one did not want to discuss openly –such as familial problems; that was one thing Sirius had learnt too well, as well as being able to recognize the look of betrayal on Lily's face as well. What she saw must've convinced her as to his own determination, as she muttered a form of agreement to his plan, only wishing to do it somewhere less public. When he stood up and indicated for her to lead the way, he was utterly confused when she started pacing three times, a look of idle concentration on her mind, before a door appeared before them. Lily chuckled slightly at the baffled look on her friend's face as she led him inside what she knew to be the Room of Requirement.

* * *

'Bloody hell.' Sirius watched in amazement as he walked into a room that had never existed there before, and one that greatly resembled the Gryffindor common room, though with only two squashy armchairs facing a roaring fireplace. 'Wha –wha –what is this place?'

'The Room of Requirement, also known as The Come and Go room.' She said bluntly, 'Pace three times in front of the tapestry out there, thinking clearly about what you need, and it'll appear. I once told Dumbledore that there was a room full of chamber pots here two years ago, the man was practically hopping with an overfull bladder, and he caught up to me beaming over how it was the best restroom in the entire castle. He was disappointed that he hadn't been able to find it again, but he probably hadn't been thinking clearly enough for it to work for him again.'

'How have I never heard of it before?' He asked wondrously.

'I found it in Third Year.'

'But _how_?!'

'Misa.' She said simply, attempting to hide a smile as Sirius' eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

' _Misa the Head House Elf_? The one who runs the kitchens? B-b-but how!? She hates everyone!'

'No, she just doesn't trust students very much. Especially if those students happen to be Marauders.' He looked at the girl who had managed to fly under everyone's radars –everyone being everyone aside from James, who had always been infatuated with some aspect of the studious and quiet redhead in their classes that had left the Marauders all baffled – with confusion and amazement, as she had been able to charm the Head House Elf –a feat of which even the Marauders hadn't succeeded at; though she was rather fond of them, she was more wary about some requests they made; seeing as they had, after all, been known to include multiple additions to the students' food, they didn't blame her –and had discovered this amazing room, of which even Dumbledore did not know of its existence. When he saw her smirk secretively, he recognized the Marauder spirit concealed well underneath the surface, and was bemused by James' intuitiveness for having seen it straight from the beginning.

Moving on to other topics, Sirius warily asked her about why she'd been hiding all day. Had he not been looking for it –and also greatly familiar in doing it –he would've missed the way her emotions became closed off from her face, the expression becoming blank and her eyes empty and unfocused, staring at a spot on his forehead. 'Lils, please, talk to me. Everyone's worried, though James is going absolutely mental.'

As he watched, her mask slowly peeled off, leaving her face pale and pained. Standing up, she pulled out a crumpled letter and gave it to him. 'Read it and find out for yourself.'

He watched in puzzlement as she made her way to a corner of the room, only to watch as it expanded and changed. A large portion of the room no longer resembled the Gryffindor common room, but rather like the Dueling Room at Potter Manor. As he watched, Lily set up the training dummies that Sirius and James had been begging since fourth year to let Mr. Potter use, with rather disappointing success. As she watched set them up to the Auror Training Level, he was about to warn her as to just what that would entail. Opening his mouth, he reconsidered. _She'll hex me if I think she can't handle it. Maybe this is one thing that she'll have to figure out on her own._

His jaw was nearly hitting the floor as he watched her opened mouthed, while she tore each dummy apart. Swirling, twirling, ducking, and dodging combined, her movements both efficient yet graceful. As she went both offensive and defensive, he stared as she jinxed, hexed and charmed them all. As the number of dummies grew, her movements seemed to only grow all the more efficient and graceful, her aim all the more true and the sweat glimmering on her brow. As he continued watching, he felt like he was intruding on a ritual, and knew with certainty that this was the cause for so many showers that day. _Apparently, Evans also figured out that hexing could be rather relaxing, though she knows better than to hex actual people –at least unless she was certain she won't get caught._

He watched her until he recognized it for what it was; a distraction. Whatever was in the letter, she did not want to see his reaction, be it his pity, anger or whatever else she might think might be induced by reading the contents. As he began reading, he was thankful for the chance to compose his own mask before he spoke with his fiery friend.

 _Lily Evans,_

 _It has come to my attention, courtesy of our dear Mother, that it is time once more to send my weekly letter. Well, here it is._

 _Vernon and I are doing great. Such a strong relationship as ours is built upon agreement. For example; what we should make for supper, which month we want to be married in –oh, did I forget to mention? We're engaged. –and the fact that you are absolutely forbidden from being involved in the wedding in any way, shape, or form. The only reason you're still invited is because Mum insists._

 _Vernon doesn't like you. He thinks you're a freak and that you belong at your freakish school. Quite frankly, I agree. You don't belong at home, and you never have. So why don't you just stay at your freakish school for good. I'm sure Mum and Dad would prefer it, they just don't want to hurt your feelings. But don't worry, I know that you don't even have any feelings._

 _Stay away from me and Vernon, as well as Mum and Dad, should you find that you actually do possess hidden feelings of which I highly doubt. You'll just save us all a lot of pain if we never have to see you again. Stay away from us, for good. And from now on, as far as weekly letters go, don't even bother looking at mine; they'll all just be blank. Likewise, whether your own letters to me are blank or not, they will go straight into the fire unopened, so don't bother wasting your precious time in writing to me._

 _-Petunia Evans._

As he finished reading, he took a moment to calm the swirling thoughts in his head by continuing to watch his friend. He had a feeling that the shine on her face was not merely caused by sweat, though whether they were tears of frustration or sadness, Sirius didn't know. As she defeated all twelve remaining dummies with one jinx, beating the level, she turned to him and, after wiping her face, wrapped the conjured towel around her neck. She approached him warily, her mask once more intact, as she sat down on the floor across from him. He joined her on the floor not long after, whistling his approval once he had finished staring at the piles of ash, of which was all that remained of the Auror Training Dummies.

'Did you know that James and I have been trying for years to convince Mr. Potter to let us train with even the lower settings of those dummies?' When she started looking sheepish, he continued before she could even defend herself –while he knew that's what she was going to do, he refused to allow her to, as she had done absolutely nothing wrong in his eyes. 'I didn't even recognize some of those spells, Lils. What've you been up to, hmmm?' He queried, a shrewd smirk sneaking its way onto his face.

'I've had a lot of free time over the years, and Severus and I used to spend most of our time in the library –it was one of the only house-neutral zones where we could hang out, especially since the famous Marauders wouldn't be caught dead in there.' She smiled to take the sting out of her words, but Sirius felt that he understood his friend even more. He never really realized how horrible they'd probably made her life, having to sneak around to be able to see her best friend –the fact that he despised her previous best friend did not matter, only the outcomes it had caused to Lily's life. He refused to allow the expression of pity to break through his mask, as he knew that Lily would slap him –and anyone else –for it, but he made his voice was as sincere as it could be before he said, 'I'm sorry for forcing you to take refuge in the library; you did not do anything nearly bad enough to equal to spending that much time in such a horrible place.' He smiled in relief when she chuckled, before he started to wonder how to approach the subject at hand. He had no intention of returning Lily to the population of Hogwarts before he was certain that her emotions were under control, if only to avoid having to take James to the hospital wing.

'So. You've now had as much pleasure of meeting my sister as Alice and Dorcas have.' She said simply, almost carefully neutral. He had always respected Lily's bluntness, as it rivaled his own, but he began to recognize why James sometimes became so frustrated with him; it came across too often as accepting of a situation, especially when it came to personal things.

'They haven't met in person?' He wondered. He hoped that by going slowly, he could build his way up before knocking down the wall separating her from her emotions, knowing that it always, sadly, worked on him when James did it.

'Nope. Only Marlene has met Petunia, and that's the main reason why I always go over to her place during the holidays. The problem, is that her parents don't like visitors much, so I'm not allowed over as much as I'd like to be. Home life gets kind of brutal if Petunia and I are in close proximity to each other for extended –or shortened –periods of time, so I was pretty ecstatic that she had spent so much time with _Vermin'_ She snarled, 'over the summer as she had. Anything was better than the shouting matches as the previous summer; they weren't as frequent, though whenever she heard me talking about school or my friends, she'd go on another rampage and the shouting would start up again. I didn't even have Snape this year.'

'And I'm guessing Remus knows all of this, because of how often he visited you, right?' He asked. When she nodded her head in agreement, he let out another whistle, only this one rang more morose than anything else. 'What do your parents make off all of this?' He could practically hear her swear inside her mind as her eyes widened slightly.

'Mom's as optimistic as always, despite the fact that we haven't had a conversation for longer than thirty seconds without any shouting since the end of the summer after first year. Dad tries to stay out of it, but he isn't unsympathetic. He just doesn't want to be the one to tell mum that her daughters won't ever be best friends again.'

'I grew up surrounded by Bellatrix, Narcissa, Reg, Avery and basically all the pureblooded Slytherins here. There were countless dinner parties, balls, banquets and anything else that gave all the families an excuse to get together and show off their " _nobility_ ". By the age of two, I had my own dress robes, completely tailored to myself with the family crest and the motto, " _Toujours_ _Pur_ " on every article of clothing I had –even my underwear.' As she snorted, he allowed himself a small smile as he leaned back against the chair. 'That all stopped once I was sorted into Gryffindor. All those dinner parties and balls and banquets continued to be held, only I was no longer being dragged along to all of them. I attended only the most known functions, and only because it would be extremely rude that such a prominent and powerful family not grace the function with its entirety –even the Gryffindor outcast. My cousins stopped talking to me and the adults didn't treat me much better than how they treated their own house elves. Disdain and contempt were facial expressions that I became accustomed to, as well as anger and disgust. At home, it was even worse. Dear old Dad drank quite a bit in the evenings, which was always fun to handle, and Mum refused to admit to the Blood Traitor's existence in her own house. James, Remus and Peter snuck in a few times, but it wasn't until August that my summer usually started, and that was only because I would be allowed to escape to the Potter's for the rest of the summer. The only upside to everything was Reg. Some would say that he kept me sane, but according to James, I was never sane to begin with.

'Once, after second year, I charmed everything in my room red as soon as I learned the enchantments, and put up a Permanent Sticking Charm on a Gryffindor banner. Mum rampaged for weeks after that. I think she also figured out that I only took Muggle Studies to piss her off, but Merlin, it worked. You should've seen her face when she saw that I had achieved an O on my OWL for that class. Every year, I made sure I got an O on the exams, and every year I went a week without supper. I made up for it by raiding the kitchens though.

'The day after we got off the train this summer, I showed up at the Potters'. It had barely been twelve hours, but dad had already started drinking and started off on a rampage about blood purity. He tried to "beat into me" the right way of thinking, about how werewolves, house elves, muggleborns and everything else was inferior to them, and how Voldemort' He noted that she did not wince, and the only noticeable reaction being the widening of her eyes. His pride was short lived, before he carried on once more. 'had the right idea all along. He wanted me to join up with the bastard, saying how it would all be forgiven if I could "take down Fleamont Potter for the Dark Lord", as he's looked up to by many at the Ministry.' As she gasped, Sirius hoped that by showing her how relatable their situations were –though she didn't have it nearly as bad as he did –that she'd realize that neither of them were alone. 'Instead, I ran off to warn Mr. Potter and ended up moving in. James still doesn't know everything, but he let me stay without pushing the matter –he saw the evidence of my Dad's fury when I refused everything Voldemort stood for, especially werewolves and muggleborns–'

'Well, yeah. Obviously. What with Remus and everything.' She muttered. As Sirius froze, gaping, only to begin swearing vehemently, she looked at him with questioning incredulity. 'Did you really think I hadn't figured it out? Honestly, we patrolled together ever time last year, unless he had to switch shifts for some ridiculous reason. Plus, his Aunt Margaret has died about ten times since third year alone.'

'You've known since third year?!' Sirius asked, incredulously.

'I notice things.' She shrugged apologetically. 'As far as I'm concerned, he's just got a Furry Little Problem. Marlene and Dorcas thinks it's a rabbit, but that's only because I needed an excuse to give him extra chocolate near the full moon and a reason for why he looked so peachy.'

'That's exactly what James has been calling it since second year.' His eyes twinkled before something crashed down on him and he swore once again. 'Does Moony know that you know?'

'Of course not. If he brings it up, I won't deny it, but it isn't my business. If he's being an idiot over it, I'll set him straight whether or not he knows that I'm aware of the situation. But he's a good friend, and he's too selfless for his own good.'

'Damn, Evans, I think you'd get along just fine with the Marauders, you know that?'

As they finished up their conversation, Sirius saw that her mask had completely fallen away. He only hoped that he'd been able to prove to her that he could relate to her situation, rather than that she had no reason to be upset. As they discussed Petunia, Sirius mentioned something that shocked Lily to realize that she had never thought about it in such light before; Sirius thought that Petunia didn't think that Lily cared about them any more. Believing that her leaving indicated that she no longer cares, Petunia's trying to make herself believe that she doesn't care anymore either. It gave Lily hope, though she tried to deny it.

* * *

As they rejoined their classmates for supper that evening, Sirius and Lily received the odd look from many of their friends, though Remus and James just looked happy that Lily had shown up. Sirius knew that James would question him later on what happened, as well as why heed lied to him, but all Sirius really wanted to do was eat his meal.

'Woah, Padfoot. Slow down. You're wolfing your food down almost as fast as Remus.'

As Remus had just stuffed a forkful of chicken from his second helping into his mouth, all the boy could say to his defense was 'Shuddup Pwongs.'

'You must be _barking_ mad, James. I do not _wolf_ anything down.' Retorted Sirius. He had seen out of the corner of his eye that Lily had worked extremely hard to hide her grin at James' comments, though he knew that she was unaware of the double meaning behind his own words. _Let's see how long that'll last_.

* * *

 **Let me know what you think? Cheers!**


	18. Chapter 18

**R & R, let me know what you think!**

 **Disclaimer: Harry Potter is older than I am.  
**

 **Chapter 18**

As September went by in a swirl of red, yellow and brown leaves, the quidditch teams were practicing harder than ever. None, however, were practicing harder than the Gryffindors.

While the first match of the season approached, everyone was on high alert, as tensions between Slytherin and Gryffindor were running higher than ever. The Gryffindor Quidditch Team had –unwillingly, in most member's cases –felt the necessity of having an escorted guard in the corridors between classes to make sure that the Slytherins didn't try anything, roping in their teammates' friends for assurance. The double potions lesson the Monday morning was particularly hard for the newest beater on the team, though her reasoning had very little to do with the approaching quidditch match, and very much to do with Snape.

'Sirius, don't. You can't just curse everyone on their team because I fell, especially because you know how clumsy I am. ' Lily said, slipping into her seat next to Marlene in the middle of the room. She turned around to face James and Sirius once again, both of whom had taken the table directly behind them.

'Doesn't mean they don't deserve it though.' Sirius scowled, much to James and Marlene's mounting amusement.

'Doesn't mean I won't give you detention for it.' She retorted. As James snickered, Lily turned her unwavering gaze to him and said, 'And don't think I won't make his detention on the day of the match just because he's my partner.' James laughter ceased immediately as he turned to berate his best friend, though his slightly discontented facial expression left Marlene wondering if it was mostly due to Lily calling Sirius her partner, rather than one of his starting players missing the match.

'Lils, you have to admit though, you can usually manage to not sprawl on your arse three feet down the corridors between classes. It looked like you had coated your arse in butter or something.' Marlene said, trying to give James and Sirius a chance to avoid detention, for once.

'Hey! It wasn't _that_ –' Lily tried.

'Yes, it was.' Marlene said bluntly, allowing a small smile at the memory to escape as her best friend's back was turned.

'Fine then. Maybe it was bad. I dunno, Filch might've just done the floors or something.' Lily tried, praying that her friends would leave it at that, all the while knowing that they wouldn't.

'Oh _absolutely_. Just as Avery, Bellatrix and Mulciber just happened to walk by, right?' Retorted James, an angry tint coloring his face. As both he, Sirius and Marlene turned in their seats to glare across the dungeon classroom to the offending students, Lily sighed in defeat and slouched further into her chair. She'd hoped that her friends hadn't noticed them standing their, even though she had most definitely heard the spitefully snarled 'Mudblood' in the disgusted drawl of Bellatrix just before she tripped. She wasn't an idiot, but she needed to keep Sirius and James out of detention –at least until the match is over.

Once Professor Slughorn gave them their instructions, the class got out their potions ingredients and began to brew the befuddlement draught _._ Cursing, Lily realized that she was out of sneezewort and went to the storage closet in the corner of the room. As she looked for the required ingredient, Lily tensed as she recognized the hand that grabbed the scurvy grass to her left.

'Lily, please; I'm sorry, okay?'

'Leave me alone, Severus.' She said, avoiding eye contact by continuing her nearly futile search for the potion ingredient. With a prayer of gratitude, she reached up her hand to grab it, just as he grabbed her shoulders and turned her towards himself.

'Lils, please. You're my best friend. Aren't I yours?' He pleaded. As green eyes met black, it took all of her will to not forget the last two encounters she'd had with the boy. As her eyes met his, their desperate need filled her with two thing; the first, being pity. A terrible pity that left her heart aching and pleading, wanting to return to him and offer any comfort that she could. However, the second feeling that filled her was much more powerful; anger consumed her like a burning fire, enraging her.

'I don't particularly feel like being best friends with someone like _you_.' She hissed. Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she continued, 'Nor do I think your friends would be thrilled with the idea of you being friends with a _mudblood_.' She snarled, storming away. As she sat back in her seat, realizing she didn't have the sneezewort, she clamped her teeth shut against the cursing that wanted to spill over and tried to insert a calmness into her voice that she most certainly didn't feel as she asked Marlene if she could borrow some of hers.

Ignoring her questioning glance, Lily accepted the ingredient from Marlene and made a decision; she quickly bent down and began riffling through her bag. With a small victorious smirk, she withdrew the ballpoint pen that she had been doubting her decision to pack since the summer and, finally meeting his gaze across the room, she stared Severus down as she began taking her own notes to the directions in the textbook, the ink swirling onto the page in a fury.

'Evans, what the hell is that?' Inquired Sirius, choosing to ignore the snippets of the conversation –or hissing match –between Lily and Snape that he had overheard thanks to his animagus hearing; he could practically feel James tensing beside him, but figured that it would be best to let him work it out rather than making a big deal out of it -which would only risk Lily's wrath, rather than calming his fuming friend.

'It's a pen; here, I've got plenty in my bag. Just push down on the top and release, and then write like you usually would.'

'But what about the inkwell? How do you refill them?' James wondered, as he too took one. Marlene had seen the Evans' use them since first year, and knew that her best friend had always preferred pens over quills. She smiled as she saw the look of wonder on Sirius' face.

'You don't need an inkwell, you just buy a new pen. They're very cheap in the Muggle world. You can get a whole whack of different colours, too.'

'What? Really?! Why don't we use them? Seems like they'd save a lot of time, don't you think, Padfoot?' Much to their amusement, Sirius was too busy clicking the pen repeatedly on and off to pay attention, a smile of wondrous glee covering his features.

* * *

At breakfast on Wednesday, James was surprised as a letter landed right in the middle of his breakfast, courtesy of the Potter family owl. Wiping off the eggs, he opened it and began reading his mother's familiar script.

 _Dear James (and Sirius, of whom I am certain is reading this over James' shoulder),  
_

 _How has your first month back been? The house has been much too quiet without you and Sirius lately; there hasn't been one explosion in weeks! Your father has tried his best though, but that has more to do with him volunteering to train some Aurors on his free time in the Dueling Room with the dummies than pranking or brewing any potions. (They seem to be improving, but none can beat your father, and he still hasn't managed to beat the entire thing again. I think he's starting to wonder if that one time was all a fluke, but if his determination to keep on practicing because of his pride is what keeps him alive for as long as possible, I'm okay with that.)  
_

 _Speaking of your activities, make sure to keep an eye on Sirius for me, and so help me, if you two don't eat enough, I will yell at the both of you over Christmas break. And for the love of Merlin, please make sure that you two get your robes washed at least once a week; I refuse to allow my boys to smell worse than the Giant Squid._

 _Twitch misses you lot dearly, though I do hear him bemoaning the absences of both Remus and, surprisingly, a miss Lily Evans –don't think I won't worm my information out of either you or Sirius, (I don't particularly care who), as long as I know if I need to make up some homemade desserts for the girl._

 _If I don't hear from the two of you by the end of the week, my next letter will be a Howler –and don't you think I won't, young man. I found this new charm that exemplifies the power of both the voice and the explosion, but your father hasn't done anything yet to warrant me sending him one at work, and I'm not above wasting such a perfect opportunity._

 _Love from, Mum_

James couldn't keep the grin off of his face for the entire day after reading the letter from his mum, though he did wince slightly at her mention of the howler. With Sirius in fact reading over his shoulder, he couldn't quite manage to squash the blush that arose with her mentioning Lily. Of course, Sirius kept bringing it up whenever he could get away with it, causing James to retaliate by replying to Mrs. Potter and casually mentioning that Sirius was in detention at the time for a prank against the extremely well-liked Marlene McKinnon (the school doesn't take too kindly upon silencing someone repeatedly whenever they walk into a classroom). James continued smiling until Sirius charmed his hair the exact same color as Lily's, along with the knack for being incapable of hiding a blush –it wouldn't have been as bad, only Sirius kept on bringing Lily up into conversation, which made it at lest ten times worst.

* * *

The morning of the quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor dawned bright and early, the crisp September air competing with the harsh biting of the wind. As per their pre-game routine, James and Sirius made their way down to the common room on their way to get an extra early breakfast and a heavy warm up on the pitch before the even rest of the team awoke. As they stepped into the room they couldn't contain their stunned faces at seeing the rumpled form of a prone redhead dozing fitfully on the couch, curled up in a foetal position. As she began whimpering, James looked at her face closely, and he didn't like what he saw.

'She looks like shit.' He whispered, gaping at the unaware Lily.

'Marlene hasn't said anything about this, d'you reckon she doesn't even know?' Sirius asked, baffled that Lily could keep something like this from her best friend. The boys continued in studying her, taking note of the horrendous bags that were visible. They had to be at least a few days in the making, but neither boy had seen them. 'Must've been one hell of a glamour charm to keep those hidden. It looks like she hasn't slept in a week!' He commented, angered slightly that she felt she had to hide things like this from them.

'Lily? C'mon Lils. Time to wake up.' James gently tried to shake her awake, knowing that it was best to not make her angry this early in the morning.

When he heard her muffled groaning, Sirius decided that it was _his_ turn to try waking her up. He sat right on her bladder and said, 'Morning Evans!' He smiled cheerfully as she gave a shriek of surprise and started swearing at him, and continued on cheerfully while she shot daggers at his face, 'If you wanted to join us for our heavy-duty warm up on the pitch, why didn't you just ask us last night, then, huh?'

'Sod off, Black. And _get off_ my bladder before I hex you to the Hospital Wing and back, you dumbass!' She tried shaking him off, succeeding only because he knew for certain that she was awake.

As Lily raced up to her rooms, most likely to use the lavatory, James couldn't help but call out to her quickly retreating back, 'We'll just wait for you here, shall we? Wouldn't want you to have to rush to put on your glamour charm, now would we?'

As he heard her continued muttered bouts of profanities, James couldn't help the grin that covered his face –nor the eyes that wandered admiringly over her retreating, long legs, appreciating her short pajama shorts all the more for it.

* * *

'And the Quaffle is taken immediately by Marlene McKinnon —amazing Chaser, and rather attractive too —'

'Marcus!' Admonished Professor McGonagall, while the sixth year Hufflepuff merely shrugged in an offhand-way –it was his devious smile, however, that caused a mounting excitement from all those who knew him best. _He's just getting started._

'Anyways, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, –don't give me that professor, you know it's true –McKinnon passes to Potter, just as the Slytherins retaliate with sending the bludger straight at him, and –Oh!' the crowd gasped as cheers rang out through three quarters of the stands, with large booing trying to make itself heard in the remaining green colored section 'And he's saved by Evans! Wonderful beater, that girl is. Too bad Potter's had a claim on her since first year –'

'Marcus Steeling!' Professor McGonagall shrieked.

'C'mon Professor, you know it's true. That boy's _whipped_!' He smiled as laughter rang out across the stands and continued. 'Anyway, Evans saved Potter's ass, allowing the Gryffindors to take the lead, 140 to 130. Watch out, the Slytherins look like they're getting a bit antsy out there.'

As the commentary continued on, Lily couldn't help the bright smile that shown over her face. As she soared all over the pitch on her wonderful new broom –which had arrived over the weekend, and which Lily still could not believe the school would buy someone such an amazing broom (a Star Shooter 145, the best broom for the beater position); she _could_ believe that James would, also going to the trouble of claiming it had been from the school -and she had been dealing with the conflicting emotions of wanting to strangle him and kiss him all week because of it. As she and Sirius circled their team, bats at the ready to defend what was theirs, she shot him a smile. The practices over the last month, as well as during the summer, had helped immensely, as not only were her and Sirius close off of the pitch in their camaraderie, but they were nearly in sync on the pitch. As she swerved to defend Dorcas, she knew without looking that Sirius would send the other bludger to Mulciber, who had taken the quaffle after the pass from Marlene had failed. They worked so well together that the Slytherin team had started resorting to dirty tricks early on in the game, and yet, thanks to the teamwork between the two Gryffindor Beaters, the Slytherins had barely made any extra points for all their dirty shots. When Sanders, the Gryffindor Seeker, caught the snitch after two hours of the game, she landed the Gryffindors an almost unheard of victory, 390 to 145.

As the teams returned to the ground, the Gryffindors swarmed their beloved team, carrying them all up to the castle on their shoulders, heading to the common room to celebrate. Looking back on it, Lily thought that she had never felt such an amazing thrill of adrenaline. Her smile could've lit up a thousand Patronus charms, both ones cast by her, as well as those cast by James.

* * *

Cheers!


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm sorry for the late update, I was traveling and away from my computer for a while –and of course, once I got back, the homework almost buried me alive in its relief to see me. Hopefully, you'll all find this chapter to be worth the wait.**

 **R & R, let me know what you think (it also helps me write faster!).**

 **Disclaimer: I am merely a free loader on J. K.'s behalf (as well as my parents) -and proud of it!**

 **Chapter 19**

As the end of October approached, so did the upcoming full moon. The resident Hogwarts werewolf was feeling extremely nervous, as for the first time that year, he'd been scheduled to patrol that night with his fellow Gryffindor Prefect –and she did _not_ like to be left hanging. As he tried to gather the last remains of his Gryffindor pride, he squared his shoulders and entered the Common Room, joining her at her table –well, once he was able to _find_ the brilliant red hair; a difficult task, as she was currently being consumed by the pile of homework that surrounded her.

'Lily, d'you think I could switch off for our Wednesday night rounds?' Asked Remus tentatively, praying that she wouldn't pick apart his feeble excuse of a sick aunt that he had used a few times already. However, much to his surprise, she didn't even look at him oddly. Her gaze, while not pitying, shone of compassion and understanding, as if she knew that he wouldn't be asking her if he had a choice. As she pulled forward her copy of the Prefect schedule –which was filled on over-top of a regular calendar for simplicity's sake –they looked at the schedule for the night in question. He gulped when he saw the moon phase on it, but she barely blinked and continued to scan for the rest of the week.

'Hmm…' she muttered, biting her bottom lip as she continued to search for a suitable swap. 'What about Saturday night, after the Hogsmeade weekend? You can swap with Bryan Peters.'

'Sure. Thanks Lily. I'll ask him if he'd mind and then I'll go and talk to Nick.' As Remus left the room extremely relieved, he wondered why she'd have wanted to switch with that particular night –he was pleasantly surprised, as he'd be completely healed by then from his Furry Little Problem, but he doubted that had been _her_ reasoning. _Maybe I should just keep this to myself_ , he thought, _I'd hate to be there if James ever found out._

* * *

As one, the teachers watched the entire population of 3rd year students and above with dread while their students' excitement level only grew as the week progressed. Homework was handed out in an attempt to quieten them, –particularly to Gryffindor students –regardless of the fact that it was a rather futile attempt. The collective older student body felt the weight of the galleons in their pockets, demanding to be spent. As many boys rushed in trying to acquire a date, only four 6th year Gryffindor boys were rather content with going with friends –especially a bespectacled James Potter, as the only girl that he wanted to ask was already joining them. _And, sure, so what if it isn't an actual date? At least this way we'll get to spend some time away from the castle together. It's what friends do, and that's what she deserves right now; friends._ Especially _ones that don't make her cry_.

As James promised that he'd never do that again to Lily, he couldn't help his guilt that he'd already done so before. It was due to this that he resolved himself to forever be there for Lily as her friend, but nothing else, knowing that she deserved much better than him.

But that doesn't mean that his heart agreed with his head.

'So, James, since you're sticking with us for the Hogsmeade trip, does that mean that you're going _stag_?' Sniggered Sirius, sitting atop his bed in their dorm room. 'Because I think that Remus is still pretty _unaware_ of that definition-'

'-Padfoot, if you finish that sentence, I swear I'll make you have a really _rough_ day.' Remus said, with a pointed –but rather mischievous –look in his eyes. 'Besides, your vocabulary is limited to the number of fingers you have, and you can only spell those that fit on one hand.'

'Oi! Prongs, are you going to let him get away with insulting me like that?' Sirius demanded.

'Nope, don't come crying to me. I learnt my lesson; I still remember what happened the last time I got involved in another of your lovers quarrels.' James sniggered. He dashed out of the dormitory before either could retaliate and headed down into the common room, hoping to join Lily so that he'd be able to finish the Potions essay that was due in two day's time.

* * *

As Lily patrolled down the corridors on Wednesday night, she frantically looked for some common ground upon which to start a conversation with the 7th year Ravenclaw Prefect; though she had been around him ever since last year, they had never really spoken to each other much, aside from greeting each other at the start and end of the meetings. _Remus being fully recovered before his shift was the priority, and at least I'm not with Severus_. She thought gratefully; it was the only other available option.

'So, er, how's your NEWT year coming along? Is it as horrible as everyone claims?' She asked after trying, and failing, to find anything else to talk about; while she hated anything cliché, she hated awkward silences even more. _Not that it_ was _awkward or anything, but it was definitely getting there_.

'Horrible? No; stressful? Bloody hell yes.' Bryan said, smiling painfully at her. She had to look up slightly to meet his bright blue eyes, as she came up to about his chin. She tried to surreptitiously determine whether his hair was a brown or blonde, but soon gave it up as a mix –and a lost cause, as the wavy-curls made it hard to differentiate between the hair colour and shadows. 'The material they cover is more interesting, but the homework and the expectations are a lot higher than what they were before. Three Ravenclaws have already cried due to McGonagall's grading.'

'Really? But it's only October.' She said aghast.

'Tell me about it. I've been trying to keep up with all the homework myself, but it's a pretty heavy load, to be honest.'

'Bloody hell. I remember I had a system going in my OWL year where I'd get the theory part done first, since it was always collected for grading. At least during the class period, I could always practice the incantations silently and the wand movements under my desk, with or without the teacher giving us time for the practical aspect; it helped me stay up to date on homework –the mental stability was just an added bonus.' She laughed. As they turned the corner, their laughter had died down just enough to hear the unmistakable sound of giggling coming from a broom cupboard.

'Ha; your turn.' Bryan said, a gleeful smile showing brilliant white teeth.

With a mock-glare, Lily turned and yanked the cupboard door open, her eyes on the ceiling far above. 'Out. Now.' As the two seventh year students tumbled out, she gave them a minute to fix their clothes. 'As seventh years, one would expect that you'd be aware of the curfew. Especially since it started more than half an hour ago.' As she got a reluctant nod from the Ravenclaw girl, –and a rather guilty blush on the Hufflepuff boy's cheeks, –Lily couldn't help seeing the mortified expression of Bryan at having caught one of his friends; she quickly had to muffle her smile before she continued. 'Good. Then I won't have to explain the loss of ten House points each to you, nor the _separate_ detentions with your Heads of House.' At their protestant looks, Lily gave them a look that screamed of disapproval. 'Come on. A broom cupboard? It's rather deserving; at least around a Professor, you have _some_ hope of earning some class. Get to your Common Rooms –before I stick a mop back where I'm sure it was, at some point.' As they scurried off, Lily took a moment to compose herself until she was sure that her mortification lessened, if only a little. Turning around to face Bryan, she waited until he got over his own shock at, what she assumed was caused by seeing one of his friends stumbling out of a broom cupboard. Her hopes were dashed however, when their eyes met and he burst out laughing.

'I –have –never – _ever_ -in my days –seen someone reprimand someone so thoroughly.' He gasped, clutching his sides as he leaned against the wall for support. 'Let alone while sassing them throughout the entire thing. Ha!' He started laughing once again and had to run to catch up as Lily left him behind, still clutching the wall for support.

'I hate to be thought as unoriginal, but I've got to ask; what's up with you and Potter?' Bryan asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively with a smile.

'James? Nothing; we're just friends.' Lily said firmly, wondering where this was going.

'Really?' He rebutted with disbelief, 'You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but no one in the entire school thinks that you two are "just friends".' After a few minutes where Lily refused to comment any further, Bryan changed the topic. 'Hey, have you heard the rumours going around about Matthew Johnston?'

'The Gryffindor that was expected to be the Head Boy, right? And now he isn't even a Prefect?' Asked Lily curiously.

'Yeah; apparently, he doesn't get along too well with our dear Head Girl, and didn't want to be around after he heard about her Headship. He declined Head Boy, and even turned in his Prefect's badge.'

'Damn. Really?' At his nod, Lily shook her head in disappointment. 'That's too bad; he made an awesome Prefect. He would've been good as Head Boy too, but I'm glad Nick got the position.'

'Me too. Apparently, they dated in January, but they broke up after she snogged Mark Jordan during a Gryffindor party after the final quidditch match of the season.'

'Oh no! That must be so awkward for Matt and Mark. They were close, weren't they?' She asked, disappointment and pity swirling together.

'Apparently not close enough, since they still aren't talking to each other. Seems to be blown out of proportion to me, it was only a snog, after all.' Bryan stated, shaking his head.

'They were official. That's supposed to mean something; I reckon it did to Matt, less so to Victoria and Mark. You don't do that to your best mate, nor to the bloke that's supposed to mean so much to you.' She said firmly.

At his shrug, they moved onto different topics, patrolling the school long after it grew dark and quiet.

It was just nearing midnight when they approached the tower that lead to the Gryffindor common room, having finally finished with their rounds.

'I actually didn't mind patrols for once.' Lily laughed 'Maybe we could do this again sometime?'

Bryan chuckled in response and asked hesitantly, 'Or maybe I could accompany you to Hogsmeade this weekend? If you're not going with someone else already, of course.' He said uncertainly.

'I'd love to.' Lily smiled. 'Meet in the Entrance Hall around ten?'

'Sounds good. Night Lily.' He walked away after brushing his hand over her shoulder, walking down the hallway with a spring in his step. Just as Lily entered the common room, a small, pleased smile made its way onto her face, and a small, incredulous laugh escaped its way out of her mouth.

* * *

 _Lily sat on the grass, transfixed, as she watched everything from afar, unable to move but forced to follow her younger self as she walked to the park with her sister. Hand in hand, they skipped down the sidewalk heading towards a playground, identical toothless smiles on the girls' faces._

 _They and their smiles faltered when a pallid, dark haired boy approached them in ill-fitting, unkempt clothes. He spoke in a cold voice, deeper and much more mature than what one would expect from what looked to be a nine year old child –perfect, however, for a sixteen year old. 'Petunia, don't you know what you're holding in your hand? It's a_ Mudblood _. They're dirty, foul, things that aren't worth the space they take up –or the_ magic _they take up.'_

'Magic _?' She shrieked, turning a fuming glare onto her own sister. 'What does he mean,_ magic _? Lily?! I thought you stopped being one of them. I thought you chose your family instead of all those_ freaks _!' She snarled, angry tears in her eyes._

' _Tuney –I, -Tuney, please!' She begged, gripping her sisters hand with both of hers as tears trailed down her cheeks. 'I'm not a freak, I'm your sister.' She pleaded hysterically._

' _My sister wouldn't abandon her family like you did; you're not my sister, you're just a Freak!'_

' _And a Mudblood.' Snape put in, his onyx eyes glinting maliciously. 'The Dark Lord will come for you, and you'll get everything you deserve –including death. The Dark Lord does not offer death to those who haven't suffered enough by his hand, but he'll solve that soon enough. Just be patient, Mudblood; he'll come for you and your family soon enough.'_

 _As Petunia and Snape left, the younger version of Lily curled up on the sidewalk and began to weep, unknowing when she inadvertently rolled onto the pavement. With a screech of tires, her parents and sister ran over her legs in the family car, in their haste to leave. Amidst the sea of pain, Lily noted in a detached sort of way that her family had packed up everything in the house and stored it all into boxes, most of which were overflowing out of the car. With dawning horror and a terrible, guilty relief, she knew that they had left her alone, in the streets, and unable to run. She also knew, however, that they just might be safe. She crawled her way onto the sidewalk, where she saw Marlene, Sirius and James standing about._

' _P –please,' She cried. 'Help me?'_

' _My family doesn't need another excuse to treat me poorly, thanks.' Sirius snarled, storming away._

' _Why would I touch a Mudblood? Mother and Father have always said that they bring nothing but pain, misery and disgrace.' Marlene questioned disdainfully, sweeping away with a swish of a cloak._

' _Alright there, Evans? No? Well, maybe you should go see the Giant Squid; I heard you preferred it over my company anyways.' James said, almost politely; aside from, of course, the anger and vengeance that swirled in his hazel eyes._

' _No! Please! C-c-come back,' she sobbed, her voice feeble in between its gasps and raw, pitiful moans that escaped their way out of her lips. She saw Snape approach her whimpering form and her vision blurred. Suddenly, his face swam into view, his features showing only disgust and triumph._

' _The Dark Lord will reward them immensely for their views. Just as he will reward myself for delivering you unto him.' Snape said, as he grabbed her broken leg and –with a scream of pain breaking free of her mouth –the young Lily, who had at some point merged with the older Lily, fell into the oblivion in between the portkey locations._

Lily awoke with a muffled scream, thankful she had taken to casting silencing spells around her curtains before she went to bed. As she checked the time, she untangled herself from her covers and arose with a groan that had very little to do with it being only four in the morning, and quite a lot to do with the fact that she could still feel her broken legs, the damning words piercing her entire body and her bleeding, shattered heart, still left behind in a pool of blood on the pavement.

After she had gotten out of the steaming shower and dried herself off, Lily got ready and, after applying the charms to hide the ever-growing bags under her eyes, made her way downstairs to the common room.

'Morning Sirius, what's got you up so early?' She asked quietly, once she noticed him sitting across from her favourite arm chair by the fire.

'Just waiting to see how long you'd hold out for. You got what, five hours of sleep?' He retorted, shaking himself awake. At her guilty expression, he sighed, 'not even, right? Lily?'

'Four. I got four hours.' She murmured, ashamed. She plopped down into her own chair, running her hands through her hair in frustration.

'Do you want to talk about it?' He asked, forcing her to make eye contact. She hurriedly looked away, staring back at the dying embers of the fire.

'Not particularly.' She murmured. He left it at that, moving on to talking about plans for the upcoming Hogsmeade visit.

'Oh, um, about that; I'm going with Bryan Peters, so I might not see you guys around all that much.' She said, still staring dazedly at what was left of the fire. With a small twirl of her wand, the fire was roaring, blazing heat pouring off of it in waves. Sirius figured that'd be James' reaction when he found out about this, but he decided that he'd just need to keep a constant silencing charm around his friend for the rest of the week; Sirius had no intention of losing Lily as a friend because James couldn't keep his mouth shut.

'Isn't he the 7th year Prefect that you switched with Remus?' He asked.

'Yeah; I was trying to give Remus enough time to recover, and it was either him or Snape.' She answered dejectedly. 'Speaking of Remus, how's he doing? When does he usually get back?'

'He's usually in the Hospital Wing by now. We usually stay up until we can see him make his way back and then go to bed, but I needed to check something first.' When he looked pointedly at her, she guiltily returned her gaze to the fire. In doing so, she did not see him wave his wand, but she would've been hard pressed to miss his sharp intake of breath; he had cancelled the concealing charm on her face. She turned her wide, bloodshot eyes to him in panic, but he'd already regained enough of his composure to be able to overlook her features and stare only at the emotions sprawling across her face. Exhaustion. Fear. Panic. Denial. Anguish. Shame.

He took in all of these emotions, watching as her red, bloodshot eyes were shut tight against the judgement that she thought would be awaiting her, looking all the more like a racoon with the dark purple bags. The contrast was so sharp that her pale skin practically glowed blue in the light of the fire. _Oh_ _Lily_. 'C'mon Lils,' He sighed.

He reached over to her and, taking her hand, dragged her into a standing position. Just as he began leading her towards the painting of the Fat Lady, and therefore the exit, she questioned, 'Where are you taking me, Sirius?'

'The kitchens.' He said finally, pulling her out of the portrait hole and dragging her along. 'You need chocolate cake.'

As she stopped struggling, Lily couldn't help the rush of gratitude that followed this statement; for the first time in a while, she sported a sincere smiled.

* * *

That morning at breakfast, Sirius' heart went out to James. Disappointment was all too present on James' face when Lily announced her plans for the weekend. James had barely enough time to control his disappointment –and anger, though Sirius thought it was directed at himself, for feeling disappointed –before Lily stopped laughing at the girls' dramatic relief for her.

'You won't die alone!' Alice exclaimed, jokingly relieved.

'Maybe we can avoid the pet shop for a few more years!' Dorcas teased.

'I'll be free! Marlene yelled gratefully.

'Oh shut up, the lot of you!' Lily laughed. 'I didn't mean to mess up your plans though; maybe we can all meet up at the Three Broomsticks for lunch or something? I can talk to Bryan at the Prefect meeting later this week.'

'No, no. It's fine. I don't think that'd be an ideal date for Peters.' James said hurriedly, wincing inside at what his reaction would be if he saw Lily on a date; hearing about it was bad enough.

'Alright then, maybe we'll see you guys around. I need to add some finishing touches to my Charms essay; I'll see you guys in class!' Lily called, dashing out of the great hall with an apple clutched in her hand, two cups of coffee already swirling inside her.

* * *

Later that day, it seemed that James had pushed his disappointment aside, leaving only the anger. Unfortunately, that meant that he had less and less control on his mouth, especially when he was around a very specific redhead.

' _Evans_! Wrong formation, _again_! Ten laps around the pitch, for the ten times you've done it wrong.' James bellowed, causing Sirius to wince; although, it wasn't in sympathy for his partner –nor his best friend, for that matter; oh no, Sirius winced in pain, because he had physically restrain Lily from reaching James and giving him hell. _It doesn't matter that he deserves it though; James has been going after her the entre practice_. Sirius was not looking forward to be the one forced to listen to them both rant about the other. _Maybe I can pass one of them off on Marlene…_

Lily growled in frustration; oh she was going to _kill_ Potter. _I messed up twice; that's it, that's all. And he has the_ audacity _to make all of those comments about my skill, and my reliability_? She mentally snarled, throwing herself into beating the bludgers with as much force as possible. She felt badly for Sirius, especially since she saw him wince whenever a particularly powerful one came soaring over, heading straight for him, but that didn't mean she'd stop.

Once the practice had finally ended, Lily stormed off the pitch, heading towards the female side of the change rooms to shower. Even what that didn't calm her down, the redhead decided that a few laps running around the pitch might calm her down –when it was done _willingly,_ she mentally added scathingly–enough to avoid strangling Potter over supper. Four laps later, Lily was sweating again, but the rest of the team had all headed up towards the castle. Still grumbling, she grabbed her gear and started walking back, mentally coming up with creative ways to make him suffer as she did so.

* * *

R&R, let me know what you think!


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm sorry for the wait between chapters, I had a little bit of difficulty with the beginning and my time available to dedicate to my writing was extremely short. There was also a combination of procrastination and writers block… I really can't wait for school to let out for the summer.**

 **Disclaimer: there has been no profit made from these writings, all rights go to JK Rowling.**

 **Chapter 20**

Halloween morning dawned bright and early, with a chilly wind wrapping itself around the castle. As feet stepped down from their beds, hands reached instantly for socks or slippers, knowing that the freezing temperatures of the castle were only beginning. While they all assembled in the Great Hall for breakfast, the teachers grew both impatient to be rid of the energetic older student body and dreadful at the thought of the behaviour of the younger students; as they did not get the chance to release their excitement levels throughout the day in Hogsmeade, there would hardly be a single dessert left from the Halloween Feast later in the evening, a rather impressive feat. Of course, the Hogsmeade weekend would not damper the Marauders' sweet consumption, and so Professor McGonagall made sure to drink extra tea throughout the course of the day. She also knew that while she could handle her sweets marginally better than the others, Lily Evans wouldn't be of much help either, due to the combination of both her substantial sweet tooth and her rather impressive empty leg –which she only ever bothered to fill every Halloween Feast, apparently.

McGonagall surveyed the early risers in the Great Hall, watching as the aforementioned Sixth Year Prefect sat herself on the bench at the Gryffindor table, immediately reaching for caffeine. Minerva tried to make sense of the differences between the Lily Evans then, and the Lily Evans from a year ago. Relationships aside, Lily looked much worse than she did then. Though Minerva knew how much she loved being apart of Quidditch, as well as how close she was with the Marauders and McKinnon, (despite the argument that she broke up between Lily and James over his behaviour during the last quidditch practice, which led Lily to hex James into a purple llama) Lily still looked more drawn, exhausted and depressed; even more so than after her fallout with the Snape boy. McGonagall tried to reassure herself that Miss Evans would go to Black, Potter, or even _herself_ should something be seriously wrong with her, but she had a feeling that Lily would show her most stubborn, Gryffindor side at the most inappropriate times, such as now. With her heart in her throat, McGonagall tried to reassure herself that Lily would not let things get too far out of hand, and finished her breakfast in contemplative silence.

* * *

'Brian, hey!' Lily called, smiling as she met up with him in front of the Entrance Hall.

'Lily, you look gorgeous.' As he joined her, they made their way outside. Bryan slipped his gloved hand into Lily's own as they continued their walk down to the gates, smiling as Lily beamed up at him through her hair, which had covered her face due to the billowing wind that had persisted all morning.

'Thanks! So, did you have any place in mind that you wanted to go to first?' She asked, after succeeding in tying her hair up into a high ponytail. She readjusted her Gryffindor scarf while her hand was free, and then linked arms with Bryan.

'Nowhere particular, I thought maybe we'd just wander around, see if anything caught our eye?'

That works for me.' She agreed. It wasn't long before they were bringing each other into various shops in the village, or otherwise just wandering around. There was a sense of camaraderie that left Lily both relaxed and nervous. She was relaxed because here was a boy who didn't realize how screwed up she was, how little she slept or how close she'd been to an emotional breakdown everyday for the past week. However, he was also the boy that she didn't know very much about, which left her floundering for decent conversation topics. While she didn't have to second guess the looks that Bryan shot her, (unlike those of her other friends, particularly Marlene, Sirius and James) she also knew that he didn't understand why she suddenly flinched at the topic of siblings. Often throughout the day, she found herself whishing that he knew more about her life, if only to avoid certain discussions that he seemed to want to instigate –she never had the desire to share her reasons, because she didn't really feel comfortable sharing them with most people, to the point that Sirius had taken to duelling her in the Room of Requirement every spare period he had, just so that he could take her mind off of things rather than forcing her to speak (he knew that that would only result in him being hexed).

No, Lily spent her time trying to come up with various topics that they could discuss, without it coming to close to home, rather than letting herself relax as she should have, but at least Bryan seemed like a decent guy. She knew as soon as he suggested going to Madame Pudifoots, though, that maybe it wasn't going to work out –while she pretended to enjoy herself throughout the meal, the décor and the food turned her stomach; there was too much frilly lace, hearts and bright pink to be able to properly stomach the pink food as well. She appreciated the thought, knowing that not many girls would abhor the 'romantic' restaurant.

As the couple made their way back up to the school, they parted ways with a kiss on the cheek to their different houses.

* * *

Marlene knew that James wasn't having the best of days –then again, how could he? Lily was off on a date with a 7th year Prefect when she had already made plans to hang out with him (and everyone else, though James didn't care about that), after seeing how she swapped her Prefect rounds to partner with Peters instead of Remus. _James probably thinks that Lily's serious about the bloke. I don't know who's more gullible, James, or Peters, if either think that Lily would just jump into a relationship with just anyone_. No, Marlene knew her best friend better than that; while Lily and Sirius had grown much closer over the past few months, even Sirius didn't quite know who Lily dealt with boys. Marlene was the only one able to differentiate between the ones that Lily just wanted to flirt with, and those that she was serious about; Lily befriended them. Of course, Marlene had been trying to convince her that that would only bring more pain later, while she was confused or hurt by the mixed signals her _friends_ were sending off, but Lily preferred to actually get to know the person _before_ they she started dating them.

Marlene knew her best friend better than anyone else –when it came to certain things –which was why she had absolutely no resounding pity for James bloody Potter. Already, Marlene could tell what Lily could not, and that was that Lily was falling for him. Hard.

As Marlene spent her day dealing with a moody Potter and the rest of their group of friends, Marlene just wanted her best friend to realize the difference she made in their lives; no matter the occasion, Lily always managed to bring the best out of the people she surrounded herself with. Marlene thought that that was why she stuck by Snape for so long, that he was always better in her presence. He wanted to be a better person when he was around her, and now that that stopped, Snape would stop trying.

As Marlene watched James watch for Lily, she could tell the instant that the redhead stepped into the Great Hall; he looked glad, depressed, guilty and angry all at once. Marlene decided to take pity on Sirius –who would've been victimized to James' mood swings just as much as she had been –by drawing him into conversation, after loudly accusing him of kicking her under the table; which would, of course, caused for retaliation.

As he saw the light glinting off of the red hair entering the Great Hall, James tuned out of whatever argument Marlene and Sirius were participating in and turned to Remus, hoping for an ally in dealing with raging emotions –or, at the very least, a moment to compose himself.

'Moony, have we finished with our plans for Thursday?' James, grasping at straws for a decent distraction, readily turned to pranks.

'Not yet, we still need to make sure we picked up everything we need.' He said, undoing his cufflinks and rolling up his sleeves.

Suddenly, they were interrupted by an indignant shriek, followed by a shrill 'I don't need anger management, I just need you to stop pissing me off!'. James and Remus both watched, dumbfounded, as Marlene made to shove Sirius headfirst into a dish of mashed potatoes, only to be stopped as Lily suddenly appeared at the table and grabbed her arm.

With a bright smile that knocked James' legs out from right under him, Lily spoke, 'Marls, what did I tell you about fighting with Sirius in the Great Hall?'

'Don't do it unless I want detention with Slughorn.' She shuddered –while Slughorn didn't assign detentions that called for uncalled for manual labour, like washing out all the cauldrons, he assigned students to do something extra embarrassing or worthless, to prove a point that the action that earned them detention _really_ _wasn't_ worth it. Or, even worse, he just talked to you for two hours about Slug Club.

As all the students made their way into the Great Hall and joined their friends at their House Tables, the tables collectively groaned as the enormous amount of food appeared. The teachers, as well, collectively groaned, once all the dessert appeared, and the Marauders and Lily Evans were barely able to contain their glee.

* * *

'I'm not sure if magic saved my life or ruined it.' Lily said, sitting on the floor, staring at the fire directly in front of her in the Room of Requirement.

Internally, Marlene swore. _Now she's going all dark and twisty. Great, I can barely handle a sugar high Lily_. With a look that clearly showed Marlene's train of though, Sirius picked up the conversation for Marlene.

'What do you mean by that, Lils?' He asked, sitting down beside her, appraising her features from his peripheral.

'I don't know… It's just, magic saved me from being normal, I guess; but it also took me away from everyone –especially from Tuney. I don't think there's any going back, but I don't even know if I want to. I'm such a horrible person.' Lily turned wet, pleading eyes to her two best friends, as Marlene sat down on her other side. She felt Sirius' arm go around her shoulders and Marlene's hand rubbing comforting circles on her back; she didn't even realize she's been crying until she brought her hands to her face and noticed tear tracks trailing down her cheeks.

'No, no, no, you are not a horrible person. Don't let the Muggles get you down, Lil. You're better than that, you know it.' Marlene cooed, sympathy coming off of her in waves.

'It's not just any Muggle, Marls. It's my sister!' Lily wailed, covering her face with her hands.

'Your sister, is only jealous of things out of your control. You did nothing wrong, and she's only hurting you to make herself feel better. Don't give her that satisfaction, you're stronger than that.' Sirius stated firmly. 'While your parents may not be the most helpful, you bet your ass that we will be.'

'The others too.' Marlene added with a small smile; mostly thinking of James and his own reaction to Lily saying such things about herself, but also of Remus, Dorcas, Alice, Frank and Peter.

When Lily laid down on her back, eyes lifted towards the ceiling, she wiped her face to rid herself of the last of the tears. 'Thank you.' She whispered, before falling into an uneasy sleep, her exhaustion finally catching up with her emotions.

Marlene and Sirius just stared at each other, silently ordering the other to carry the redhead back to the tower with mere eye contact. Marlene broke out into a victorious smirk as Sirius just grumbled, glaring at her over the red hair that he pulled into his arms. It was a long walk back to the tower, and Sirius planned on spending it shooting daggers at the brunette's head.

* * *

When Lily awoke on the Common Room couch early the next morning, she squinted through puffy eyes and a dry throat. She barely remembered the conversation in the Room of Requirement, nor the walk back to Gryffindor Tower. She groaned when she realized that Sirius must've carried her, knowing that he'd be making fat jokes for a month. She was glad that she awoke in the middle of the night, if only to cast a silencing charm on her person, before falling into the depths of yet another nightmare.

Noticing that the sun was just starting to rise, Lily made her way up to her dormitory to get ready, giving up sleep as a lost cause. As she was walking down to the Great Hall alone, Lily cursed her luck as she stiffened her spine.

'Oh lookie here, Avery; it's the little Mudblood.' Snarled Bellatrix Black. 'And it seems as if she's all alone… pity, that. I would've preferred if dear cousin Sirius were here to witness this.'

As Lily ducked just as a purple hex flew towards her, she felt another curse hit her and pushed her into a set of armour. The clanging must've been enough to scare off the Slytherins, because when Lily managed to raise her exceedingly heavy head, she was all alone. Letting it thump back down onto the stone floor, she wondered belatedly just what hex she had been hit with, before falling unconscious.

* * *

James was freaking out.

He'd just been making his way back to the dormitory after flying for a bit out on the pitch by himself when he heard the metal clanging of a suit of armour collapsing. Hurrying, he froze as he made out the burst of red hair, followed by a limp body, surrounded by the fallen pieces of metal. Once he managed to dig Lily out of the armour, he tried to wake her up. ' _Ennervate_!'

Sighing with relief when she muttered something incomprehensible, he satisfied himself with lifting her off the cold floor, pulling her into his lap instead.

When she opened brilliant green eyes to meet hazel, he lost his breath at the mistrust, pain and alarm within them. As recognition slowly invaded her irises, she slumped into his chest, gasping in deep breaths and releasing them in shudders. Her arms wrapped themselves around his torso, just as his circled her waist in return.

He held her like that for a long time, the sun was shinning on their bodies, still curled up on the floor amidst the fallen pieces of armour.

'Who?' He murmured, stroking her hair absently.

'Don't. It's nothing.' She returned, snuggling further into both his chest and his embrace.

'it's not nothing, Evans! You were crumpled on the floor, all alone, passed out! What if no one found you for hours! What if –' He demanded, pulling his head away to make eye contact.

'James.' She murmured. 'Please.'

He sighed once again as he looked into the depths of emerald, knowing that he couldn't refuse her. 'Fine. _For now_.' He growled, wrapping his arms around her even tighter once again. They stayed like that until they headed down to the Great Hall together, hand in hand. Neither knew who was the lifeline in that situation, but they held on for dear life regardless.

* * *

 **Hope it was worth the wait; big thanks to those that are taking the time to read, as well as sending feedback. Thank you!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry it took me so long, June tends to be rather chaotic when it comes to school.**

 **As for the length, I broke it up the way I did because I was worried that it'd just drag on if I kept going, so I moved it into the next chapter –which, coincidentally, I've already started writing. However, I won't be able to dedicate as much time as usual towards it until my exams are over, so it might be awhile before it's up.**

 **It was really hard to write Vernon Dursley, and so feedback would be greatly appreciated; what worked, what didn't, was it realistic, etc., -of course, any kind of feedback is always greatly appreciated!**

 **Disclaimer: Not my characters, just my characterization; not my world, mostly of my plot line; not my story, just my take; not my property, just my heart.**

 **Without further ado;**

 **Chapter 21**

As October faded away, November became a blur of school, quidditch and stress. As the group of Gryffindor sixth years tried to stay optimistic while drowning in the onslaught of homework, all they could do was to keep their heads down in their books, and count the days until Christmas break –some more optimistically than others.

Peter was looking forward to spending the first week with his mother, who hadn't been feeling well recently, before joining the rest of the Marauders on Boxing Day for the rest of break.

Remus would be going over after his own Christmas Day lunch with his parents, trying not to impose on his family as much as he had over the summer holidays –while they never said anything, Remus always got the feeling that they didn't know what to make of his condition; especially his father, as he could barely look at his son through his guilt.

Sirius was, of course, staying with the Potters for the duration of the break, and planned on whamming James in the face with a snowball every morning as a wake up call.

James would be going home, with his best friend, and not to a empty house –his parents would still work up until Christmas Eve, and so he usually spent time with the house elves and just cooked. This year, though, Sirius would be going straight there, and James could wake him up every morning by dumping a pile of snow on him.

Marlene would be staying home with her family, dreading going to the parties that they had planned, and could only hope to be able to sneak away to write to Lily and the others.

Alice, Dorcas and Frank all planned on spending the entirety of Christmas break with their families, though they all promised to write so much that everyone would be sick of them, regardless of the fact that they were miles away.

Lily, however, dreaded her plans; she was going home, and would have to face the sister that had caused her so much pain, in a civil and dignified manner –at least until all their relatives left. Then, and only then, would she tell her sister exactly what she thought of being treated like she was unworthy, or a freak. Of course, she had to actually force herself to get on the Hogwarts Express when it departed, but she hoped that the train ride would give her time to gather her courage.

* * *

'C'mon Lils, the train's leaving.'

'Okay, okay, I'm coming. Keep your knickers on.' She answered Marlene, hurrying off of the Hogsmeade platform and onto the train. It had been through unspoken agreement that the group would all converge into the Marauders' infamous compartment; the boys sure as hell weren't spending the train ride anywhere else.

As she sat down in her seat beside James, across from Marlene, –who was sitting beside Sirius –Lily glanced out the window with a small, almost inaudible, sigh. Gathering her conflicting emotions, she locked them away deep down, determined to enjoy the ride before facing her family. Turning back towards the group, she smiled as she listened to the Marauder's planning their return from break prank.

'Peeves has suggested that we use water balloons, but I'm not sure if it'd have the same effect. Plus, he could just be trying to win.' Remus stated as he leaned forward with his hands on his knees, a slight frown distorting the pale scars marring his face. Lily noticed that there hadn't been any new ones since the summer and commended Remus for his apparent control of Moony –while doing research in third year, Lily discovered that when in werewolf form, if there wasn't another animal –werewolf or otherwise –nearby, the person would turn to self mutilation, completely disregarding the humane side of the brain.

'Why not just jinx the whole batch before-hand? Peter asked.

'Because we won't have access; if we want to do it during the feast, it can't be something that we'd need access to pull off. We could delay it till the morning, but that breaks tradition.' James put in, cracking his neck as he leaned back. 'What about enlisting the House Elves to help?'

'As if Misa would let you four anywhere near the food before the feast. Plus, it's not like you can summon an elf, so how would they even know what to do?' Lily asked, a contemplative frown turning down the corners of her mouth. 'Are you sure that you want to do this prank first? It might be better to save it for the end of the week; go out with a bang and all that.'

'Maybe, and it's not like we can get Peeves to help, with the prank war going on.' Ever since their first year, the Marauders and Peeves have had a prank war the first week back from Christmas Break –something has to come from the two weeks time off, and what better way to spend the break than planning? –and would then spend the next month in detention. The teachers don't even bother assigning the detentions until after the week is over; they know a lost cause when they see them, and the pranks would still happen, even if all four boys were in a detention all night long the night before. The Marauders protest the fact that Peeves pranked just as much as they did and that he didn't get any detentions until fourth year, when McGonagall pointed out that Peeves wasn't alive, much less in her House and under her watch. The Marauders never made that argument again, as they all swore they could still feel the verbal whiplash from her scolding –it didn't stop them from doing the prank war again the next year though, nor the years afterwards.

'We still have two weeks to figure out this prank, maybe we'll just include it in the war later on in the week like Lils said, and do something else for the first night back; we'll have access and we won't have to worry about it.' Sirius said, grumbling; none of them liked to admit defeat, especially when it comes to pranks and the impossible.

While they continued coming up with plans for the entire week, Lily relaxed and let her mind roam; for the first time in nearly a month, she didn't think of her family. Instead, she thought about her friends, and how lucky she was to have them –especially when you throw in her emotional state the past few months, and the fact that she really had been a train wreck.

As she continued pitching her own ideas, she chuckled at the appreciative glances that were thrown her way.

'How the _hell_ were you made into a Prefect?' Peter asked reverently, scrutinizing Lily as if wondering how she managed to fool Dumbledore –and everyone else –into thinking she was such a good girl.

'Wormtail, I think Lils has been underestimated by everyone there –I mean, what sane person gives a redhead a position of power? With that temper?! I'm dumbfounded that she's managed to behave herself so far.' Chuckled Remus.

'Lily is unofficially the best Marauder, because of one thing; _she never got caught_.' Laughed Sirius, just as James wrapped his arm around her shoulders loosely, ruffling her hair in pride at the same time.

As she whacked James on the side of his head, she smirked. 'That reminds me… It seems as if a certain Quidditch Captain managed to be a certifiable _dick_ towards an extremely volatile redheaded Beater, and think he could get away with it.' As her green eyes twinkled, James swallowed nervously. He missed Lily's arm movements as she grasped her wand and uttered a non-verbal spell, only realizing that something had happened when he heard the others snorting in amusement; it seemed as if she had vanished all of his clothes, leaving him in only his knickers.

'EVANS!' He gasped, scandalized over everyone's peals of laughter.

'Next time you're in a pissy mood, think twice before taking it out on me!' She smirked, charming his entire body pink with another flick of her wand. _I was in a pissy mood_ because _of you_! He thought, guiltily remembering that he shouldn't have been, just because Lily went on a date. He slouched into the seat with his arms crossed and pouted, cursing himself for stowing his wand in his trunk.

Sirius refused to help out, knowing that the retribution was deserved; he also remembered the reasoning behind his friend's temper. He caught Marlene's eye and they both smiled as they watched Lily casting sly, appreciative glances out of the corner of her eye towards the undressed boy, her face reddening –from laughter, of course, rather than anything else.

'Well, Pete, I think this just proves that Lily really is the best Marauder of them all; after waiting more than a month for revenge, she won't even loose house points over it, because its during the holidays. Plus, she can still cast magic, because there isn't any way the Ministry can trace it.' Marlene said, as Remus took pity on his friend and conjured his clothes back –he seemed to forget the charm to reverse the color though. Marlene noted the semi-relieved, semi-disappointed expression on her best friend's face and looked pointedly at Sirius once again, both of them muffling their smiles afterwards.

* * *

Not more than a week later, Sirius was rudely woken at eight in the morning due to a snowball dumped on his face. Grumbling at his best friend's suicidal tendencies, he conjured a pile of snow that covered the entire bed and dumped it on Prong's sleeping form in retaliation.

'Every bloody day. Serves you right for charming yours to go off on an alarm; you tend to leave yourself undefended, dumbass.' He grumbled, laughing as James howled in protest. 'Happy Christmas Eve day, you git. I'll be with the caffeine and the food.' As he made his way towards the kitchen, Sirius chuckled to himself as he heard James' muttered cursing through chattering teeth. _We do this every morning; you'd think he'd learn by now_.

* * *

'Mum wants to make sure that you'll have the food ready for when Vernon gets here for brunch. Get up.'

As Lily rolled over in her bed, she heard her sister retreating down the hallway. She knew perfectly well that their mum had told Petunia to make the food, since it was her fiancé that was coming over, but she also knew that her sister would be just as likely to poison her food instead. As Lily fell out of bed, she threw on sweatpants and a jumper before going downstairs to the kitchen.

'You'll be jumping off the walls if you have any more.'

'It's only my second cup.' Lily said as she continued to stare out the kitchen window, drinking from the large mug clasped in her hands.

'How many more till you get cracking?' While Mr. Evans knew who had been originally asked to prepare brunch, he knew whose cooking he'd rather eat. He also knew who was more inclined to do so, regardless of who'd been originally asked.

'You seem to be mistaking coffee for motivation, Dad. It's okay, I do it often enough.' Lily said with a sleepy smirk, as she nevertheless started to gather her ingredients. While she mixed the pancake batter, Lily monitored the bacon on the stove and buttered the toast that came out of the toaster. As she handed all of the dirty dishes over to her parents to wash and put away, she smiled serenely; it was her kitchen in the mornings, and one either makes themselves useful, or they make themselves scarce (Petunia always chose the latter).

After putting the only remaining dish –scrambled eggs –on the table, she surveyed her work just as the doorbell rang. With a muffled curse, she ran upstairs to get changed before she had to face Vermin once again, hearing the exchanged holiday's greetings as she closed her bedroom door.

* * *

Newly dressed in jeans and a comfy sweater, Lily pulled her hair back into a loose knot before seating herself across from Petunia and Vernon, in between her parents.

'This is lovely, Mr. and Mrs. Evans. The bacon is done wonderfully.' Vernon grumbled his thanks, his voice muffled by equal parts the food he was shoveling into his mouth and the mustache that covered his upper lip.

'Actually, Vernon, Lily did all the cooking this morning! Frank and I just did the dishes.' Sarah Evans laughed, smiling appreciatively towards her youngest daughter. While she may have missed the slowing of Vernon Dursley's eating, her husband did not. Nor did he miss the slightly greenish tinge that had appeared on the young man's face.

'Oh?' Vernon questioned, looking confusedly between Petunia and Lily. 'But, I thought you said that shr never did anything around the house, Tunia?' Lily blushed furiously as Petunia tried to shrink into herself, audibly groaning when her father started speaking.

'Nonsense, Vernon. My Lils makes the best breakfast you've ever had, has since she was ten! We used to do it together, before she kicked me out for messing up some of her more brilliant recipes. You should taste her blueberry scones!'

'Those were hers? But you said…' As Vernon turned to stare at Petunia, Frank saw her flush with embarrassment.

It didn't take a genius to piece together why Vernon thought that Lily did nothing around the house, nor was Frank unaware as to the reason for which Vernon seemed so shocked that Lily's cooking was particularly impressive; he figured it had quite a lot to do with the guilty expression Petunia now bore across her face.

'I, uhm, Vernon, I can explain –' Petunia started, looking pleadingly at her fiancé.

'Mr. Dursley, would I be right to assume that Petunia has been laying false claims to certain aspects regarding Lily?' Frank said, ignoring an embarrassed Lily and an indignant Petunia.

'It would seem so, Mr. Evans. I must be going, Mr. and Mrs. Evans, I mustn't be late to visit my sister, Marge. Petunia, a word before I go?' Grumbling slightly as she rose, Petunia walked him to the door. At first, the conversation between the two at the door went unheard, as no other sounds aside from Petunia's frequent hissing could be understood –at least, not until the shouting started.

'You told me she was a freak! That she was worthless and spiteful and a conniving bitch. And then you give me her cooking? Are you trying to kill me?!'

'But, Vernon, you've had her cooking before!' She suddenly gasped in dismay, and the three Evans' knew that Petunia had clasped her hands in front of her mouth, as was a habit that Lily thought she should've been more indulging towards.

'Pardon me? The only cooking I have eaten here has been what you and your parents have made. Just how much of that statement is the truth?' His voice had thundered, and Lily could suddenly picture the vein in his forehead throbbing as his many necks wobbled, his furry mustache working itself around his nose as the yelling started again. 'You lied to me over your freak sister! She isn't even worth the effort of your deceptiveness, Petunia.'

As the front door slammed, Petunia returned to the dinning room. Glaring at her sister, she spat, 'I hope you're happy now, Freak.' With that, she spun on her heels and raced up to her room, slamming her door shut with enough force to cause the silverware in the armoires to rattle in the dinning room.

'Well. That was rather eventful.' Sarah said, her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment. Frank patted Lily's hand, as the redhead's face soon matched her hair in colour, due to her mortification.

With a whispered excuse me, Lily left the table and made her way up to her room. Frank noted that she did so in a much more dignified –and silent –manner than her older sister.


	22. Chapter 22

**A chapter filled with angst and Jily fluff, it has been re-written at least three times to make sure everything worked; reviews would be extra appreciated and just might entice me to update before the week is out!**

 **Disclaimer: You are reading my blood, sweat and tears; but all it would take is a quick glance into my bank account to realize that there is no profit to be gained from this story. Enjoy!**

 **Voila,**

 **Chapter 22**

'Proonngggss! Someone's at the door!' Sirius bellowed, feeling the blood rush to his face due to his odd seating position on the couch, after having heard the muffled sound of knocking.

'Padfoot, answer the door then!' As Sirius heard James call from the kitchen, he grumbled to himself from his upside down position on the couch.

'Sure, pick on me. Just because you have your bloody head in the oven doesn't mean I have to do everything around here.' He grumbled good naturedly, falling onto the floor in a heap before righting himself and making his way into the entrance hall. As Mr. and Mrs. Potter were at work, and probably would be until much later that evening, James was just putting in a casserole for supper that would be kept ready for whenever everyone felt like eating.

Brushing his robes free of the rumples and dog hair, –which followed him everywhere, as he'd noticed shortly after he completed the transformation, –he opened the door. When he saw the distraught, tear stained face of Lily on the other side, all traces of good humour immediately vanished.

'Lils?!' He gasped, stunned.

Can –can I stay here for a few hours?' She whispered brokenly.

'Oi, Prongs! Get your fat arse here _now_!' As Sirius ushered a frozen Lily inside, he noticed the clutched broom in her hands. 'Merlin, Lils. Did you _fly_ here?!'

'Padfoot, what –Evans?' As he noticed the shivering Lily, the frozen broom clutched in her hands, and the ever flowing tears making their way down her face, he gripped her by the shoulders and brought her upstairs and into his room, Sirius following beside them. He closed the door while James went into the closet and grabbed Lily a pair of old sweats and his comfiest, warmest sweater to put on, pushing her into the adjoining bathroom and closing the door, calling for Twitch as he did so.

* * *

Just as James had succeeded in forcing the freezing redhead to grip the mug of hot chocolate that was delivered by Twitch, there was an impatient tapping noise against the window. Opening it, James furrowed his brow at the two owls as they flew directly towards Lily, seated on a loveseat in front of the fireplace. As she claimed the letters, she cast barely a glance at the front of the envelope before tossing them aside on the coffee table in front of her, frowning into her hot chocolate. James and Sirius shared confused glances over her head as James made his way over again after closing the window once the impatient owls left. As he caught a fleeting glance at one in particular, James became even more confused at Lily's disinterest; wasn't one of them Marlene McKinnon's owl?

'Lils? Did something happen? D'you wanna talk about it?' Sirius asked, feigning indifference.

' _That'_ she said, pointing to the first owl with a disdainful glance, 'is from the ministry. I'm guessing it's my " _official warning"_ for performing underage magic outside of school.'

'What did you do? And why?!' James asked, flummoxed.

'I cast a heating charm on myself two hours ago. It wore off, as I'm sure you've noticed.' She said, grumbling over her frozen hair. She searched her person for a moment before withdrawing her wand and cast another heating charm on herself, as well as a cleaning one on her hair, in order to get rid of the crunchy texture being frozen induced. It was then that she noticed the sweater she was bundled up in was in fact James' Quidditch Captain sweater. As she let her hair cover her face, she breathed in the familiar scent that was wholly James with a sense of comfort and let herself relax for the first time since she crossed the border between her two worlds at King's Cross.

'Why did you need to cast a heating charm in the first place though?' Sirius asked impatiently as Twitch appeared and set a plate of cookies –peanut butter and chocolate, her favourite –in front of her. Sirius had sat down in the couch across from her while James was directly beside her, his arm around her shoulders and rubbing his hand up and down her arm, in the hopes of trying to insert even more warmth into her body.

'Because I've been flying that ruddy broomstick since eleven o'clock this morning.' She grumbled, glaring at the iced-over broom nestled besides her.

'Lily. Why. Have. You. Been. Flying. Since. Eleven. O'clock. This. Morning?' Sirius ground out through clenched teeth at the same time. He began to tap his fingers against the table in a rhythm discernable only to himself as he stared at her.

James, feeling quite confused and worried by that point, asked, 'It doesn't take two hours for you to fly here though, right? What took you so long?'

As Sirius took in the tear tracks, the pale shade to her skin, as well as the mask that was firmly in place on her features, he grew furious. Furious over her deception, that she managed to come off as cool, if a little troubled, but whole. Tear stained, but centered. As if her whole world wasn't falling apart, when Sirius knew that it was.

Maybe you had to live through it to be able to recognize the set jaw, squared shoulders and shaking hands. Maybe you had to know that, where others were concerned, it didn't matter. Because it was a familial matter; but when your family is falling apart at the seams, and you're left stranded on the other side, it matters.

It matters to those that care about you, because if they only knew half of the guilt ridden thoughts going through your head, they would not hesitate to smack you senseless. They would then not hesitate to hug you until you broke down on their shoulders, after finally realizing that you were in fact, not alone.

Sirius knew that Lily had not done so yet; technically speaking, neither had he. However, he knew which method was preferred; he didn't want her to still feel guilty, even six months later –over something that she had no control over –over her family's decisions, unable to separate yourself from them completely.

He knew that the only reason to get her to feel better, was to get her to speak.

He also knew how little chance there was of making that happen without a little extra persuasion.

Making a decision, Sirius went over to his trunk and began searching for something inside of it. When he returned, clutching a bottle of firewhiskey, he met James' confused glance for a moment before pouring some of the fiery liquid into the mug in front of Lily. As she made eye contact for the first time since her arrival, Sirius winced at the pained expression, though he recognized the determined glint that was mixed in with a sense of pride. With a murmured word of thanks, she drank greedily, letting both the hot liquid and the burning alcohol warm her up from the inside.

As she sunk both into the couch and into James' half-embrace, she sighed.

'I, err, got a little lost.' Lily said, sheepishly. 'Anyways, it's kind of hard to see through that many tears. Also, Petunia is a cold-hearted bitch who doesn't appreciate her Freak Sister pointing out that all of her problems aren't, contrary to her own belief, my fault.

' _Vermin_ came over this morning for brunch. I guess Petunia's been saying rotten things about me all along, and he believed them. Only, when he complemented my parents on the food this morning, my dad said that he should be complementing me, since I was the one who cooked it.'

'How many cups of coffee did it take?' James teased lightly, glancing down at the girl who had curled up into his side, shivering. He pulled her closer and draped a blanket over the both of them, hoping that his body heat would make its way to her even faster. The heat pooling in his stomach was completely normal and had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Lily was curled up in his side, wearing his Quidditch Captain hoodie, and smelt stronger than ever of roses.

'Two. Not nearly enough, if you ask me.' She laughed slightly. 'So, he turned to Petunia, asking what my dad meant, since I am apparently nothing more than a worthless, spiteful, conniving bitch who does nothing around the house. Mum and Dad set him right, which meant that they proved that Petunia lied to him, so he left the house in a huff, saying how Petunia was trying to kill him by giving him poisoned food or something.

'She stormed back in to the dinning room, spouted a few words, and made her dramatic exit as usual. By that point, I felt so awkward that I just bolted to my room, but Petunia was already in there. She wanted a few words with me.' Lily closed her eyes and leaned her head against James' shoulder, missing the apprehensive expressions on the two boys' faces. 'She spouted the usual shit about how unwanted I am, how I always ruin everything, and that I practically just ruined her engagement. She started yelling about how pitiful I am, that our parents can't bear the shame of having a freak in the family but that they don't want me to know, and how I'm so freaky that I don't have any friends, even among other freaks like me.'

As Lily kept on explaining what happened after Vernon left, she kept on drinking from her mug. After she ran out of the hot chocolate and firewhiskey, she smiled slightly as Sirius just passed her the bottle after taking a swig from it himself. Once Lily took a drink, she passed it along to James.

'What am I? A hippogriff?' James demanded, extremely affronted, as he took the offered bottle.

'No, but she's never met you. She thinks that I'm just making you all up, since she hasn't met any of my friends since first year, aside from Snape; the fact that she hadn't seen him at all during the summer just solidified her belief that not even the freaky, greasy git from the neighbourhood wanted to be my friend. All of her yelling caught mum and dad's attention, so when they came up to see what was going on, they started defending me. Only, that just caused her to turn on them. I left just as she accused them of always picking my side; I didn't particularly want to stick around to see _that_.'

'Well, shit.' James declared, once he'd passed the bottle towards Sirius.

'Understatement of the year, Prongs.'

'So those letters are…?'

'One is a warning from the Ministry of magic, because of the charm, and the other is another letter from Marlene, apologizing again for my not being able to go over to her place at all during the holidays.'

'Why can't you? She's staying home during the holiday, isn't she?' James asked confusedly while Sirius' expression showed his upset.

'Her family's home too, right?' Sirius asked tonelessly.

'Yep. For the entire break, too.' Lily said calmly, meeting Sirius' grey, understanding eyes. 'That's the problem.'

'Why is that a problem?' Asked James, growing impatient.

'…because they're prejudiced against Lily.' Sirius said flatly.

' _Pardon_?!' James sputtered, aghast. 'The McKinnons?!'

'They think that Voldemort has the right ideals, though they aren't gutsy enough to do anything about it –in public, anyways –' Sirius explained, coldy.

'Trust me, they make their opinion perfectly clear when in the privacy of their own home.' Lily said bitterly, taking a long drink from the almost empty bottle. 'Marley's different than her family, obviously, but it's hard enough for her over the breaks as is, let alone if she were to bring home someone like me.'

As James looked closely at the girl that had curled herself into his side, he noticed the bags under her eyes and it pained him to think of how little she must've slept, how close to an emotional breakdown she must've been for her to come running, rather than facing her sister again. He imagined how she must be feeling, to have been alienated not only by her friend's family, but also her own.

He looked at her and he felt his heart break for the overwhelmed, shattered redhead that he might, possibly – _definitely_ –be in love with. The one who might be feeling like she was screwed up, but who was actually the strongest, bravest and fiercest person that he's ever met.

He looked at her eyes and saw, to his relief, that the spark in her eyes shown through the traces of tears, the stoop of her shoulders against spiteful remarks and the heart hardened against the hatred and discrimination. It took more willpower than what James had ever imagined he'd possess to not kiss the girl that he was absolutely, infallibly and completely in love with, because at that moment, he realized that he could never allow himself to cause her more pain; could never atone for the pain that he had already caused her.

As James took another long swig of firewhiskey, he privately nursed his broken heart while he enveloped the love of his life into another half-embrace.

* * *

As Lily felt her head spin, she let go of her problems for the minute. She let herself focus on the feeling of security, certainty and _love_ that encircled her. She let herself relax, and she gave a small, content sigh before snuggling more deeply into James' warm embrace, letting the smell of pine, soap, home and spice bombard her as she took another sip of firewhiskey. While James and Sirius started talking over her, she listened with half an ear, choosing to focus on the heartbeat directly under her ear; at least, until she heard one specific word.

'Remus is coming over tomorrow sometime after lunch for Christmas dinner, but I got a letter from Peter earlier, saying that his mum planned a vacation to France for the two of them starting on Boxing Day for the rest of the hols, so he won't be coming over at all.' James said, his voice tickling her face due to the vibrations in his chest. With a sinking feeling, Lily snapped her eyes shut.

'Didn't he hate France the last time they went?' Sirius asked, amusedly sympathetic.

'That's why I sent off a letter with our sympathies.' James laughed quietly. As he snuck a customary glance at the redhead curled into his side, he noticed the fresh tears travelling down her face. As he borught her swiftly onto his lap in one move, he knew that had they'd been completely sober, she'd have smacked him already. Wrapping his arms around her completely and rubbing her back, James was oblivious to Sirius leaving the room as he cooed softly, 'Shhh… It's okay… you're okay… what'd I say wrong? … what's wrong, baby girl? …'

'" _Baby girl_ "? I'm older than you are!' She snuffled with a small, watery smile, her head still against his chest. As she encircled her arms around his neck, she lifted her head just high enough to make eye contact.

'I'm talking about maturity level her, Evans.' He sniffed, a proud, haughty smirk on his face. However, it was not his smirk that she noticed –which, only six months ago would've irritated her beyond belief –but his eyes. For all his teasing, it was his eyes that gave away the compassion and worry that he felt, and it took her breath away.

James, for his part, felt like he was dying when her eyes latched onto his. Still swarming with tears, red and puffy after hours of crying, and slightly unfocused after the firewhiskey, they still held the self-same spark in them that had drawn him in back when they were eleven. When he heard her brokenly whispered 'Christmas.', he felt rather confused.

'Christmas? What do you mean?' He whispered, tightening his hold around her almost subconsciously.

'I'll have to go back and deal with her tomorrow, for Christmas. And Easter too.' She replied, burrowing her head into the crook between his neck and shoulder and enfolding her arms around his neck tightly, rather than where they had been wrapped around his torso. As her rose scent bombarded his senses, James was baffled with her thought process.

'What on earth gave you the impression that you have to go back so soon? And why would you have to go back for Easter break?'

'She's getting married that weekend, and Mum forced her to at least invite me. I'll have to deal with her all over again. And I have to go back tomorrow because I can't stay here, and I don't have anywhere else to go.'

'Who said you can't stay here?' He demanded, incredulous. He pushed aside the feeling of pity over the fact that she nowhere else to go, focusing on a problem that he could actually fix, and altogether tried to forget about Lily having to face her sister alone at the wedding.

'It'd be imposing, James! I can't do that.' She mourned quietly into his neck, sending shivers down to his toes.

As he forced her to release her hold on his neck, he pulled her face back and looked into her eyes, saying, 'Lily. There is nowhere else I'd rather you be. You will in no way be imposing on anything. Promise. If it'd make you feel better, I could always accompany you to the wedding –you'll probably have to take my wand so I don't hex anybody, but it might not be as bad if you aren't all alone.' Even after her hesitant nod about the wedding, he saw that her worry had not completely abated regarding her staying for the rest of the hols. James pulled her to him once again and said; 'Plus, this way, you can help me out with taming the Marauders, who're are all reuniting tomorrow anyways –aside from Pete, who'll be in France. Maybe we can convince Mrs. McKinnon to let Marlene visit for a few days and we can play some quidditch.'

She pulled back just enough to smile a watery smile before returning to the crook of James' neck and shoulder and the comforting smell that awaited her there. With a whispered word of thanks, Lily's breathing slowed as she drifted off, feeling completely safe and carefree for the first time since before she got off the train at Hogsmeade.


	23. Chapter 23

**I'm going on vacation for the next ten days or so, and I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write/post.  
**

 **Reviews are better than chocolate!**

 **Disclaimer: While I'm old enough to perform magic outside of Hogwarts, I am not old enough to be the creator of this beautiful world. Anything you recognize is not mine.**

 **Chapter 23**

Once James' parents assured Lily that she could stay for the rest of the holiday, it was only a matter of getting all of her things from her house, as well as parental permission. It was decided that Lily would be returning around seven that evening, so that her parents didn't get too worried –and to give her enough time to be free from the effects of the alcohol –with the help of Twitch, the Potters' house elf, to pack and then return with Twitch once more. Just as she was getting ready to leave, she ran over to a worried James and asked, 'Would you mind coming with me? It, um, might be for the best if you're coming with me to her wedding, since my parents will've already met you.'

'I'd be glad to, Evans.' James said with an easy-going smile. While he understood that the real reason was because she didn't want to have to face her family alone, he knew that it was her way of trying to be strong, to gain some control of her life back, piece by piece. He was only glad that she still allowed him to be in it.

'LILY MARIE EVANS! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!'

'Shit.' Lily swore under her breath, wincing when her mother approached, arms waving and chest heaving, her father –though much calmer –not far behind. As she was pulled into a tight embrace, Lily looked at James with pleading eyes. She gasped in relief when her mum stopped squeezing the life out of her after James' small, polite cough. As Frank Evans turned to James, Lily's mum continued with her own interrogation.

'Who is that, Lily? Where were you?! You've been gone for hours, without even a word! Do you have _any_ idea how lucky you are that I haven't murdered you yet, young lady?!' Lily winced, tuning her mother out mid rant as she listened to James' conversation with her dad.

'Good evening, Mr. Evans. I'm James Potter, a friend of your daughter's. I'm sorry for any worry that her absence has caused on your part, though I'm afraid that I can't say I blame her, either.' As she saw James shake her dad's hand, she was dumbfounded at just how polite and respectful he could be; due to his Marauder activities, he saw much more of their teachers than the rest of the class, due to all the detentions. As such, he became less formal, though he maintained a substantial amount of respect –teasing and continued pranking notwithstanding, of course –with their teachers.

'You aren't _the_ James Potter, are you? The one that she's been swearing at under her breath since her first year?' Her father asked, surprised.

'The very same, I'm afraid. Though now that we've become good friends, she's progressed to swearing at me outright and calling me on it when I've done something ridiculous.' He replied with a chuckle. 'Anyways, my parents and I were wondering if you and Mrs. Evans would allow Lily to stay with us for the rest of the holidays. A few of our friends will be staying as well.'

'Not that Snape boy, right?' As Lily's shocked face revealed just how little she had been paying attention to her mother, she watched her father frown in dislike. She hadn't been aware that he knew of her falling out with Snape.

'No, sir. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and hopefully Marlene McKinnon, should her mother agree.' James reassured him.

'I thought the McKinnons always travelled during holidays, and that's why we don't usually see much of her.' Sarah interrupted, finally giving up on scolding her daughter –not that her daughter was paying her much attention anyways –preferring to peer at the attractive young man that she had brought home with her. As she regarded him with a dubious expression, James reached out his hand.

'James Potter, ma'am. I'm Lily's friend. They usually do, but Marlene had hoped to be able to sped the holidays with her friends for a change, and so my Mum has been in contact with Mrs. McKinnon to make the arrangements for awhile.' Lily watched in hidden amazement as the lies flowed smoothly off of James' lips.

'James here was hoping that Lily might be able to spend the rest of the holidays with them all. Black and Lupin will be there as well.' Mr. Evans said.

'Remus? He's a nice boy. Won't let Lily get up to too much trouble, I reckon. Much better influence than you are, dear.' She said pointedly at her husband, the corners of her lips twitching upwards at her husband's completely unabashed expression. 'Very well. Go pack your things, Lily Flower.' Lily avoided James' eye after the nickname, groaning when her mum warned, 'Petunia's in her room. Don't start anything!'

'Here Lils, how about you let me help you out with all of your stuff.' James called, catching up to her just as she got to the doorway. With a grateful smile, they both made their way upstairs, ignoring a glowering Petunia once she caught sight of the two friends.

* * *

'So how much do your parents know about what's going on?' James asked as he brought her trunk up the stairs and into her room.

'If you're talking about Petunia and I, whatever they aren't in denial about; if you're talking about all the pureblood mania, then nothing.' She said, carrying her owl cage and broom stick after him. Her mouth formed an 'o' shape as she gaped in shock at her surroundings; while she had stayed in this room during the party over summer break, she hadn't realized just how enormous it was when there was only one queen sized bed, against the wall in the center of the room, and decorated properly. The bed was covered in a fluffy cream and gold duvet with gold accent throw pillows, as well as a cream storage bench at the foot and a matching upholstered headboard. Surrounded by windows on either side, the bed was across from a doorway that led into a gorgeous en-suite bathroom, complete with a separate bath and shower. The stone fireplace on the far wall was flanked by bookcases on either side, with two comfy-looking chairs in front of it facing each other, separated by a wooden coffee table.

'Hey Potter?' She said weakly, still gaping around the room.

'Yeah, Evans?' He responded, scrutinizing her face.

'Not sure if you're aware, but you're bloody rich.' She breathed, laughing quietly.

'Thanks, Evans, I had no idea.' He laughed. However, his face soon lost it's cheer when he asked, 'So your parents really don't know about anything going on? What about Voldemort?'

'If my family knew about him and his followers, I wouldn't be allowed to go back to Hogwarts, and while I'd still be a witch, I would not be able to defend myself. And _that_ is what I refuse to allow to happen.' She said firmly, meeting his eyes with a look of determination in her own. He became extremely grateful that he was no longer on the receiving end of her hexes anymore; at least, not the really painful ones.

'Oi! McKinnon's owl showed up while you were gone. Seems as if it was a good thing to forget to mention to Mrs. McKinnon that Evans' here, because she's letting Marlene come over around the same time as Remus; sometime tomorrow afternoon.' Sirius called, coming into the room and making himself comfy by plopping facedown on the bed.

'Thanks Merlin! Someone to save me from the Marauders! I'll live!' Bellowed Lily, smiling as she laid down on her back on the storage bench, with her feet twisted so that they could rest on the foot of the bed. 'Oi!' She hollered indignantly, as she blinked once the pillow was removed –it seems as if Sirius didn't take too kindly to her teasing and had attacked her with a pillow. Taking out her wand, she retaliated by covering the boys in honey, swiftly followed by conjuring mountains of feathers and dumping them all on the still confused boys. She ran out of the room laughing as James and Sirius shook of their shock and went to chase after her, demanding that she let them hug them because they had missed her so.

* * *

Christmas morning arrived with much more fanfare than usual, mostly attributed to the wonderful breakfast that awaited most of the inhabitants of the house –there seemed to be a lack of coffee that morning, however; almost as if they had run out after the rate of consumption necessary for Lily Evans to get started before eight in the morning. It seems as if the night before, Lily had made her way into the kitchen and asked Twitch if she could wake her up at six thirty in the morning with three cups of coffee so that she could have time to wake up and get herself ready, start cooking, and wake up the boys.

As she went back up the stairs and eased open the door to the boys' room, she mentally thanked Mr. and Mrs. Potter for being magical just as she pulled out her wand.

' _Ducklifors!'_ She cast, swiftly followed by ' _Augamenti_!' As James and Sirius began squealing in indignation, they tried to verbally tell her off. This only made Lily laugh even harder, as they failed to realize that she had turned them into ducks _before_ shooting them with water, and were only emitting squawks and honks. After they tried shaking off as much water as they could manage, they waddled haughtily before her –she had fallen to the floor in tears of laughter –and made their way downstairs to the kitchen; the pecking atop her head was the only indication that they even realized what she had actually done –well, that and the fact that they remained resolutely silent until she removed the spell. As soon as she had, she clamped her hands over her ears as both boys yelled out happily 'PRESENTS!' and ran into the family room. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were already there, having woken up at the initial squawking, knowing from past experiences that they would get no more sleep that morning.

Apparently, Lily's parents had also handed James her own gifts from them, as she unwrapped the usual from them; new toiletries, her rose perfume, and (of course) copious amounts of chocolate –while she loved Honeydukes finest, she brought out the Muggle chocolate while she was studying late into the night; she ignored the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she noticed that Petunia had not given her anything, and focused on her presents from her friends instead. Marlene had given Lily her own broom servicing kit –with a note that demanded she now stop stealing her own –, while Alice had given her a new pair of boots and a scarf. Dorcas had gifted the redhead with a book on advanced charms as well as the different proprieties of multiple potions ingredients, and the effects they may have in various potions. Both Peter and Frank had gotten her a variety of Honeydukes, which she had found amusing, as she had done the same for them. She laughed as she opened Sirius' gift to her, a wrist wand holster as well as various types of specialized coffee that the House Elves could prepare for her and she smiled when she saw that Remus had given her an extreme amount of Honeydukes finest as well as a box set of one of her favourite muggle book series.

She gasped as she opened a jewellery box containing a silver necklace with a beautiful lily charm, inlaid with her birthstone, a garnet. She looked up, mouth gaping, to see a blushing James glancing over her reaction worriedly. She tackled him into a hug, blushing furiously as she sent them both crashing to the floor, arms still around one another. Once they righted themselves, she turned around and gestured impatiently for him to put it on for her. Once he managed –his hands were quite shaky, not that he'd ever tell anyone –she hugged him once again and breathed into his ear, 'It's beautiful, James. Thank you.' before sitting down beside him to better see both his and Sirius' reactions to their own gifts.

Coughing slightly to clear his throat, James smiled and said, 'No problem, Evans.'

Sirius, turning away to hide his smile, opened his own presents; thankfully, Marlene had taken pity on him and gave him a new set of Beater's gloves, as well as a handbook for new moves that he and Lily could try out. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had given him a new set of dress robes, since his own still bore the Black family crest and motto, as well as the firewood necessary to burn the old ones. James had given him another dessert cookbook, which included recipes from all around the world, as well as various Muggle pranking items (they never made it onto the list of contraband items in Filch's office, and so the teachers could not confiscate them). Peter had sent his usual gift basket from Honeydukes, followed by Remus' gift of two books that included various spells with dubious uses and a new sweater, since it had originally been given to him by his mother before he intercepted it (all of the boys had received knitted sweaters from Remus since second year, in the hopes of them no longer stealing his own, only it had regrettably yet to make a difference). Lily had given him a black leather jacket, multiple rainbow gel muggle pens ('Awesome, Evans!') as well as a book on defensive and offensive duelling techniques, with a note telling him that if he studied up, she'd help him train with the Auror level training dummies in the Room of Requirement. He smiled broadly at her, even more so when she shot him a wink once he opened up the book immediately, much to the Potters' amusement.

James, having finally managed to overcome his blush and stop smiling, opened his own presents; Marlene had decided that a book on quidditch strategy and exercises would be appreciated as well as a new Gryffindor Captain scarf, since his own bore some rather peculiar holes; he claimed they had been made by an annoyed stray dog that he had seen during a Hogsmeade visit. His parents had given him a new camera and the developing potions necessary, since his own was looking as if it had seen Sirius' bedhead too many times and would crack the next time it was forced to look upon such a horror. Sirius himself had given him his own variation of Muggle pranking items, as well as various types of teas, since he had a new favourite every other week.

Peter had also sent him the usual gift basket from Honeydukes, followed by Remus' gift of one book on advanced transfiguration and another that included various spells with dubious uses (different version than Sirius', so that they could all compare notes) and his own sweater. Lily had given him some silly string after noticing that the Marauders had never used it, and explained just how, exactly, they could use it themselves, as well as a guide on the usefulness of potions in pranking –informing them of her willingness to help with the more difficult concoctions, so long as no one got hurt, as she did so. Finally, in a note separate from her gift, it seemed as if Lily had hastily written down the name of multiple charms, as well as their counter-curses. When he looked at her questioningly, she murmured from her place beside him, 'Go tell your Dad that.'

'Oi! Dad!' James called across the room, staring fixedly at his father. After he repeated the words on the parchment from Lily, he looked questioningly between an amused Lily and a shocked Mr. Potter.

'Miss Evans, would you care to demonstrate the exact nature of your gift? It seems as if my sons are confused and my husband is too rather dumbfounded to be of much assistance.' Mrs. Potter chuckled, noticing Sirius' evident confusion as well. Both boys gasped when Lily laughed and went over to stand in front of _The Cabinet Of Death_.

'Merlin, Lils. You didn't!' James demanded, belatedly, as Lily chanted the counter-curses and opened the cabinet. He sat there, on the ground, staring between the open cabinet and her, the magnificent, beautiful, _sneaky_ girl who had been to Potter Manor for all of two nights, and yet had figured out his father's – _his father, the head auror_ –charms before all of the Marauders put together –and they had been trying _for years_! He was still there, gaping, two minutes later when Sirius bonked him on the head with an empty wrapping paper tube. 'That's it. You're dead meat, Padfoot.' As James sprung off the floor and tackled his best friend, he was unprepared to defend himself as Lily began attacking the both of them with both a pillow and a tube of her own. Laughing, the three chased each other around to the sounds of the elderly Potters amusement, until their stomachs got the better of them and they converged on the beautifully prepared breakfast that Lily had made.

Together, the five dined in the peace that could only be found at the table of a family that loved one another, which was only proved as Sirius loudly demanded retribution for James withholding the bacon and Lily launched eggs at them before calmly taking a sip of her coffee.

* * *

 **R &R, if you please!**


	24. Chapter 24

**After planning out my timeline in great detail, I have a feeling that this fanfiction will last at least 45-50 chapters, depending on whether or not I need to split up the chapters even more; so far, I'm at 48, but some are fairly large and may need to be separated.** _ **But,**_ **I may also cut things out, considering there's a chance I might change a few things between now and when I go to publish a chapter. It's planned to go until Lily and the Marauders graduate, tying in some loose ends with an emotional write up, and I highly doubt that will change.**

 **I am still open for ideas, if any of you want to leave it in a review, if I like it, I can see about working it in (if that's not possible, I won't force it –just like with Blackinnon, as much as I ship them, I'll see where they take me in regards to a relationship; might just be left as subtext, or as foreshadowing for their relationship beginning after they graduate). I do need more prank ideas though, quite desperately (for incentive, I'm planning on doing a Marauder Prank War the week leading up to Aprils Fools Day later on in the fanfic, and prank ideas are necessary for that to work; help me out?).**

 **Disclaimer: Sirius would not have been allowed to die.**

 **For the record, this is mostly a filler chapter. Anyways, here you go;**

 **Chapter 24**

 _If I should stay_

 _Well, I would only be in your way_

 _And so I'll go, and yet I know_

 _That I'll think of you each step of my way_

Sirius Black had one of the biggest protective streaks than that of anyone else Remus knew, aside from Lily, James and Mrs. Potter. While purely speculation, Remus thought it had something to do with his upbringing, or more specifically, the treatment of himself and his brother at the hands of their parents.

Even before they knew of his reasons for his monthly absences, Remus knew that, while it had been James' idea originally, Sirius put the most care into the notes he began taking for Remus to copy after the full moon, always being more precise and complete than his usual standard –his meticulous writing certainly had something to do with it, as he had been required to learn proper handwriting and note taking abilities from a young age, considering his status as the Black Family Heir, along with James (though James' parents never put as much emphasis on it, and so his writing turned into a slanted, hurried mess –unless he took the time to write slowly; this rarely happened, as he wrote at the same level as he thought, which is to say, fast).

It had taken until their fourth year of school before Remus picked up on the more subtle hints, the most prominent of which were his unconscious habit of stepping in front of the other Marauders when they were caught. Initially, Remus had always thought it was because Sirius knew that out of all of them, he was the better at avoiding the truth, or flat out lying should it be required, to avoid getting into trouble. It wasn't until Remus thanked Sirius one night, after they had been caught running down the halls by Flitwick with red paint on their hands after having painted the Slytherin's portrait wall Gryffindor Red, and Sirius stepped forward and claimed that they all had been enlisted to help with some repairs and such around the castle, as a way of making up for their most recent prank, by Professor Dumbledore that Remus realised that Sirius had no idea that he had been doing it. It took awhile, but Remus eventually picked up on the fact that, while retelling stories of his childhood or holidays prior to staying with the Potters, Sirius had been doing it to protect Regulus from their parents for years, and that protecting his brothers was as much a part of his instincts as blinking.

It had been a complete accident, but Remus would never be able to forget a conversation he overheard shortly after their third year Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson on boggarts; Professor McGonagall had approached Sirius while Remus had been approaching unnoticed by either under the invisibility cloak with the required prank items and had asked Sirius why on earth he would be going home for the Christmas holidays, if indeed his boggart was his parents, as was the rumour –each student had been facing the boggart on their own, with only the presence of that year's DADA teacher, so as not to broadcast each other's own worst fear to the rest of their peers. Once Professor Melburne had seen Sirius' parents emerge, telling him that he could make something of himself yet, if only he'd do as they said, (Sirius, who had been dealing with that for years by that point, told them to stuff it before casting the spell and turning their robes into a shiny, metallic gold muggle style spandex leotard, having them dance around the room and singing ridiculous muggle show tunes that he heard –and had rehearsed, in preparation for that very break –in Muggle Studies) he'd gone to Professor McGonagall, as it was a private matter that should be dealt by the Head of House. Neither she, nor Remus, had been expecting Sirius' half hearted –yet resigned –chuckle, saying that he had no choice and that he could not leave Regulus alone with them. Remus doubted there had ever been anyone more fit to Gryffindor House than Sirius Black –who had been facing his greatest fear repeatedly for weeks at a time–and he had a feeling that McGonagall agreed, if the wet gleam shinning in her eyes was anything to go by. Shortly thereafter, Sirius began getting weekly detentions with McGonagall, and although he never mentioned what he did during those detentions, he always returned smelling of tea and biscuits, and Remus had never felt more grateful towards Minerva McGonagall than ever before.

As Remus observed his friends throughout their years of friendship, he saw that it was Sirius, rather than himself, that benefitted the most from having friends, for they gave him a reason to return to his family, if only to prove them wrong. They gave him the strength to continue with his not-so-silent rebellion, because they proved just how wrong his parents were; werewolves, blood traitors and muggleborns surrounded him, and they showed him more compassion and empathy within a year than his entire family ever had. They understood him, and accepted him unconditionally, while his entire family shunned him. And for that, they would always have his loyalty, and his protection.

* * *

As Christmas Day continued on, Remus and Marlene joined the other three at the Potters' that afternoon. As they made their way upstairs and towards James' and Sirius' room, they heard screeching and laughter. Bracing themselves, they cautiously approached the door –their level of caution had become ingrained after having been pranked, hexed or cursed so many times –and peered into the room. Immediately, Marlene gathered that it seemed as if James and Sirius had done something that deserved to suffer the effects of the redhead's famed wrath; Lily clutched her wand in her hand, continuously casting _rictusempra_ on Sirius while she herself was straddling James' torso and was tickling him mercilessly.

'Lily's really abusing the lack of trace here, isn't she?' Remus asked, laughing.

'Merely a bonus to her, I'd say.' Marlene murmured with a smile, pointedly looking between Lily, who was still on top of James, and Remus. She smothered a laugh when she noticed that both him and Sirius (who had to wipe the tears of laughter from his eyes) began to look at Lily even more closely. 'She hasn't laughed like that in a while.'

'Oi! You three! Behave yourselves!' As Remus dumped a conjured pile of snow on each, they froze. ' _Shit_.' He swore. As he turned around and bolted from the room, a sodden James, Sirius and Lily began chasing after him. After vanishing the melting snow, Marlene joined the soaking, snow-drenched masses that were her friends outside.

When they saw her laughing at them, the three stopped attacking Remus and deemed retaliation was called for; Lily charmed a pile of snow to continuously fire snowballs at her while James had transfigured his hat into a catapult and began his own attack. However, Sirius chose much more Muggle methods and decided to tackle her, pinning her to the ground while burying her body in snow. Remus had time to launch his own counter attack (transforming the snow patches under everyone into ice so they all fell) and soon, a full blown snowball war had begun.

More than an hour later, Lily said, 'Oi! Happy Christmas, Remus, _Bitch_.' Laughing, Marlene noticed that her friend might still have some pent up aggression over her charming Lily's own conjured snowman to holler Christmas carols, dance circles around her –which prevented her from escaping –and heaping mounds of snow onto the redhead, until she herself resembled a snowman.

'Thanks, Lils. Appreciating all the warm, _gushy_ feelings.'

Lily scoffed at her friend, a smirk sneaking its way onto her face. With a laugh, she jumped onto the brunette's back, wrapping her legs around her waist and her arms around her neck.

'Move it, McKinnon. Wouldn't want me to start _yelling_ , would you?' Laughing, Marlene winced; the fiery redhead was loud enough when her mouth _wasn't_ right by one's ear.

'Oi! What's Evans doing to McKinnon?' James said, coming over to the girls' side. As he approached, James stared between Marlene and Lily and then proceeded to poke Lily right in the side. With a loud yelp, she let go of her best friend to better protect her sides. Upon seeing her face, James ran away from a indignant Lily and into the relative safety –or at least warmth –of the kitchen, as the redhead began to chase after him. Marlene walked back with Remus and Sirius, each of them laughing as they heard James call out 'EVANS!'.

'Looks like Lils caught up to him.' Sirius smirked, to Marlene and Remus' amusement.

* * *

As the holidays approached their end, the group of Gryffindors began the hunt for their belongings, which had become strewn about throughout the manor during the length of their stay; the fact that Sirius had wanted to initiate a treasure hunt with everyone's belongings only exacerbated the situation.

After they all made sure that they had everything they needed, they all said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Potter before flooing to the fireplace set up at the train station and began to stow their belongings. Marlene, James and Sirius stayed behind to wait while Lily met up with her parents on the platform for a quick hug goodbye, unwilling to leave her alone. They were all glad to see that Petunia didn't accompany them; Lily didn't think she'd be able to restrain her friends and give herself enough time to control her own temper without her parents realizing just how poor relations between the two sisters really were.

Marlene watched as Lily straightened her back and squared her shoulders, making certain that her parents saw her as strong and unaffected by her sister's past cruel remarks; sometimes, Marlene really hated the Gryffindor pride. As Marlene watched the Evans' share a stiff hug, she waved at the elder Evans' as they caught sight of the three friends waiting for Lily to reach them. Wrapping an arm around the redhead's shoulder, Marlene led them all into the Marauders' compartment, asking them about the pranks they had planned for the week, and waited for the train to depart.

* * *

Once the train had arrived at Hogsmeade, the group dispersed themselves into two different carriages; Dorcas, Alice, Frank and Peter went into one carriage, while Lily, James, Sirius, Marlene and Remus went into another.

While the others bantered and laughed, Marlene spent the carriage ride worrying about Lily. However, the more she observed, the more her worry turned into contemplation; Marlene knew Lily well enough to know when her best friend was upset. This meant that she also knew her best friend well enough to know when she _wasn't_. And when Lily was with James, she was about as far from upset as Marlene had seen her in awhile. With a small smile of satisfaction, Marlene leaned back into the seats, causing her thigh to casually brush up against Sirius'. She spent the remainder of the time looking out of the window and up at the stars, missing the glances a flustered Sirius sent her. Not long thereafter, the school could be seen out the windows as they approached. As Sirius and James' stomachs began grumbling, the group caught up with the others and made their way into the school laughing.

As the students entered the Great Hall, the entire population of Hogwarts shot apprehensive glances towards the group of Gryffindors that meandered towards their seats, the Marauders being some of the first there. As they impatiently picked up their utensils and turned as one to stare at the Headmaster, their ravenous appetites became apparent to all. Once everyone had claimed a seat, Professor Dumbledore stood up; with a wave of his hand and a twinkle in his eyes, the welcoming feast appeared onto the groaning tables instantaneously. As the eyes of everyone once more turned to the Marauders, the students and staff alike examined what the four boys took and, deeming it to be safe, helped themselves to the same dishes. The Slytherins, who in the past, seemed to have many pranks set for them only, could be seen waving their wands to determine if there had been anything added to the food that should not be there. After they found nothing themselves, Professor Dumbledore smile as the remaining group of students all began eating as well.

Suddenly, certain students began rising from their seats.

Dumbledore watched as all four Marauders, Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon, Victoria Russell, Marcus Steeling, Amorie Bones, Rowan Chang, Frederick Diggory and many other students from all houses rose from their seats. He swept his eyes over the staff table as many members of staff also rose, including Rubeus Hagrid, Filius Flitwick, Minerva McGonagall and, finally, himself, without any indication as to why he had such an inclination to do such a thing. It wasn't so much that he was forced to do such a thing, as more he felt no inclination to _not_. While Dumbledore knew the incantation to remove the jinx on the food, he instead chose to wink at the four boys before he opened his mouth (along with all those who stood) and began to sing.

What started out as Christmas tunes soon morphed into a variation of popular Muggle songs, to be finished off with a grand edition of the Hogwarts School Song; he laughed as they all sang the school song to the tune of their favourite song, without even needing to think of it, and was highly amused that Filius sang to the tune of a song by a muggle heavy metal band. As most of those effected by the prank finished relatively early, everyone stood captured as Lily Evans and James Potter were the only ones left singing, both to the same tune of a Muggle love ballad. As those who had been inclined to sing fought down their own upset (many were rather horrid singers and never would've consented to do so had they had any choice), they listened transfixed as Lily and James' voices interacted with each other, coming together and separating as they each took the song in a different, yet extremely harmonious, direction. As Lily's voice rose in pitch, James' lowered, all the while maintaining the semblance that their voices were interwoven together. While separated, neither had such powerful singing voices –not that they were painful; James especially sang quite well, though he preferred the piano over singing –but the combination moved most of the castle's inhabitants into a calmed and relaxed sense as they slowed and finally finished off on the last verse. There was a tense silence, as many stared gaping at a blushing Lily and James, before Sirius led the school in a round of applause. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled greater than ever as he made eye contact with James before raising his glass in a toast to all the wondrous singers the school housed and an invitation to continue with their –hopefully undisturbed –meal. Before they were all dismissed, the Headmaster warned the students to be on guard for the various pranks he was sure were to be instigated throughout the week, both from the Marauders and Peeves.

He retired to his chambers shortly thereafter, humming alone to the tunes of _I Will Always Love You._

* * *

 **The song was** _ **I Will Always Love You**_ **by Dolly Parton; for the record, I don't own the song, either.**

 **Side note: Since I'm getting two of four wisdom teeth taken out on Tuesday, I'm not sure when I'll feel up to completing the next chapter; I've only just started it, but I'll be pretty loopy for a while and I doubt it'd make much sense if I were to try to finish it. (Reviews can be quite comforting for those who've just gone through dental surgery, or so I'm told…)**


	25. Chapter 25

**I survived! So sorry for the wait between chapters, I hadn't intended for it to take me this long; though the length of the chapter did play its fair part, all flames should be sent to my wisdom teeth and not me.**

 **Great big thanks goes out to all those who have taken the time to review throughout this fanfic, I beg you to please keep it up! It means the world to me, and it makes me type much faster (this is a proven fact; I was able to update twice in one week last time, and all because I got a few words of feedback!). Can we make it happen again?**

 **Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine.**

 **Chapter 25**

* * *

As the week progressed, the student population started to hide from their Transfiguration Professor (especially the entirety of Gryffindor House, aside from, of course, the group of sixth years). While they were not to blame, the students noticed McGonagall's eye twitching from all the restraint it took her from refraining to assign detentions straight away, and they all wisely decided to not tempt their luck. Finally, after an exhausting week, she summoned the four into her office with nothing more than a glare and a finger point. They went without complaint, though Sirius gathered his confidence and began strutting as soon as her back was turned. As she perched herself behind her desk, Sirius reclined in his own chair with his legs stretched out and his ankles crossed, while Remus sat up properly yet comfortably, Peter slouched meekly and James plopped himself down, openly and yet unabashedly.

'Do you four realize just how serious some of your more _elaborate_ pranks were this year?!' She demanded, glaring at them all from behind her desk.

'But, Professor, we won! Against _Peeves_! That's three years in a row, you know!' Sirius said smugly, munching on some of McGonagall's biscuits that she always had set up on her desk (Remus started noticing that she started carrying all of their favourites after their third year and so none of them ever felt guilty when they snagged one, though Sirius wouldn't have regardless).

'To be frank, boys –'

'–why would I want to be Frank, Professor?' Sirius interrupted cheekily. 'I mean, he's a decent bloke and all, but I think I'm far more attractive, don't you agree?'

'Mr. Black.' She said, her lips thinning.

'Yes, Professor?'

'Do not interrupt me again, or I will transfigure yourself into the cleaning supplies necessary for the detentions you will otherwise be assisting Messrs Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew.'

'Yes, Professor.' He mumbled his agreement, returning his focus on the plate of biscuits in front of him.

'As I was saying, you boys took it too far this year, why I have _never_ –'

'–To be fair, Professor, not everything we did goes against school policy.' James interrupted assuredly, allowing a small smile to grace his features. While Remus straightened himself in preparation of backing up James' claims, Peter and Sirius hid their amused smiles behind their biscuits. McGonagall thinned her lips even further, though many students would've thought that they could go no thinner (those who, like the Marauders, spent much more time in her presence than the casual student knew that they could indeed go _much_ thinner, and that they might even be hiding a smile, if you were lucky enough).

'How do you figure, Mr. Potter?' She demanded, quirking an eyebrow. While it had been a long time since he faltered under that look, James made sure he gathered his defence before continuing. He figured it'd be best to go in chronological order, starting with the prank that followed the day after the Welcoming Feast.

'We were only displaying House pride when we charmed everything into Gryffindor colours, Professor, we swear!'

'Yes indeed, Mr. Potter. However, you did not charm the belongings of fellow Gryffindors, but rather the Slytherins. I fail to see how that can be applied.'

'Can you imagine Snivellus' face when he saw that even his underwear was gold?' Sirius snorted under his breath, causing Peter to breathe out a chuckle so that McGonagall did not shift her attention to them, rather than on James and Remus.

'That's besides the point, Professor.' James said, unable to hide his grin.

'Explain, Mr. Potter.' She huffed impatiently.

Now, James Potter was not stupid.

He was smart enough to research his Head of House, trying to determine her thought process in the hopes of to better be able to justify his actions. While he knew that he'd never met someone more Gryffindor in his life, he also knew that she had been a Hat stall –where the sorting hat took over five minutes to decide on a House. It just so happened that the hat was torn between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. After researching and debating with the other Marauders for a month in their first year, they'd decided on a course of action in regards to defending themselves to their Head of House; turning to her Ravenclaw side and fighting with knowledge. Since then, they had stuck to their tactics and managed to _not_ be expelled, despite some rather daring pranks; while Sirius was usually the best when it came to twisting the truth to work to their interests, they all took turns so that she wouldn't pick up on it. It helped that James and Remus were _very_ well versed in the school policies (they had been since they got their acceptance letters, though for two _very_ different reasons).

James smiled as he turned to Remus, allowing him to explain the situation to their testy Head of House.

'You see Professor, it never specifies that we must demonstrate House Pride on members of said House, only that it is permitted. Furthermore, we cast all of the enchantments _during_ class time, rather than after hours or in the hallways.'

Pursing her lips, McGonagall replied, 'I see. And what about the love declarations of Misses Bellatrix and Narcissa Black the following morning? I highly doubt that the both of them felt such passionate sentiments concerning Professor Slughorn, not to mention the damage of school property that their little… _spat_ , if you will, resulted in.' Sirius smiled and pretended to wipe a tear of joy as he remembered seeing his cousins fighting over who loved the Potions Professor the most. Peter laughed as he remembered Narcissa furiously tackling Bellatrix over the breakfast table in retribution for loving what was hers.

'No charms were cast to cause for that to happen, in class or otherwise. Frankly, I'm surprised that they managed to hide their feeling so well over the years. I found it rather obvious myself.' James said. Sirius smirked into his biscuit, glad he wasn't the one doing the ' _Twisting Of The Truth_ ' (as the boys had dubbed the position) this time; he doubted he'd have much success at controlling his joyous emotions, though he did not feel particularly inclined to do so at the moment. 'In addition, _we_ did not cause any damage to come to school property, that was all the Blacks. One would call it an … _unforeseen_ _bonus_.' James supposed, eyes shinning in amusement. While burying all traces of her own amusement, Minerva highly suspected that they'd used a potion –she also knew that she had no way of proving it, unless they were caught; unlike with using a spell, where casting _Finite_ _Incantatem_ would just reveal it, it was extremely difficult to prove a potion had been ingested (unless one could recognize it by the effects and was able to counteract them) but in most cases, there were too many possibilities concerning the exact potion used unless there was a sample of the potion available.

'And the theft of all of the faculty's undergarments, only for them to appear the next day, strewn about on every chandelier in the Great Hall?' She demanded, a furious pink tinge coloring her cheeks. The Marauders smothered their laughter, remembering some of the more outlandish articles that they had seen; they could no longer look Professor Sprout in the eye without seeing Venus fly trap adorned knickers.

'Surely by now, Professor, you've learnt that the House Elves take care of all of the laundry? They must've set out a load to dry during the night and …forgotten.' Chortled Remus, unable to disguise his snort that time.

'I swear, you four, half of my gray hair is due to you.' McGonagall sighed, rubbing her eyes wearily from under her glasses.

'Aw, but you know you love us, Prffs'r!' Sirius chirped, passing her one of her favourite type of biscuit from the platter that had moved into his lap.

'Two weeks detention, be glad that's all. Dismissed.' She sighed, accepting the biscuit and banishing all of their chairs with a wave of her wand. As they were still sitting on them at the time, all four Marauders fell to the ground with an _oomph!_ of surprise. They left her office smiling and waving at her cheerfully before shutting her office door and leaving her in peace –and seriously considering a drink.

* * *

'What's wrong with his ear?' Lily asked Remus as she approached, gesturing to James -he was scrutinizing his ear in Marlene's borrowed hand mirror and seemed to be grimacing at what he was seeing. 'If I had his face, I'd grimace too, but he seems to be rather focused on his left ear.'

Chuckling at an indignant James, who'd heard her comment, Remus answered the redhead, 'He's proving to us that thanks to McGonagall, his left ear sticks out more than his right.'

'But what would McGonagall have to do with anything?' She asked, slapping James' hand from his ear as he continued to study it. 'Stop it, it looks as fine as usual.'

'Evans! Did you just call it _fine_? My ear is woefully abused and misshapen!' James protested, pointing between his ears. 'If only McGonagall would switch ears for once when she's yanking me to her office –or, better yet, _just stop doing it altogether_ –we wouldn't have this problem!'

'Yes, but if you stopped doing stupid shit, she wouldn't be dragging you there every other day.' Marlene said, coming to stand beside Lily with a smirk. Lily snorted at James' unbelieving expression.

'Please, Marls, like that'll happen. He amuses himself too much.' Lily scoffed smiling, linking her arm through her friend's before walking away to their DADA class. As the rest of the group slowly filtered in –including the Marauders –Professor Vane, a retired Auror, entered the classroom with a bang of the door.

'Can anyone tell me what a dementor is?' He asked once he had seated himself behind his desk. He watched as a handful of students raised their hands, some more confident than others. 'Evans.'

'A dementor guards Azkaban. As soulless creatures, they feed off of human emotions and cause depression and despair in its victims. The Dementors Kiss is where the dementors suck the soul out of a person, leaving them an empty shell. It's been said to be a fate worse than death.'

'5 points to Gryffindor. Can anyone identify possible defenses that we have against them?' The Professor asked, peering out at the sixth years Gryffindor and Slytherins. 'Mr. Lupin?'

'The Patronus charm is the most known, sir, though isn't it supposed to be beyond NEWT level?'

'Very good, take another 5 points. The charm conjures a magical guardian, a projection of all your most positive feelings. The Patronus Charm is difficult, and many witches and wizards are unable to produce a full, corporeal Patronus; however, given the situation outside of the castle's walls, the Headmaster has granted me the permission to teach the NEWT level students. Can anyone tell me what could influence the form of a Patronus? Greengrass.'

'The specific animal forms that corporeal Patronuses take vary from person to person and reflect each individual's personality, sir. They can be subjected to change however, should the caster go through an emotional upheaval of some sort, like falling in love. The origin for this is mostly based on the fact that Patronuses are conjured by recalling happy memories, it stands to reason that a Patronus might change its form after one falls in love and the memories used to conjure the Patronus largely revolve around the person the caster is in love with.' Answered Solange Greengrass promptly.

'Correct. Five points to Slytherin. In normal circumstances however, the Patronus will often be the same animal as the Animagus from -undiscovered or otherwise -as is the case with Professor McGonagall. I will gather the assigned three foot essay on the charm and the dementors now, and while the correct performance of the spell is not required for a passing grade in this unit, extra credit will be given depending on the success of the charm cast. Today you will all be tasked with casting the Patronus charm, though do not be disappointed if you do not succeed. The complete spell would produce a corporeal Patronus in the form of an animal, though mist is often all that an average wizard can produce.'

As Professor Vane sent all of the desks and chairs to the outskirts of the room, the class separated themselves. After he established the wand movement and incantation necessary, he demonstrated the charm. ' _Expecto_ _Patronum_!'

He let his beaver roam around the classroom for a few seconds, much to the students' delight, before he let it fade away and ordered them to begin practising. All around, chaos soon ensued as incantations were cast, along with varying degrees of volume. In total, the sound emanating from the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom resembled that of a tidal wave; loud and never-ending.

After more than an hour, he saw much progress had been made with some and very little with others. He smiled encouragingly at those who had failed to produce even a fine mist and clapped encouragingly when a student succeeded. As most of the class had succeeded with producing mist, he almost missed when the first student achieved the fully corporeal Patronus.

'Miss Evans! What –was that –did you really –Merlin, girl, do it again!' He said, hurrying over towards the blushing redhead. When everyone had ceased in their own attempts, he gestured impatiently for her to cast the charm again.

' _Expecto Patronum.'_ She murmured quietly, yet with full conviction. As James was focusing so intently on the girl in front of him, the girl who possessed such self-confidence, in a way that never merged with cockiness, he was so caught up in his thoughts that he almost missed seeing what the form of her Patronus was; that is, until he felt Remus nudge him sharply in the side, just as Sirius gasped from shock. While James, along with the rest of the Marauders, had assumed it would be in the form of a lion, as was her Animagus form that they discovered during a prank in the beginning of the year, they realised that they were wrong.

Lily Evans stood there, directing her Patronus to stride around the classroom, her head held high and her legs straight, just as James stood there gaping, ready to faint from shock. Her Patronus _wasn't_ the lion they had all assumed it would be, but rather a doe.

As the rest of the class slowly managed to regroup in an attempt at success before the bell rang, James approached Professor Vane and asked if he'd be able to be given the opportunity to demonstrate his Patronus one-on-one once everyone headed off to lunch. With a confused expression, the Professor agreed.

Once the class all left, including their group of friends (but especially Lily), James waved his wand in the continued circular motion required as he thought as hard as he could about Lily, curled up in his sweater and sleeping contentedly –and willingly –in his lap, and said ' _Expecto Patronum.'_

James had been confident that he could do it; before he approached the professor, he had cast the charm enough times and found that he had been stopping it more and more often from being at full capacity as the class went on.

He kept his face impassive as he saw the Professor's eyes widen at the stag, who had begun to canter around the empty classroom, and turn to him. He could see that the Professor realized exactly why he had asked to stay behind and so, without another word spoken, he grabbed his bag and left to make his way to lunch.

What he failed to see was the corner of Snape's robes as he ran away from the sight of the stag, the horrifying conclusion dancing across his brain just as the doe had done earlier around the classroom.

* * *

Lily's cheeks hadn't stopped flaming since their DADA class earlier that day. Just because she was the first person to manage the spell didn't mean it gave everyone permission to gawk at her for the rest of the day. By the time dinner rolled around, Lily became extremely fed up with the staring and decided to retreat into the Room of Requirement for some peace and quiet after scarfing down her meal (the boys had made a comment about her wolfing her food down and she had retorted, saying that she'd leave that to Remus, not that anyone but Sirius caught on to her actual meaning). Just as she turned down the empty third floor corridor to enter the hidden passageway that'd take her straight up to the sixth floor, she heard someone call her name. Groaning, she turned around.

'What? Oh. It's you.' She said, gazing upon the furious face of Snape. 'What do you want? I'm in a hurry.'

'Oh? No doubt you're going to meet your _boyfriend_ , right?' He snarled, disgusted.

'What are you on about now, Snape? I don't have a boyfriend, not that that's any of your business.' She asked impatiently, wishing that she was far, far away from here.

'You know, _Lily_ , I really thought you were better than that. Of course, that was before this summer, but it's good to know that I'm still right about these things.' He said, staring at her in contempt.

'What on earth are you talking about? Are you still on about James?' She asked, getting furious.

'You know, I knew you were a slut, I just didn't realize you were this _stupid_. You think he actually _cares_ about you? Please; you're nothing more than another notch on his bedpost. Potter's only ever wanted one thing from you, Lily. And that's to win. So maybe he'll finally move on, because he's _already_ _won_.'

'What the bloody hell are you on about now, Snape?' Lily asked tiredly, unable to decipher whether or not she actually gave a shit about his answer.

'You've fallen for him. The little Mudblood slut actually fell for his little act. I bet he's pleased. Tell me, is he worth it? Is the sex worth it, Lily? Because it seems as if it's cost your entire personality, _including_ your brains.'

'Oi! You listen here, you fucking wanker! Would you just lay off? For Merlin's sake, Severus! _Why –Do –You –Even –Bloody –Care_?! We aren't friends anymore! So why the hell does my personal life affect you? Not that its _any_ of your business, but James and I _aren't_ _together_ , you sodding twat. But you know, even as friends he treats me better than you ever did.' Lily yelled, furiously.

'The blood traitor and the Mudblood; it's a match made in heaven, apparently. Too bad sluts like you won't ever be there.' Snape snarled.

Suddenly, Snape was sent reeling backwards; once again, it seemed as if he had a broken nose. Only this time, it wasn't because of Lily.

'Bloody hell, that hurt. You could've warned that breaking his nose hurts so much Evans.' James said, gripping his right hand with a grimace of pain as he continued to glare at Snape, who was clutching his bloody nose.

'Oh look, Mudblood. It's Potter, here to save the day. Wonder what he'll have you do to thank him later…' Snape said, pretending to contemplate.

As James' face turned steadily darker due to rage, Lily turned her back to James and faced Snape.

'Fuck you, Snape. Leave him out of this. Just because you feel like you need to stick your abnormally large nose into _my_ business, doesn't mean you can get away with doing it to the people I care about. Oh, by the way; you might want to get your nose looked at; wouldn't want it to stay any bigger than it already is.' She snarled, turning on her heel and dragging James by the elbow to the Room of Requirement.


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm so sorry for not posting this earlier; a lack of internet was involved and it couldn't be avoided. Sorry!**

 **After looking it up, I saw that angered deer hiss; I'm working under the assumption that stags do as well. For the record though, what does the stag say? (I'm ashamed of my lack of control… or at least I would be if it didn't amuse me so.)**

 **Disclaimer: I own only the plot –and even that claim is fishy, since I try to follow canon.**

 **Chapter 26**

As Lily took James by the elbow and led him away, it took all of his concentration to not turn around and go right back to punching Snape; the hand gripping his own surely helped, but James tried to ignore the feelings accompanying that as much as possible.

He couldn't help but keep replaying the conversation over in his head, his fury still not abating.

 _James had just been trying to catch up to Lily after she left the Great Hall. As he left a few minutes after her, it took a few minutes before he caught up to the redhead. He had just turned the corner onto the third floor corridor when he heard Lily hiss, 'What on earth are you talking about? Are you still on about James?' She demanded, notably furious. James froze, still invisible to Lily and whoever she was furious with –James was just glad that it wasn't him –but able to just be able to see Lily. He silently crept closer, hoping to see with whom she was arguing with and determine whether or not she needed his assistance; ever since the OWL incidence the previous year, James had been trying to be more selective on when to intercede on Lily's behalf and take matters into his own hands and when to leave it up to her –a feat of which he was mostly unsuccessful, but the thought was there._

 _'You know, I knew you were a slut, I just didn't realize you were this_ _stupid_ _.' If James had a different animagus form, something more vicious, he would've been growling. As it was, James puffed up his chest in righteous fury and started hissing under his breath –he still thought it was better than squeaking furiously, as was most likely to happen with rats. 'You think he actually_ _cares_ _about you? Please; you're nothing more than another notch on his bedpost. Potter's only ever wanted one thing from you, Lily. And that's to win. So maybe he'll finally move on, because he's already won.' Snape snarled. James himself felt rather disgusted and incensed as to Snape's claims, waiting for Lily to refute James not caring for her; he wasn't entirely pleased as he stared at Lily and watched as her face contorted into many different emotions; the most prominent being exhaustion._

 _'What the bloody hell are you on about now, Snape?' Lily asked resignedly. James noticed that she didn't refute the accusations that he didn't care about her and he tried to manage the disbelief swarming his senses; if that woman_ honestly _thought he didn't care about her after all this time, James swore he'd go mental._

 _'You've fallen for him. The little Mudblood slut actually fell for his little act. I bet he's pleased. Tell me, is he worth it? Is the sex worth it, Lily? Because it seems as if it's cost you your entire personality,_ _including_ _your brains.' James noticed through the haze of fury that Snape seemed to be oozing of jealousy. Lily, of course, was undoubtedly oblivious to Snape's not-so-hidden emotions (at least not at the moment) and looked outraged at his words –though James had a feeling it had little to do with the Mudblood comment and more to do with the remark regarding her brains and personality –not to mention her sex life._

 _'Oi! You listen here, you fucking wanker!' James would've been wincing in pity for anyone other than Snape at hearing Lily's tone. Instead, he smirked gleefully. 'Would you just lay off? For Merlin's sake, Severus!_ _Why –Do –You –Even –Bloody –Care_ _?! We aren't friends anymore! So why the hell does my personal life affect you? Not that its any of your business, but James and I_ _aren't_ _together_ _, you sodding twat. But even as friends, he treats me better than you ever did.' Lily bellowed, furiously. James, whose fury had only been growing as the confrontation progressed, finally hit a boiling point at Snape's next words._

 _'The blood traitor and the Mudblood; it's a match made in heaven, apparently. Too bad whores like you won't ever be there.' Snape snarled. James tore off across the corridor, running towards them at full speed with his fist raised –if one were to see him, they'd find he looked rather comical, resembling a cartoon superhero._

 _After a satisfying crunching sound emitted from Snape's face, James swore under his breath as he shook loose his knuckles._

 _'Bloody hell, that hurt. You could've warned that breaking his nose hurts so much Evans.' James said, gripping his right hand with a grimace of pain as he continued to glare at Snape, who was clutching his bloody nose._

 _'Oh look, Mudblood. It's Potter, here to save the day. Wonder what he'll have you do to thank him later…' Snape said, pretending to contemplate. As James forgot about the pain and seriously considered punching Snape again –only harder, because apparently he didn't learn his lesson the first time –Lily stepped in between the two boys._

 _'Fuck you, Snape. Leave him out of this. Just because you feel like you need to stick your abnormally large nose into_ _my_ _business, doesn't mean you can get away with doing it to the people I care about. Oh, by the way, you might want to get your nose looked at; wouldn't want it to stay any bigger than it already is.'_

* * *

As James tried to hide a scowl of pain that wanted to emerge on his features, he clutched his smarting hand close to his torso and tried to take note of his bearings. While he had expected to be led to the Hospital Wing –not that James, a manly teenage boy who could handle anything by himself, needed to be brought there, he just expected to not have the choice, considering Lily's mothering tendencies –he was left feeling quite confused and put out to find himself standing across from the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy on the seventh floor. His confusion only grew when Lily began pacing in front, only to be shocked when a door suddenly appeared in front of them.

As they entered, James noticed that the room looked eerily similar to the Gryffindor Common Room, with a corner of the room sequestered as what looked similar to the duelling room in Potter Manor.

'Hey Lils?' He asked weakly, gaping around the room. He noticed that even his favourite armchair by the fire was in the same spot.

'Yeah, James?' She asked, chuckling at his expression as she led him towards the armchair. As she sat him down, she perched herself on the arm and reached over to the side table to grab the first aid kit that she'd asked the room for.

'Where are we?' He asked, staring at the side table beside him, certain that there hadn't been a first aid kit before he sat down.

'Room of Requirement; it transforms into whatever you need, just pace in front of it three times and think strongly of what you want. You can ask Sirius how I found it later.' She explained as she took his hand in hers, examining it. As she cleaned away the flecks of Snape's blood that splattered onto his hand, she looked for a potion for the pain, a potion to mend broken bones –different than Skele-grow, since it does not re-grow the bones, but merely fix them –and a potion to reduce the swelling. As she handed them to him, he took them with a confused glance before downing each one with a shudder and a grimace.

'How do you know what to give me?' He asked as she continued to inspect the hand, moving it to an elevated position to wait for the potions to take effect.

'Dad used to box –Muggle sport where you punch people for fun –and he always made sure that Petunia and I knew how to defend ourselves. I enjoyed the sport more than she did, so I practised more; I think I've had that same injury at least five times since I was nine, both here and at home because I kept up during the school year thanks to this room, and I've landed a few off punches since then; I didn't give you anything that Madam Pomfrey wouldn't have, but I saved you from her questions. Speaking of which; keep it on the pillow for half an hour and don't move your hand because otherwise the potions won't react favourably to the disturbed blood flow and they may end up going to your foot instead.' She said brightly; the fact that James was unable to determine whether or not she was joking unerved him greatly.

'Yes ma'am.' He chuckled faintly. James inspected the corner of the room closer, finally noting the Training Dummies. 'Lils, why this room? What with the dummies?'

'This is the room I usually ask for. Makes things easier for me to relax after I'm done training.' As she saw the puzzled expression on James' face, she elaborated. 'You see those training dummies? I set them up and duel against them; moving targets are always more interesting.'

'Wait; you've trained against _Auror_ - _level_ training dummies? How many levels have you beaten?' He asked, incredulous.

'Oh, well… I've beaten the entire thing three times this year.' She said sheepishly, blushing to match her hair.

'At the _Auror_ level?' James demanded, incredulous. 'You're kidding. Do you know that my Dad, Head Auror, has only beaten them once? In his entire career?' James stated, both proud and awed of the girl in front of him. 'Can I watch? Please! It's not like I have anything better to do anyways.' As James begged, he watched the expressions cross her face. He knew the moment she agreed and gave a whoop of glee.

'Fine! I'll do it. Just shut up already.' She smiled nervously to take the bite out of her words as she went over and set them up. James made himself comfortable on the armchair, now turned so that it sat directly facing the duelling area.

Familiar with how they worked, James watched as she started off with merely one dummy, programmed to the auror level –there were levels one through ten, followed by an auror level, each one with their one corresponding available spells to use against their opponents; level one used very basic offensive spells, auror level using the most advanced.

He watched as she avoided using shields, resulting in her dodging, jumping or rolling out of the way of the jets of light targeting her instead. While he knew that most of them would be unable to be blocked with any regular shield, such as _protego_ , his breath caught as she moved gracefully and began duelling. After she defeated the first dummy, two more appeared. As she continued on in such a manner, he lost track of time as he gaped at the redhead, barely able to close his mouth when she finally took a break after defeating twelve out twenty rounds. The entirety took less than thirty minutes.

'How many of those dummies did you picture having Snape's face?' He asked, hoping to hide his awe by teasing.

'Not nearly enough.' She growled, glaring into the fire. After a few minutes, she hesitatingly asked, 'How much of the conversation did you overhear?'

'More than enough to warrant a good hexing.' James said darkly. He studied Lily's profile while she continued to resolutely stare into the fire; after noticing the stiffness of her shoulders and her white knuckles, he slowly put his hand on her shoulder. 'You know he's wrong, right?' James said quietly. When she turned her confused eyes to him, James said 'I do care about you, Lils. You're an amazing person and I'm so, so, so lucky to call you my friend. Frankly, I don't know what I did to deserve to call you my friend.' He murmured, just barely loud enough for her to hear.

'What are you on about, James Potter?' She demanded impatiently. As much as she had been worried that he didn't actually care about her, she was not about to idly sit by while he brooded over absolute crap. 'Why shouldn't I call you my friend?'

'What have I done to earn your friendship, Lily? I hexed your best friend, causing him to call you the worst name he possibly could when you defended him to me. Where does it sound like I'm a decent bloke to be friends with?' He asked miserably.

'Are you still on about this? I thought I told you before school started that I didn't blame you, you dumbass; I swear to Merlin, James Potter, if you blame Snape calling me a Mudblood on yourself, I'll hex you to the Giant Squid's lair and back.' She warned, reaching for her wand, causing James' eyes to bulge. After nodding vigorously, his sigh was audible when she relaxed her grip on her wand. 'I already told you that I got used to that name last year; that wasn't the reason I ended our friendship.' As she watched James open his mouth furiously, she added, 'Alright, it was a part of the reason, but that wasn't the clincher; do you know what spell he used on you when he cut your cheek that day?' She asked softly, rubbing her finger along the aforementioned cheekbone. He shivered slightly at her touch and tried to figure out when they had gotten so close to each other –probably when she started yelling at him; Lily had a tendency to get right up in your face when she wanted to give you a piece of her mind.

'No, why? What's it matter?' He choked out, desperately trying to maintain some semblance of composure.

'He used _Sectusempra_ , James.' She whispered, appalled. When she saw his confusion, she explained her trepidation over the spell. 'Snape created the spell just before term let out. That day by the lake was the first time he tried it out, and his aim was a little off.' She said, meeting his eyes. James was surprised to see so much misery in the emerald depths. 'It's a lethal spell, James. Severus created it for use on enemies. It causes slashes to form all over the body; without knowing the counter-curse, the victim would be dead within five minutes due to blood loss.' She said brokenly. 'I was there when he created the spell in the library and I didn't tell anyone. You could've _died_ , James, all because of me –because I didn't, I didn't –' She broke off on a sob, burying her face in her hands. He sat there in shock for all of a second before he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and brought her into his lap. She buried her face in between his neck and shoulder and clutched the front of his robes tightly as his hands rubbed circles on her back and whispered comforting words into her ear.

'Lils, you didn't know; it's alright, Lils, you didn't know.' He continued in such a manner for a long time, clutching her to his chest while trying to comfort the distraught redhead on his lap, until she managed to get control over her emotions.

'That was the last straw for me. He didn't care that he could've killed you.' She murmured into the crook of his shoulder.

James didn't know how long they stayed there that night, neither moving aside from James' ministrations of rubbing her back while she kept her face buried; he just knew that they stopped far too soon for his liking.

* * *

If one thought the Hogwarts rumour mill was fast acting, it had nothing over the Marauders' system; not that the information ever reached the student body –the four boys would surprise everyone at just how sly they could be at withholding information, but that was usually to ensure that it could be extracted in its full value during a prank.

As Sirius heard from James about the confrontation between Lily and Snape, he became enraged towards the Slytherin. His protective streak –which was barely controlled when it came to the girl he loved as a sister, due to all the crap she'd been dealing with so far –escaped him as he, James, Remus, Peter and Marlene always made sure that there'd be at last one of them walking with Lily to each class, with none of the others knowing that the altercation even took place. Sirius found himself trying desperately to maintain control whenever he saw the smirking, self-righteous face of Severus Snape in the halls or in class; it took everything in him to refrain from snarling like a dog –the other Marauders would've found it amusing if they weren't dealing with the situation in a similar fashion.

He was browsing the stacks in the library with Peter –secretly guarding Lily, who was studying at the next table over –when his temper reached boiling point after seeing the greasy git enter the library.

'I swear to Merlin, Wormtail, if I ever get my hands on Snivellus again, I'll do more than break his nose.' He snarled, slamming a book into place on the bookshelf. Peter nodded his agreement determinedly.

'I'll help you. That sodding twat deserves nothing less – _especially_ after casting that hex at James.' Peter said, furiously thinking about all that James had confessed to them that night in the dormitory after returning with Lily.

'If he's bright enough to have created his own spell, he should've been able to figure out that Remus goes to the Shrieking Shack whenever he disappears.' Sirius scoffed, snorting. 'He's been obsessed with it long enough.'

'Not to mention how he gets there; I mean, it's pretty obvious, isn't it?' Peter guffawed.

'Right? I mean honestly, how difficult is it to figure out that there's a passageway under the Whomping Willow, so long as you tickle the knot? The greasy, slime-ball git doesn't even have a brain to go with his big mouth.' Sirius snarled, fuming.

Neither boy was paying much attention to their surroundings, aside from the customary glances towards the studious redhead around the corner. As such, neither noticed the sallow-skinned and long-haired boy standing one bookcase behind them, blocked from view but well within hearing distance. Neither Marauder noticed Severus Snape's wicked smirk as he heard everything he needed to know, knowing that Remus had left earlier that afternoon once again.

Now that Snape knew where he'd be, he might just pop in for a visit, vowing to himself that he'd get the Marauders expelled once and for all.


	27. Chapter 27

**So, I was unaware that the famous Werewolf Prank had in fact, happened during their fifth year when I wrote out my plot line, but it's too late now, and so I hope that you all can forgive me –and that you enjoy the scenario, without finding it tremendously cliché.**

 **Sorry for the wait, but a lack of internet combined with writer's block delayed the process. As this chapter was especially hard to write out, so any additional feedback would be greatly appreciated.**

 **Disclaimer: No money is being made from this work and no copyright/trademark infringement is intended.**

 **Chapter 27**

' _Hey Remus, mind helping me out with a homework problem?' James asked, staring at his friend significantly. Remus figured that James meant the prank instead, mainly because it involved Nifflers; it was a universal fact to Gryffindors that James Potter was absolutely hopeless when dealing with magical creatures. While he was not to the extent as Hagrid, he felt that most just needed to be calmed a certain way for them to become friendly. He didn't understand that sometimes, they're just dicks. And their main goal in life is to maim or kill teenage boys._

' _Of course, James. I'll be right up.' He started to remove his watch, knowing the dangers involved when one wears shiny objects around such creatures, and saw a relieved smile on his friend's face before James ran up to their dormitory._

 _Remus sighed in relief that James seemed to have forgetful tendencies; while he's one of the most protective people Remus had ever met, James' prying tendencies had led to some awkward questions this past term for the Second Year Werewolf. It seemed as if James had cared enough to listen to all of Remus' excuses –a feat of which Remus would always marvel over –and gathered that one of his Aunts had passed away a few too many times._

 _Remus had started mentally preparing himself for their rejection as he began distancing himself once Sirius and even Peter began making note of his absences –while Sirius worrying was never anything new, the fact that even Peter picked up that something was amiss terrified the Werewolf. He knew the prejudices surrounding his condition, he knew of the dangers that accompanied any sort of relationship with someone who possessed Lycanthropy, but Remus had resolutely decided to keep his head stuck under the sand for as long as possible, if only to enjoy the sensation of actually having friends for the first time in his life._

 _Remus had known that his time was starting to end, but that did not mean that he wouldn't milk it for everything it was worth before his friends realised what he was and started treating him –the boy who had been deliberately putting them in danger for over a year; who had lied to them, repeatedly; who had not trusted them as much as the others had; who had kept secrets, huge secrets, for extremely selfish reasons from his best friends –like the dangerous monster that he was._

 _With a sad smile, Remus ran up the stairs after one of his best friends, deciding that keeping one's head in the sand just a little longer wouldn't be the end of the world._

* * *

'Hey Wormtail! You and Padfoot kept a close eye on Lily when she was in the library today, right?' James asked, sitting himself down beside his friend at the Gryffindor table.

'Of course, Prongs. The Marauders aren't her knights in shinning fur for nothing!' Wormtail snorted, loading his plate with his dinner.

'What did you guys do to Snivellus that made him scurry off then?' James asked, his eyes shinning in amusement.

'What are you talking about, Prongs?' Peter asked, his face reflecting his confusion.

'I was watching the Map,' James had lowered his voice, wary of any eavesdroppers. 'and it showed that Snape made his way over to the bookshelf directly behind the one you and Padfoot were at, only he scurried away not long after. What happened?' James asked, wondering now if there was any correlation between the two events. When he saw Peter pale however, he grew worried.

' _Sodding bloody hell_!' Peter gasped, turning to face James, eyes wide in fear. 'We didn't know he was there –we were talking about how furious we were over what happened with Lily and then we were saying how if he was actually as smart as he said, how come he never figured out that Remus went to the Shrieking Shack whenever he disappeared.' James paled instantly.

'Tell me you guys didn't tell him how to get there.' When he saw Peter's face, he swore loudly, causing many heads to turn and multiple reproachful looks from the Head Table.

'Potter! 5 points from Gryffindor.' McGonagall called over the din, staring him down before he could even think of refuting the penance.

'Sorry Professor.' He returned, before turning once more to Wormtail. 'What were your exact words, Pete?' He demanded quietly.

'I think it went along the line of "how difficult is it to figure out that there's a passageway under the Whomping Willow, so long as you tickle the knot?"' Peter said ashamedly.

' _Fuck_ , Wormtail.' James swore vehemently, before demanding 'Where's Sirius?'

'He's up in the dorm, trying for a kip, I think. He said that he could always go to the Kitchens before coming back to the dorm in the morning.' Peter responded anxiously.

'Let's go then. Snape's over there for now, but he'll want to leave soon. We need the Map and we need to figure out a plan.' James said, rising from his seat and bolting out the doors of the Great Hall, Peter a little ways behind, as he'd grabbed a spare sandwich off the table before following.

* * *

' _Please don't tell me you lot starved the Niffler.' Remus sated with a smile as he entered into the second year boys' dormitory. When he saw James, Sirius and Peter perched on their beds, faces contorted into serious expressions, his smile slid off his face as his anxiety amplified._ Shit, not now. _He thought dejectedly._

' _Remus, why don't you take a seat?' James asked, gulping at the depressed visage that appeared on his friend's features. With an audible gulp, Remus sat and stared at his hands in his lap. As James looked at Sirius and Peter, his own worry clearly reflected in their eyes, he pondered how best to handle the situation._

' _How are you feeling, Remus? Is your Mum doing alright?' Sirius asked after a drawn out pause. He had said earlier that week that he had to leave school for a couple days to visit his ill mother. As a guilty blush crept over the pale boy's features, the three friends feared the effects such tactics had on their sickly-looking friend._

' _She's better. It comes and goes, you know.' The werewolf murmured into his lap, still refusing to make eye contact._

' _Damn it, Remus, we know, alright? We_ know _.' Sirius blurted._

 _Remus was glad that he had taken the advice and sat down. It left him feeling almost separate from himself, as if he was looking down on the scene as it played out below him. As his life shattered before his eyes, Remus took comfort in the simplicity of the blanket upon which he sat, and tried to muster as much dignity as he could, before he let himself face the disgust and horror that was sure to be on his friends' faces._

* * *

As Snape snuck out of his dormitory that evening, it was just getting dark by the time he managed to avoid all of the Prefects and make his way to the Whomping Willow. He had debated with himself ever since he heard Black and Pettigrew talking in the library and in the end, he decided that even if it was a prank, he could always blame them for luring him out of the castle. The chance to finally get them all expelled was too good an opportunity to pass up.

While he tried to figure out a way to prod the knot in the tree, he made sure that he was hidden should anyone look around the grounds; while he was constantly compared to a bat as a child, even he had to admit that his abilities to remain in the shadows unseen when he was so inclined was a vast advantage.

Finally spotting a large stick among the roots of the violent tree, Severus Snape stepped forward and grasped it. As he slowly approached the Whomping Willow, he let the branch prod the knot. He stood there, gaping, as the tree actually froze before him.

When he spotted the tunnel, he smirked gleefully as he made his way towards it.

* * *

' _Damn it, Remus, we know, alright? We_ know _.' Sirius blurted._

 _James knew that Sirius had a tendency to act impulsively, but he also knew that this time, it was deliberate –Sirius was known to be a believer in ripping the bandage off quickly, after all. Remus began whispering words so quietly that even Peter, whose bed was beside the Werewolf's, had a hard time catching anything. 'Come again?' Sirius asked._

' _It's alright.' Remus sighed quietly. 'I'll go to Dumbledore; I'm sure he can arrange for me to move quarters and change my schedule around. Don't worry, you won't have to see me anymore. I'll –I'll stay away.' He finished brokenly. He turned rapidly around and began gathering the hastily thrown clothes on his bed –he didn't turn fast enough for James to miss the tears streaking down his friend's face._

' _What the hell are you on about, Lupin?' James snapped. He winced when he saw Remus flinch, and hurriedly explained his irritation. 'Of course you aren't going anywhere. You belong here. Just like everyone else.' He said simply. 'So what if you get fury once a month; at least you don't turn bat-shit crazy like McKinnon does.' As Remus slowly turned around to face them, James watched as Remus' lips curved slightly at the corners, as if the boy was refraining himself_ _from_ _laughing –Sirius was beside himself with laughter, and even Peter let loose a few chuckles. Sirius –through his own laughter –was still able to catch the worry, doubt, fear and shame in his werewolf friend's eyes._

' _Remus.' He said quietly, in a voice filled with certainty. 'You –all of you, really –are my family. My real family. You mean more to me than my parents, because you never judged me for being a Back –who most other wizards would claim to be just as deadly, if not more vicious, every day of the month. We aren't going anywhere, and neither are you.'_

* * *

Lily was amazed at the lack of effort it took to dislodge the Marauders from her heels that evening when she left for rounds; while she knew that Remus was otherwise occupied, due to it being a full moon, she was left feeling highly suspicious in regards to the other three. When she saw Peter and James rushing up the stairs to their dormitory, only to grab a rumpled looking Sirius and run out the portrait hole, Lily's curiosity was peaked. After much internal debate, Lily decided to take it at face value and left to begin her rounds –if she met up with them later, she could take points then when she had actual proof of disregard for the rules. As it was, she went along with her route, alone and bored out of her mind –she was supposed to be patrolling with Remus like usual, but none of the other Prefects were willing to switch shifts when Remus couldn't make it. Rather than making a fuss about it, Lily just sucked it up and began her rounds, feeling quite relieved that the Marauders were occupied themselves, knowing that they'd have been extremely displeased that she was patrolling the corridors by herself at night.

When she saw Snape making his way over to the Whomping Willow, her unease multiplied. As she saw him find the tunnel that led to were Remus transforms, she swore violently as she rushed out of the castle, wand in hand, hoping to prevent whatever plot it was that Snape had devised.

* * *

James was tearing through the corridors, Sirius hot on his heels and a panting Peter half a corridor away, trying to make it there in time; it had taken much longer than what James had anticipated to wake up the groggy Sirius, and then longer still to explain just what happened in the library.

'Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.' James swore, his words in time with his footfalls down the corridor. He could feel his heart pounding as adrenaline coursed through his body, urging him onwards, commanding him to make it there in time.

They had just burst through the doors in time to see the Willow freeze. Hurrying forward, Peter changed quickly to ensure that it stayed that way –while James and Peter were running to and fro from the dormitory, they decided that Peter would wait by the tree, making sure it stayed frozen so that it wouldn't hurt anyone coming and going. As James and Sirius entered the secret passage, they swore vehemently and picked up the pace as they heard a fierce growl, a loud howl and a scream of terror. When they turned the corner towards the entrance of the Shack, they froze.

' _Lily_?' James gasped, terrified.

* * *

 _As Remus let Sirius' words penetrate his state of shock, he felt himself crumple onto the bed once more, tears streaking down his face unchecked._

' _What did I say wrong?' Sirius asked, confused and terrified. He was absolutely shocked when the tearful werewolf launched himself from his own bed and at Sirius, his arms gripping his shoulders as he whispered 'Nothing, Sirius. Absolutely nothing.' With nothing more, Remus launched himself at the other boys as well._

' _You really mean it?' He whispered into James' ear._

' _Absolutely.' James said firmly, gripping his friend even tighter when he felt more tears landing on his shoulder._

 _While Sirius didn't care about the prejudices his parents inflicted upon him and was rather more likely to continue being Remus' friend, if for no other reason than to stick it to his parents and Remus wasn't as close with Peter as he was with the other two, it was James' reaction that he'd been dreading the most; due to his father' position at the Ministry, James was sure to have grown up with horror stories of the actions of violent werewolves._

 _As Remus fought for control over his emotions, he revelled in the tangible warmth of friendship that wrapped around him more securely than ever before._

* * *

When James and Sirius turned the corner at a run, they almost ran into a recently bound, gagged and stupefied Severus Snape, Lily clutching her wand in her hand right behind him. With a few murmured words, she had him banished to the Headmaster's office, still unconscious and unaware just who had stupefied him.

'What the hell is going on here?' James demanded, his confusion, frustration and terror melding until his tone of voice sounded more like anger than anything else.

'Sodding idiot almost got his head bitten off, that's what.' Lily snarled, her own frustration and adrenaline still coursing through her. 'I think Snape managed to lift the hatch before I stunned him from behind. Hurry, we have to move before Remus smells us.' She said, rushing forwards.

'How do you know about Remus?' James inquired, more confused and less frustrated than before.

'Not now, James. Just _move_.' Lily growled, practically dragging the two boys behind her. Just then, a loud howl cut off any words that might've been uttered, followed by all three teenagers swearing profusely.

'Padfoot, get Evans out of here. Bring her straight to Wormtail, then come back and help me.' James commanded, already turning to face the weakening hatch, the only thing impeding the snarling werewolf from reaching the three teenagers. Lily was dragged, still protesting away by Sirius. Just before they turned the corner, she caught a glimpse of James turning into a majestic stag and gasped.

* * *

As Prongs raced forward and reached the hatch, he listened as Moony growled impatiently and tried to open it. As the stag hissed at the werewolf in warning, he waited for Moony to back away before entering the shack, making certain that the opening was secure behind him. As James playfully raced around the room with Moony, he waited until the werewolf had calmed down enough for him to be able to leave without angering Moony. Once the werewolf picked up on his worrisome and fidgety body language, he let James leave without much fight, curling up on the floor instead to continue in the Shack's destruction.

Prongs raced down the tunnel, turning back into James only once he was far enough away from the werewolf and approaching the Whomping Willow.

It was only as he approached that he could see the nervousness rolling off of Lily in waves. As soon as she caught sight of him, she ran straight into his arms. Dazedly, James wrapped his arms around the redhead's shoulders, her intoxicating rose scent almost overwhelming him.

'You aren't getting off that easy, Potter. We'll be talking later.' Lily swore quietly, her mouth directly beside his ear, her breath tickling his neck. James could merely gulp in response.

'C'mon, we'd better go. I think Dumbledore will be looking for an explanation as to why Snape appeared, bound and stupefied, in his office.' Sirius said, nervously shifting from foot to foot.

* * *

As James, Sirius, Lily and Peter made their way up to the Headmaster's office, the only sound made between them were the sounds of their footsteps on the stone flooring. When they approached the stone gargoyle, Lily uttered 'Pepper Imps' before leading them all up the staircase. Sirius, who'd rather been looking forward to the sweet guessing game, followed glumly. When they knocked on the office door, they heard a calmly spoken 'Enter' before they opened the door and stepped into the room.

As they took in their surroundings, they saw that everything seemed the same, from the cramped bookcases to the table full of odd trinkets, aside from Severus Snape, who was bound and still unconscious –though seated rather comfortably in one of the Headmaster's plush armchairs.

The Headmaster himself merely raised an eyebrow, eyes twinkling brightly, when he lifted his face from the pile of paperwork in front of him. With a casual flick of his wand, enough armchairs appeared in front of the desk for all of the newcomers as Dumbledore set aside the files and gave his full attention to his students. It took merely a couple seconds where they tried to decide how to go about the situation when Sirius blurted, 'It was my fault, Professor.'

While Lily gaped, Peter tried to shrink into himself and James looked rather annoyed, Dumbledore merely gestured for Sirius to continue.

'A few days ago, Snape confronted Lily in the corridors after supper. He said some really horrifying things, so James, who'd been approaching from another corridor and who'd heard most of it, decked Snape in the nose. It was later that night when he was talking to Lily that she confessed that one of the hexes that Snape used during the OWL incident had been one that he created previously that term, only he hadn't had the chance to test yet. That day, he hexed James with it, only for his aim to be inaccurate, as it was his first attempt. Sir, the hex is lethal. It would've killed James had his aim not been off. The intent had been there, as was the dedication to cast it, and so the Marauders decided to stick close to Lils, in case he planned on casting it on her after their fight –she, of course, didn't know about any of that.' He said sheepishly, making eye contact with a partly annoyed, partly appreciative Lily. 'Earlier today, Peter and I were in the library, standing among a few bookshelves away from Lily and I started ranting. I was mocking him for not having figured out that Remus goes to the Shrieking Shack to transform, and how he hadn't even figured out the secret to get pass the Whomping Willow… James told Peter at supper tonight that apparently, Snape had been right behind us the entire time and heard everything.' Lily gasped, looking from the three Marauders to Snape, and finally turning her pained eyes on the Headmaster. She could not decide with whom she was more furious with, Sirius for blurting everything without a care in the world, or Snape, who had fully intended to be malicious and vindictive.

'James and Peter came running to tell me, and we hurried to try and stop him. By the time we got there, he'd already been taken care of.' Sirius continued, glancing at Lily. She explained that she had been in the middle of her rounds –'Where was your partner?' James asked, to which Lily responded in saying that she'd been unable to find a replacement for Remus, he'd glowered at her while she avoided his eye –when she had seen Snape making his way towards the Whomping Willow, she figured out what he was doing. As she knew the dangers involved, she stupefied him from behind when he only continued to advance towards the entrance to the Shack.

When Dumbledore revived Snape, he only served to prove how he'd come about the information, only he claimed that it had been a set up by all of the Marauders in getting him killed. He assumed that it had been James to stupefy him due to a guilty conscience, and no one bothered to correct him.

By the end of the night, Snape had been given two weeks' detention with Slughorn, as well as a loss of fifty House Points for reckless behaviour with malicious intent and dismissed. He sulked off, angrily hissing about revenge under his back.

Lily and James had been awarded fifty House Points each for quick thinking, speedily rushing to another student's defence, and bravery in the face of danger.

They too were dismissed, and returned to the Common Room, casting equally worried and displeased expressions towards Peter and Sirius.

After much internal debate, Dumbledore decided upon a disciplinary course of action; a loss of fifty House Points each, for an utter lack of caution and indiscretion in regards to another students life, as well as serving one weeks' detention with McGonagall. Sirius was also forced to be the one to inform Remus of all that had transpired that night, and in his mind, Sirius thought that to be a far worse punishment than anything that Professor Dumbledore could ever assign.

* * *

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	28. Chapter 28

**This chapter was absolutely horrid to write, as I was dealing with writer's block from the beginning to the end. I hope that you all find the final result worth it and that you forgive me for the tardiness in updating.**

 **Writer's block is a bitch, but… I've heard that reviews are the most successful cure…**

 **Also, I'll be going back to school on the 6** **th** **of September, and while I sincerely hope to be able to update before then, it might not be possible (reviews would certainly help though!). If that does end up being the case, I'm afraid my updating may become rather sporadic and drawn out after that, what with school and other responsibilities.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Potter universe.**

 **Chapter 28**

 _Lily was frozen, unable to move, to speak, to help. Unable to do anything other than stare, horrified, as Remus –or rather, the Werewolf version of Remus –approached a terrified Severus Snape. As the werewolf growled menacingly and bared its razor sharp teeth in a snarl, she could hear that same high-pitched scream of terror that she had heard that night, flawlessly recreated even a fortnight later._

 _Only this time, she was too late to stop it._

 _As she heard the crunch of teeth clasping onto bone, the gurgling sound of blood pooling out of the wound, and the scream of anguish, pain and terror, she knew that Remus would never survive his guilt and forever be unable to live with himself, whereas Snape would be lucky to die after all. As Lily stood there, watching the scene playing out in front of her, she wept in the knowledge that she could've saved them both, had she not been too late._

* * *

Lily woke up, gasping and trying to regain her breath, as she peeled the sweat-soaked covers off of herself. As she looked out the window, she could see the sun peaking over the horizon, too bright too early for her squinted, gritty eyes. As Lily launched herself into her morning routine in the hopes of putting the nightmare behind her, she pondered the conundrum that was the fragile friendship between the Marauders.

While a fortnight had already passed since the Incident, as it had come to be known to the rest of the school –though none but the four Marauders, Lily and Snape knew what had actually transpired –the friendship between the Marauders had become extremely strained, mainly with James and Remus in regards to Sirius, while Peter merely drifted between them. Frank, who was in the same dormitory as the four feuding Marauders, had been approached by most of the female student population throughout the two weeks' duration, most of whom would then proceed to beg in tears why the Marauders couldn't resolve their issues and return to be the tight-knit group of friends that they were idolised for –the fact that it had been a while since any of the boys, aside from Peter, revelled in that behaviour seemed irrelevant to the obsessive girls. Frank, who was rather afraid of the raging emotional tendencies of the fairer sex –and with good reason, as he'd known Marlene McKinnon fairly well over the course of his childhood, and while they had not necessarily been close, it did not take a genius to steer clear of the feisty brunette when she became upset –became more and more frightened as time went on –and as the amount of tears grew –and resorted to hiding either in his dormitory or behind Alice whenever a weepy girl approached him (Alice, of course, had started off being polite, but as the girls kept coming, she lost her patience rather quickly. Even McGonagall, who was the next corridor over, could hear Alice saying 'It's alright, it's alright, oh for Merlin's sake, SHUT THE HELL UP!).

However, one thing the entire school was in agreement upon was that the morning that Sirius had visited Remus in the Hospital Wing, he did so extremely dejectedly and remorsefully, to hurry away not long after, chased down the corridor by what sounded remarkably like a crash of a vase on a wall and a anguished cry of pain; afterwards, a third of the school had bet that Remus had broken up with Sirius after he confessed to snogging Snape in a broom cupboard –after James had caught them at it. This, of course, only fuelled Snape's own fury towards the Marauders.

As Lily showered and dressed, she pondered how tense her friendship with Sirius had become; during Quidditch practice, though they spoke, it was always about the sport and their plays. In fact, they had yet to speak of anything unrelated to Quidditch since that night, and the following confrontation between Lily and Sirius the next afternoon. Their poor playing was to the point that even their performance on the field was starting to become strained and uncoordinated. It made the team rather nervous for the upcoming game against Ravenclaw, and while Lily was aware of their concerns, she was also aware of the reality, in that there was no chance of forgiveness before then, since the game was only two days away.

And while she felt guilty over the things she had told Sirius that day, none of it was false, and she regretted only the hurt that it had brought him –though she knew it had been necessary.

* * *

'Merlin, Sirius! Sure, maybe Snape's a wannabe murderous bastard –but that doesn't mean you have to be one too! Bloody hell, I thought you were better than that.' Lily said sadly, her frustration showing through in the way she raked her hand through her already messy hair. 'Did you even _think_?! You just blabbed, right there, where anyone could've heard you –and someone _did_!

'After everything that happened this summer, between you and your family –I figured that you had more respect for your friends –your _family_ –than that. Because that's what we _are_ , Sirius. We're your bloody family. You think Marlene's home life is awesome? With all the blood prejudice? What about Remus? He's being swallowed by his own guilt every time he makes bloody _eye contact_ with his parents. Do you really think that holidays are fun for him?'

Lily broke off after her voice cracked. After a short pause, she continued.

'Merlin knows mine went to shit the day I got my letter. And James –you're as good as his brother. He was always so lonely at home, what with his parents working so much, that you could almost feel the loneliness _pouring_ off of him, even now. It doesn't take a genius to know that you're the reason he smiled so much over the summer –you should've seen him wandering around Diagon Alley; he was like a lost puppy.'

'I'm so, so, so sorry Lils. Please.' Sirius whispered brokenly, looking up at her with blurred eyes and a weakness in them that almost broke her; she knew he wouldn't survive if his real family abandoned him –the one that had accepted him, that protected him, and that actually cared for him. Her heart broke for him, and so she threw the dog a bone.

'I don't trust you right now, Sirius. I don't have any way of knowing if you'll go blab everything I tell you because you're pissed. And I don't know what it'll take to get over this. You're like a brother to me and you'll always be a part of my family, but I can't trust you right now; and it's not up to me to forgive you. Only Remus can decide that. But I do care for you, and I will be there if you ever need anything. But I don't know if I'll be able to trust you like I did. Just…give me time.' She left him stooped on a couch in the Room of Requirement, with a kiss on the cheek as the only indication that she was leaving. With his head bowed, he didn't look up until he knew she was gone, and only then did he let the tears streak down his face, feeling the loss of family –real family –more profoundly than he ever thought possible.

* * *

The Saturday morning of the Quidditch match drew cold and wet, with sleets of rain that couldn't decide whether or not it'd rather be freezing rain or just plain, miserable rain. For the duration of the match, it seemed to settle on freezing, much to the teams' sarcastic joy.

Due to the tenseness between all four Marauders, Sirius avoided the Pitch in the morning, breaking away from his and James' pre-game tradition. Instead, he made his way to the Kitchens, in the hopes of being able to hide out until it was game time.

However, it seemed that that was the last straw for the members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, as –the sixth years especially –tried their damndest to corner all four Marauders. With not two hours before the game, the four Gryffindor boys were shoved –rather rudely, in Peter's opinion –into one of the roomier broom cupboards in one of the third floor corridors.

'I'm really sick of getting swarmed by all the girls because of you lot; next time, if you'd stopped them, I wouldn't feel so inclined to lend a hand.' Frank said, as he lifted a struggling James in.

Once all four had been thrown in, the door slammed and was locked.

'The only way you four are getting out of there is if you lot make up. And you'd best hurry up, since as much as we don't want to be missing our captain on game day, we don't mind _all that much_.' Marlene called, as she, Dorcas, Lily, Alice and Frank walked away and left them to each other; she could still hear James pounding on the door when she turned the corner, chuckling quietly to herself and trying to bury her nerves.

* * *

'It won't open.' James said finally, after trying every counter-charm he could think of to unlock the door. 'Lily must've helped.' He sighed, calling it quitst; even James knew when to admit defeat when it came to Lily's prowess and knowledge over charms and hexes; she wasn't the Charms Queen for nothing.

An awkward silence settled over the four friends, as they all tried –and failed –to avoid making eye contact with each other.

It wasn't until Peter passed gas –rather loudly –that any of the boys spoke.

'Wormtail!' Protested James.

'Come on, mate! We're stuck in here, and you think _now_ is a good time to stink up the place?' Remus groaned, plugging his sensitive nose between two fingers.

' _Seriously_ , Pete?' Sirius demanded, smiling slightly in spite of gagging. When the other three boys groaned, he laughed out right before casting the bubble head charm on himself.

'It's not my fault we're all stuck in here! Plus, it's not like I have any control over it; I had cheese last night.' Peter said, waving his hand in front of his face.

'Only rat I know that's allergic to cheese…' Remus muttered, feeling very light headed and nauseous.

'Alright you lot; I don't feel like drowning in the smell of Pete's fart any longer, so…' James said, trailing off as he gestured between Sirius and Remus. After lowering his head, and Sirius' eyes visibly watered, –and since his bubble head charm was still activated, he could not get away with blaming Peter –Remus sighed.

'Look, Padfoot, I just –' Remus began, floundering slightly to make his point clear. 'I just don't know what to say. You were reckless –unbelievably so, to be honest –but it wasn't malicious in intent, and I know that. But that doesn't mean it's even remotely okay, let alone the fact that it wasn't about yourself.

'Forgiveness can't be earned, only given. And I give it to you, but I can't put this behind me just yet. You really hurt me, without even meaning to, but I think that was the worst part.' Remus said, hoping that he'd be able to trust his friend again soon.

'Moony…' As Sirius let his bubble head charm fall, he gagged as he tackled Remus into the side of the cupboard in a bear hug. At the same time, the cupboard door sprang open and all four tumbled out onto the floor, all of them gasping deeply for breath and one laughing thankfully.

* * *

'And here come the Gryffindors! Potter, McKinnon, Meadowes, Longbottom, Black, Evans and Sanders! The Captains shake hands –Oi! Don't crush any fingers, you stupid sods! You need to be able to handle your brooms after –' Marcus called into the microphone dancing away from an exasperated McGonagall. 'Sorry Professor.' He said cheekily, resuming with the commentary. 'And Ravenclaw takes possession, Smith passes to Taylor, only for him to drop the Quaffle to duck a bludger that Evans sent his way –brilliant beater that girl is, never would've believed it was her first year after seeing her and Black –Meadowes takes possession, streaking over to the Ravenclaw end of the pitch –passes to McKinnon, who fakes a pass to Potter, only to pass it right back to Meadowes and –Gryffindor score! Ten nothing to Gryffindor!'

As Marcus Steeling continued with his rather amusing commentary, Lily did her best to shut out the noises coming from the stands, focusing the entirety of her attention on the players and the bludgers. As she and Sirius passed each other, she offered a brief, small smile, the most she'd been able to do in two weeks. He responded with a massive grin before shooting off to launch a bludger towards Jones, a Ravenclaw Chaser who had the misfortune of possessing the Quaffle.

'Beautiful attack launched by Black, the other Beater for Gryffindor. Jones saved by the scruff of his neck thanks to the Ravenclaw Beater, Robertson. The Quaffle, however, managed to find itself in James Potter's arms, much to the jealousy of most girls –aside from, evidently, Evans. I bet five galleons in my second year that they'd get together before the end of seventh, and I'm still holding on to hope that I'll win –No, no, Professor, no need to take the microphone away; just a bit of background information, that's all. Oh yeah; Potter scored, twenty nothing to Gryffindor. Ravenclaw takes possession –at least until Evans reaches that Bludger she's headed towards. She takes the shot and –SODDING SHIT!'

Marcus' vehement swearing went –for once –unchecked by Professor McGonagall, because even she swore under her breath when she saw the other Bludger knock into the back of Lily's head. It wasn't until they saw her eyes roll into the back of her head and that she fell off her broom that most of the Hogwarts population started gasping and shrieking, teachers included, as the Beater began plummeting to greet the grounds.

* * *

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	29. Chapter 29

**Kind of a fluffy chapter, once the whole Lily-almost-died-thing settles down. Speaking of which, the review feedback I got from that was amazing! Thank you so much for every word sent, please keep it up.**

 **Disclaimer: My writing is my own, though I make no profit. All rights go to JKR.**

 **Chapter 29**

'The Quaffle, however, managed to find itself in James Potter's arms, much to the jealousy of most girls –aside from, evidently, Evans. I bet five galleons in my second year that they'd get together before the end of seventh, and I'm still holding on to hope that I'll win –'

As James swerved around the Ravenclaw players with the Quaffle tucked under his arm, his focus remained centred solely on the game and the rings before him. As he scored, he tuned back in to the commentary while racing back to the Gryffindor side of the pitch.

'Oh yeah –Potter scored, twenty nothing to Gryffindor. Ravenclaw takes possession –at least until Evans reaches that Bludger she's headed towards. She takes the shot and –SODDING SHIT!'

James' head moved seemingly of its own free will, searching for Lily almost instinctively. As he laid eyes on her, it was just in time to see her eyes roll back in to her head. He was already streaking towards her as fast as he could when she began to fall, terror piercing its way through his head –and his heart.

* * *

As Sirius shot off to send a bludger towards Jones, he could see Lily heading towards the other bludger to send it off to Taylor, the Ravenclaw chaser who had the Quaffle. As he turned his head to scan the pitch, trying to analyse where the other bludger had ended up, he could feel it as it whizzed by his ear, heading straight towards his partner.

'Lily –WATCH OUT!' Sirius shouted, his hoarse, desperate voice carrying no further than a few feet before it was lost in the wind.

He watched as James raced towards her, muffling a curse when James had to dive just to get in front of the falling redhead. As James pulled out of the steep dive, Sirius breathed a sigh of relief when he saw James clutching the still-unconscious Lily to his chest, heaving from both fear and exertion.

Sirius raced towards the ground, hoping that he'd get there in time to help James with bringing her to the Hospital Wing, no longer listening to the commentary and no longer caring about the end result of the game.

* * *

As James clutched the unconscious redhead to his chest, he felt faint. Unable to believe that he had actually succeeded in catching her, he tightened his shaking grip as he thought that her presence in his arms was the only thing keeping him sane. The feeling of the breath of air that made itself felt on his neck, the rise and fall of her chest against his, even the pained grimace on her features reassured him that she was alive and whole, and completely safe in his arms.

James found it hard to believe that he had caught her, that she had not fallen the remaining seven feet to the ground, thusly needing to be led off the pitch on a transfigured stretcher. It had taken for him to land on the ground, Lily already pressed tightly against him, that he even realised that he _had_ caught her, that she hadn't died, that he had saved her.

As he carried her off the pitch, joined by Sirius and the rest of the team and their friends, he heard Marcus Steeling over the microphone addressing the crowd.

'I hope none of you turned away for a second, or blinked, or sneezed, or anything. Because that was the best catch of _anything_ that I've ever seen. If you've just missed the best catch of Hogwarts History, I hope that you're all bloody kicking yourselves right now; if you aren't come over here and I'll do it for you, because that was bloody amazing. You'd think that she has to go out with him now, doesn't she? –Merlin, it seems as if Gryffindor is just on a role today; Sanders caught the snitch in the confusion –Gryffindor wins!'

* * *

 _Dear Mum (and Dad, who has no shame and will no doubt open this letter regardless of whom it is addressed to!),_

 _How're you and Dad holding up? Is Tuney driving you all crazy with wedding plans? When does the rest of the family come up? Have you met Vernon's family yet? Are they nice (or nicer than him at least)? –Please don't tell Petunia I said that._

 _I'm doing better; I'm still stuck in the Infirmary though. It's been three days –three days! –and I'm getting sick of the 'it's for observation' excuse. When will Madam Pomfrey realise that I'm_ justfine _and let me leave? If she wasn't so professional, I'd swear that James had bribed her to keep me here just to make sure I learnt my lesson on scaring him like that –not that I did it on purpose, but he doesn't care about the particulars. As if the concussion for twelve hours wasn't enough!_

 _Anyways, aside from sitting in the bed and pouting and doing homework (already tried getting out of it, but since I'm technically fine, Madam Pomfrey said that there's no reason why I can't be doing my homework; only, I can't practice my spell work, so either way, it sucks), I haven't been up to much. But if I stay here another night, I'm going to start my annoying patient routine –either that or pranking._

 _Anyways, I have to admit that while most of the letter is mainly so I can vent about this (and pass time), I was writing in the hope that you'd be able to send me some galleons so I can buy a dress for Tuney's wedding in Hogsmeade this weekend –assuming I'm free by then. And I'll be bringing a plus one, so go ahead and tell Tuney for the headcount. (He might even be willing to help me prank my dear, unsuspecting family…)_

 _Anyways, stay strong and write me back –and soon, because I'm much too bored for my own (or Madam Pomfrey's) good. Love you both!_

 _Love from,_

 _Your Lily_

* * *

 _Dearest Lily-Flower,_

 _You leave poor Madam Pomfrey alone! I pity anyone who is the target of your annoying patient routine. And what on earth did you mean, 'poor unsuspecting family'? Ours is hardly unsuspecting; half of them asked when you were arriving, and the other half just bought rolls of bubble wrap to hunker down in (no one's forgotten when you set up trip wires in every room of the house, young lady)._

 _Dad and I are fine, but Petunia's driving us up a wall about one thing or another; last week it was the flowers, the week before that the caterer, and prior to that was the photographer. The Dursleys will all be coming up two days before the wedding, just in time for the rehearsal dinners and such and too late to be of any assistance –and I believe I just crushed your hope that they are any nicer than Vernon._

 _I've sent you (what I hope to be enough) galleons, but if you need more, owl me –I'm assuming until I can send the extra, you could borrow some from a friend. And if you think that you'll get away with not telling me who your date is, you're too much like your father than what I'd thought. I'll need his name anyways, for the nametags, but if I don't get one, I'll sit you with ALL of the Dursleys for the entire night._

 _Dad says hi, and thinks that he'd much rather hear about you pranking than the annoying patient routine –mainly out of sympathy._

 _Hope you're freed soon, if only for the sake of Madam Pomfrey's sanity._

 _Love from,_

 _Mum and Dad._

* * *

 _Dear Mum, the backstabbing woman that she is,_

 _It's James Potter –and it's not a date! We're going as friends._

 _Don't you dare stick me with the Dursleys; their son is horrible enough._

 _Love from,_

 _Your finally freed Lily_

* * *

Lily was still scowling from boredom when she was released five days after the Quidditch match, even as she made her way to breakfast. If she was being honest with herself, she had to admit that she was feeling a little abandoned, since all of her friends knew when she was scheduled to be released from Madam Pomfrey's clutches. Even as she sat at the mostly filled Gryffindor table, her friends were nowhere to be found –now, when it came to the girls in her dormitory, she wasn't expecting much else, since it was she that assured everyone woke up in time for breakfast, if only because she liked to shower in the mornings. The boys, however, had Remus, and as it was nowhere near a full moon, they had no excuse.

Still feeling put out at the subdued mood their absence had inflicted upon her, Lily grabbed an apple and made her way up to Gryffindor Tower, determined to jinx her sleeping roommates awake. She twirled her wand as she thought how much her roommates would appreciate their pillows being turned into live, miniature dragons.

* * *

'Oi, Sirius! Wake up, you bloody mutt. Moony needs help with setting everything up in the Common Room before she gets here, and Wormtail's got streamers going up to his eye balls. I need to run down to the kitchens quickly, so you've got five minutes before Remus hunts you down himself.' James called, throwing on his robes as he whacked his best friend in the face with his own. As he rushed, he wondered whether or not Lily had forgotten that he still hadn't told her how he was an Animagus –probably not. Knowing Lily, she'd wait until he was least expecting it –and totally drunk out of his mind –just so that he won't have a problem with spilling everything he had.

As he went down and ran briefly through the Common Room, he quickly passed by the mounds of streamers still waiting to be hung, the table of food still being set up, and all of the Gryffindor sixth years –those who were awake, anyway –running around the room, trying to set everything up in time. With a nervous smile, James left through the portrait hole, hoping everything went according to plan. He kept his eyes on the Map –the Hospital Wing corridor, to be exact –as he made his way through the castle and waited to see when his favourite redhead would finally be set free. As much as he felt guilty, he was glad that it didn't take much convincing on his part to make Madam Pomfrey keep Lily in the Hospital Wing until this morning; he needed the freedom to get everything set up, and it would've been much more difficult to obtain if he had to keep looking over his shoulder for the tell-tale flash of red hair. He had just made it to the Kitchens when she left and he rushed along through the hidden passageways that mirrored the corridors, until he reach the Gryffindor Common Room at the same time that she left the Great Hall.

As he set down the food and the cake that he had brought back, he sent off a flash of red sparks in the Common Room, the signal for everyone to get into their positions. They had just dimmed all the lights when the portrait hole opened, revealing a downtrodden –but suspiciously determined –Lily Evans. Her expression turned confused, and then wary –mostly due to the Marauders –when she realized how dark it was.

'SURPRISE!'

Just as she had put one foot through the portrait to the Common Room, she promptly fell back through it in her shock, crashing onto the stone floor with a gasp that brought James rushing forward to help lift her off the ground and escort her safely into the room –it wouldn't do to send her back to the Hospital Wing, lest Madam Pomfrey finally succumb to Lily's annoying-patient-prankster routine and hex her herself.

'Happy birthday Lils.' Remus said, clapping Lily on the shoulder as she finally entered the Common Room fully.

'Happy birthday, you twat.' Marlene called from across the room, smiling brilliantly at the gaping expression adorning her best friend's face.

As Lily turned towards James, who still stood right next to her, her eyes narrowed as his expression turned red. Finally, after scrutinizing him intently, she smacked him, hard, on the shoulder with an indignant cry.

'Ow! What was that for?' James demanded, wincing as he inspected his shoulder.

'I knew it! I knew you were behind my being held hostage from Madam Pomfrey, Potter, you arse!' She cried, flipping him off even as she gave him a hug. 'Even doing it for a bloody surprise birthday party won't redeem yourself completely.'

As the birthday greetings continued, the only thing that was redder than James' shoulder –was his face.

* * *

'LILY! Come on! How long does it take to buy a bloody _dress_?' Marlene demanded, frustrated as her friend dragged yet another floor length gown into the change rooms.

'If you'd actually _give me your opinion_ on them, I'm sure it'd take a lot less!' Lily growled as she tried to shimmy her way into another ensemble.

'Excuse me if I stopped after the tenth!' Marlene grumbled, smiling slightly even through her annoyance. 'What was wrong with the strapless blue one again?'

'Strapless makes me look too broad; we've been over this!' Lily cried in frustration, as she came out wearing a dark grey one-shoulder dress with such a full skirt, it made her look more like a puff of smoke rather than a person. Marlene attempted –unsuccessfully –to stifle her giggles, failing utterly when Lily shot her a frustrated glare. 'And you're not helping!' She snarled, storming back into the change room completely frustrated.

'Lils, why don't you just come back the next Hogsmeade weekend? We're running late; we have to meet up with everyone at the Three Broomsticks soon, you know.' Marlene soothed, returning the discarded dresses to their proper places. When she turned around, her arms finally –mercifully –empty, she spotted a dress, hiding behind so many others she marvelled her ability to even spot it. When she pulled it out, she nearly gasped and she nearly tripped while rushing over to hand her friend the gown, before Lily officially called it quits.

As often as she had cursed her best friend's pale complexion, green eyes and dark, vibrant red hair over the past hour of searching for a dress, she had never seen one that would look as brilliant with her appearance as this one would.

Made from a gauzy, smoky, navy blue material, the dress hung beautifully from the redhead when she came out. The sturdy tank straps, joined by sheer off-the-shoulder straps framing her creamy shoulder blades, supported a tightly-fitted bodice, only served to accentuate the curves that the gorgeous redhead kept hidden in her loose Hogwarts robes. A deep sweetheart neckline showed off enough of Lily's assets that proved that she was in no way flat chested, yet not as much as to be indecent, with beautiful bunching detail on the bodice forming the empire waistline. As her slim waist gave way to hips, the dress flowed down to the ground, revealing her figure stunningly. A slit went up to her mid-thigh, revealing pearly-white –and amazingly _long_ –legs underneath.

'Date or no date, James is going to have a heart attack after seeing you in that dress.' Marlene said, smirking even as her eyes shown slightly with tears.

 **If you're interested in seeing the actual dress (though mine is slightly less revealing, regarding both the slit and cleavage), I got the idea from this site; www *** **dot** *** lulus *** **dot** ***com *** **slash** *** products *** **slash** *** bariano-ocean-of-elegance-navy-blue-maxi-dress *** **slash** *** 117034 *** **dot** *** html**


	30. Chapter 30

**Between writer's block, school, family get-togethers, and getting sick, this chapter just kept on getting delayed. So sorry about the wait, hope this makes up for it! R &R, and let me know what you think –also, I'm looking for other Jily fics to read, since I'm starting to run out and it's terrifying me; any recommendations would be welcome!**

 **Disclaimer: Though I love the Marauders, they do not belong to me.**

 **Chapter 30**

 _The first Potions class for the first years in 1971 was legendary._

 _However, since it was at the end of the week, it came as great surprise when it was neither due to the actions of James Potter nor Sirius Black, but rather Remus Lupin. While he hung around the two troublemakers, none of the teachers had yet to see him contribute in any pranks or acts of disrespect, the most recent incident being when James and Sirius decided to try and transfigure the staircase into a slide, not realizing that young Lily Evans was at the top and had just started making her way down; she arrived much quicker than what she'd have liked, just in time to see the two Gryffindors get detention with McGonagall and an eye twinkle from the Headmaster. The new batch of Gryffindor boys had been the topic of many wary discussions in the teacher's lounge that week, though Remus received mostly pity and distrust._

 _The Friday morning, the staff added astonishment and fear, seeing as how Slughorn had yet to recover from the incident, still looking rather constipated even two days later._

* * *

 _As Horace sat himself behind his desk, he peered over with distrust at the group of Gryffindor boys. He could see a chubby, mousey little boy, whom had answered during roll call to the name of Peter Pettigrew –most likely a half-blood or a muggleborn, since Slughorn didn't recognize the last name –next to Frank Longbottom –son of Augusta, who wasn't a witch to trifle with –and the McKinnons' daughter Marlene, as well as Alice Griffiths and Dorcas Meadowes, whom he suspected to be another half-blood. At the table next to them, he was surprised to see Severus Snape, a member of his own house, sitting next to Lily Evans, a muggleborn, going by the excited chatter she spouted about this being similar to chemistry –as well as Remus Lupin and James Potter. Soon after entering the class –late –Sirius Black had squeezed himself onto the table, to ensure his fellow Gryffindors' safety, which was at risk due to the slimy Slytherin's presence._

 _Deciding to keep his eye on the two Gryffindors –who were already eyeing Snape and whispering delightedly to one another –Professor Slughorn rose from his seat and began his lesson._

' _Now. I ask that you please put your wands away, yes, there we go; the art of Potions making is a much more precise branch of magic. In a sense, though rarely do you use wands, it is much more hands on, and much more dangerous than any other. It because of this that I will not stand for any foolish behaviour in this classroom, and I expect you all to be on your best behaviour so as not to cause anyone any harm. Now that that's out of the way, can anyone tell me any common, household potions?' He asked, frowning slightly at the odd, meek hand raised. 'Miss Griffiths?'_

' _Essence of Dittany, sir. My father got hurt while trying to get rid of a chizpurfle after it bit him, and the dittany helped heal the bite.' Alice answered softly._

' _Good. Can anyone identify an essential ingredient in the Essence of Dittany?' This time, one hand immediately went straight up, ramrod straight, almost begging to be called on. 'Mister Lupin?'_

'Of course, d _ittany is a magical plant used in Potion-Making, and is a bloody powerful healing herb and restorative. Its use makes fresh skin grow over a wound, which feels disgusting, apparently, and after application, the wound seems several days old. When_ _green smoke billows from the wound, indicating that the essence has taken effect, though the raw plant can also be consumed to heal shallow wounds. While a little goes a long way, the Dittany is fucking rare as shit and bloody expensive, so you really don't want to be the tosser that wastes any.'_

 _Slughorn took a minute to gather his wits, for it had been years since anyone –let alone a first year –swore like that at him, and never while answering a question; James and Sirius used the opportunity to give a standing ovation to the confused and blushing Remus._

 _Ever since that lesson, the teachers have all regarded Remus Lupin as somewhat of a conundrum, confusing in his properness and yet frightening in his friendship with the other members of his dorm. It seemed that their fear, come April Fool's Day, was very well founded._

 _You see, ever since 1971, April's Fools Day was one of the most highly-anticipated holidays at Hogwarts, at least for the students; the teachers dreaded it_ _. While beforehand there were the usual slight pranking brought in through the Muggleborns' influences, never before had the school seen the extravagant pranking brought on by the Marauders, who had decided to prank_ each other _for the week leading up to a full blown day of pranks against the entirety of the school –a young Lily Evans really regretted sharing that particular Muggle custom with Marlene McKinnon, who then passed it on to James Potter, after he jinxed her face red to match her hair._

* * *

'How's your coffee?' James asked, as he sat down on the bench with weariness in his bones that had nothing to do with it being a Monday morning and everything to do with it being the morning after a full moon. Lily cringed in sympathy from beside him even as she raised the mug to her lips, a brilliant smirk plastered across her face; she had cornered him and Sirius the other night on their way to the Kitchens for cake, and was feeling quite superior about blocking them from their path until they told her how James had turned into a stag. After smacking them both upside the head for the dangerous situations that they had willingly put themselves into, she joined them, claiming to need the chocolate to recover from her shock.

'Good, since I know none of you would _dare_ do anything to it again.' She chuckled as he winced in memory of her retribution, toasting him by drinking more of the caffeine. He could feel her eyes on him, even as he lowered his head onto his arms, resting on the table as he tried to blink himself into a productive state for classes; he had extra notes to take today, and he didn't have enough of a grasp on the duplication spell to be able to just take one set and copy them immediately afterwards.

He felt her shift beside him but he could not tear his gaze away from a dent in the table –at least, not until she set down another mug, steaming with his new favourite tea of the week, prepared exactly how he liked it.

'If you hurry up and drink that, we'll have enough time to visit Remus before classes; I feel like a rendition of _Here comes the sun_ might be right up his alley.' She sniggered, prodding him in the side to sit up and drink the caffeine.

'We can visit Pete while we're at it.' James said, smiling as he brought the tea to his face; his smile had nothing to do with the story however, and everything to do with the tea.

'What happened to Pete?' Lily asked, worried.

'Let's just say that he'll be making fat jokes about Sirius for a _long_ time…' James sniggered as a suddenly indignant Sirius sat across from him.

'It's not my fault I stepped on him! Besides, he lost that right when I carried him up to the castle; if anyone is allowed to make fat jokes, it's me.' Sirius pouted, causing James to laugh and snort his tea all over a grimacing Sirius, just as Marlene joined them. 'Thanks for that, Prongs.'

'Anytime.' James chortled as Lily passed him a napkin, Marlene teasing Sirius mercilessly for not being able to swallow.

* * *

After they had finished their breakfasts, they stopped in at the Hospital Wing before their first class. As she entered the Wing, Lily could spot at the far end two closed off beds, with two lumpy forms that served to indicating of the presence of the two boys. James and Sirius kept nudging each other, resulting in Sirius being pushed into a bed. When they heard the Werewolf growl, 'If you're a ghost or some shit, could you please fuck off? If you're James and Sirius, the same applies; I'm too tired to deal with your bullshit.', James only laughed harder as they approached.

'Good morning to you too, Moony.' James said, sitting in the chair in between the two beds.

'Oi, Wormtail! Get off your fat arse and get to Muggle Studies; your late.' Sirius sniggered, coming up beside the two beds.

'Sod off, Padfoot. You're the one with the fat arse.' Peter retorted, sniggering slightly when Sirius merely flipped him off as response and Remus just groaned exasperatedly.

'Moony, you're just grumpy because our pre April's Fool's Day pranks started the other day.' Sirius sniggered, sitting on his bed; he moved onto Peter's after Remus threw a pillow at him.

'What did you do?' Lily sighed, fluffing the pillow before passing it back to Remus, who merely blushed and frowned in response.

'Sirius…might've… shaved Moony… during the night…' James sniggered.

'He…looked… like a… naked mole rat…' Sirius guffawed, tears streaming down his face. He only laughed harder when Remus glared at him.

'At least Moony didn't walk into the wall and fall on his arse.' Peter said, laughing. At Lily's questioning glance, Peter explained how he had moved all the furniture while the other Marauders were sleeping, so when Sirius dragged himself out of bed, still half asleep, he walked right into the wall because that was where the door was _supposed_ to be.

'Peter only did that in retaliation because he thought Sirius was the one who stuffed flobberworms down his pants.' James laughed, winking when Peter turned to glare at him. 'Evans gave me the idea, back in third year.' He sniggered, winking at Lily in thanks. Lily laughed and shook her head, amazed that he remembered; she had gotten detention, but it had been well worth it, since he'd asked her if she'd like to see _his_ flobberworm.

As the bell trilled its warning, the group of friends left the two and headed towards their respective classes; Remus and Peter sniggered as James walked obliviously out of the Hospital Wing, the back of his robes charmed pink and declaring "Potter + Snape 4 ever".

* * *

As the week continued, the school laughed themselves silly at the creativity of the four boys; someone –bets were going strong for James –had transfigured Sirius into a black miniature toy poodle –and the spell didn't wear off until twelve hours later. While the school was right in who cast the spell, they failed to guess that James wasn't the one to come up with the idea; James brought Lily an entire chocolate cake from the Kitchens in thanks, as well as gave her the biggest bear hug he could manage; the red in her cheeks wasn't completely caused by the squeezing, no matter what she told herself.

Sirius in return, had polyjuiced himself into James, spending the day doing imitations of his friend by prancing around and ruffling his hair every other minute, laughing loudly and nudging students off the Gryffindor benches if they were blocking him from his caffeine. He also spent the better part of the day taking off his glasses in annoyance, only to hit himself in the face when he went to push them up, as well as walking up to Lily and putting his arm around her, poking her in the side every time. Aside from the prancing and the hair-ruffling, his imitation was very well done, though Lily knew each time it was Sirius and not James –who happened to retaliate by adding neon pink hair dye to Sirius' shampoo. The yard stick spelled stuck to the top of Gryffindor, which served only to make the tower taller than Ravenclaw tower, almost fell from the force of the girly shriek Sirius emitted when he saw himself in the mirror. Thinking it was Remus, Sirius charmed Remus' goblet that night during dinner to repel liquids, right onto the werewolf.

Remus managed to convince Peter to eat the Berti Botts, even though he had snuffed out all the good flavors and left only the disgusting ones; it took Peter a surprising amount of time before he realized his mistake. Peter, as a show of good faith after the bean incident, decided to gift Remus with a flea collar; it was not used, aside from whacking Peter upside the head, much to the Animagus' annoyance.

When finally, the long awaited April 1st arrived, the school woke to pixies emerging whenever something was opened –be it a door, window or textbook –and started singing rather raunchy and inappropriate songs to the owners, exploding shortly thereafter in a cloud of dung bombs. Lessons were unsurprisingly cancelled that day.

* * *

'Have you ever heard of the saying "fat and skinny went to bed; fat rolled over, and skinny was dead" ?' Lily asked as she crossed the Common Room the next day and plunked herself down on the floor against James' legs, tilting her head up so she could watch him being trounced at chess by Sirius.

'Can't say I have, Evans.' James chuckled, looking down at her. 'Pawn to E4. Why?'

'Because it's the epitome of Petunia and Vermin. Thought you should be prepared.' Lily sniggered as James' pawn was dragged off the board by Sirius' knight.

'Sounds like your sister really knows how to pick 'em, Lils.' Sirius smirked, watching gleefully as his bishop took another of James' pieces. 'Check.'

'Damn it.' James swore, frantically searching the board for some way out. 'How many people will be at the wedding next weekend?' He asked, glancing down at the chuckling redhead who was trying to smother her laughter –a feat made pointless as he could feel her body shake against his legs. He nudged her in the back, pouting down at her even as his hazel eyes twinkled.

'Too many. I think Petunia's trying to invite enough people so that she won't even have time to speak to me.' Lily said simply, shrugging. 'But that doesn't mean I can't screw with the new in-laws.' She smiled innocently as James and Sirius snorted. 'You have your monkey-suit, right?'

'Sadly. It's so uncomfortable! And why did I need to get _that specific_ tie?' He asked, still confused as to why Marlene ran up to him in the afternoon while he was in the robes shop (not having been permitted to go in the morning by the girls) and demanded that he buy a navy blue tie.

'Because it matches my dress. If we're going together, we need to match, stag-boy.' She said, laughing at his bewilderment.

' _Stag-boy_?' He yelped, staring at her in horror as she sniggered.

'C'mon _stag-boy_ , time for Herbology. Oh, and checkmate.' Sirius laughed as he rose from the board, grabbing his book bag and dragging James along behind him.

Lily walked through the portrait ahead of them and called, 'Have you guys done the homework?'

'We had homework? Shit. Hey Sirius, can I copy your homework?' James promptly turned towards his friend with a smirk.

'I was going to ask if I could copy yours.' He said, shouldering his bag.

'Well shit.' James said, rubbing his nose.

'I'm sure Padfoot could take care of it, as long as mine gets destroyed too.' Sirius supplied, sniggering.

'He hasn't eaten our homework for more than a month; I think it's time.' James declared.

When Lily called from up ahead, 'As long as Padfoot takes care of my Arithmancy essay right in front of the Professor tomorrow, I heard nothing.', the two Animagus' couldn't help but laugh as they made their way outside to the greenhouses.

As James watched the sun light up Lily's hair like wildfire, he pushed aside his nervousness at the thought of the wedding and tried to focus on the lesson, hoping that he'd actually be able to concentrate for once. However, her image followed him even into his dreams that night, wearing a navy blue gown that somehow always ended up on the floor.

* * *

 **Next chapter's the wedding! The more reviews I get, the sooner the chapter gets written; let me know what you all think, what you want to see in the next chapter, and everything in between! Cheers!  
**


	31. Chapter 31

**This chapter gave me so much difficulty, it's unreal. I'm not entirely pleased with it, but reviews let me know what you guys think –so please, suggestions, constructive criticism, anything –** _ **let me know**_ **.**

 **I've already started writing the next chapter, which I'm extremely excited about. So stick with me and review!**

 **Disclaimer: I write fanfiction; 'fan' being key. I own nothing!**

 **Chapter 31**

Not many students left during the Easter Break, most resorting to confining themselves to the Library, in the hopes of being able to catch up on schoolwork and trying to make sure that they stay alive throughout the final stretch of school prior to exams. Usually, Lily would be right there among them.

This year, however, she would be leaving the castle and returning home, thankful for James' presence at her side. Despite her gratefulness, it still doesn't mean she wasn't dreading the entire break.

With Petunia being even more stressed than usual, her voice only rose in pitch and she yelled more often than ever, even though she was staying in a hotel. Of course, with her Freak sister's return, everything that went wrong just _had_ to be her fault, so Lily found herself getting the brunt of the displeased, pinched look to Petunia's face as she screamed herself hoarse. James, in return, was left mostly alone, aside from the intense aura of disapproval that hung heavily whenever he was in the same room as the bride-to-be. While James had to clench his hands to keep from hexing Petunia for it, Lily was glad that at least she got the brunt of her sister's anger; James didn't deserve it, and she at least knew to expect it.

That didn't mean it hurt any less.

* * *

'Lils? Where are you?' James called as he entered the living room, searching for bright red amidst a sea of lilac, lavender and yellow (when Lily had first seen the color scheme, she was very glad that she didn't have the misfortune of being made bridesmaid).

'Over here, James!' She called, emerging from under a pile of various twists, ribbons, and ties. After she dumped them all back on the ground and stood up, she made her way over to him, climbing over the couch and under the table.

'Err… your mum wanted to make sure you were going to be available to greet your relatives when they get here tonight. I don't think she knew that you were being buried alive, otherwise she'd have sent me to save you sooner.' James said, walking her out of the living room and towards the kitchen. Even after being at the Evans house for two days, he could identify a slight cinnamon smell throughout the house, reminding him constantly of Lily.

'Nah, she'd have thought it was well deserved after I pranked her the other night.' Lily said cheerfully as she began preparing tea.

'What did you do?' James sputtered a laugh, grabbing Lily's favourite mug as well as one for himself.

'Well that depends; she only knows about half of them or so, so far.' Lily laughed as she took the mugs from James, their hands brushing slightly as she did so. Pushing down the warmth rushing through her stomach, she added the sugar and boiling water to the tea bags.

'I don't think I want to know after all.' James exclaimed, his eyes shinning with mirth. The two teens sat down across from each other at the kitchen table, each nursing their own tea. 'You know you're as bad as Sirius, right?'

'Oh? In what sense?' Lily asked after taking a sip, before rising from her seat as the timer on the oven went off. Waving him away, James sat back down at the table as she set the cookies on a cooling tray on the counter.

'Practical jokes. They aren't really pranks, since they're really very small, but…you do so many of them!' James exclaimed as she transferred the cookies from the baking sheet onto a plate. As she placed the plate in front of him, James could feel the steam rising until he couldn't see out of his glasses. He swiped a cookie with one hand as he removed his glasses with the other, smirking at her falsely indignant look.

'Oi! Those are for the guests!' She hollered, whacking him with the towel.

'Technically, I _am_ a guest.' He smirked smugly, dodging the towel the way only a chaser could; of course, as a beater, that only made her more determined. As she continued trying to whack him, he merely dodged and kept on snagging cookies, until finally she got him on the side of the head.

'You aren't a guest any more than I am, Potter. Nice try though.' Lily said, moving the half dozen cookies that remained out of his reach. 'Now you get to help me whip up another batch.'

'If I must.' He sighed dramatically, smiling when her back was turned, and ate another cookie.

* * *

Later that night, her family arrived, among waves of food and gifts. With her father being an only child and her grandparents on her mother's side having passed when Lily was a child, it was a quiet affair, though not for lack of trying. Her grandparents on her father's side were both in their late seventies, and her grandmother in particular was hard of hearing.

'Franklin! Where'd ya put the sugar?' Dahlia Evans yelled throughout the house as she ransacked the kitchen, grumpily slamming cupboard doors shut. The beauty in her face could still be seen, in her gracious nose and high cheekbones. The light flush on her face from frustration balanced well with her brilliant green eyes and her silver-white hair, leaving her with a polished, warm, grandmotherly appearance. It was counterbalanced over her fury from sugar being withheld.

As Lily handed her grandmother the jar, she smiled at the muttering old woman before giving her a tight hug and walking over to James.

She came up to him just as he was finished with helping her Uncle Marc bring in their baggage while her aunt woke her cousin up from her nap during the car ride –thankfully, she didn't have a tendency to wake up cranky like her older cousin, though that still didn't prepare Lily for the little ball of energy that came streaming through the kitchen and collided with her legs.

'LILY!' The nine year old shrieked, smiling up at the redhead from between her thighs.

'Hey, Charlotte! How's my favourite firecracker?'

Charlotte Joy had her cousin's red hair, though hers was lighter and more ginger than Lily's dark auburn. She had her father's blue eyes and her mother's large forehead, complete with an excess of freckles over her features, as well as her Auntie Sarah's and cousin Lily's dimpled smile.

'It's been ages since we've come to visit! I can't wait to be a flower girl! What about you? Are you going to be in the wedding? Am I sleeping with you in your room? Will we –'

As she fired off each question with barely an intake of breath before the next, Lily glanced over and chuckled at the fondly exasperated expression on James' face; all James could think of was how alike the two cousins were, though the fact that there were _two of them_ frightened him more than he'd care to admit.

Deciding to put him out of his misery, Lily interrupted her energetic cousin. '–Charlotte, I'd like you to meet James Potter. James, meet my little firecracker, Charlotte.' As she felt Lily's hand on her shoulder, Charlotte looked up and saw the tall boy standing beside her favourite cousin. When James crouched down to better be able to shake her hand, Charlotte smiled –she liked James a lot better than she liked Vernon, whom she'd met earlier that night after having stopped at a restaurant so her parents could catch up with Petunia (Charlotte had heard she was staying at a hotel to free up some rooms for the family to stay in, as well as to be as stress free as possible before the wedding, but she also knew that Vernon was staying in the same hotel as well –and she wasn't an idiot).

'I'm Charlotte. Are you Lily's date to the wedding? Are you going to marry her? Can I be your flower girl, too? Oh, you're much nicer than Vernon. I'm glad Lily's marring you and not a bloke like that whale. Be nice to Lily, she's my favourite cousin –I really shouldn't say that, but she always played with me. Petunia always wanted to stay with Auntie Sarah instead, because she's all _grown up_. Ha!' Charlotte scoffed, before continuing to ramble on, completely oblivious to the blush on both teens' faces and the smirks adorning the adults'.

Or rather, Charlotte was very much aware of the blushing; she just revelled in it and tried to get them that red for the rest of the evening –usually whenever she mentioned how cute they looked together, or how pretty their babies would be.

No one has ever claimed that the two red headed cousins weren't eerily alike.

* * *

The day of the wedding dawned bright and much too early, leaving a groaning redhead to roll out of bed in only a baggy t-shirt, make her way into the hallway, and literally stumble into James. After the only response that elicited was a groan, James sleepily said, 'Morning, Evans. It's a good thing I'm used to seeing you before eight; otherwise, I'd doubt your ability to be presentable in three hours.' He chuckled as she flipped him off while blindly making her way to the bathroom, nearly managing to conceal her blush. He was very much awake now as he traced the curve of her bare legs with his eyes until she was no longer in sight, the bathroom door closed between them; James went downstairs in search of coffee and a distraction as soon as he heard the shower turn on.

'James? Is that you?' Mrs. Evans called as she heard him stumbling around her kitchen.

'Yeah, Mrs. Evans. It's me.' He answered as he made his coffee and sat down at the table. He smiled at her as she came in, harassed and stressed-looking, carrying three empty cups of coffee in her hands. 'I can see where Lily gets her caffeine addiction from.' He laughed before taking a sip from his own.

'I deny everything.' She laughed, setting two of the cups in the sink. 'So how long have you and Lily been together?' She asked, smiling unrestrainedly after he chocked on his coffee.

'We aren't together, Mrs. Evans.' James managed to sputter, in between coughs. After Mrs. Evans merely hummed in response, seemingly to not be finished with the conversation, James decided that it might be wise to avoid any possible choking hazards. Setting down his coffee, he choked out, 'What makes you say that?', blushing a brilliant red –he claimed it to be from lack of oxygen.

Sarah Evans scoffed, waving away his question as if batting a fly. 'My daughter has, without fail, mentioned your name every summer; you made quite an impression.' She said, staring him pointedly in the eye. 'And up until this past summer, I would've said that you were one of her least favourite people at her school.' While he swallowed contritely, she took a sip of her –cold –coffee, and continued. 'Lily may not tell me everything –sometimes it feels as if she barely tells me anything at all –but all I needed were eyes to figure out that her friendship with Severus was over, and that you were somehow involved.' James could only lower his eyes in shame, all his remorse over his past actions smothering him. When Lily's mum continued, it was in a much softer tone of voice –compassionate, sympathetic, comforting. 'The fact that she picked you over him means that her feelings changed. I've seen the look on your face when you saw her every year at the train station, let alone having it cross your face under my roof. I also know my daughter. Please, James, don't let whatever happened cloud your feelings for each other. You might be surprised about Lily.' She finished softly.

 _She doesn't know._ James thought morosely, _She doesn't know all the pain I've already caused. If she knew, she wouldn't want me anywhere near her daughter._

He couldn't help but remember her Patronus, the magnificent doe, so confident and noble. James had decided a long time ago to let Lily lead, and to only hope for friendship from her.

And though it pained him, seeing her every day, yet being unable to run his fingers through her brilliant hair, or to kiss her when they separated, he remained determined to be her friend, and only her friend, if that was all Lily could give him; he'd take friendship over nothing any day.

* * *

Lily was never a fan of big, extravagant weddings.

When she was a child, her and Petunia would fantasize about their double wedding, where they'd invite everyone they knew, have the most extravagant decorations, and dance the night away together. Back then, she'd been so entranced with the idea of celebrating her wedding day in such a manner with Petunia, she hadn't even considered whether it was what _she_ wanted –turns out, it wasn't.

That still didn't mean it didn't hurt when, years later, the only thing that changed in their planning was the "double" part.

Even though the ceremony was boring, Lily managed to smile throughout it all, if only because James kept on whispering amusing comments into her ear.

' _Oh look Lils; turns out the whale_ is _capable of expressing human emotion.'_

' _Does he look constipated to you as well?'_

' _Is it just me or did he get bigger?'_

' _How can your sister stand such a puffy dress? She looks bigger than he is!'_

' _You'd think the name Vernon is bad enough. Oh no; Vernon Wallace. Your sister is willingly becoming Mrs. Vernon_ Wallace _Dursley. She should be committed.'_

After that last one, Lily only managed to hide her snort by pretending it was a sob; the tears streaming down her face only further helped to deter her mum's possible irritation.

As the ceremony ended and the family left the hall for pictures, Lily made sure to drag James along; if she had to suffer, so did he.

Plus, Charlotte was incessant in her comments and suggestions.

Ever since she had come downstairs that morning, she couldn't help but marvel at how well the suit fit him, as if it was tailored to his skin –since he'd gotten it at the robes shop in Hogsmeade, it probably was. The crisp white shirt under the black suit offset his tanned skin and black hair, and the rich navy blue tie contrasted extremely well with his hazel eyes. She had beamed at him when she came down the stairs, flushing slightly when she couldn't tear her eyes away from him.

She had felt her blush increase as his eyes roamed over her, from her wildly curled hair, to the bodice of the dress, and down to her what showed of her legs down the slip of the dress. Her face felt like it was burning when all he could say was _gorgeous_ before clearing his throat and offering her his arm, a slight flush on his own cheeks.

Even after the ceremony, she had to ignore the pleasant tingling spreading all over her body whenever he pulled her close so as to be in the shot, and Lily tried to squash the zoo roaming around her stomach when she felt his warm hand wrapping around her waist. As they kept on taking pictures, she could see him shift on his feet slightly, and she felt ashamed of herself for enjoying the feeling so much –zoo inhabiting her stomach aside –when their proximity obviously made him so uncomfortable. She tried as hard as she could to smile after that realization, but she was pretty sure it turned out as more of a grimace. As soon as she could, she led James away from the camera, reluctantly stepping back from him disheartened and dejected.

* * *

As they ate the plain supper the caterers had served, James couldn't keep his eyes away from the beautiful redhead laughing beside him. He watched as her eyes twinkled and her smile widened, cursing the neckline of the dress as it dipped in time to the shaking of her shoulders, revealing even more to him of what was already displayed –he didn't think he could've spent anymore time glaring at would-be admirers without her noticing, but it was better than being caught staring himself. Gulping water down his suddenly parched throat, James smiled –more of a grimace, really –when Lily turned to him, asking if he was okay.

His discomfort over their proximity when she had been pressed up against him while they were taking the photos was only shadowed by his disappointment when she moved away, blushing and uncomfortable; having her feel so awkward when he held her only further proved to him that all she wanted from him was friendship.

The only time that night that he succumbed to his desire to hold her close was when they danced; when their favourite song, _I Will Always Love You,_ came on, they smiled at each other and he immediately led her to the dance floor, her slender hand in his own larger one.

Pulling her close, his hands nervously went to her slim waist, just as hers twined themselves around his neck. He shuddered slightly as they grazed his hairline.

She had to tilt her face slightly to be able to make eye contact, staring longer than she should have at his lips. When her green eyes finally met his, she noticed they were darker than usual, and she trembled slightly in pleasure. Thinking that her shiver was due to cold, he jumped at the chance to bring her body closer to his own, all the while swaying to the music entwining around them.

She smiled up at him when then song ended, and started laughing when the next song to come on was _The Chicken Dance_. Laughing, she led him through the steps, holding on to his waist when he stumbled through some of the movements.

Her hand remained on his side for the rest of the night, as they danced away until her feet hurt and her heart was thrumming in her veins.

It was only once she was tucked in bed later that night that the redhead allowed herself to admit to something she'd be avoiding since the beginning of the school year;

Lily Evans fancied James Potter.

And she didn't know if he still fancied her.

* * *

 **Less dialogue near the end, so sorry about that, but it just wasn't working.**

 **Reviews make my day; their main side-effect is that they leave me looking like a psycho –but hey, life's more fun that way. Review please!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Thank you everyone for all the reviews from the last chapter; the feedback was amazing, and I appreciated the correction someone made regarding a typo –if anyone sees any more, let me know (in a review, with their ideas, of course)!**

 **Between work (especially with it being the holiday season), school, and my parents actually wanting to see my face from time to time, I'm not sure how much time I'll have to dedicate to my writing; the next chapter might take a while, but my goal is definitely before Christmas. Let's see if it works out, shall we?**

 **I have to say, I think this is one of my favourite chapters so far, and I hope everyone is pleased with this as much as I am.**

 **Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to meet JKR, a courtroom wouldn't be ideal; no profit is being made, and all credit given to Rowling.**

 **Chapter 32**

 _ **If each second lasts a minute,**_

 _ **And an hour was a day,**_

 _ **I'd long to sleep for an eternity,**_

 _ **And wake to a whole new way.**_

 _ **I may be dreaming,**_

 _ **Else I may be dying,**_

 _ **I know that the day is brightening,**_

 _ **And I'm barely moving.**_

 _ **For the cold is coming,**_

 _ **My tears are falling,**_

 _ **My head is pounding,**_

 _ **And my heart wrenching.**_

' _Daddy! Daddy! It's your turn to be tucked in!' A young redheaded girl ran up to her father, smiling impishly and clutched his hands in her tiny ones as she dragged him away to the couch in the living room. She only let his hands go when she draped the blanket over him, fluffing his pillow absently while she tucked him in. She felt his warm forehead, and with a slight frown marring the freckles from days spent running and playing outside, she ran to get a bowl of soup and a pop from the kitchen. 'You're lucky you're sick, daddy.' She pouted playfully as she opened the bottle and tried to avoid the fizzing bubbles as they spilled over, setting it on a tissue on the small table beside him. He had stretched himself across the sofa and was leaning up into the pillows when she perched herself beside him, bowl of soup in hand. 'You can have your special pop whenever you want now, you know. You don't even need to sneak it from mummy like usual!' she exclaimed, clumsily spooning warm soup into his mouth._

' _Trust me, Flower, it isn't worth feeling so shoddy just to be able to drink a coke in front of mummy.' Frank Evans chuckled before his voice cut off with a hacking cough, which wracked his whole frame. His eyes watered and he saw Lily shift away slightly so the soup wouldn't be knocked to the ground. When she gave him a solid punch –for a seven year old –to the back once he'd finished, he raised an eyebrow at the innocent expression gracing her young features._

' _You're supposed to pat someone on the back when they cough. Mrs. Callahan told me that when I went to the nurse's office last week at school.' Lily declared, moving back closer to her father's side._

' _Yes, but I had stopped coughing. And no one would consider that to be merely a pat on the back. Nice try, sweetheart. Does mum know that you snuck into the nurse's office again?' He asked with a sigh, before swallowing another mouthful of soup._

' _Of course not!' Lily gasped, appalled. 'Oh Daddy, you won't tell her, will you? You mustn't! You know she doesn't think it's proper for a girl to be a doctor; visiting Mrs. Callahan is the only way I can see anything! Even if she's a nurse instead of a doctor –it's still healing people! Why shouldn't I try to help people?' Lily demanded, saddened and frustrated._

' _Because not many women are doctors, and those who are aren't treated very nicely because they're women. Mummy only wants what's best for you, only wants to protect you from that.' Frank explained carefully, so as not to upset his passionate daughter. Lily only got the chance to huff before the rest of her reply was cut off as another set of coughing made her move away once more, before she finally set aside the soup and just handed him his pop. 'For the record, my Lily Flower, I think you'd be an amazing doctor; you're taking such good care of me as it is, and you haven't even gotten a degree yet!' Frank smiled as Lily looked up at him with hopeful, shinning eyes._

' _You really think so, Daddy?' She asked hesitantly, her trust in him marring with her scepticism of her own abilities._

' _I always have, and I always will, Lily Flower.'_

* * *

The first morning after Easter break had Lily rushing through her morning routine, swearing at herself for procrastinating moving long enough that she was running very late. She just had time to hastily weave her hair into a French braid and brush her teeth before she rushed down the stairs, pulling her sweater on over top her tank top when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Her head had just emerged from the neck whole, her hair ruffled and braid loose from the friction of the wool, to see the smiling face of James Potter sprawled across a couch waiting for her.

'Slept in there, did you Lils?' He snorted, laughing as he took her book bag and grimaced. 'Merlin. What do you have in here?' He demanded, lifting the heavy bag.

'All my textbooks for today. Remind me again why I insist on going into Healership?' She whined as they made their way out of the common room and towards the Great Hall.

'Because you get to apply all those charms that you love and counteract them while making people feel better. Face it Lils; its what you do best.' He said simply, smiling down at her as she huffed in response.

'Not sure it's worth double Transfiguration though.' She grimaced as they sat down across from one another at the Gryffindor table. James handed Lily a coffee just as she passed him the eggs, and they failed to hide their amusement from one another. 'Seriously James, I don't know how it's your favourite class.'

'And you like Potions; you don't see me complaining about your tastes, do you? Though you do redeem yourself by Charms being your _actual_ favourite class. Besides, Quidditch Finals are Saturday! Have you figured out what went wrong with your broom last practice?' James asked worriedly as he spooned more eggs into his mouth.

'Yeah, just needed to fix a few loose twigs. It's good to go, don't worry.' Lily answered as she unwrapped her muffin.

'So long as you don't get knocked unconscious again, I'll be happy.' James gave her a piercing look, smiling slightly as she sheepishly swallowed some of her coffee and brushed crumbs off of her sweater. While she was re-braiding her hair, James couldn't take his eyes away from how the already slightly wavy red locks seemed to be lit from the inside with the way the sunlight was reflected. Forcing his eyes back down to his plate, he said, 'They were asleep when we got in, but I guess Pete and Sirius had a few too many last night, so they said they'd meet us in class after stopping by the Hospital Wing for a _Pepperup Potion_. Remus went with them to make sure they made it there, but I think it was really so that he could bang on every single suit of armour on the way there, and Frank left to meet Alice before classes. Where's Marls and Dorcas?'

'Dorcas wanted to study before her Arithmancy class with some of her Ravenclaw friends, and Marls was out before I was even up; she probably helped Remus.' The two teens laughed as they rose from the table, Lily grimacing once again at the thought of Transfiguration. Her impatience level for the week to be over was only rising; she couldn't wait for the Quidditch Final against Hufflepuff that Saturday, she just hoped she wouldn't end up in the Hospital Wing once again.

* * *

The Saturday morning arrived amid a torrent of sun and wind, the sun almost blinding in its brilliance; it seemed a perfect reflection of the students' spirits as the Quidditch final between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff arrived.

Once the two teams descended upon the Pitch, the roar of the crowd rose to extreme levels, banners streaming and hand-made posters flashing brilliant colours. Lily had convince all the Gryffindor girls –and even some of the guys –to sport Gryffindor nails, which she charmed to flash gold and red, as well as featuring a roaring lion on every second finger.

The roar of the crowd at the beginning of the match was nothing compared to the victorious noise the Gryffindors made when their House team won the final match, 240 to 140 after a mere three hours of play –especially since it was rumoured to be the first game in over a decade where no one was sent to the Hospital Wing after. All in all, the game was played in a intense yet friendly manner, the two opposing Seekers shaking hands at the end; while the Captains were forced at the beginning, it was a sign of fair play and friendly competition should the Seekers do so, especially after the end when emotions are running high.

The noise from the Gryffindor section of the stands as the Cup was raised into the air by the Quidditch Team was unable to compete with the noise of the red and gold Common Room, even relatively early throughout the party.

The noise was so high that when McGonagall entered the Gryffindor that evening, many Gryffindors thought at first glance that it was to break up the raging after party; while it was still much too early in the evening for that to be her purpose, the hunched, shaking shoulders and pained expression on her face spoke of a much more ominous task at hand, making them all fear for the reason behind her appearance.

Lily didn't even see the Transfiguration Professor in the room until she was directly in front of her, informing her that the Headmaster required her presence in his office immediately. Confused and with a sense of foreboding, Lily rose from her spot on the couch by the fire and left the common room with McGonagall, leaving her friends staring after her worriedly.

The entire walk towards the office was quiet, with Lily becoming more and more fearful with every step she took. When they reached the stone gargoyle that marked the entrance, it was in such a trance that Lily could barely hear when the Deputy Headmistress choked out the password, though the redhead only took note of her tone of voice and the hand squeezing her shoulder in comfort before she was left to mount the staircase by herself.

With her heart beating painfully on her sleeve, she knocked on the door to the Headmaster's office. When he bade her entrance in a grave tone, Lily started shaking.

The one thought that had been coursing through her head since the walk from the common room kept on being repeated, as sinister now as it was then.

 _You'll get what's coming to you, Mudblood. And your family too._

When Lily met the sad eyes of the headmaster, she began minutely shaking her head.

When he opened his mouth to utter the words 'I'm sorry.', her heart _shattered._

She crumpled to the floor, a puddle amidst the broken remnants of her life.

 _ **You were fading,**_

 _ **Your mind was clouding,**_

 _ **I kept stumbling,**_

 _ **Just as you kept dying.**_

 _ **My legs are unsteady**_

 _ **My feet are faltering**_

 _ **My vision is blotchy**_

 _ **And my bones are breaking**_

 _ **My world has shattered**_

 _ **My heart has stopped**_

 _ **My lungs can't get air**_

 _ **My throat closes up**_

 _ **All because you lie there**_

 _ **Blue as water yet pale as snow**_

 _ **Cold as death**_

 _ **Your arms still outstretched.**_

 **The poetry is from four of my poems that I wrote four-ish years ago and that I rehashed so that they fit with the plot, so feedback is wonderfully appreciated here!**


	33. Chapter 33

_**WARNING**_ _ **: the beginning of the chapter starts off with some relatively descriptive scenes, hinting at rape. In my belief, it's still within the T rating, but just wanting to make that clear. If it's not for you, skip till the end of the italics.**_

 **I'm really sorry about the lateness of this update, but I've been so busy that there wasn't much that I could do about it. Anyways, I hope you like the chapter, and please review!**

 **Disclaimer: I've never been to England.**

 **Chapter 33**

' _Mum, I'm home! Hello?' As Lily made her way into the kitchen, she went through the process of making a cup of tea. She could smell the casserole in the oven and could see empty coffee mugs in the sink, but the house was silent, without any indication that anyone was home. But that didn't make sense; Sarah Evans would never leave something unattended in the oven, and there was a half-drunk cup of coffee that was still warm. As Lily made her way into the living room, she picked up the fallen magazines and books, the empty record cases and torn throw pillows with a confused expression gracing her features. As she saw multiple tears in the floral wallpaper, her stomach revolted in a horrible understanding that it deemed unfit to inform her brain of._

' _Anyone home?' She called out hesitantly, afraid of the answer –or lack thereof._

 _She approached the staircase and trailed her hand up the banister as she moved up, distantly noting the sogginess of the carpet in the back of her mind. When she reached the landing, Lily was so distracted after having determined that the carpeted stairs were soaked in blood, that she tripped and landed on her hands. When she was once again standing on her feet –trembling more than ever before –she turned around to face what, exactly she had tripped on._

 _Her voice froze in her throat as she let out an anguished, desperate cry, both in its pain and in its denial._

 _In a pool soaked in his own blood, lay Frank Evans with gashes running over his entire body, his arm outstretched towards the bedrooms._

 _She fell upon his chest and sobbed, running her hands softly through his bloodied hair. She let out another heart-wrenchingly broken sob as she noticed the handprints marring his face and neck, the broken nose, split lip and swollen eye._

 _As she gazed upon the beaten and defeated form of her father, she found it unbearable that_ this _was what such a strong man was reduced to. That even in the face of death, he would be refused to retain his dignity by his murderers._

 _Her tears spilled over his face as she slowly closed his eyes, knowing in her heart that she never wanted to see his once-brilliant blue eyes reduced to such bland, lifeless orbs ever again._

 _With another cry of anguish, she apprehensively made her way towards her parents' bedroom, nudging the door open with her foot. This time, the scream that tore out her throat bore no denial, but rather emitting such an anguished cry of pain that it would've shattered even the most coldest of hearts._

 _She took in the scene before her blurred eyesight, the blood spattered walls and torn bedding and wallpaper seeming to be reflected upon her very soul._

 _As her gaze landed upon her mother, lying there on the bedspread with her clothes torn and her face mauled, Lily collapsed against the destroyed door frame, her head shaking in denial just as her heart broke in its pain._

 _Dimly, she took note of the bite and claw marks covering her body, as well as the torn undergarments left hanging of the bedframe, which left no doubt as to exactly how Sarah Evans suffered before she was given the mercy of death; however, her demise showed anything but mercy._

 _Lily turned around and retched onto the bloodied hallway carpet, adding the vomit to the pool of blood and tears. Once she recovered as much as she could, she approached the ravaged form of her mother and slowly covered her with a blanket before she shut her mother's eyes, the dim green causing Lily to feel so much more pain than what she thought was even possible, before she ran out of the house as fast as she could and collapsed upon the front lawn. She wept facing the street, unable to look upon the house or her mother's garden, which had been her pride and glory, until the sound of her anguished cries drew her neighbors to investigate what her shrieks hadn't. She was still sobbing uncontrollably when the police and ambulances approached, unable to stop even as she was forced onto a gurney._

 _It was only when she was injected with something and once darkness claimed her, that the redhead stopped her weeping._

 _But, even as she slept, nothing could stop the tears pouring down the side of her face._

* * *

Lily woke from the nightmare unable to differentiate reality from her traumatic dream –her parents were dead in both, so did it really matter anyways? –as she sat up in a panic. She couldn't help but feel like she was being smothered, and she glanced frantically around the room in her alarm. As her panicked brain noted that it was still extremely early in the morning, she found that she was awfully glad for it; all of her friends were still deeply asleep –and mercifully alive, her mind whispered to her –and thus unable to comment on the dreadful shuddering of her body.

As she tried valiantly to keep her gasping sobs quiet so as to not wake her roommates, Lily slowly untangled herself from her bed sheets and put on her dressing gown. Unable to regulate her breathing, Lily silently tore out of the dorm room in an attempt to escape the pressure in her ribcage and her shattered heart and headed back to the Room of Requirement, just as she had the night she had gone to see Professor Dumbledore.

She thought back to that night a week ago with a slight blush, though her grief left her no room for other thoughts.

The night that she had been told her of parents' fate, it had taken two calming draughts and at least six lemon drops before Professor Dumbledore could explain to Lily the circumstances revolving around her parents' death –her mother, mauled and raped by a werewolf, her father tortured by four different Death Eaters.

Though his descriptions were not extremely detailed, there was little doubt in the redhead's mind as to how the scene would've looked; she was only glad that Petunia had moved out after getting married, so that at least she had some immediate family left.

That night, after having left the Headmaster's office, Lily could not focus enough to even direct her feet, and was surprised when she found herself in front of the Room of Requirement. When she pushed open the door she had subconsciously called forth, tears sprang to her eyes even through her dazed expression.

She was standing in her bedroom; she could see her pictures of her family hanging on the wall, see her mum's jumper that Lily had _borrowed_ hanging in the closet, see the shirts that she wore to bed, freshly stolen from her father's clean laundry bin and stashed in her own. Lily crumpled to the floor, curling in on herself, and stared at the white ceiling, trying not to imagine a blood red patch seeping in from the room –her parent's room –next door; James and Sirius had found her like that not even an hour later, and James carried the almost-platonic redhead back to Gryffindor Tower.

Sirius had set up what roughly resembled a bed for James on the floor, while James himself was attempting to deposit Lily on his own bed; her surprising yet insistent refusal to release her grip from around his neck resulted in him practically falling on her. Blushing profusely, he tried to get her to let go, but when she merely whimpered and tightened her grip, he sighed and –still blushing –allowed himself to be sprawled along beside her.

While she buried her face in his chest, her shoulders started shaking again and so he began carting his hands through her long, vibrant red hair.

As her tears slowly abated, the redhead feel into a deep, dreamless sleep, curling even more into James, never noticing the wet tears on her face; tears that not all were her own.

No one aside from Lily slept well that night, and yet Lily had barely slept since then.

* * *

Throwing herself into her school work, Lily passed her days either in the classrooms, the library, or the Room of Requirement duelling the dummies; the only thing that seemed as never-ending as her grief was her anger.

James was understandably quite worried.

In fact, the thing that worried him the most was the fact that Lily didn't even seem to be taking time to eat, and it only took one look at her to know that she wasn't sleeping well again. The redhead hadn't been seen at more than seven meals in the week's time, and James had asked Misa, the Head House Elf, if Lily had been in at all in search of food; his anxieties only grew as he had been told that she had not.

Nothing compared to the anxiety he had felt that night that they had all found out, and he was sure that it was one of his most horrible memories to date.

Professor McGonagall returned shortly after leaving with Lily and made her way directly towards their group of friends. When James saw their Transfiguration Professor's puffy, red eyes, his stomach plummeted and he began shaking his head.

'No,' Sirius whispered brokenly, standing on his feet to shakily greet the woman whom he respected more than his entire family. 'Please, dear Merlin, not to Lily.' He drew in a shaky breath at the Professor's anguished nod of her head, and turned around to punch the wall. James watched as his best friend walked away with a bleeding hand, not saying a word to anyone –though that couldn't conceal the tears streaking down his cheeks, nor the pallor of his skin.

A week later, the shock still hadn't entirely worn off their small group of friends; even Marlene, usually as rambunctious as Sirius, garnered nowhere near as much enjoyment as she usually did for making comments about the Professors' supposedly illicit love affairs, and she was much more downtrodden in class.

Sirius, for his part, switched between worried about Lily and pissed off over Voldemort.

When James made his way up to the Common Room late on a Sunday evening, exactly eight days after the massacre that had killed Lily's parents, he was unsurprised to find her being swallowed by the armchair and buried by all her textbooks.

As he plopped himself down across from her, he took note of her lifeless, faded hair, the gauntness to her face, and the dark purple bags.

'Hey, Evans. Must have missed each other in the Great Hall today. All three meals.' He said pointedly, frowning when Lily merely shrugged her shoulders in response.

'Alright, that's it, you're coming with me.' As James grabbed a hold of her hand, he yanked Lily to her feet and dragged her out of the Common Room.

When they approached the Room of Requirement, James left Lily standing there while he paced, thinking, _I need what Lily needs to feel better. I need what Lily needs to feel better. I need what Lily needs to feel better._ When a dark wooden door appeared, James opened it and peered around into the room. When he saw the interior, he smiled brilliantly before leading Lily in. The room had the comfort level of the Common Room, with a fireplace surrounded by a loveseat, but with the addition of a small bar along the far wall. In between the couches sat a coffee table, upon which multiple boxes of Lily's favourite Muggle chocolate were placed. As James brought over a tray of firewhiskey, he noticed that Lily had sat facing the fire, all wrapped up in a throw blanket. When he placed the drinks on the table, James only had enough time to blink before Lily was reaching for one, to be finished immediately afterwards.

James had just opened his mouth to begin his questioning when Lily, silently, handed James a folded up piece of Muggle paper, looking as though had been an attempt at both preserving and tearing the letter to shreds.

 _Freak,_

 _How dare you allow your freakiness to take away Mum and Dad. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be an orphan right now, and you know it. I've sent you your half of the estate, use it to get as far away from me as possible, because I don't ever want to see you again._

 _I suggest finding a new place to live with it, unless freaks like you prefer to be homeless._

 _Don't ever contact me again._

 _Hoping you rot in hell for killing them,_

 _Petunia Dursley._

After he finished reading the hastily scrawled note, James raised his bewildered eyes to the silently crying redhead.

'Oh Lils,' he murmured, gently bringing her onto his lap once more. 'I'm so sorry…so sorry…' He ran his hands through her hair and pressed her closer to him as he felt he shoulders shake. She had wound her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shirt.

'I h-h-have n-no-nowh-nowhere to go.' She sobbed quietly, her frame wracked with her weeping. She clutched him tighter to herself, shuddering in her grief.

His mind suddenly flashed back to Christmas break, where they had been in similar positions having a similar conversation, and he said the only thing that had worked then; 'Move in with me.' His eyes widened in shock and he almost choked on his spit when he realized how that sounded, and so he hastened to add 'You'll always have a home at Potter Manor, and it might actually convince Sirius to stick around for one more summer before he's off on his own.'

When Lily jerked her head up hastily, James could clearly see the anguished hope shinning in her eyes, as well as an abundance of pain; his breath caught just looking at them. 'James, I can't ask that of you, not again…' She whispered, slowly trying to distance herself from his lap.

' _Lily_ …' James whispered brokenly, meeting her eyes with his own unshed tears shinning within. 'Please. _Let me help you_.'

With a heart-wrenching sob, Lily buried her head back into the crook of his neck, nodding as her arms twined around his broad shoulders.

Lily fell asleep soon thereafter, without having moved. When James returned them to the Tower, Lily in his arms, he didn't even bother trying to set her down and leave; after sprawling himself along her side, he had just enough time to wrap himself in a blanket before she was once again using him as a pillow, her head resting on his heartbeat, and unknowing that it beat only for her.

Lily slept better than she had since that first night, completely nightmare free, with arms wrapped around her, holding as close as possible while she tried to figure out a way to fix her shattered heart in her dreams.


	34. Chapter 34

**So my computer crashed for a week and then I had exams; those are my excuses for such a late update, this chapter is posted much later than what I would've wished it to be. I'M SO SORRY!**

 **It seems as if stress has found an obsession in following my every move, and is not the most beneficial in regards to writing. Also, I need to get the two other wisdom teeth removed, and so I'll be zonked out for a little while afterwards. As a result, I'm not sure when the next chapter will be posted, but I just hope it won't be as long of a wait as it was for this chapter..**

 **Reviews are always beneficial to being more productive in writing, as well as relaxing a extremely stressed writer! (Plus, they really did help me over the summer when I had my other two wisdom teeth removed, so I'll be shameless and ask for more once again!)**

 **Disclaimer: I'm poor and I own nothing. Please don't sue, a girl's gotta eat.**

 **Chapter 34**

 _Love, isn't happiness._

 _Rather, it is its own definition, able to coexist with both suffering and joy, life and death, grief and warmth._

 _Love is defined as a strong affection, linked through possible kinship, personal ties, or attraction. In many different forms, love flows between us all, creating and destroying. Love is governed by itself, seemingly without rules or guidelines, and without a thought to anything. It cares not for the troubles that coexist, or those that might arise should something happen to the one we love._

 _It is tied to memories, forcing us to recall happier times, to idolize the past, to believe that we had fewer struggles than the present. It warps, twists, and disfigures our perspective, disfiguring our sense of self until we become dependent upon the other's presence, should the relationship be amorous or otherwise; and when the object of such emotions vanishes, we find that we experience much difficulty in functioning without their company._

 _We find that, without them, we are not as whole as we were before, that we are not completely ourselves._

 _Love, in short, is a pain in the ass._

* * *

As Lily suddenly jerked awake, she slowly blinked open her grainy eyes and let them take in her surroundings, finding them unsurprising as of late; it seemed that, for the fifth time that week, she had fallen asleep in the Common Room, after having retreated to a spot by the fire after another nightmare.

This time, her sister had been home as well, and Lily could still hear Petunia's last words –yelling that it was all Lily's fault, mingled with the garbled sound of skin being separated from bone, the sound of blood filling the lungs and choking from the inside –ringing in her ears.

With another shudder, Lily turned towards the fire once more, prepared to gaze into the fiery depths until the morning sun broke across the sky. Instead, her puffy green eyes met with concerned hazel, framed by spectacles. After nearly jumping off the armchair in surprise, Lily stared at him in confusion and concern.

'Is everything alright, James? What are you doing down here? You should be in bed.' She murmured, a slight frown causing creases in her forehead. Lily watched, uncomprehendingly, as James' mouth worked in frustration, only managing a growl of frustration.

She blinked as he took her in his arms and cradled her, and could only stutter incoherently while he lifted her high enough in the air to be able to slip between her and the chair. He deposited her into his lap, his arms, the one around her shoulders and the other under her knees, never releasing their grip.

Lily tried to blink away the sudden feeling of being protected, just as James tried to shove aside the feeling of _rightness_ that came with having her pressed so close to his body.

'James, –James, what are you doing?' She asked, muffled through his hand, since he had deemed it fit to clamp her mouth shut as soon as she made to speak.

'Do you remember what the sorting hat said to you when you were sorted? Did it seem to ponder every other House, before blurting out of nowhere GRYFFINDOR?' James murmured, staring into the flames as he let his mind wander. Lily, looking quite confused, slowly nodded. 'Do you know what it said to Sirius?' James chuckled weakly, before he gripped her closer to himself. 'He told me afterwards… apparently, the Hat had been prepared to shout SLYTHERIN as soon as it touched his head…'

 _Sirius' hands were shaking._

 _Not that he'd ever let anyone else know, but they were shaking enough that he couldn't risk exposing them while his cousins were in the room; he could feel their expectant, evaluative gazes upon him, pressing down upon him, choking him with a feeling of helplessness and desperation._

 _He was a Black, and as such, everyone he had ever met had him pre-sorted into Slytherin. As soon as he heard his name ring through the Great Hall, Sirius gulped as he stumbled his way up the steps._

 _Never had there been such a less confident Black approaching the Sorting Hat; then again, never had there been a Black who dreaded Hogwarts either, until Sirius. When his vision was cut off by the Sorting Hat, he jumped as he heard a voice whispering in his ear._

' _My, my, my… What kind of Black do we have here?' Sirius could merely clench his hands and start shaking his head in denial, already trying to deter the Hat from associating him with his family, and therefore, Slytherin House. 'I sense something odd, in your head… for a Black, at least… Tell me, Mr. Black, why you fear being placed in Slytherin, when it could bring you all of your greatest desires?'_

' _Please, no. Not Slytherin. Don't make me like them. I don't ever want to be like them.' Sirius pleaded, his eyes misting over with emotion._

' _Like who, young one?'_

' _Like my family. I-I- I never want to be like them. I won't! I refuse!' He shouted in his head, the finality of his tone mixed with his desperate, pleading emotions._

 _'You know, if I were to send you to Slytherin, you'd turn out just like the rest of the Blacks...successful, powerful, feared...' the Sorting Hat said, in a tone that Sirius found to be rather condescending._

 _'I. Don't. Care! Don't you_ dare _sort me into that snake pit, or I'll-I'll- I'll turn you into a scarf! A talking rainbow scarf!' Sirius vowed, determined to figure out the spell required to back up his vow. To Sirius' utter surprise, as well as everyone else in the hall, the Hat burst out laughing for all to hear._

 _When the Hat bellowed_ _'GRYFFINDOR!' across the Great Hall, the very amount of students –and teachers –who either gaped like a fish, looked around to make sure everyone else had heard the same outlandish outcome as they themselves, or made the motions as if they were cleaning out their ears, was astounding;_ _Gryffindor hadn't been an option for him, everyone knew that. Not when he was a Black, and definitely not when he was to be the Head of the Family._

 _There were only the three Black sisters that seemed exempt from the general reactions; Bellatrix looked thunderous, Narcissa superior and condescending, and Andromeda… Andromeda had pride shinning through her teary eyes._

* * *

 _'_ Sirius has always been terrified of being like his family, of being even compared to them. It wasn't until third year that he even out right said anything to us about what his home-life was like.

'In our second year, I remember how long it took me to convince him that he could climb into my bed at night, after he woke up shaking from his nightmares; it goes without saying that he'd had a terrible summer that year.

'Please don't make me spend weeks trying to convince you of the same fact, Lily. You're hurting now, and I just want you to let me fix it.'

When James looked down at the sleepy redhead, he saw that she dazedly, sheepishly, nodded her head in agreement. With a small smile, James rose, still cradling the redhead in his arms, and, while already heading towards the boys' staircase, said, 'C'mon Lils. Let's go back to bed.'

Unknown to each other, they both wished that those words had been said under different circumstances.

* * *

It had taken a while, but slowly and surely, Lily started attending more meals, staying longer in the Common Room, and just generally spending more time with her friends; they were all aware that she had now taken to crawling into bed with James in the early morning, after being woken up from another nightmare, and the other occupants of the dorm had in fact observed the two of them sleeping deeply in each other's arms, legs tangled and Lily using James as a pillow on more than one occasion (when they showed the two the photograph of Lily sprawled over James' chest and James' arms pressing her even more tightly against him, both sleeping deeply, the two could do nothing more than blush so profoundly, their faces matched Lily' hair).

It was because of the fact that Lily was spending more time with her friends that she realized there was one person who was actively avoiding her; ever since the day after they had been told of her parents' fate, Lily had seen neither head nor tail of Remus Lupin.

It had taken her a few days, but she finally managed to corner the evasive werewolf in a unpopulated corner of the library, known for its drafts and pointless reading material.

'If you were serious about hiding from me, Remus, you should've gone somewhere other than the library.' Lily said quietly, as she approached a startled Remus, while he dropped his Transfiguration textbook on top of his incomplete homework in surprise. 'You also shouldn't have given James and Sirius the Map to watch over, since they left it out in the open.' She smirked lightly, approaching the table where he sat, stunned.

'But… how did…?'

'Yeah, well… Moony tried to discourage me, saying all hell would break loose; Padfoot wanted to see Prongs loose his shit and encouraged me to hold onto the Map; Prongs told Padfoot to bugger off and told me I looked gorgeous, just before asking me if I had ever had feelings about a lad named James Potter; Moony said he wanted to slam his head against a wall and suggested I put the Map down; Prongs told Moony to bugger off, and asked if I had an answer yet to the question about James Potter; Padfoot mentioned how much he was enjoying the whole debacle, right before insulting this lad named James Potter; Prongs yelled at Padfoot to shut up, threatening to swap his shampoo with Snape's; and finally, Padfoot started insulting James Potter while Prongs kept on threatening bodily harm.'

'But how did you get the Map to work?' Remus asked, overwhelmed.

'After he was done threatening Padfoot, Prongs helped me out quite a lot with the password.' She laughed, taking a seat at his table, while Remus looked away, refusing to make eye contact as his hands fiddled with his books and his quill.

'So, what are you doing here, Lils? James is probably looking for you by now.' As Lily never turned away, Remus kept on shifting nervously, his cheeks beginning to darken against his will.

'As if you don't know; you've been avoiding me ever since my parents –died.' Lily paused, needing to catch her breath after having expressed that so… _bluntly_ , and continued with barely a pause, 'Care to share your reasons?'

it was only at that point that his own met her blazing green eyes, and her shock at seeing the opposing eyes so filled with pain, guilt, and defeat felt like a bludgeon to the heart.

'There's something you don't know about me, something that I never wanted anyone to know, but… I can't keep this from you, not after your mum, and I'd hate myself even more than I already do if I did.' He paused, not long enough to allow her to gather her wits and begin refuting his statement, and then continued in such a quiet, crushed tone of voice that it felt as if her own heart was being constricted more and more with every beat. 'I'm a Werewolf.' He flinched violently as he said it, no longer meeting her eyes as he turned inwards, instinctively preparing himself for the words of hatred and disgust to start flying; what she said next shocked him more than anything else she'd said all day.

'I know.'

* * *

'You _what_?' Remus asked, stupefied. He stared at her with his mouth agape and bulging eyes, as he remembered all of the patrols he had bailed on her for due to the full moon, and her constantly understanding eyes; he remembered the guilt he felt whenever he had to lie to her, or make up an excuse and be forced to meet her eyes; he remembered the extra chocolate and food she'd forced on him throughout the years, the random hugs; he remembered her compassion, rather than sympathy and pity, which always seemed worse than fear or disgust.

He remembered how she had always been his friend, was always there for him, and had never judged him.

Even when she knew all along.

* * *

When Lily stumbled after being side-along Apparated by Professor McGonagall, two sets of hands reached out to steady her. Sending James and Marlene each a look of teary gratitude, she looked up at her parents' old house as she barely registered McGonagall making the portkey preparations with her two friends for their return to school; Lily's mind was occupied replaying every nightmare she'd had of her parents' death.

Though it had been just shy of a month since the attack, her nightmares had only just lessened, though she thought that had more to do with her habit of sleeping with James than a lessening of her grief and guilt.

It had only been later on during the day when she had confronted Remus on his avoidance of her that Dumbledore informed Lily that the Muggle police had finished their investigation of the house, and so she was able to return to gather anything that had survived the attack; anything that Petunia hadn't already claimed, that is.

With her fists clenched, her heart in her throat, and tears streaming down her cheeks, Lily took small steps towards her childhood home.

She hardly noticed when James came up beside her, her mind barely registering the warmth that came with an arm wrapping itself around her shoulders and tugging her close.

When she slowly opened the front door, the creak of the door seemed to echo forlornly in the wreckage, the shredded curtains and spilled couch fluff fluttering in the cold breeze. She could see the broken photographs adorning the walls, china shattered on the floor, and plants knocked over, earth spilling onto the bloodied rug.

She let Marlene tackle all the personal effects on the first floor, since there really wasn't much aside from the few photographs, while Lily and James made their way to the second floor.

She made her way to her bedroom first, and stood in the doorway, unable to move beyond the threshold; the last time she had been in this room, she was still whole; she wasn't an orphan; she was happy.

With a great shudder, she stepped into the room and began searching under her bed for her various storage bins; among them, she unearthed keepsakes, old clothes, even older photographs, as well as quite an embarrassing amount of solitary socks, all of which were covered in dust.

Without conscious thought, Lily gathered all of her clothes, decorations, personal effects, even her throw blankets, and packed them all away in bags. After almost two hours, the only things left in her room that were not packed away was the furniture; even the sheets on her bed had been stripped and packed. She had had Professor Dumbledore agree to her renting a storage container until after school when she would be living on her own, and he had taken the arrangements upon himself; she had to take everything that she wanted with her back to the school, and pack up anything she wanted in storage in boxes. The large furniture she had only to identify which she wanted, and the lot would be moved the following morning by the company.

Once she had piled everything in the middle of the room, she turned around and gazed into the calm, sorrowful eyes of James, who'd been standing in the corner watching her the entire time; a rush of gratitude swarmed her senses as she gazed upon the boy who would not leave her to face her demons alone, but did not restrict her from facing them in the first place.

'C'mon, baby-girl; we still have the master bedroom and the attic to tackle before we can head back.'

As she grasped his outstretched hand, she gripped it tightly as she murmured, 'Do you think we could tackle their room last?'

'Whatever you need, Lils. You just tell me whatever you need.'

* * *

After Marlene, James, and Lily returned to the castle, Lily had sat down, determined to complete her Charms essay that night; while it was by far her best and her favourite class, Flitwick assigned her many extra credit projects for her to do for fun that took more time than the usual homework, as well as required access to the Restricted Section to be able to complete. After sitting in the Common Room for only forty-five minutes, she realized that she was missing one of her tomes that she'd need in order to complete the assignment. After checking the time, she strode out of the Portrait Hole in a brisk pace, knowing she'd have just barely enough time to get to the library and back before curfew.

Once she reached the Fourth Floor however, she found her passage to be blocked by two Seventh Year Slytherins.

'Excuse me.' She murmured, trying to pass them as passively as possible. A frown marred Lily's face as they moved to block her path without a word. When she heard someone approach from behind her, she moved her hand to her pocket, where her wand was concealed and turned around to face them.

'Well, well, well… What do we have here, boys? Could it be?' The mocking voice of Bellatrix Black rang out, a high pitched drawl that gritted on Lily's nerves to no end on the best of days. 'Has Miss Itty, Bitty, Perfect Pwefect has come out to play? And so close to curfew too!' Bellatrix smirked, her hooded eyes glinting in malicious glee as she twirled her wand in her hand.

Lily had just drawn her wand when Bellatrix shrieked loudly, ' _Expelliarmus_!', and her wand shot out into the awaiting hand of Bellatrix Black.

'Such a pitiful little Mudblood… can't even draw her wand properly…' The approaching witch drawled. 'I wonder, if we should teach her a lesson…Restrain her.' She snapped to Mulciber and Avery, while she her self cast ' _Silencio'_ on Lily, preventing her from making any noise. 'Roll up her sleeves.' Bellatrix was so close to her that Lily could make out the cold, dead appearance of the Black eyes, of Sirius' eyes, and she shuddered at what such a lack of humanity meant for her. She struggled in her bonds, trying to cry out as she fell to the ground after a kick to the back of her legs, and thrashed on the floor as she was pinned down by both of the male Seventh Years.

She begged for help, tears streaming down her face, and screamed her throat hoarse, but no sound emerged.

As Bellatrix stood above her, she heard her begin to mutter an incantation before the pain became too much, and she blacked out; the word _Mudblood_ being carved into the forearm of her wand arm, mixed with a lesser, legal variation of the _Cruciatus Curse_ had been too much for her traumatized brain to handle.


	35. Chapter 35

**Reviews = love**

 **Disclaimer: I can't afford my coffee addiction; pretty sure I own nothing in the HP universe!**

 **Chapter 35**

When James made his way up the stairs, he heard a shrill voice that grated on his ears. 'Has Miss Itty, Bitty, Perfect Pwefect has come out to play? And so close to curfew too!' He hurried up the staircase and turned off into a side corridor with apprehension in every movement, since the corridor was mostly frequented by Gryffindor students on their way from the Library and heading towards Gryffindor Tower. He heard Bellatrix cast ' _Expelliarmus_!', and then another taunt by the fanatic witch. 'Such a pitiful little Mudblood… can't even draw her wand properly…' James started to run when he heard Bellatrix command someone to restrain their victim, and he entered the corridor to see Lily thrashing on the floor, unconscious, pinned down by both of the male Seventh Years.

Remnants of tears streaming down her face, her face fixed in agony, and Bellatrix proudly carving Mudblood into the flesh on her wand arm was all that he was able to see of Lily, and then he only saw red.

One would not claim that he was lenient with the attackers, unless they bothered to ask James just what he would've _liked_ to do; as it was, he cast the _Baubillious_ spell, which jolted Bellatrix with a bolt of lightning, created a ring of fire around himself and the comatose Lily as a barrier, cast the fixing charm to prevent the attackers from fleeing the area, and then the _Area Spell_ , stunning the assailants and leaving them to fall to the cold, hard stone floor unconscious.

He was able to send off a flying memo on a spare bit of parchment, using the same spell that his father used at the Ministry, to summon the Headmaster, Madame Pomphrey, and the Heads of Gryffindor and Slytherin before he rushed even closer to Lily's fallen frame.

James fell to the floor as his adrenaline left him, leaning against the wall and holding the still unconscious Lily tightly to his chest. All throughout the duration of questioning the Professors put him through to when he was finally permitted to rest in the Hospital Wing, he never once left go of the redhead he had sworn to himself that he'd protect.

* * *

When Lily finally awoke the next morning after another nightmare, where no one had come to her rescue, she found herself in the Hospital Wing, and still pressed tightly against a sleeping James.

She merely rolled over till she lay over top of him, covering his body completely with her own. She soon fell back into a dreamless sleep, aware that her saviour was, in fact, always there for her.

* * *

The silence in the Great Hall broke as sobs began to break through the oppression of shock, as newspapers were crumpled in trembling fists and wailing students were ushered out, in a search for the privacy that they so desperately needed.

Lord Voldemort, it seemed, had felt that sending the students home to empty houses would be a grand idea, and sent his Death Eaters out to murder over a hundred people, Muggle and wizard alike, as well as injuring countless others.

The war had finally reared its ugly head for all to see, and everyone was petrified.

* * *

' _Lily doesn't want me, Sirius_!' James yelled, his throat scratchy with pain and frustration as his voice broke. 'She doesn't want me, and _that's okay._ You keep asking me about my feelings, but they aren't the ones that matter here! The fact that I'm in love with her doesn't matter. Please. Just drop it.' James stormed out of the dormitory, tears threatening to spill. While the news of the massacre broke earlier that week, Lily had distanced herself slightly from their group, retreating to the Room of Requirement more and more, and speaking less and less; in fact, the only thing that hadn't changed were her nightmares, though now they featured the families of her friends as well as her own.

For those students who hadn't lost loved ones, many found themselves searching for a suitable distraction for the turmoil that was happening just a short distance outside the castle walls, and Sirius and Remus were no different.

The two boys could only gaze and the empty doorway, sympathy and their own versions of frustration and pain reflected in their own eyes.

'You know, Moony, if he'd just yank his head out of his arse for one sodding second, you'd think he'd realise that she _does_ want him.' Sirius harrumphed, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting, as he turned his glare towards the ceiling above his canopy bed.

'You don't know that either, Padfoot.' Remus murmured pensively. 'Frankly, I'm not sure even if Lily knows what she wants at this point. After everything that's happened, it could be that she isn't ready to commit to such a level of affection, afraid of them being taken away as well.'

'That's only a part of it, you know.' Marlene said quietly, slinking her way into the room and heading onto Sirius' bed, siting down with her back to his headboard and her feet in his lap.

'What do you mean?' Sirius asked, lifting his head slightly to meet the gaze of the brunette. Remus turned towards them, face revealing his disquiet.

'She's muggleborn, at a time when that's really not a good thing to be.' Marlene said, rising from the bed and pacing the room. 'She's afraid that she'll bring everything that she's suffered onto anyone else; just look at the _Daily Prophet_! The people slaughtered were either Muggleborn, or Blood Traitors for daring to associate with them. She's emotionally damaged, but wanting to limit that to herself as much as possible.' Marlene shook her head in frustration. 'She wants to bear the target on her back alone, rather than bring anyone else –especially James –any closer to it. I think she fancies him too, but that she's too self-sacrificing to do anything about it.' Marlene growled, her disgust at the world and pain for her friend shining through her eyes and clenched firsts. She shuddered, nauseated, over what the Wizarding World had done to her innocently _beautiful_ friend.

It had done what a young toddler had done in a garden; it saw a thriving, vibrant rose, and crushed it.

* * *

As June passed by, it was marked by the frantic pages in textbooks turned, tissues spent, chocolate consumed, tears shed, and exams written.

When Lily had just finished adding the period to her last sentence, on her last exam, she exhaled in relief whilst the bell rang. The end of exams had arrived, bringing a sense of new beginnings in regards to the summer for both the redhead and many others, as well as a sense of loss.

Sure, she wouldn't be going home, and she still had nightmares almost every night, but she'd managed to remain in her own bed a few nights a week, instead of retreating to James'; and though she couldn't deny to herself that she didn't sleep as well as she did in his, it was only her Gryffindor sense of righteousness that kept her from taking advantage of his willingness to help a friend. The level of satisfaction and comfort that came with having his arms wrapped tightly around her, deeply asleep under her, was far from platonic, and it killed her to think that he had no idea.

It killed her even more to think that his support meant more to her than it did him.

It killed her that first morning after she hadn't retreated to his bed, when she had only seen pride shining through his eyes at breakfast for her accomplishment, before he brushed it all aside and continued eating his toast.

It killed her that night, when she had crawled into his bed earlier than usual, chased there by a nightmare of him no longer caring for her, even as a friend. His expression of disgust floating above her eyes only disappeared when he welcomed her with open arms –literally –while still being deeply asleep, wrapping her close almost instinctively and letting his breath ghost down her neck. In the predawn light, she had sworn that she was awoken for a moment, to feel him tighten his arms around her, brushing a kiss on her forehead, before disregarding such an impossible notion with a sweep of a hand, along with the hope that only seemed to crush her heart, before falling back asleep.

* * *

For James, the spring days of June passed in a blur, his attention only being on the nights when he could pull a sleeping Lily tighter against his chest. On the first morning James had woken up without his arms full of the redhead, he felt both proud and extremely depressed, and could meet her eyes for only a minute, questioning if she was okay and if she had slept. Her eyes, though slightly sleepy, had shown in the morning light, and he smiled, forcing aside his own misery before returning to his toast; it seemed, through the pause during which he and Lily had interacted, someone had charmed his toast to taste like cardboard. He forced himself to swallow it back, just as he had done with his despair, and tried to distract himself with his revision for Defence.

When he had awoken shortly before dawn the next morning, his sight blinded by the fiery red hair seeming to be burning in the light, the only way he could express the soaring of his heart was to grip her closer and lightly press a kiss to her forehead. He shoved aside his guilt that this meant more to him than it did to her and returned to sleep, troubled dreams of an angry Lily accusing him of taking advantage of her chasing him into darkness.

* * *

When the Hogwarts Express pulled into Hogsmeade Station, many students were still raving about the end of year prank the Marauders pulled while they clambered onto the train; magical fireworks had been released in the Great Hall, that depicted not only the House mascots gambolling around each other, but also the Heads of Houses and the Headmaster twirling about the hall, wearing tutus and tiaras (Dumbledore, in particular, seemed to relish in his persona's performance).

'Just because your ego's bigger than your head doesn't mean you have to act like it, Potter.' Lily scoffed, smiling as they all meandered down the corridors heading towards their compartment.

'Not my fault that even Ravenclaws can recognize smarts, Evans. Besides, my head is vast enough to compensate for my ego.' James said, puffing up his chest pompously. It was only as Marlene, Remus, Lily, and Sirius couldn't contain their snorts of laughter that he realised what he had implied, and his cheeks wasted no time in flushing.

'My, my, Prongs. Look at where all the blood's going now, hmm? You sure about the size of your ego, now that all the blood's up there?' Remus guffawed, caused the rest of the group to break out in peals of laughter once more.

'Oh shut it, Moony. I wasn't the one howling last night.' James smirked, knowing all of their friends knew that the full moon had been the previous night.

'No, you just kept ramming into trees.' Sirius snorted gleefully, smirking at his friend.

'You licked yourself.' James protested, looking Sirius dead in the eye even as he sputtered in protest and Lily's head fell into his lap, tears streaming down her face. James took a moment to be proud that he had succeeded in getting such a strong, _positive_ reaction from her.

'I really didn't need to know that about you, Sirius,' Marlene said, shuddering. 'And I really don't need to know anything else.'

'Are you sure, Marls?' Sirius slid towards her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he said, 'Don't you want to see if my head can match my ego?'

'I'd rather be stuck to McLeod for a week, thanks.' Marlene scoffed, shrugging out of his grip.

'Ouch, Padfoot, must've hurt. Second Year's DADA Professor with the teal robes and orange complexion that always smelt like cabbage; I was always nauseated after only an hour of being in the same room as him.' Peter laughed, clapping him on the back before setting up the deck of Exploding Snap. The rest of the train ride passed by in a blur of explosions, laughter, and chatter. It was only the last hour or so that the group calmed down, when muggle clothing was adorned and the fight to fit everything back in their trunks started once again.

When the train pulled up into Kings Cross, Lily forced aside the thought that it was the first time that her parents weren't there, before pasting on a smile that fooled only herself, and followed behind James to where his parents were standing on the platform.

* * *

 **I don't want to make excuses for my lack of updates, so all I'll say is that life happened and I got extremely busy; I'm so sorry. Also, I'm really not the biggest fan of this chapter, so it only exacerbated my writer's block. All reviews are encouraged, and I hope you all forgive me!**


	36. Chapter 36

**I really struggled with this chapter, as you can tell by how late the update is, and I sincerely apologize; turns out, I go on a long car ride and most of the chapter writes itself. I hope to be faster with the next update (even with the lack of road trip), and I really wanted to thank you so much for all the reviews I've gotten; they're all amazing and I was shocked at all the feedback you were all giving me!**

 **This one's for you guys!**

 **Disclaimer: I'm a starving student, not the creator of Harry Potter and his wonderful world. I'm flattered over the confusion, but I'd rather not have saved all my money for schooling only to be forced to spend it in court; don't sue, I own nothing!**

 **Chapter 36**

 _Survivor's guilt is complicated; just as all other emotions, and females, are._

 _Survivor's guilt over a dead parent (or parents) is even worse._

 _It makes you hate being alive, but determined to live, if only to honour the deceased._

 _It makes you feel selfish, unworthy, and wasteful; why should you be alive, when they were each a better person than you are?_

 _When they were everything to you, how much of you is actually left to live?_

 _It makes you hate having to distinguish between your verbs, for you can never describe them in the present again; while you have a future, theirs was taken away right in front of you._

 _It means that you lived, when someone you loved died._

 _It means that it could've been either of you, and sometimes, in the darkest time of the night, you admit that you wish it had been you._

 _It makes you feel like you value yourself more than your family, than your parents, when you know that you'd always do everything you could for them._

 _It makes you doubt yourself._

 _It means regretting everything you do, because they should've gotten the chance._

 _It means feeling like the world is pressing all around you, judging you, condemning you, for living, when they died._

 _It means hating yourself for something you had absolutely no control over, and being unable to separate yourself from the guilt swallowing you whole._

* * *

The first morning of summer vacation started off as any other morning in the Potter household when the boys were home; loudly, and with copious amounts of food.

The only difference, being that there was a redheaded female somewhere in the tangle of limbs on the floor, doubtlessly a victim in the mad rush to reach the breakfast table, and the feast that awaited the teens there.

'Boys! Stop squashing poor Lily!' Warned Mrs. Potter, poking her head in from the kitchen, before retreating once again to the table. She therefore missed seeing the redhead flip over James, pinning him to the floor with her legs spread out on either side of him with a spell cast to ceaselessly tickle Sirius everywhere, and reaching over to poke and prod James mercilessly.

It took over a minute before Sirius was able to reach his wand to disarm Lily, and by then, Mr. Potter was walking by them shaking his head in amusement, just close enough to hear James mutinously mutter, 'I knew we shouldn't have let you train with those Auror dummies. It always comes back to bite us in the arse.'

When Mr. Potter just stilled and stared at the three teens, they looked at him in puzzlement from their spot on the floor (though Lily scrambled off of James, trying desperately to hide her blush in the meantime).

'James? What did you just say?' He asked his son, in a quiet, confused tone.

'What…Oh!' James said, his confusion melting away to excitement. 'Dad, you'll never guess what "poor Lily" can do!' He grinned, hoping his ego might be salvaged after what had just happened; he could've sworn he'd heard his mother's chuckles over his shrieks while being poked and prodded by the tiny redhead.

'She's trained with the Auror Level Training Dummies. And, she's beaten them!' Sirius declared triumphantly, watching as shock covered Mr. Potter's face.

'Three times.' James added, smirking proudly at a blushing Lily.

'Really?' Mr. Potter turned towards Lily, excitement gleaming in his eyes. 'Well, Lily, maybe you'd honour me with a duel? Most of my Aurors have never beaten them, and as of just a few months ago, I've beaten them only twice.' While he waited for her answer, Lily could tell she wouldn't be getting out of it.

'Of course, Mr. Potter.' She agreed, blushing and worrying her bottom lip.

'Excellent! After breakfast, then?' He asked, leading them all to the kitchen table.

Lily's appetite seemed to shrink into itself, as if her system was already converting all its energy to adrenaline in preparation. It left for a very jumpy redhead to try to manage swallowing some toast, hindered by the fact that it seemed as if she was eating cardboard.

* * *

'Alright, I know from the boys that you've already been taught the proper way to duel, what's used in tournaments and such, but I'll show you what a field duel is like.' Mr. Potter said, as he cast multiple spells to change the Duelling Room into a simulation of a forest. Layering it with various dense patched of trees, boulders and hills, the large room became reminiscent of the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts.

Lily discreetly wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans while James, Sirius, Mrs. Potter and Remus, who had been invited over for the day, seated themselves in the seats set up above the arena, outside of the Dome Shield that would protect them from any stray spells.

'Now,' Mr. Potter continued, turning to face her, 'You can use anything within the dome to your advantage, no spells that are Dark, and nothing illegal –wouldn't want to have to bring in the girl that can beat most of my men on something like that, would we?' He laughed, smiling warmly in reassurance. 'On the count of three, we'll begin. James, care to do the honours?' He called, before adapting a duelling stance.

As Lily synced her breathing with James' countdown, she centered herself and went into her own stance just as James cast a loud bang from his wand, signalling the beginning of the duel.

Her mind calm and focused, Lily began her spell casting.

* * *

Remus stared, open-mouthed, at the fiery explosion emitting from a twirling redhead.

'There's no way that's legal.' Sirius said, dumbfounded; it obviously wasn't a well-known spell, otherwise his parents would've been using it for the fear factor in the house.

'It is, though I'm almost positive it's a modified spell.' Mrs. Potter responded, her forehead crinkled in thought. ' _Incendio_ and the blasting curse, if I'm not mistaken…' She trailed off in both contemplation and admiration; not many fully-matured wizards could modify spells and potions, without being a Master in the art. While she knew that James had mentioned Lily being known as the Charms Queen, she had no idea how far that went; or how accurate.

Together, they watched as Lily confronted and retreated from Mr. Potter, meeting him for every spell cast and every object hurled. She spun away from projectile rocks that had been enchanted to launch themselves at her, while jumping over the rocky, torturous terrain. Her hair flew, her eyes sparked, and her wrist snapped. She was a hurricane in a petite shell, and Remus knew, just by looking at his face, the amount of awe she inspired in James.

When her face deepened until the colour almost matched her hair, Remus saw Mr. Potter stumble on a root that was sticking up into the air. While he tripped, Lily managed to gather a few gasping breaths in respite, as she cast _Stupefy!_ just as Mr. Potter fired off an _Expelliarmus!_ from his exposed position on the ground.

Both spells met their targets, and the duel was over, the silence reverberating among the shocked audience and Mr. Potter, and a stunned and sweaty Lily.

After the duel, Mr. Potter approached Lily and, while shaking her hand, asked her to call him Fleamont.

* * *

The summer passed in a whirlwind of Quidditch, pranks, and firewhiskey, with brief visits of Remus and Marlene cropping up every week or so; it was on one such night that all the teens brought a few bottles of firewhiskey with them out onto the Quidditch Pitch in the early evening.

It was a late July night, with the summer heat and leftover sweat heavy in the air, that Lily was bemoaning the state of her tan, and how all of her Quidditch gear had left her seeming to be wearing white armour constantly, including gloves, with a mass of freckles covering everything else.

'Look at this! My skin was porcelain!' She grumbled, while laying sprawled on the grassy Pitch, thrusting her freckled arm in front of James' bewildered face, 'does it look porcelain to you?' She wailed, swallowing a large mouthful of firewhiskey.

'Please, Lils, James has never been limited in his compliments of you; being unable to use "porcelain" won't deter him." Sirius slurred, smiling dazedly at a confused and rapidly blinking James.

'If I could follow your conversation, I feel like I should be offended.' James said, forcing Lily's arm back down to her side, while pulling her closer to him; she clutched her hands to his chest while she waited for the room to stop spinning, though she seemed to have forgotten about letting go soon after. 'Merlin, you're cold, Lils.' He murmured, attempting to rub heat into her no-longer-porcelain arms. The fact that his arms now encircled her body was merely coincidental.

'Way to go, Sirius, now they're getting all mushy.' Marlene complained, moving to whack him on the back of the head. She stumbled on the way, however, and happened to land in a delighted Sirius' lap with a groan.

'Comfortable, McKinnon?' Sirius asked breathlessly, attempting to recover for the sudden weight falling onto him –or so he claimed.

'Just peachy, Black.' Marlene groused, rolling herself off and groaning on the floor.

The four friends collectively groaned as Remus began singing a Christmas carol, belting out the lyrics and setting their heads ringing.

'Moony, why?' James said, trying to shield his ears by hiding his head in the crook of Lily's neck. His nose was swarmed by the smell of roses and fire, and he tightened his grip on her in pure reflex.

'Because we're having a jolly good time.' Remus responded, smiling widely, before poking Sirius on his side, who'd been miming throwing up.

'We are, aren't we Remus; you know what would make it even better?' Lily asked, lifting her head from the wonderful heat of James' chest, forcing him to lift his own. 'If we don't get a drumming headache before the morning.' She poked her tongue out playfully at him before returning her head to James' chest, feeling his head return to its own spot.

'Nah, I think we should all go swimming.' Sirius suddenly said, sitting up straight and smiling broadly. As four eyes turned to stare at him, he huffed loudly. 'Prongs, you have this thing called a lake, right up the drive. It'll be empty now, no Muggles about, we can bring the firewhiskey.' He stood, pulling a lightly protesting Marlene with him, and transfigured his clothes into a bathing suit and towel. When the rest of the group still stared at him blankly, he huffed, before transfiguring their own clothes likewise. 'You guys wouldn't know fun if it swam up to you and bit you on the arse.' He said, dragging them all to their feet and pulling Remus and Marlene along by the arms. Lily followed, laughing lightly, and it took James a few seconds to control his blush at seeing Lily in such a revealing swimsuit before being able to follow the group of laughing teenagers.

After he had caught up with them, he pulled Lily's still shivering form and once more tucked her into his side, revelling in being able to feel so much skin.

'You know Potter, if you looked like this back in fifth year, your bragging about your body was an understatement.' Lily giggled, looking at him with laughing eyes.

'You know, you've always looked like this, and I think you need to brag more, Evans.' James replied, his eyes mirroring her humour when a blush spread across her freckled cheeks –James had to refrain himself from kissing every single one, and decided to instead turn his attention from the tempting redhead at his side to the other three, or rather two; Sirius had run ahead and was already careening into the large lake.

'How come I've never been here?' Marlene called back to James, hiding her smile about her two friends.

'Because it's –' Remus began, only to be cut off by a blood-curling shriek from a wet Sirius. 'Cold.' He finished simply, smirking over at a shivering Sirius.

'You know, you dunderheads, we're all seventeen here.' Lily pointed out, raising a single eyebrow at their questioning gazes. 'There's this thing called a _Warming Charm_?' She laughed, pulling out her wand from the knot in her hair, causing the red locks to tumble down her back; James was so fixated on her hair that he forgot to ask her why she hadn't done that before, instead of practically crawling into his side the first time.

Once the drunken stumbling and laughter died down, all the teens, now equipped with warming charms, rushed into the lake, laughing and splashing each other. They spent hours in the now-warm lake, playing a variation of different Muggle games that Lily introduced them all to. By far his favourite, James enjoyed _Marco Polo_ the most, having been able to catch a squirming, slippery Lily and pull her to him, holding on to her and refusing to let go. When she stopped attempting to escape and merely settled into him, wrapping her legs around his torso and arms around his neck, he swallowed a lump in his throat when she laid her head on his shoulder and sighed, sending goose bumps all over his arms, of which weren't protected even by the warming charms still cast on the two teens.

* * *

Later that night, when Lily felt her head begin to spin, and her stomach burn in rebellion, she knew she'd had enough.

When Lily rushed to the bathroom, tripping and running into the doorframe in her rush to make it to the toilet, she knew she'd had enough.

When Lily knelt, acid burning her throat and tears pouring down her face, she knew that she'd had enough, and that her stomach was as empty as she was.

When the room darkened and blackness rushed up to greet her, she knew that drinking an entire bottle of firewhiskey in an hour (after multiple hours of previous drinking) was a horrible idea, and that it only showed just how empty she was inside.

She'd had too much to drink to feel the guiding hand leading her into the bathroom, to notice that her hair had been held back from her face, to keep it from getting covered in vomit, and she never noticed the circles being continuously rubbed into her back, filling her with warmth.

Lily was too far gone in the bottle to realize that James had been with her every stumbling, emotionally empty step of the night, helping her; trying to keep her whole. She never saw his pain reflected in his eyes, or in the downturn of his lips, while still the nausea turned in his own stomach.

She allowed herself to know only oblivion, and convinced herself that he wasn't there, for who could love such an empty, broken mess.

When Lily woke up the next morning in James' bed, the only unusual thing she initially noticed about the morning was the hangover; with gritty eyes, a ringing headache, and what felt like a throat made of sandpaper, she shuddered and tried to hide her face from the light peeking through the curtains into James' bare chest.

 _Wait._

 _Bare chest?_

Lily jumped up, staring at a sleeping and half naked James. Her eyes wide, Lily felt her stomach rebelling over the butterflies that were mixing with whatever alcohol survived the purging the night before. She was unable to turn her eyes away from his chest, which was glowing in the sunlight; the perfection only served to piss her off.

While Mr. and Mrs. Potter were still unaware of their sleeping arrangements, the two teens had always been decently clothed when they shared a bed; with returning to a family setting for the summer and thusly being reminded on a daily basis that she herself didn't have one anymore, the nightmares had returned full force. Lily had gone a week of crawling in with James at two in the morning before giving up entirely and just crawling in with him straight away; and though she always managed to pull on shorts under her usual baggy shirt before crawling in with James, she had always worried that one night she'd forget and it'd cause an argument, or at the very least, an extremely awkward situation.

 _Well_. She thought, huffing quietly. _If he doesn't have to wear a shirt to bed, I don't have to wear my shorts anymore. I absolutely hate the waistbands, but I suffered through! And he doesn't have the decency to do it too? If Mrs. Potter grounds us, I'll kill him._ With that, Lily sent one final glare to the scantily-clad teenage boy, before retreating to her room to mess up her bed and then remake it, before getting dressed and downing a _Pepper Up_ Potion to relieve her hangover. She was downstairs cracking eyes before James even opened his groggy eyes, feeling cold at the lack of body heat.

When he noticed his own state of undress, caused most undoubtedly by his drunken state before bed, he watched as a blush spread across his face and chest, before realising with horror just what Lily must think of him.

His day passed in pained, awkward silence, when she tried valiantly to avoid any and all situations that would force them to be alone, though it wasn't until the afternoon that he even realized she was doing so.

When he went to bed, curling up beside an already sleeping Lily, he froze as she rolled over and used his chest once more as a pillow, thrusting her leg to wrap around his hips. Her _unclothed, bare, and impossibly long_ , leg.

Quickly throwing off his own shirt before he got too comfortable, he pushed aside any doubts, fear, worry, confusion, and joy to deal with tomorrow, and instead let his hand rest on her knee, feeling her breath ghost over his heart.


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: While the plot is mine, everything else has been borrowed until further notice.**

 **Chapter 37**

 _There comes a time, when talking about one's sorrows doesn't help._

 _Your heart has been bled dry, your tears shed, and your voice broken._

 _You go about your day, your walls up, mouth closed, and heart hidden, trying desperately to pretend that you're normal, whole, unblemished._

 _That you aren't broken._

 _That you aren't fighting tears on a daily basis, that you aren't continuously holding back your sobs, to the point that you've had to learn how to breathe –how to function –when your chest is constricting so hard it hurts._

 _You hide the fact that some nights, when you can't run any more from the horrors in your head, you feel yourself break all over again._

 _You break, and you're unsure if you'll ever be whole again._

* * *

As July passed, Lily's freckles settled down and her tan evened out, returning her her once-again porcelain skin, only with a slightly golden hue. While James and Marlene had managed to convince Dorcas to leave her current boyfriend alone for a few days to come over and practice their Quidditch plays until they _literally_ fell out of the sky, Sirius and Lily ran through attack after attack. Soon enough, James appeared to be on a cloud, what with how dreamily he went through his days. Determined to win the Quidditch Cup for his last year, his confidence in his team had skyrocketed within a very short period of time.

It was on one bright, sunny morning on the second week in August that found the teens nursing their caffeine and trying to blearily blink away the late night exhaustion, evident in James' hair looking no better than a bird' nest, and Lily's sloppily pulled back into a messy knot at the top of her head; Sirius' looked exactly the same against all odds, defying all logic and serving to piss a grouchy Lily off even more. While barely coherent, James looked over at Lily and let out an indignant squawk.

'Oi! That's my jumper!'

'Your powers of observation astound me, Potter.' Lily grumbled, swallowing another mouthful of coffee, still moving groggily.

'Sod off, Lily.' James grouched, hiding a small smile in his mug.

'You know, Prongs, some people find that wearing glasses help with their vision.' Sirius said, stuffing a bite of eggs into his mouth, smirking as James glared.

'You can join Evans in that sodding off, Padfoot.' James flipped him the bird just as three owls came through the open window, each with a letter possessing the Hogwarts seal attached.

'Talk about birds,' Sirius muttered, just as Mrs. Potter came into the kitchen.

'I was wondering when they'd be coming,' Mrs. Potter said, 'If you want to owl your friends to come, I expect we'll be going to Diagon Alley next Saturday. Alright, I'm off to work. Dad and I should be home for supper, kids.' As she kissed each one on the top of their heads, Lily fought down her blush, but allowed the small smile to grace her face.

That smile had disappeared, leaving her mouth gaping open, as soon as she opened her letter, a golden badge falling into her lap. A golden badge with the letters HG and the form of a lion covering its front.

'Looks like we'll have to spend the year hiding from Head Girl Lils now, Prongs.' Sirius said, a sullen expression gracing his face, his eyes twinkling revealing their mirth. 'Of course it's her though, who else could it have been? Dumbledore doesn't know half of all the things she's done, so he'd never even think of anyone but Little Miss Prefect Evans becoming Head Girl.' He had already gathered Lily up in a congratulatory hug before realizing that James had yet to make a comment. 'Prongs?'

When James could still only gape into his lap, Sirius wandered over to his friend. When he picked up the matching badge to Lily's Head Girl, he broke out in laughter, his entire form shaking.

'Is that what I think it is?' Lily asked faintly, wide eyed as she stared at a dumbfounded James.

'Is Dumbledore insane? I'm so sorry, Lily, so sorry, I-I'll ask him to give it to someone else, don't worry. What was he thinking?' James said, shaking his head rapidly, throwing the badge down onto the table and backing away from it, as well as the letter that still held his Quidditch Captain Badge.

'What! Why?' She demanded, stunned. She walked over to him and forced him to meet her confused eyes, noting the panic within his own.

'Why? What do you mean, why? I'm James Potter; I've never been responsible a day in my life, I hex everyone that annoys me just because I can, I've had more detentions in a month than you've had all year.' James said, pacing around the table. 'I've got to owl Dumbledore, I'll be back.' Grabbing his Head Boy badge, James hurried out of the kitchen and up to his room, oblivious to Lily chasing after him.

* * *

' _JAMES CHARLUS POTTER_! What in the bloody hell do you mean by asking Dumbledore to give the badge to someone else?' As Lily came shrieking into his room, she marched right up into his face, poking him in the chest with each word and continuously stepping closer to the retreating brunette. 'You will do no such thing, Potter!' She shouted.

'Ah, c'mon Evans, you don't really want me to be Head boy; I'd be pants at it and you know it.' James muttered, frowning as he ruffled through the parchments scattered across his desk in his search for a blank piece and a quill.

'Do you really believe that, James?' Lily asked, walking up to him and resting a hand on his arm, peering closely at his face, anger fading into concern. 'Do you really believe I think so little of you?' She whispered, the hurt reflecting in her eyes. He turned away from her, breaking eye contact and hunching his shoulders.

'I don't know, Evans. I guess. I can't say I blame you; I'm not Remus. Oi!' He shouted, spinning around after feeling Lily smack him on the shoulder – _hard_ –before throwing her arms over his shoulders and pulling him down towards her into a tight hug. She felt his arms wrap around her after a moment, his large hands covering most of her upper back, and burrowed her face into the crook of his neck, letting him nuzzle her hair and forehead; she didn't know if she'd imagined it or not, but she could've sworn she felt his lips trail over her forehead, and she nestled closer to him, tightening her grip, on the off chance that it hadn't been her imagination.

'You listen to me, James Potter, and you listen good,' she whispered fiercely into his ear, 'You are an amazing person; you are so smart, and generous, and kind, and brave, and funny, and _good_ , and I will beat you until you are black and blue if you _ever_ say otherwise. You took Sirius and I in when we had nowhere else to go, you had the idea to become animagi for Remus, and anyone who's ever seen you at Quidditch practice knows that you're an amazing leader, and I am so, _so_ proud of you.'

She felt him move to interrupt her, and she squeezed him tighter before continuing speaking, without giving him a chance to utter a word in protest.

'The younger years look up to you, and you've stopped hexing people. You know Remus would've never been able to do it, he's absent every month for a reason; it'd put him too much in the limelight for it; and frankly, as long as it wasn't Snape, I would've been okay with _whoever_ Dumbledore chose. But the fact that it's _you_ , makes me so happy, and excited for this year, it's unreal. I am so proud of you, James Potter, please tell me that you believe me so I don't need to smack you.' She felt his reluctant nod into her hair as he pulled her tighter against him, her entire body now pressed along his, and she closed her eyes, determined to enjoy the moment while it lasted.

* * *

When Mr. and Mrs. Potter returned home that night, they had taken one look at the partially concealed badge – Lily and Sirius wouldn't have any of James' shit and refused to let him get away with hiding it until September 2nd – and had been unable to stop their tears, refusing to attempt to restrain themselves from hugging an embarrassed James. The furiously blushing teen had just begun to reciprocate the hug when he felt his father's should begin to shake. When Mr. Potter pulled away from the hug, his face was red from attempting to muffle his laughter, before giving in and laughing loudly –and for slightly too long, according to a self-conscious James – and calling the other two teens downstairs. When Sirius frog-marched a blushing Lily down the stairs and brought her in front of the Potters, both elderly Potters could not restrain their laughter as he pointed to her and said, 'Head Girl.', before heading into the kitchen, and as far away from the gushing and hugging as he could.

Sending pointed looks to one another, the Head Boy and Girl of 1917 led the new Heads to the kitchen, hopeful that the longstanding tradition of the Head Students marrying one another would continue on.

* * *

The morning of September first brought in a torrent of insanity, where alarms failed to sound, trunks needed to be hastily re-packed, and transportation to Kings Cross arranged. After deciding on Apparating, since everyone already possessed their licence, a very dishevelled group of five arrived onto Platform 9 ¾ to await the train's departure.

When the final bell rang, Mrs. Potter insisted on one final round of hugs before her three teens boarded.

While Mr. Potter gave Lily a salute before a hug, much to everyone's amusement, Mrs. Potter drew James in close for a tight hug and whispered, 'She'll make a fine addition to the family, James. I'm proud of you,' before she turned her attentions onto Sirius, insisting upon straightening his collar and wiping his face, much to his own protests.

'Come on, Mum! The train's leaving!' He insisted loudly, before hugging her tightly and whispering, for her ears only, 'Thank you for everything, Mum, I'll miss you. See you soon.'

With a teary sniffle, Mrs. Potter waved them all onto the train, Mr. Potter's one arm around her waist, and the other raised in farewell. When the train pulled away, they left the train station with a _crack_ , and made their way to their empty house, where the silence was both deafening and empty.

* * *

The train ride to Hogwarts passed similarly to the one from the previous year, once James, Lily, and Remus returned from the Prefect meeting; while the meeting contained the usual information given by the Heads, there was a lot of antagonism from the Slytherin Prefects towards both James and especially Lily. While Bellatrix may have graduated, it seemed as if she imposed most of her beliefs and feuds upon the rest of her Housemates before she departed; aside from Snape, who ignored Lily and brought hostile to a whole new meaning, reserving it solely for James.

After having returned, however, things soon settled down as the Marauders finalized the details for their prank and everyone caught each other up about their summers. Soon enough, Lily fell asleep, once more in the lap of James, this time muttering about poisonous snakes and valiant pottery.

* * *

While all the students got off the train, many were in a haste to arrange their cloaks so as to shield them as much as possible from the frigid rain pouring from the skies, desperate to hurry into the carriages.

In fact, their haste was so great that they didn't notice when the rain seemed to stop.

It wasn't until they'd all gathered in the Great Hall, just as the Sorting was finished and the food had yet to arrive, that they realized, with resounding horror, that all the rain that _hadn't_ fallen on them, was all pooled above them.

And then suddenly, it fell.

* * *

It took a few minutes for everyone to settle down – and dry off – after the prank, but once the swooping drying charms over the population of the Great Hall – the Marauders found it amusing to note that McGonagall resembled a drowned cat even in human form when wet – were cast by Dumbledore, and the Marauder's Seventh Year officially began, the teens welcomed it with open arms as they initiated the traditional food fight.

Feeling rather emotional about the whole ordeal, Sirius felt that he needed to make a bigger spectacle out of it than normal. Standing up proudly on the Gryffindor bench, he declared to the entire Great Hall, 'My dear Hogwartians, I find myself quite honoured at the thought of starting the traditional food fight this evening; I am so delighted that, should James feel the need to take points from me now, as Head Boy, it will still be worth it.'

Sniffling loudly, the remaining three Marauders each stood on the benches and, as one, all four took a moment to fake sob, the laughter of the rest of the students echoing in their ears. Noticing that the Head of Gryffindor was beginning to rise however, Sirius knew that they had to be quick about it. Grinning around at the students with a bowl of mashed potatoes in his hands, he called, 'And now, let us initiate the new year by welcoming our beloved Head Girl.'

While Lily attempted to flee, Sirius managed to dump the bowl on her head, falling down off of the bench in the process.

While she retaliated, it was slightly more than Sirius hoped for; as she tackled him to the floor, she dumped an entire platter of cranberry sauce on his head and poured gravy down his pants.

While the food fight was a success, twenty points were deducted from Gryffindor, mainly due to the fact that McGonagall got hit with a platter of corn, and although many claimed to have seen the Headmaster be the one to launch it at her, neither Professor acknowledged the rumours.

* * *

Once the Prefects led the students to their respective dorms', the Head students remained behind in the Great Hall with Dumbledore. With only the twinkling of his eyes and a tilt of his head as indication to follow, he led them from the Great Hall and up onto the Seventh Floor, diverging at the staircases into the corridor opposite the one that would lead them to Gryffindor Tower.

When he stood before a portrait of a flirtatious woman well into her drink, he turned towards James and Lily slightly sheepishly.

'In Marie-Eve's defense, I had not forewarned her that the two Head Students were both Gryffindors, thus would be occupying these specific set of rooms.' With a wave of his hand, Marie-Eve let forth a loud giggle, seeming to be entirely unapologetic, as the portrait opened, and allowed them entrance into what seemed to be the Gryffindor Common Room, if only more small and luxurious.

The entire room was carpeted in a thick, dark burgundy rug, with a huge stone fireplace that was already lit set in the middle of the wall to the right of the entrance, a brown loveseat directly facing it, and framed by two matching chairs on either side. Two cherry wood desks, matching the coffee table in front of the fire, were on the opposite wall, bordered on either side by as many bookshelves as windows, allowing for plenty of natural light into the room in daylight hours.

Directly opposed to the entrance was a large, sweeping staircase, that led to a balcony-style open floor on the upper level, where another set of couches were set up, along with two doors facing one another. Everything was done in Gryffindor colours, though not quite as vibrant as what the Common Room featured, leaving many shadows and an intimate feeling about the air.

As professor Dumbledore continued, Lily tried to close her gaping mouth. 'The normal Head Quarters are not quite so… House-specific in colours, though each House has its own set of rooms, should a time come when both Heads are from one House. These rooms have not been used in almost twenty years, in fact, since that was the last year that both Heads were Gryffindors. You may set a password with Marie-Eve to whatever you feel like it, though both of you need to be present to do so. Lily, your room is on the right-hand side, James, yours is on the left. You'll find a shared bathroom between the two as well, that includes double sinks, as well as a separate bath and shower. There is a powder room just on the other side of that far bookcase, and you'll often find that should you be so inclined to state a beverage when standing in front of the fire, it might just appear, provided the House Elves aren't too busy. I know myself, that a warm butterbeer helps tremendously when having to work through the night due to an immense amount of paperwork.' As Dumbledore's eyes began twinkling in earnest, James guffawed in surprise and delight. 'I think I'll leave you two to get settled in, but I was hoping that you'd be able to meet with me tomorrow night after supper, to go over all of your duties before term starts in earnest. Excellent. Have a good evening, Mr. Potter, Miss Evans.' As he bid them goodnight, Lily almost could've sworn that his twinkling eyes starting shining, what with how much the sparkle seamed to increase.

* * *

By the end of the first month of school, many of the summer flings between students had already come to an end; the overdramatic proclamations of screeching Howlers apologizing seemed to be forever ringing throughout the Great Hall. While some reacted poorly, it was a long-standing Hogwarts tradition for the students to break up overdramatically the first month back by Howler; the laughter and jokes between the previous couples were shared across the Hall, as accusations of infidelity with the start of term's treacle tart were declared.

The laughter could still be seen in the Seventh Years as they gathered in their respective Head of House's classroom, waiting for each to be called for their Careers Advice check in, to make sure they were on the right track and see what grades they'd need to achieve on their NEWTS to succeed.

While Sirius remembered that he had told Professor McGonagall in fifth year that he'd like to become an Auror (mainly due to the fact that he could freely curse his relatives without being sent to Azkaban for it), he knew things had changed.

His Great Uncle Alphard had passed on apparently just shortly before the summer began, and no one saw fit to inform him; it had taken an owl from Gringotts the first morning back at Hogwarts to notify him that the family's protests had finally been silenced, and stating that his apparent inheritance from his favourite Uncle would be set aside in a vault for Sirius' use only, along with the key sequestered away in the letter. The vast amount of gold meant that he wouldn't have to worry about supporting himself for many years, more than enough to get himself settled after Hogwarts with a job, though it wasn't until after having spent the entire week in a state of constant anguish and rage that he was able to process that.

However, he knew that a job wouldn't exactly be easy to acquire, aside from joining the Aurors; no one was looking to hire, and finding trust between even two friends became scarce. And though the Aurors would be hiring, they were far too bureaucratic when it came to fighting in a war, leaving it to the hierarchal positions to determine whether it was wise to send out a team to fight or not; their response time was limited, and the training spent far too much time instructing in the laws rather than duelling techniques for it not to feel like a waste of time.

Sirius also knew that he wasn't the only one who felt that way; he understood that while she'd been dreaming of becoming a Healer since first year, Lily was going to be asking McGonagall if it were possible to cover more practical offensive and defensive techniques in Transfiguration, that Marlene was hoping that Defence Against The Dark Arts would include more hexes, as well as combative healing spells, and that Remus was hoping to cover more battle tactics in History of Magic. While he never knew that McGonagall agreed wholeheartedly, he began to wonder when Hogwarts had begun to train children to become soldiers, rather than just competent wizards.

He mourned the loss of his childhood, even as he tried to make sure that he'd survive into adulthood.


	38. Chapter 38

**I'm really sorry you guys, things have been unbelievably busy lately! I hope this longish chapter makes it up to you! For the record, if anyone misses it, it does skip to December. Also, in my rush to post this, it has currently only been semi-reviewed, so if you find any typos or that, I'd really appreciate you leave a review - you don't even need to spot a type to leave one! It's a glorious thing, isn't it? REVIEW pretty please?  
**

 **Disclaimer: Don't sue me, I can't afford it. Everything goes to the Queen herself, JKR.**

 **Chapter 38**

 _Smiling felt nearly impossible._

 _It felt like a mask, painted on, one where anyone only had to look close enough to see the cracks. The energy it took to make people believe she was okay was exhausting. Her life was exhausting._

 _Every day only amplified her feelings of emptiness, of hopelessness, of pain and suffering, because it reminded her of what she was supposed to be feeling; but faking a smile was so much easier than explaining why she was sad, empty, despairing._

 _It made her feel like a fraud._

 _But her silence was just another word for her pain, and it left too many opportunities to be filled with her thoughts and her distorted memories._

 _And so she put on her smile, and she went about her day._

 _She may want to be happy, may wish her smile wasn't merely a façade, but, in the darkest corner of her mind – the darkest place she knew of, and the thing that scared her the most –she couldn't help but listen to the voice whispering to her._

 _You don't deserve it._

 _You don't deserve compassion, attention, love._

 _You're just pathetic and weak and a waste of space._

 _You are nothing._

 _She felt incomplete most days, and it took her awhile to realize that the thing she felt like she lost, was herself._

 _So yes, she may be smiling, but don't let that fool you; one only had to look upon her when she thought no one else was around to know that she was breaking inside._

 _And it hurts, but it's okay –she's used to it._

* * *

While James and Lily gradually became accustomed to the new routine of Head Duties as October, and finally November passed, her body mourned the loss of sleep; while patrolling with James well into the early mornings gave them time to spend solely with one another (and the opportunity was rather awash with unsubtle physical contact and unwanted blushing), the loss of sleep left them landing in a tangled heap on the bed in the evening and unwilling to detangle themselves from each other at sunrise. Lily couldn't count the times where she merely buried her head into James' chest and refused to move, leading to him picking her up and carrying her into the bathroom, dropping her in the shower and blasting cold water, before leaving to the sound of her colourful cursing.

Her revenge kept becoming more painful than what he'd been expecting, and so he quickly found another way to wake her up; _coffee_.

 _Thank Merlin for the House Elves_. James thought, groaning as he meandered into the oddly sweet-scented lavatory to brush his teeth. It had been another late night patrolling, but thankfully it was a Friday, and since both Heads had a free period first thing, they decided to skip breakfast and just sleep.

As James started brushing his teeth, he looked up into the surprisingly foggy mirror. He stared in confusion at it for a moment, until the sound of water slashing against the tub reached his ears, as well as a squawk of surprise.

James stood frozen, gaping at the sight of Lily, submerged in bubbles and hot water, with steam rising and swirling around her head and a misty-eyed gaze. Deep, dark red hair piled above her head in curls, with the odd coil framing her flushed face – James wondered absently if it was because of the temperature of the water or embarrassment – and her arms resting on the ledge of the bath, fingers dripping water absently down onto the floor. James audibly gulped at the sight of how her feet, which were propped over the ledge of the bath and crossed at the ankles, ran into her ankles, that ran into her shins, that ran down into the foamy water, the sensual image of her creamy smoothness of her legs intense behind even his closed eyelids.

His glasses fogging up had absolutely nothing to do with the temperature of the room, of that he was certain.

As Lily tried to hide more of her gleaming chest –thankfully most of it had already been submerged, otherwise James would've fainted on sight –she shrieked a greeting, 'James! _Sodding hell_! Knock next time, would you?'

James could do nothing more than bolt out of the room, throwing his toothbrush out of his mouth and into the room, praying it at least avoided the toilet.

As James found it ironic that he was now very much in need of an extremely cold shower, he swore he could hear a tinkling laugh that only made him groan louder.

* * *

While James wanted to die of mortification, Lily refused to let him avoid her, and instead pretended as if the _incident_ had never occurred. It was that very reason that the two Heads were huddled over a cauldron in Potions class, trying to prepare Amortentia, the strongest love potion to exist, with Lily trying not to snap at their excitable professor. A Slug Club Christmas party had just been announced, despite the fact that Christmas itself was still little less than three weeks away.

'In honour of Damocles Belby, more like,' Lily harrumphed into her cauldron, growling at what she could predict the outcome of the party to be; everyone praising Belby for _taming the beast_ , for _neutralising the monster_ , and whining about how if only the Wolfsbane potion could _kill the werewolf_ as well. Ever since his publication of the Wolfsbane potion not long ago, Belby had sworn that he'd try to continue modifying the potion to, if not remove the Lycanthropy all together, at least kill the beast lest he wreak havoc upon unsuspecting villagers. Needless to say, Lily and the rest of the Marauders were understandably infuriated.

'What's that, Miss Evans?' Slughorn questioned loudly from the front of the classroom, inspecting a tray of crystallized pineapple.

'Oh, nothing Professor, just warning James not to add the pearl dust before the ashwinder eggs.' Lily blushed slightly, kicking James' leg under the table before he could properly protest.

'Very good, Miss Evans. As you know, the pearl dust would only negate the ashwinder eggs, leaving the potion dangerously unstable, and yet almost undetectable in its inaccuracy; it would still smell like the things a person would find most attractive, however, should merely one drop drip onto the tongue, the drinker would find themselves in an eternal sleep. You'll be attending the party, won't you, Miss Evans? It'd be wonderful if both Heads were in attendance, and Merlin knows you're the only one able to charm Mr. Potter into doing anything.'

'I'll do my best, Professor. Out of curiosity, would Damocles Belby be attending?' Lily asked, blinking her big, wide eyes innocently. She kicked James' leg once more, as punishment for the snort he let escape at her tone.

'Oh! Why, I hadn't even thought of – oh, I don't see the harm in an invitation, it'll be grand to see him once again!' As Slughorn began muttering to himself, Lily returned her focus to a grimacing James, who was rubbing his calf under the table.

'Merlin, Evans, did you have to kick so _hard_?' He grumbled before stirring the potion according to the instructions, noting that they were nearly done.

'Oh shut it, you know you deserved it.' Lily had packed up their ingredients and began comparing their potion with the description in the textbook, when she sniffed slightly and complained, 'You know, Potter, I get that you didn't get to have a shower this morning, but _really_! You could've laid off the cologne a little bit! That's all I'll be able to smell all weekend.' Lily exclaimed loudly.

'Coming from the girl that left the bathroom a bloody rose scented cloud? It's all I can smell!' James demanded, pointedly _not looking_ at her as his mind flashed back to that morning tauntingly.

As they continued arguing back and forth about whose sent was stronger, they were completely oblivious to the rest of the classroom – the entirety of which had their undivided attention focused on the two utter _morons_ that they had for Head Students.

Marlene still wanted to strangle the both of them, and the only thing keeping her in her seat was the tight grip Sirius had on her hand. She ducked her head to hide a blush, insisting it was merely caused by annoyed frustration.

* * *

'Merlin's left saggy – _Lily_!' Marlene growled, her hands clenching into fists. 'Would you just _bloody_ open your _bloody_ eyes and look at the _bloody_ boy! He's completely mad for you! What are you on about, wondering if he fancies you?'

'Don't give me that, Marls, you know he never actually fancied me,' The petite redhead frowned, her forehead crinkling in muted despair. 'I was the only girl not wooed by him, his pride couldn't stand for it.' She scoffed, discreetly wiping at a stray tear that had escaped. _Oh, if only James knew the irony of the situation_ , she thought crossly. 'He's changed, he doesn't care so much about all the attention anymore, so he doesn't need me to fancy him too; he's over it – over me.'

When Lily made eye contact with Marlene, her big, watery, doe eyes were shinning a brilliant emerald green, and Marlene felt a hopeless desperation to wipe the misery lining Lily's face from her friend's countenance.

'Just because he's become more subtle doesn't mean he isn't still completely mad about you. You should see the way he looks at you when you aren't looking.' She murmured softly, her irascibility disappearing.

'Bet you that was before my parents' deaths. I'm broken now, he won't want me. Bloody hell, I moved in with him! He probably thinks I'm like his sister now, or at the very least, one of the guys. He saw me _in the bath_ and was only embarrassed…' Lily growled and angrily yanked her hair out of her pony tail, running her hands through and yanking on the dark red locks.

'What, you thought he'd try to shag you right then? _Lily,_ – ' Marlene groaned, unsure how to explain to her emotionally-dense best friend that James _always_ wants to shag her, but Lily just didn't know it.

'Of course not! But I _certainly_ didn't expect him to run away like hell hounds were on him. How plainer of a rejection can a girl get?'

'Or maybe he ran away to maintain a tiny amount of restraint, so that he wouldn't try to shag you right then.' Marlene snorted when Lily blushed, frowning when she could see the protestation already forming on her friend's tongue. 'Fine! Fine, I give, Lils. Don't ask him to Hogsmeade. Buy him his Christmas gift and spend all break pining over him. But I swear; if you end up in your forties alone aside from your twenty cats, I'm never visiting you.' She turned on her heel and left Lily alone to go find Sirius, hoping he'd have had better look convincing his half of the Head Students to ask the other to Hogsmeade.

She'd strangle everyone in Hogwarts if they didn't get James and Lily together soon.

* * *

' _Pruning Petunias_.' James grumbled Lily's chosen password of the week over Sirius' chatter, leading the rest of the Marauders into the Heads' Common Room.

'Don't see what McKinnon sees in the bloke, you'd think after so many long study sessions in the library she'd realize that for a Ravenclaw, Fletcher doesn't have two brain cells to rub together.' Sirius grumbled, slumping into an armchair.

'Padfoot, you do know that they're working on McGonagall's Transfiguration project together, right? She's been wanting to stab him in the leg since last Tuesday.' Remus chortled, whacking him behind the head as he made his way over to sit on the loveseat. 'Besides, why don't you just ask her to Hogsmeade if you're so interested in who she sees late at night in the library, hm?' When Sirius merely faked deafness, Remus and the other Marauders could only laugh.

'What about you, Prongs? Are you going to ask Evans to Hogsmeade?'

'It's funny, Moony; it's almost like you want me to get hexed.'

'Oh please, all that you'd be doing is letting her know you're still interested. She might say yes, you know; besides, would you rather ask her yourself, or have some other bloke do it?' Remus asked, turning to James and propping his feet up on the coffee table.

'Of course I don't, but my opinion isn't what matters; _Lily might_. She might fancy someone else, might want to go with them, and as her friend, _I have to let her_.' James grimaced, running his hands through his hair as his lips pursed.

'Fine, whatever you say, Prongs. Just try to keep the sulking to a minimal if she does end up going with someone else – for our sakes, if not for your pride; Merlin knows you don't have a lot left.'

'I thought we wanted James to ask Lily, Moony?' Peter asked, lifting his head from his sketchbook, ink splattering his nose faintly.

'James wants Lily to feel the same way about him as he does for her,' Sirius said abruptly, turning his face away from the fire. 'But he doesn't want to upset her or scare her off by telling her how he feels. So he doesn't do anything, and is just waiting to see what happens next instead.' When nothing but suspicious and knowing silence met his ears, Sirius got up with a huff and retreated to the Gryffindor Common Room, finding escape ensconced between the fireplace and Marlene, allowing her conversation to carry his mind away and bring a smile upon his face.

* * *

'And Turner passes to Carmichael who passes to Thompson who – drops it. See folks, this is what happens when none of the chasers are speaking to one another. The only details I have on that, was the existence a rumour where a bottle of Firewhiskey and somebody's girlfriend were involved, so if anyone has anymore information for me, I'd be honoured – no no, Pofessor, background information, you know. I'll keep the microphone, thank you.' Marcus Steeling announced to the stadium, dancing out of reach from Professor McGonagall, 'And James Potter, the brilliant Gryffindor Captain and Head Boy swoops down under them to rescue the quaffle, avoiding a Bludger by allowing Lily Evans, legendary Beater and Head Girl to swoop in and knock it towards the Ravenclaw Seeker, who, it seemed, had just begun to go into a dive. With the Snitch lost, Sanders of Gryffindor and Anderson of Ravenclaw recommence their search for the elusive snitch.

'Potter approaches the Ravenclaw goals, passing back and forth between Meadowes, once, twice, _three_ times before aiming at the posts and – he scores! Twenty to zero for gryffindor! Come on, seekers, we're all freezing our bollocks off, lets hurry it up out here so that we can all head in to get warm, shall we?'

As the freezing wind coursed through the stands, it almost seemed as if all of the warm cloaks, hands, mittens, and scarves had no effect on the freezing temperature of the December afternoon. Lily's face was crimson from the wind with her lips and fingers blue from the cold, and no one else was faring all that much better.

And though the Slug Club party was that evening, Lily really wished she was there, instead of freezing her arse off on a broomstick. It was only when Sanders caught the snitch thirty minutes later that she wished the game would've gone on longer.

* * *

'Come on, Lils. Hogsmeade's tomorrow, we can sleep in a little bit longer before heading down to the village – unless you have plans, of course?' James spluttered, his insides twisting as he coerced the grumbling redhead out of the Portrait Hole and towards the dungeons.

'No, of course I want to sleep and then head down with you, but I just hate all of the brown-nosing that goes on during these things.' She groused, walking along beside him. Not long afterwards had them approaching Slughorn's office, which was heavily decorated for the event.

The ceiling and walls had been draped with silver, crimson and indigo hangings, so that it looked as though they were all inside a vast tent. The room was crowded and stuffy and bathed in the golden light cast by an ornate lamp dangling from the centre of the ceiling in which real fairies were fluttering, each a brilliant speck of light. Loud singing accompanied by what sounded like mandolins issued from a distant corner; a haze of pipe smoke hung over several elderly witches deep in conversation, and a number of house-elves were negotiating their way squeakily through the forest of knees, obscured by the heavy silver platters of food they were bearing, so that they looked like little roving tables.

Lily groaned before slipping a small, polite smile on her face, gripped James' biceps tightly in her grasp, coincidentally pulling him slightly closer to her, and stepped into the room.

While she drank a fair amount, she drank very little while in attendance of the party, saving a smuggled bottle for her and James to share later that evening in the Heads Dorms.

It was all because of that bottle that they had an extremely rough morning before heading to Hogsmeade; as it dawned, Lily and James were of the unanimous decision that it was much too bright, and there wasn't enough coffee in all of Hogwarts to satisfy the two of them. Bleary eyed, they both groused while getting dressed and searching for Hangover potions.

'Sodding hell, those potions are shite.' Lily swore, wiping her mouth as she knelt next to the toilet.

'You know how they work, Evans,' James said, his words muffled as he brushed his teeth. 'They get rid of all of the alcohol – doesn't mean its pleasant.'

'Still, they don't have to taste so disgusting. Just a taste and you'd want to be sick regardless.' Grumbling, the redhead made her way into her room to get changed, shedding the baggy shirt she used as pyjamas along the way.

James laughed as she emerged a short while later, still grumbling and running her tongue along her teeth. 'Lets go, Evans. You can wash down the taste with a butterbeer.'

'Whatever, Potter. Just get me out of the cold quickly before I hex your bollocks off.' She grouched, fastening her scarf around her neck before linking her arm with his, as they left the castle together.

'Oi! You're the one who needs to get all her Christmas gifts! I already got mine with the boys, I'm just along for the ride.' James said, pulling her closer to him as he saw her shiver out of the corner of his eye.

'You broke school rules and most likely went while I was tutoring Lewis. I emptied Remus out of his chocolate stash that night; I needed a chocolate frog every time I had to point out ' _magic'_ was not spelt with a ' _k'_. _He's in fifth year,_ James _!_ ' Lily groaned, burrowing her face in as much of her scarf as she could. It was only as they were meandering down the main road that they heard what sounded like thunder, only it sounded rather odd.

While it wasn't thunder, it was something much worse.

It was the sound of what seemed like an army of Death Eaters apparating into the town at the same time, soon followed by the sounds of the blood curling shrieks of the panicking and terrified.


	39. Chapter 39

**Really short chapter, but only because its more of a part one than anything. The next chapter is already in the works, if that's any consolation.**

 **Reviews are always welcome!**

 **Disclaimer: My blonde hair comes from a box.**

 **Chapter 39**

 _The scent of Christmas can quite often be felt in the December air. The smell of stale decorations being extracted from the basement, of pine invading the houses, of fresh baking, freshly fallen snow, and the stale perfume worn by some distant great-aunt entwining itself in your nostrils._

 _While altogether it is not a very pleasant combination, the scent is reminiscent of Christmas' past, of childhood filled with humour and love, and of a time without worries. The decorations unearthed that seemed to have never changed now show many signs of wear and tear; the tree that used to be indefinite to you now has a distinct peak; the never ending baking now leaves you completely uninterested in anything that has any more than a tablespoon of sugar in it._

 _The difference is not with the scents, the decorations, nor the baking. The stale perfume that refuses to permit you to smell anything else long after the decorations are packed away hasn't, and will most likely never, change._

 _No, the only difference, from one Christmas to the next, is you._

 _It is your perspective, the way your memories distort your past, the way your childish naivety permeates in everything you recall. When these things fail to live up to expectations, there is a definite disenchantment as to the magic of the holidays._

 _Instead, you are left, alone with your memories and the phantom scents, with a definite feeling of abandonment permeating in the frigid air._

 _Until you find love._

 _Until you find someone, and it's like there's an audible click, where you just compliment each other._

 _Where you want to surround yourself with them, burry yourself in their scent, rather than the horrid perfume, and bake so many different pastries that you could never hope to grow tired of them. Where decorating a tree is enchanting, and seeing the way the snowflakes land in their hair brings out the dimple in your cheek that only appears when you smile hard enough._

 _Love itself may creep up upon you, may startle you, but it's hinted at by another emotion._

 _Hope._

 _Hope for a future, hope for happiness and companionship. For understanding and trust, and complete openness._

 _Hope that life may turn out to not be so bad after all, but rather an adventure that leads to the next._

 _If one only has hope…everything becomes imaginable._

* * *

When the sounds of apparition rang out on the cobbled streets of Hogsmeade, the Prefects were extremely thankful that James Potter and Lily Evans were that year's Head Boy and Girl, if only because of James' determination and Lily's protectiveness.

While the Prefects had spent hours groaning to the Head Students, they were still submitted to hours upon hours of gruelling practices where they had to protect a squadron of supposed students from assault, in the supposedly unlikely event that the school came under attack.

 _Supposedly_ , apparently, was much more frequent than everyone had hoped.

All the Prefects were to break off into pairs and split up, trying to gather as many students into a group as possible and lead them back to the school. The older students would form rings around the younger ones and be prepared for the likely scenario of them having to duel their way to safety. Lily and James would already have called for Misa, the Head House Elf's, help, who'd then send as many elves as possible to bring lone students back to the castle before coming back to assist the groups, until finally all the students were sequestered away within the ancient walls.

However, things rarely go according to plan, and reality is often much messier than imagined.

The chaos rained over the students, mania and panic disrupting the overwhelmed Prefects' attempts to organize all the students despite their own fears. While James himself was trying to gather students, he noticed two fifth year Prefects running about themselves in a panic, able to offer no more assistance than a regular student. He began duelling two Death Eaters, hoping to distract them from the two hidden fourth year students behind him, when he heard them start screaming and gurgling. It was with dreaded clarity that James realized that there were more Death Eaters than what they were prepared for.

 _You can plan all you want, but it never makes a difference: once you show up, all hell breaks loose – and that is what you must be prepared to deal with: the chaos and the panic._

While that was Fleamont's favourite saying, James had never appreciated it more than at that moment. Determined to do his best in a war that he never had any choice but to fight in, he threw himself into the throng of destructive Death Eaters and begun duelling.

It was only a short while later, as Misa and other Elves had already begun disappearing with students, that he was duelling four enraged Death Eaters; the diminishing students hadn't gone unnoticed, only serving to enrage the Death Eaters further. He had just returned a hex that downed two of his opponents when pain exploded across his entire body and time seemed to slow, an image of Lily forming in his mind. He fell back, eyes closed and focusing on the image of the redhead that was forever burned into the back of his eyelids, as he let reality fade into the depths of his mind.

* * *

Earlier that morning when Lily woke up, it was to a mess of black hair covering her face, an arm draped across her back, pinning her to his chest, and soft breath ghosting over her forehead.

And it was the most beautiful morning that she had ever had in a long, long time.

There was no death looming over her door, no Petunia to stomp on her and insult and berate her, there was only the tangled blankets and bare chest underneath her.

All that existed… was sunshine setting fire to her hair and James' face so close to hers, peaceful and eyes closed, James' steady heartbeat underneath her palm and his arms around her.

That was how Lily finally recognized how deep her feelings for James went...

That was how Lily Evans realized that she was in love with James Potter.

* * *

' _Crucio_!' Lily ducked behind an overturned bench as the flash of light passed overhead, and tried to catch her breath. While not entirely surprised about the reactions of her fellow students, Lily was feeling rather frustrated as she spied three fifth years doing nothing more than scream as they ran from shop to shop, continuously fleeing the destruction the Death Eaters rained in their wake. After directing a House Elf to return them to the school, she prepared to continue her duel with the four Death Eaters that had their sights fixed on her. It was only as she heard a female cackle that sounded dreadfully familiar that she realized who, exactly, she was duelling.

'And here I was, hoping I'd never have to see the pitiful face of such a wretched Mudblood again…' The mocking voice of Bellatrix Black rang out, a high pitched drawl that would always grate on Lily's nerves, and that caused her to remember a flash of pain and screaming. She unintentionally began clutching her forearm, whereupon the scarred, faded word _Mudblood_ was still discernable. 'It seems as if Dumbledore really has lost it, to make someone like _her_ Head Girl.' Bellatrix sneered to her cronies, her full lips dipping downwards in a revolted frown, her eyes glinting in malicious fury as she began twirling her wand in her hand.

Lily merely narrowed her eyes as she forced herself to distance herself mentally from the duel, in an attempt to keep a level head. If she had any hope of surviving, she had to keep the fight from getting personal for her. It was only after a nearby potions shop exploded after being set fire to that the began to duel, the explosion acting almost as a signal.

While Lily was definitely more than a competent dueller, it was still four against one, and there aren't any shields that can be cast to protect against Unforgivables. It was because of this that it sent her into a lot of ducking, twirling, and jumping, leaving her very little time in which to return fire. It was only as she dropped to the ground and rolled in order to avoid a _Crucio_ that she was able to shoot off a painful jinx that would incapacitate one of the Death Eaters, with many barbed chains wrapping tightly around him and pinning his arms to his side, unable to cast anything.

Snarling at Bellatrix, Lily began casting solely at her, her attention diverted as she continued to dodge her other opponents. Calling upon all of her training with the training dummies, Lily was able to distract Bellatrix with an illusion of a thestral preparing to maul her long enough for her to send her flying backwards, far enough away that she went through the wall of the Three Broomsticks and stopped moving.

Turning to her remaining adversaries, Lily caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Without another thought, Lily dispatched her opponents with a charm to make them drunkenly hysterical and turned her full attention to him just in time to watch James fall like a marionette whose strings were cut.

She watched him fall, his body seeming to mingle with the snowflakes in its descent.

She watched the way he didn't seem to be able to move, the way he didn't seem to even be breathing, and felt her breath catch.

He plummeted along with the snow swirling around him, and didn't seem to notice that he took her heart with him.

' _James!_ ' Lily shrieked, her terror rendering her nearly hysterical as she ran towards the man she loved. She reached him after what felt like an eternity since he hit the ground and didn't move, but could no nothing more than scream in agony.

That was until she saw six approaching Death Eaters, and let only the thought of what they would do to James' prone form if she didn't get herself together cloud her mind.

She had always thought her fate to be that she'd die to protect those she loved, and with the thought that James was no exception, she combined her love, fear, pain, determination, and panic, and turned towards them.


	40. Chapter 40

**So I'm really sorry about the late update, but my brain hasn't been able to brain for a while; hopefully this makes up for it!**

 **Disclaimer: Sorry, just checked my bank account; still can't afford to be sued. Not mine!**

 **Chapter 40**

 _Tears can form_

 _At the most inconvenient of times_

 _They can expose emotions_

 _When we wish they would stay hidden_

 _They can disrupt the calm_

 _Hint at a relinquished control_

 _They betray pain_

 _And leave only emptiness in their wake_

 _Tears are pools of water_

 _That can overflow at any time_

 _And as they course down your face_

 _They leave a broken trail behind_

 _While they don't always indicate a broken heart_

 _The heart has always been known to be fragile_

 _And in the course of trying to repair it,_

 _The tears seem to never cease_

Time, while being a rather ambiguous entity, is always constant.

The impression of time, however, is far more erratic.

While it didn't last more than an hour, Lily felt that the time in which she spent standing over James' body dueling Death Eaters would never end; as she twirled, ducked, dodged, and rolled, Lily focused her attention solely on surviving and keeping them away from James, ignorant as to if he was even still breathing.

That wasn't the point.

Whether he was still alive – and if he knew what was good for him, he'd better be – or not, the point was that he deserved more.

He deserved so much more than to be dragged into this war, a war in which he didn't even have to fight in, not like she did. He deserved so many more opportunities than what had been offered; he deserved a chance to live, to thrive.

And she'd do everything she could to ensure that he could, even if it meant she'd fall first and be unable to witness it.

And as she downed three of her opponents, only for four more to arrive, Lily wiped the sweat off her brow and began to seriously question whether she'd even be able to save him.

* * *

 _There is almost a sense of triumph, when one is in a relationship._

 _There is the euphoria, the raging hormones, the invincibility and addiction to the other person._

 _But it's when you go about your daily routine that you possess a sense of triumph, because you're the one who's seen them asleep, their leg constantly twitching underneath you – you're the one betting against yourself whether their leg will kick you tonight or tomorrow night._

 _You've seen them in pain, and felt your own heart constrict at the sight._

 _You've seen them be passionate about something, the light shinning from their eyes, their hands waving ardently through the air._

 _You've seen them depressed, unable to make eye contact, unable to express themselves._

 _You've seen them laugh until their stomach is quivering, tears streaming down their face for a much different reason._

 _But it's when you've seen them at their worst, when they can't even think straight long enough to ask themselves if the shirt they threw on was the same shirt they wore yesterday – it was – or whether they had eaten properly in the last 48 hours –caffeine by itself doesn't count as a balanced diet – that you realize that you would be so lost without them, and that everyone else missed out on the best opportunity they had, because now they're yours, and you don't ever plan on letting them go._

 _But then again,_

 _Maybe that decision isn't up to you._

* * *

Minerva McGonagall kept running.

Unable to stop, unable to look to the sides and see the destruction the fires and Death Eaters had wreaked upon the village, unable to risk identifying a body.

She ran through the destroyed cobblestone streets of Hogsmeade with what felt like fire at her heels but was really only her own panic, her heartbeat thudding in her ears.

She ran until she was looking up at a hill and could see what looked like a dancing fire, soaring through the air, until she blinked the smoke out of her eyes and realized that the fire was really hair, attached to a body – that it was Lily Evans, surrounded by what Minerva was sure was some of her former students, fighting for her life. As she watched, Lily began to falter, until finally, it seemed as if from pure exhaustion only, she collapsed onto the fallen form of what Minerva assumed, her heart in her throat, to be James Potter. With only two Death Eaters remaining, Minerva approached before they could take advantage of the two Seventh Years.

After having dispatched the one closest to her, she turned just as Flitwick rendered the other one unconscious, both sharing a grim nod to each other before calling for a house elf to take the two students straight to the Hospital Wing.

Once they were gone, the two professors turned and began to fight their way to more students, hoping to be able to save them all, but knowing it was already too late.

After all, a child didn't have to be dead to be lost.

* * *

It is said that it takes a woman a month to fall in love, and a man only thirty seconds. While it took Lily much longer, James had no doubt that it took him less than that. As soon as he saw the little redhead on the Platform, tears in her eyes as she hugged her parents goodbye, and yet a brilliant smile on her face, shinning in its excitement, he knew he was doomed. While a young boy of eleven knows nothing about women, James knew that this one was different.

The fiery red hair could only be an indication of the personality within, as feisty as his mother. The green eyes shone with love as she interacted with her parents, and her smile was so wide that it revealed a dimple in one cheek. While James couldn't appreciate the beauty of her features at that age, it made her stand out in his mind as no other did.

It left an impression on a rather unimpressionable boy, and while he didn't know what love was, an impression was an notable start.

* * *

When James woke up, he found himself to be unsurprisingly in the Hospital Wing. Muffling a groan, James sat up against his pillows and began the arduous search for his glasses. When he finally managed to put them on his face, he squinted in the moonlight and tried to determine who it was in the bed next to him. He felt his heart stutter to a stop as he caught a glimpse of fiery red hair, and he threw himself out of the bed to rush to her side.

Exhaling loudly in relief when he wasn't able to locate any noticeable injuries, James sagged his way into her bed, just barely managing to maneuver himself under the blankets before Lily rolled over in her sleep and curled up on him. Feeling the familiar weight and warmth upon him, he wrapped his arms around her, one hand resting on her head, the other her lower back.

He was able to make out what looked like a date book filled with the homework assignments in Dorcas' handwriting resting unopened on Lily's bedside table, and was shocked to note that they had already been asleep for three days since the trip to Hogsmeade.

It was just as James started dozing again that he felt Lily twitch against him, her muscles in her arms and legs contracting until she almost kneed him. Extremely familiar with the process by now, James merely applied more pressure to her back, bringing her entire body flush against him and increasing contact. When the nightmare passed and her body sagged against his, he smiled fondly down upon her form as his fingers began to trek through her hair. He chuckled quietly as she began to mumble in her sleep –at least until he was able to make out her words.

'… I'm in love … of course he doesn't fancy me, Marls … smarter than that … know I just bring … with me … he … never leave … like a parasite … why can't James … alone …'

And, with only a handful of confusing words mumbled, James' heart plummeted well beneath the castle, and he felt colder and more desolate that he had since long before he'd ever laid eyes on a girl named Lily Evans.


End file.
